DF's brother and new girlfriend came up for the weekend for a visit and have been staying with us. Everything has been fine until this morning when I woke up to an overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke. Who smokes in someone else's house without asking? And it was in the living room where ALL of our baby stuff is set up. Ugh.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@mytrueloves I actually gasped!? Who thinks that's okay, around your babies stuff!?! I would have been seeing red, and asked them to leave. That is the worst and hardest smell to get out of furniture and homes and clothes... I'm so sorry that happened
UGH that is so disrespectful! As an ex smoker I would NEVER consider smoking inside someone's house without asking. The smell is so offensive to non smokers and so difficult to get out. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@mytrueloves that's absolutely crazy!!! Makes me so angry for you! I don't understand how anyone would think that was ok. Did you go off on them? Where they at least apologetic (not that it helps the situation.) I'm so sorry you had to deal with that today.
@mytrueloves ohhhh I would be so pissed. I had to tell my roommate when I interned one summer not to smoke in the apartment because I'm extremely sensitive to smoke (migraines and congestion) and also because it's a NON SMOKING LEASE. thankfully she complied from then on.
DF and I have a "your family, your problem" policy so he's gonna handle it. Mostly I hung out in my room to avoid the smell until the house aired out a bit. They've spent the day running errands so not much time for confrontation anyway.
I know they knew better because they've been here since Friday and have smoked outside every single time until now. Don't know what possessed them to do this given that.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
I've been staying off and biding time since we are both having issues, and it's been mostly quiet (until the last week or so.) But she's trying my last nerve. Nothing major, just death by a thousand paper cuts type stuff.
I can't tell you how many times I've now heard "jokes" of how "funny" it would be of they find out at our next ultrasound or birth that our child is a boy and not in fact a girl. Especially since we have bought mostly "girly" stuff and never even considered a boy name. The jealousy is finally seeping out for people to see.
So then, against my better judgement, I was trying to be nice...that always gets me far. *Eye roll* I often check the local bst boards to see if people I know are selling anything useful for our kids. Well I found a baby carrier (think ergo style but different brand) in her favorite color, literally a few roads over from me, for $5 (great used condition). So I asked if she was interested in having one. (Even telling her someone I knew was selling one specifically I was going to grab if she did want one.) She was pretty enthusiastic about wanting one, so I was like cool, I'll grab it. Literally not even a minute later I get a text to the effect of "Just so you know, our baby shower theme is camo. So we are trying to get everything in camo. So if you could find it in that, that's what I want." UM, effing excuse me?! I sat my phone down and walked away without an answer. All I wanted to type to her was, have you ever heard the phrase 'beggers can't be choosers' ? How about be thankful for anything your freakin given since it's a gift and this is kid number 2/3/4, for you guys." The audacity and entitlement made my head spin! Not to mention I have zero clue why she felt the need to bring up the baby shower (theme or not) because she has been told (more than once) that there is basically zero chance we are risking bringing a newborn into a baby shower during flu season.
After my obvious ignoring of that, she later text back about something unrelated, but something she said struck me oddly. So I kindly asked her if the nurses/hospital/anyone had talked to her (or of she had done any research) about the changes in safety precautions since my nephew was born. Obviously the answer was no (part of her text was about registering for a complete baby "bedding" set with bumpers, pillow, blankets etc for baby and camo headrest and strap covers for carseat.) So I nicely form it like a question basically informing her the AAP stance on things like bumpers and loose blankets being a sids/entrapment risk, car seat add ons not being safe if not from the company/for that seat (and that most come with that stuff now). I was meet with "Ugggh...". So I suggested maybe checking the AAP/WHO website for all the updated safety guidelines.
