I told my workplace boss I was pregnant as a head ups for her, I was still only early in and didn’t want anyone to know incase of any problems, I went on 2 weeks holiday and came back to “congratulations” off everyone. Yeah work with 40 women word gets around. (I was pissed but got over it) But everyone was pretty excited. My job is pretty physical standing all day lifting bending blah blah. Boss puts me on 6 days one day off she don’t care. Having a pretty hard time with my back, sick of all the older ladies there referring their experience to mine like “ oh when I was pregnant I was lifting this and doing this and I was okay “ or “it’s only going to get worse”. Most ladies are alright. Some are cows. Get them everywhere. Hate going to work. Really runs me down after work most days I can’t even get up after laying down the back pain is awful just brings me to tears I just cramp up with pain and can’t move.
@duevalentines14th yikes. Have you spoken with your doctor about what kinds of accommodations you require from your workplace?
PS I know you're frustrated, that's really shitty to have to deal with day in and day out. But calling other women cows is ... not cool in my book. Again, I get being frustrated and pissed off, that particular insult just has some really misogynistic undertones
@sjnsjnsjn ahh I see! It's so interesting how words can mean totally different things in different countries, even when speaking the same language. @duevalentines14th I'm sorry if you meant it the way @sjnsjnsjn interpreted!
@BourbonBiscuits- Totally. When I lived in Melbourne, I was like, it's weird how we purportedly all speak the same language, because I have no idea what you just said, haha
@BourbonBiscuits & @sjnsjnsjn I’ve lived an equal amount of years in Scotland and the US and I’ve seen some pretty gnarly arguments over language differences between Brits and Americans! Funny enough the word most people get super heated about is biscuit.
... Oh and the C-word, which is a whole different story.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretso - It keeps getting pushed out - it was 2016, then 2018, now it's 2020. They can't find the funding for it. I wouldn't get your hopes up for 2020 either.
I think I finally look a little preggers in my work clothes. I have gotten tummy level side eye from several people today, starting with the guards in the lobby who see me every day! Guess I better tell the rest of my supervisors, ha
Hey yeah I me using the word cows is the kindest word I could of used to describe them, it’s not that bad over here it’s a common word so sorry about that @BourbonBiscuits
@duevalentines14th I'm in the US. WA is referring to Washington State. Over here, it's very rare to get paid leave for anything at all. The particular state I live in is planning on making paid family leave mandatory, but like @kayjay44 says, it probably won't happen. And it definitely won't happen before our Feb 19 babies are born as their current start date is in 2020.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@sjnsjnsjn - Aw really that sucks, when grebretso said WA will be gettting it soon I assumed she meant a state in Australia 😂 we get funding from the government for everything, sitting at home not working, pregnancy, working but on low wage, studying, single mum, everything. I’ll be getting 10weeks full pay off my work and my partner will get 2 week when the Bub is born and then off the government I’ll get 8 weeks paid from what I usually earn at work (partner is entitled to 2 also). Then until I go back to work I’ll be receiving family assistance payment. and everyone wonders why the unemployment rate here is so high. 🙄
@grebretso - that really sucks, it’s so different over seas.. sorry to hear that so how do you’s survive money wise with a new born bub? If you don’t mind me asking.
@duevalentines14th Everyone copes differently! I'm lucky enough to live in a fairly cheap apartment and we have two incomes, so we've saved up a bunch of money. That money was supposed to go towards a downpayment, but now it'll go towards living on one income while I'm staying home. I'm also lucky enough to have a very understanding boss who lets me take 6 months off work, most American moms go back to work after 12-16 weeks.
I'm from Norway originally where you get a whole year of paid maternity leave, so this is all pretty jarring for me too. I can't even mention it to my mom, she gets so mad she can't speak without swearing and my mom NEVER swears.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretso sounds like you have a pretty good plan though given the circumstances.
We are lucky enough to have my partner working full time with a good income and me until I leave to go on maternity leave in early January as I can only work upto 34 weeks. But even then I’ll have support off work and government. I’m taking 12 months off being my first baby and child care centres over here and priced so high it’s not worth working and having a bub in childcare full time.
Sometimes we don’t realise how lucky we are until we know of someone else’s circumstances.
Some states (like S.C.) make it impossible to take any more than 12 weeks. I took the full FMLA leave for both DD and DS, but it was mostly unpaid and when I came back, I was punished for it. Not like write up punished, but under the table punished. They’re real careful around here and make sure they skirt the rules just enough so they don’t get in trouble.
Yeah it's brutal. At my last job I used up all my vacation/sick days (I'd saved 10 weeks) and took the last 2 weeks of unpaid FMLA. I had to stop working at 39 weeks (DS was born at 41) due to prodromal labor, so I went back to work when DS was 10 weeks old. And really, it was fine. Would I have liked to have been home longer to focus on breastfeeding and snuggling and resting and figuring out how to be a mom? Of course! But going back to work also felt good in a "I'm getting something accomplished each day and can talk to adults about not-poop" kind of way. This time my school doesn't have vacation time (or rather, trusts us to only take off as many days as we need in addition to all the breaks we get), but my salary is covered 100% by short term disability for 6 weeks (8 weeks for a c-section). I may take a few extra weeks unpaid (the school lets us take as many weeks unpaid as we want), but haven't decided yet.
With my son, I had been in my job for seven years and had accrued a decent amount of sick and vacation leave, which got me to about 2.5 months, and then I took about a month unpaid. No such thing as maternity leave pay at my job or in Illinois (at least for me!). This time, since I used all that accrued stuff up, it's gonna be mostly unpaid leave, and to answer your question, @duevalentines14th, I have no idea how we're gonna do that, especially because after that, then we're gonna have double daycare to pay. This system here is awful.
