I had a conversation with my supervisor the other day because two of my colleagues have interviews coming up and that's effectively 50% of the team potentially leaving. So he was like you aren't leaving too are you? No no. I get back to my desk and realize oh yeah, I totally will be. I completely blanked on the whole mat leave situation. I wouldn't have told him anyway because I'm not ready to announce at work but I didn't even have to lie!
I am also waiting for my 12 week scan. Not sure how supportive they will be... I think stress levels might go up after I tell them. Goodluck with telling them!
@knottie67fbdf79008c4a0b Americans get crap for leave, also I’d recommend changing your SN from the genric knottie, there’s a thread on how if you need help.
Told my team today at a team lunch. We were all together so I figured what the hell. Everyone is very supportive (our whole team is women anyway hah). No paid leave for me unfortunately as I won’t be at my company for a year when LO comes. Hoping I can work something out between FMLA and the NYC parental leave.
also in regards to returning to work after 12 weeks (or less)...you just figure out how to deal with the wacky sleep schedules lol
I told my boss today during a review meeting and he was very supportive and congratulated me. The only thing he wanted to know was whether I wanted to take 12 or 18 months off. He also knows that this is my last one, so after this I can really focus on my career.
I started a new job a week after I found out we were pregnant. Fast forward to 8 weeks and needing to go to my first doctor appointment.. I needed to ask for an extended lunch while on my probabtion period.. was asked if I was pregnant and I was honest.. was treated like trash for an entire week before I quit and went back to my previous employer. Now, I’m free to be pregnant and feel so much better
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Having such a rough day at the office, feeling absolutely ill and exhausted....only my boss is aware so trying to keep my sickness "on the inside"! Not an easy task! The last 4 days have been more and more all day sickness! I was lucky to have 2 weeks off on holidays just last week so was able to relax lots but back to it! Have a great day at work everyone!
Told my boss today and she was great and was super happy for me. Made me feel like I didn't have to worry at all.
Although I am in Canada and have access to a full year, I'll be taking 8 months and DH will likely take the remainder. With my style of work it's common for woman not to take the full leave. I also likely will work periodically to tend to some of my clients while on leave.
So happy to have this news out in the open here at work. I feel a large amount of anxiety being lifted off my shoulders.
You guys. I am so amazed at the support and consideration my job gives.
*TW*
A colleague just lost her baby at 20 weeks. She asked our boss to announce this at our weekly staff meeting to ask people to respect her privacy. My boss called all of us who are pregnant (there are 6 of us!) to give us a heads up and let us know we don’t have to attend if it will be upsetting.
She’s also setting up leave donations, meals, and restaurant gift cards to help ease things during this time.
Just did a leave calculation and I should have just enough annual and sick leave to take off 12 weeks! Last time I was pregnant I was barely able to get 9 weeks total. I will even have a week of sick and 2 weeks of annual leave to spare just in case my husband can't take off one day (he has an amazing leave package). It stinks we don't have a maternity/paternity leave policy, but I am thankful that I work for an agency that has a flexible leave policy.
I just told my boss and the head of HR this week. I work by myself in a remote office in NYC for a CA company. Was worried how they would react since I’m the only one in my office/position on the East Coast, and I’ve only been here for about a year. The head of HR was wonderfully supportive. It won’t be paid leave thru the company, but between short term disability and New York Paid Family Leave I should get 16-18 weeks. Was expecting much less so I am really happy. I’m so glad I told them so there is plenty of time to plan the transition. I was getting so nervous before telling them that I was driving myself crazy and having headaches. I came from a really abusive work environment that looked down on its employees and saw pregnancy as a burden (I was even asked by my old boss if I ever planned to have kids in the interview which was insane). I’m so glad I left there and came here.
I told my manager and director today at the same time.. they're happy for me, one bounced up and down and gave me a hug, the other a high 5. . Safe to say they're supportive but I knew they would be. Keeping it under wraps for a couple more weeks if at all possible for everyone else!
I told my manager and supervisor last week and today my manager announced it during a team meeting (with my permission). We never discussed mat leave but they are already planning how they are going to fill my position. I'm a bit ticked off that they would assume I'm taking leave but at least they are supportive.