I asked if they were doing the infant seat (because I figured she was. Personal choice, no big deal. We went straight to a convertible seat, and will do so again. This is relevant.) because I was going to show her some good carseat options in camo, that had the straps and stuff with them. That's when it happened guys...her response of crazy. "Well obviously, because we can't afford one like YOU have". I was instantly SOOO pissed off! They all live together, baby daddy makes around $20/hr (DH worked for the same company, and was training to go into that job. The base pay for that job is right about $20/hr), and she makes at least $11/hour (I used to work the same job, for the same company. I know their pay scale.). DH is the sole provider for our household and makes between what the 2 of them do. To say they are far better off money wise is no stretch of the imagination. They should have no issue buying a carseat. Oh and the carseat that they "can't afford" (even though they have 5 months to save for/buy one) that she is referring to, is DS's Graco convertible seat that goes from birth to 65lbs, with higher rear facing limits. (I looked it up specifically to show her, on Walmart website, where I got it, that it's STILL that price)That is $109 after tax. This weird, condescending, pseudo-guilt trip text was over $109... It took all of my strength not to write back something shitty about how if they couldn't save $100 for a carseat in 4-5 months, how will they ever afford another human. But I didn't! Don't ask me how, because I still don't know. I did ask her if she was aware that buying an infant seat would be pretty close to that much (the cheapest I've seen when looking around here was $60/$70) and then she'd still need another around a year and at least a booster seat later, making it way more. She just said "I know that stuff is pricey". Like if she just would have said yes they were using one, cool. Lots of people like them, but that comment was ridiculous!
She's just turned 22 weeks and keeps making variations of the comment "We don't have a single thing for the baby yet./We have literally nothing for this baby." Like ok? What am I supposed to say to that? I want to say "And your point is? Maybe you should do something about that... Or are you waiting til your baby shower and praying everyone buys you all the things?"
MIL healed well and was able to return to work at the 6 week mark. She has been basically MIA from everything since. So I'm sure that won't last much longer (the quiet never lasts LOL)
GMIL checks on us girls occasionally if she hasn't heard about an appointment in awhile. (Knowing we are both high risk). But otherwise just talks about the house crap she is doing (she wants to sell the family house and move to a warmer state with one of DH's uncles.) It's a pretty old broken house, so there is a bunch to do.
Family reunion is next weekend. We're not going... Hopefully things have been ok for all you ladies!
@jomama1618 I don’t even know how you put up with that. My SIL and I were pregnant with our girls at the same time, but she was due before me and it was her first so there wasn’t really a sense of competition. But I do tell her about certain things (like when our niece outgrew her carrier and needed to switch to a convertible). But since I’m the more experienced Mom, she doesn’t get defensive. It’d annoy the crap out of me if she did.
Why do people feel the need to attempt to guilt me about when to have MY children!?! I've mentioned in a few threads that EVERYTIME we see MIL she says how great it would be to have the babies on her birthday (18th). I typically don't respond because she would get offended that I whole heartedly disagree. We had a check in today at the doctor's and they decided we would pick a date incase they don't want to come on their own. The offered days were the 20th or 21st. DH and I have a thing for the 21st so that's the date we chose. We told my parents and I was gonna tell his mom tomorrow so she could figure out what she wanted to do. This evening FIL texts me asking how the twins are and if we have a date. I told him yes the 21st but we aren't telling anyone else to avoid unwanted visitors in the hosptial. All he said was that he'd be in Montana so he'll miss it. But that it "Would be nice if they were born on the 18th" I didn't answer. I'm so friggen sick of MIL and FIL trying to convince me when to have my children like I have a choice!?! Nope!! From a woman whose had 5 children and used to be a nurse you'd think she'd understand but no... They'll come when they're ready and if that happens to be on the 18th you can bet I'll do whatever I can to keep them in until the 19th!! At this point I'm ready to tell DH he can be the mesaanger to his own parents.. I've been pretty fed up with them for a long time now and this is just icing my cake...
@mamabearcj When I went in to hospital with DS1, it was my bipolar difficult MIL’s birthday. I’m thankful so that he waited until the next morning to be born, because I would go nuts if I had to hear about them sharing a birthday every year! I hope your babies show up any day other than the 18th!!
I think it's ridiculous. Babies come when they come. yeah, you can set a date but even that's not a guarantee. And as you said, your dr only had two days open. I know my dr has specific days he schedules surgeries and such for.