I told my boss right after my performance appraisal and my director shortly after. Both were very supportive and told me to take as much leave as I wanted and seemed receptive to me teleworking during the end of my maternity leave. My boss mentioned that he would limit my workload in December, which I found super helpful, so just in case I go into labor early it is not a fire drill like last time.
Told my boss at 10w because I couldn't hide the bump anymore. He has 4 daughters with kids so he has been awesome. Told everyone else I work with directly around 12-13w and other people in the building are starting to just flat out ask if I'm expecting. I think that's against some unwritten rule, right?
@bellebaby221 It’s definitely pretty out there to ask if someone’s pregnant, especially early in the pregnancy. What if you’re just someone who gains weight mostly around your waist? Do you really want to take the risk and ask if someone’s pregnant and have it turn out they’re not? Besides, if they are pregnant and you see them regularly, you will know at some point anyway, without having to ask. Never got why anyone would flat out ask if someone else is pregnant.
My new thing to be annoyed at at work is how people ask how I’m feeling constantly. I felt fine, but after being asked how I feel for the tenth time before it’s even 10am I don’t anymore. Also, don’t tell me I shouldn’t carry stuff. I’m pregnant, not sick, and the stuff I’m carrying Isn’t even heavy.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
YES to the "how are you feeling?" question. I get that from half of my colleagues every day, and just got it from my boss this morning when I came in. I've been following this question with an honest answer, then a "And how are you feeling?" right back at them. It's great fun to see them pause.
@hannahbananas11 The same coworker has asked me at least five times if I’ve experienced morning sickness, and “is it all day or just in the morning?”. Yes I have experienced it. No, it’s all the time. And no, it hasn’t changed since the last time you asked three days ago.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I definitely would never ask someone, ever. I've learned that a lot of the people I work with have limited social skills and tend to be very direct about everything. So I guess I'm just used to it.
Oh god @BourbonBiscuits I am not looking forward to people judging my eating habits. Thankfully that’s not happened yet, but I’m sure I’ll have issues ordering coffee at some point. Pretty sure everyone I know both at work and privately are aware that I’m able to make my own choices.
Also if you see me substituting dinner with Doritos it’s because I’m having one hell of a rough day and it’s the only thing I can stomach. Best not to judge me if you want to keep living.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
the workplace sounds glorious. Maybe I won't tell anyone else at work... only 5 need to know people know. Maybe Ill let the rest of them just think Im just getting fat.
I'm almost 18 weeks, and have only told my boss (this past week) and one other co-worker who I'm close with. My boss is very excited for me and fortunately he is big on work/life balance and spending time with his kids, and two of my co-workers that report to him have kids 2 or younger and can work flexibly. I'm planning to announce to the rest of my dept when I'm back in the office because I'm taking the next 2 weeks off and I definitely won't be able to hide anything at that point.
@bellebaby221 that is ridiculous! Sorry you've been flat out asked.
My manager, supervisor, and 4-5 co-workers know and have been very respectful. I basically can't be bothered to tell anyone else. It'll become obvious soon enough, right?
Some people have no manners. If you think I shouldn't be lifting something stfu and offer help, not unsolicited advice.
I just told my chair and dean (I'm a prof) and they were both very chill about it, my chair was excited for me because she knew about my loss last feb, and the dean was like "congrats, here is the paperwork for you to fill out." I'm very fortunate that I will get the whole spring semester off. It's bullshit that family leave in the US is not mandatory, it makes me so mad!
@bellebaby221 No one should ever ask anyone else if they are pregnant! C'mon people! And I feel like that's actually illegal in the workplace? Also to all of you who are being asked how you feel all of the time, it is VERY annoying. It's already starting and I haven't even told that many people. My chair told me to expect a lot of unsolicited advice - here in the midwest people just like talking to you for no reason (I think they think it is friendly), I don't think I will ever get used to it, and I am sure it is worse when you're pregnant.
Started working for my current job Feb 2011. It's a great company overall but benefits/compensation suck and no maternity leave. I worked over 40 hours a week at a full time position hourly rate. Saved every single hour of PTO I got until I had DD in Dec 2013, it was enough for 5 weeks and change so I stretched it to cover 6 weeks of leave. I had a CS, so I really was supposed to take off at least 8 weeks, but you know. Bills and mouths to feed. Thank God I didn't have any complications.
Ever since then, I've been saving saving saving PTO, had to dip in a couple times, but this time I will have enough for 7 weeks and change. So I am taking 7 weeks and saving the change for an emergency. Then I will be back to almost zero.
I guess if you want to be a mom in this country you don't deserve any vacation for 10 years, and God forbid you get sick (or your child gets sick because that never happens!) or something else happens. Zero PTO since 2011 and still going, because all of it goes to maternity leave.
I definitely feel you all with all the unsolicited comments/questions/advice. I can't stand small talk as it is and pregnancy small talk is a special hell. One of the reasons I'm thankful to work night shift, in a position where I only talk to people at the beginning and end of my shift. And that is why I have stayed so long in a company with crappy benefits. I'd lose my shit if I had to deal with that all day every day. Y'all da real MVP.
@hannahbananas11 I know people genuinely mean well asking "how are you feeling" but it drives me up a fucking wall. FIL asked me and I asked him back and he was so confused. He said "but I'm not expecting." And I told him "yes, but I can still ask how you're feeling"
@notthecheat Preach! It completely blows. Some seriously f'ed up values here with not having some special benefits for paid mat leave across the board.
Re: Pregnancy in the workplace
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I had a conversation with my supervisor the other day because two of my colleagues have interviews coming up and that's effectively 50% of the team potentially leaving. So he was like you aren't leaving too are you? No no.
I get back to my desk and realize oh yeah, I totally will be.
also in regards to returning to work after 12 weeks (or less)...you just figure out how to deal with the wacky sleep schedules lol
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Although I am in Canada and have access to a full year, I'll be taking 8 months and DH will likely take the remainder. With my style of work it's common for woman not to take the full leave. I also likely will work periodically to tend to some of my clients while on leave.
So happy to have this news out in the open here at work. I feel a large amount of anxiety being lifted off my shoulders.
*TW*
A colleague just lost her baby at 20 weeks. She asked our boss to announce this at our weekly staff meeting to ask people to respect her privacy. My boss called all of us who are pregnant (there are 6 of us!) to give us a heads up and let us know we don’t have to attend if it will be upsetting.
She’s also setting up leave donations, meals, and restaurant gift cards to help ease things during this time.
I cried. A lot. For many reasons.
My new thing to be annoyed at at work is how people ask how I’m feeling constantly. I felt fine, but after being asked how I feel for the tenth time before it’s even 10am I don’t anymore. Also, don’t tell me I shouldn’t carry stuff. I’m pregnant, not sick, and the stuff I’m carrying Isn’t even heavy.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I hate when people ask me only about my pregnancy - I'm still a fucking person. Being pregnant/a mom is just part of my identity.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Also if you see me substituting dinner with Doritos it’s because I’m having one hell of a rough day and it’s the only thing I can stomach. Best not to judge me if you want to keep living.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
@bellebaby221 that is ridiculous! Sorry you've been flat out asked.
Some people have no manners. If you think I shouldn't be lifting something stfu and offer help, not unsolicited advice.
@bellebaby221 No one should ever ask anyone else if they are pregnant! C'mon people! And I feel like that's actually illegal in the workplace? Also to all of you who are being asked how you feel all of the time, it is VERY annoying. It's already starting and I haven't even told that many people. My chair told me to expect a lot of unsolicited advice - here in the midwest people just like talking to you for no reason (I think they think it is friendly), I don't think I will ever get used to it, and I am sure it is worse when you're pregnant.
Started working for my current job Feb 2011. It's a great company overall but benefits/compensation suck and no maternity leave. I worked over 40 hours a week at a full time position hourly rate. Saved every single hour of PTO I got until I had DD in Dec 2013, it was enough for 5 weeks and change so I stretched it to cover 6 weeks of leave. I had a CS, so I really was supposed to take off at least 8 weeks, but you know. Bills and mouths to feed. Thank God I didn't have any complications.
Ever since then, I've been saving saving saving PTO, had to dip in a couple times, but this time I will have enough for 7 weeks and change. So I am taking 7 weeks and saving the change for an emergency. Then I will be back to almost zero.
I guess if you want to be a mom in this country you don't deserve any vacation for 10 years, and God forbid you get sick (or your child gets sick because that never happens!) or something else happens. Zero PTO since 2011 and still going, because all of it goes to maternity leave.
I hate this country more and more every day.