@sammierose464 exactly, I literally have no Choice in when they want to come. I'll be happy whenever they decide to though I'd really like the 21st lol which is why I picked it when he said it was available. I'm not going to ask "hey can we actually go on 37w6d because it would make MIL reeeaaallly happy??" No. Fuck. That.
Ooof that is so ridiculous. They come when they are meant to.
DS was born on the 2 year anniversary of my Grandpa's death. We thought it was so special because it turned what was normally a dark memory day into this celebration! I truly think it was meant to be.
But yeah no I would not want my babies to share a birthday with what sounds like a crazy ass MIL
Ooof that is so ridiculous. They come when they are meant to.
DS was born on the 2 year anniversary of my Grandpa's death. We thought it was so special because it turned what was normally a dark memory day into this celebration! I truly think it was meant to be.
But yeah no I would not want my babies to share a birthday with what sounds like a crazy ass MIL
I'd love for G to be born Sept 20th, it's the 7 year anniversary of my grandpa's (who was like my dad). It's hard not having him here to meet his great grandchild because I can just picture the smile on his face. Although, the 20th would be 36+6 weeks.
@nasalot188@meltonj88 exactly. They'll be here soon enough I dont need the guilt trip that you dont get to share your day with them they can have their own day.. (I don't feel any guilt though, I'll feel utter joy and satisfaction on any day they come that isnt the 18th)
@mamabearcj Ugh that is so annoying!! Why do they always think they have a say? My MIL’s bday is Oct 16 so she has mentioned how nice it would be for him to be born then and what a great bday present it would be! Umm no, I would never hear the end of that...you better believe I will do whatever I can to keep him in past the 16th (due the 25th so I don’t expect it to be an issue), but he will come when he’s good and ready.
@jemmerjams I was due in mid May with DS and he came 3 weeks early. We now have birthdays 6 days apart, which I never dreamed of when I found out his due date. I am not a huge birthday person, but even I can admit that my birthday basically no longer exists and it's not even on the same damn day! You better warn your DH that your focus will solely be on your LO's birthday and not his if that happens! haha
spartan4life: My MIL’s bday is Oct 16 so she has mentioned how nice it would be for him to be born then and what a great bday present it would be!
MIL says the exact same thing and that we'd never have to buy her another gift again. Uhh thanks? I'll get you a gift if I want but my children won't be it
My birthday is October 22, my inlaws are the 19 and the 21 so I really want this baby to be farther away. Both my other kids have birthdays are 19 and 21 so they want the baby to have one of those numbers as well. It’s annoying but luckily they don’t really say much about it.
My dd’s Due date was right around my birthday and full disclosure I didn’t want to share my birthday! She ended up coming at 38 weeks (unintentionally) and then it wasn’t an issue.
Re: Official Crazy Family Thread (July/August)
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I've been staying off and biding time since we are both having issues, and it's been mostly quiet (until the last week or so.) But she's trying my last nerve. Nothing major, just death by a thousand paper cuts type stuff.
I can't tell you how many times I've now heard "jokes" of how "funny" it would be of they find out at our next ultrasound or birth that our child is a boy and not in fact a girl. Especially since we have bought mostly "girly" stuff and never even considered a boy name. The jealousy is finally seeping out for people to see.
So then, against my better judgement, I was trying to be nice...that always gets me far. *Eye roll*
I often check the local bst boards to see if people I know are selling anything useful for our kids. Well I found a baby carrier (think ergo style but different brand) in her favorite color, literally a few roads over from me, for $5 (great used condition). So I asked if she was interested in having one. (Even telling her someone I knew was selling one specifically I was going to grab if she did want one.) She was pretty enthusiastic about wanting one, so I was like cool, I'll grab it. Literally not even a minute later I get a text to the effect of "Just so you know, our baby shower theme is camo. So we are trying to get everything in camo. So if you could find it in that, that's what I want."
UM, effing excuse me?! I sat my phone down and walked away without an answer. All I wanted to type to her was, have you ever heard the phrase 'beggers can't be choosers' ? How about be thankful for anything your freakin given since it's a gift and this is kid number 2/3/4, for you guys." The audacity and entitlement made my head spin!
Not to mention I have zero clue why she felt the need to bring up the baby shower (theme or not) because she has been told (more than once) that there is basically zero chance we are risking bringing a newborn into a baby shower during flu season.
After my obvious ignoring of that, she later text back about something unrelated, but something she said struck me oddly. So I kindly asked her if the nurses/hospital/anyone had talked to her (or of she had done any research) about the changes in safety precautions since my nephew was born. Obviously the answer was no (part of her text was about registering for a complete baby "bedding" set with bumpers, pillow, blankets etc for baby and camo headrest and strap covers for carseat.) So I nicely form it like a question basically informing her the AAP stance on things like bumpers and loose blankets being a sids/entrapment risk, car seat add ons not being safe if not from the company/for that seat (and that most come with that stuff now). I was meet with "Ugggh...". So I suggested maybe checking the AAP/WHO website for all the updated safety guidelines.
I asked if they were doing the infant seat (because I figured she was. Personal choice, no big deal. We went straight to a convertible seat, and will do so again. This is relevant.) because I was going to show her some good carseat options in camo, that had the straps and stuff with them. That's when it happened guys...her response of crazy. "Well obviously, because we can't afford one like YOU have".
I was instantly SOOO pissed off! They all live together, baby daddy makes around $20/hr (DH worked for the same company, and was training to go into that job. The base pay for that job is right about $20/hr), and she makes at least $11/hour (I used to work the same job, for the same company. I know their pay scale.). DH is the sole provider for our household and makes between what the 2 of them do. To say they are far better off money wise is no stretch of the imagination.
They should have no issue buying a carseat. Oh and the carseat that they "can't afford" (even though they have 5 months to save for/buy one) that she is referring to, is DS's Graco convertible seat that goes from birth to 65lbs, with higher rear facing limits. (I looked it up specifically to show her, on Walmart website, where I got it, that it's STILL that price)That is $109 after tax.
This weird, condescending, pseudo-guilt trip text was over $109... It took all of my strength not to write back something shitty about how if they couldn't save $100 for a carseat in 4-5 months, how will they ever afford another human. But I didn't! Don't ask me how, because I still don't know.
I did ask her if she was aware that buying an infant seat would be pretty close to that much (the cheapest I've seen when looking around here was $60/$70) and then she'd still need another around a year and at least a booster seat later, making it way more. She just said "I know that stuff is pricey".
Like if she just would have said yes they were using one, cool. Lots of people like them, but that comment was ridiculous!
She's just turned 22 weeks and keeps making variations of the comment "We don't have a single thing for the baby yet./We have literally nothing for this baby." Like ok? What am I supposed to say to that? I want to say "And your point is? Maybe you should do something about that... Or are you waiting til your baby shower and praying everyone buys you all the things?"
MIL healed well and was able to return to work at the 6 week mark. She has been basically MIA from everything since. So I'm sure that won't last much longer (the quiet never lasts LOL)
GMIL checks on us girls occasionally if she hasn't heard about an appointment in awhile. (Knowing we are both high risk). But otherwise just talks about the house crap she is doing (she wants to sell the family house and move to a warmer state with one of DH's uncles.) It's a pretty old broken house, so there is a bunch to do.
Family reunion is next weekend. We're not going... Hopefully things have been ok for all you ladies!
to switch to a convertible). But since I’m the more
experienced Mom, she doesn’t get defensive. It’d annoy the crap out of me if she did.
I didn't answer. I'm so friggen sick of MIL and FIL trying to convince me when to have my children like I have a choice!?! Nope!! From a woman whose had 5 children and used to be a nurse you'd think she'd understand but no... They'll come when they're ready and if that happens to be on the 18th you can bet I'll do whatever I can to keep them in until the 19th!! At this point I'm ready to tell DH he can be the mesaanger to his own parents.. I've been pretty fed up with them for a long time now and this is just icing my cake...
I hope your babies show up any day other than the 18th!!
DS was born on the 2 year anniversary of my Grandpa's death. We thought it was so special because it turned what was normally a dark memory day into this celebration! I truly think it was meant to be.
But yeah no I would not want my babies to share a birthday with what sounds like a crazy ass MIL