I get three weeks of paid parental leave from my workplace. This policy went into effect a couple of years ago. Previously, it was no paid leave, you'd have to use sick time, vacation time, or rely on short-term disability to have any kind of income. I rarely get sick, so I've accrued 9 weeks worth of sick time in the four years that I've worked here. I'll be using the three paid weeks of leave, then using 7 weeks of sick time to take a total of 10 weeks off (9 weeks being off full-time, and then I'll go back part-time for two weeks).
My husband is a resident physician at the same university I work at. The parental leave policy doesn't apply to hospital staff, so residents only get two weeks off (they're salaried, so it's two weeks paid). It's not a huge deal for my husband, since he's not the one birthing the child (and he'll be working from home for three months this spring doing research). But it absolutely sucks for the women in the residency program who have kids. I couldn't imagine going back to 14-hour days of hospital or clinical work only two weeks after a birth, let alone a c-section. That's brutal.
So, being in an office job, i am sitting at my desk for 9.5 hours a day, with hopeful breaks for lunch. I am in so much pain by the end of the day, by lunch it's almost unbearable the strain on my abdomen. I intend to work until Feb so wondering if anyone has any references or websites that have information on posture/seating etc while working at a desk when pregnant. I was finding that workouts in the morning were helping all of this but after yesterdays morning workout I just felt so much worse so i'm not sure. Rough days sitting at a desk, i wish I had a mobile job where I was walking but I do all my work on a computer.
Was almost ready to call the doctor yesterday but I see him next week so no point if it's not an emergency, i'm just so sore.
@bhou Could you get a standing desk converter? Not like an actual standing desk (those are pricey), but an adjustable thing that goes on top of your current desk, so you can alternate between sitting and standing. A coworker of mine has one, and she just put her two weeks in so I plan on stealing hers when she leaves. Maybe switching it up a couple times a day will help?
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@bhou The place I work (a university) provides someone through health and safety to come do ergonomic adjustments to work spaces for those who need it. Typically it's folks that require specific layouts or set ups due to a disability or injury but pregnancy is covered as well. I don't know if you would have something like that available but it might not hurt to ask.
With DD, I took 9 weeks, that was what I had saved up between sick and annual leave. This time I will be taking about 12 weeks, and teleworking one day a week from 8 weeks on to save some leave when one of the children get sick, etc. I am just grateful I have some more time at home this time around, but as it was said before I like having adult conversations and heading back to work does give me that sense of accomplishment. Also, I hope to be finishing up my grad degree in March, compared to just starting the program when I had DD. I am also glad we moved into a house where we can spread out, compared to our cramped condo that felt like a daycare because it had been overtaken by DD things. This time around I can focus on my family and recovery.
@kayjay44 the lots of water/frequent peeing is a great combo, I recommend to all. I honestly did that pre-pregnancy because no one should be sitting at a computer for 8+ hours a day. I also quite like lunchtime walks. Even if very brief the movement and the fresh air make a world of difference.
Oh neat. A supervisor in my division (not mine but still) came into my office today and asked if they were doing anything extra to watch me this pregnancy because of my age (I am 42; had my first at 40). Ummm, thx for asking?! Happy Monday to me!
@becks_726- The crazier part is that we are lawyers for the government and we deal with health privacy concerns on the regular in our cases, but when it comes to walking into my office and asking casually about my medical care... 🤷♀️!?!? My answer was, I would not know the difference because I was geriatric my first pregnancy too. GOOD TIMES!
Omg how is it that I keep having this happen. Another coworker comes in my office today, and after congratulating me asks whether i will be 42 or 43 at delivery (like she needed to know specifically which), and then says, man, and I was AMA at 35... Good for you?! Why do any of them think is APPROPRIATE!! They are all 50+ female lawyers saying this stuff to me. Wtf people, jaysus
Re: Pregnancy in the workplace
But everyone was pretty excited.
My job is pretty physical standing all day lifting bending blah blah. Boss puts me on 6 days one day off she don’t care.
Having a pretty hard time with my back, sick of all the older ladies there referring their experience to mine like “ oh when I was pregnant I was lifting this and doing this and I was okay “ or “it’s only going to get worse”. Most ladies are alright. Some are cows. Get them everywhere. Hate going to work. Really runs me down after work most days I can’t even get up after laying down the back pain is awful just brings me to tears I just cramp up with pain and can’t move.
Sorry for the rant, feeling better now 😂 thanks.
PS I know you're frustrated, that's really shitty to have to deal with day in and day out. But calling other women cows is ... not cool in my book. Again, I get being frustrated and pissed off, that particular insult just has some really misogynistic undertones
... Oh and the C-word, which is a whole different story.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
we get funding from the government for everything, sitting at home not working, pregnancy, working but on low wage, studying, single mum, everything. I’ll be getting 10weeks full pay off my work and my partner will get 2 week when the Bub is born and then off the government I’ll get 8 weeks paid from what I usually earn at work (partner is entitled to 2 also). Then until I go back to work I’ll be receiving family assistance payment.
and everyone wonders why the unemployment rate here is so high. 🙄
I'm from Norway originally where you get a whole year of paid maternity leave, so this is all pretty jarring for me too. I can't even mention it to my mom, she gets so mad she can't speak without swearing and my mom NEVER swears.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
We are lucky enough to have my partner working full time with a good income and me until I leave to go on maternity leave in early January as I can only work upto 34 weeks. But even then I’ll have support off work and government. I’m taking 12 months off being my first baby and child care centres over here and priced so high it’s not worth working and having a bub in childcare full time.
Sometimes we don’t realise how lucky we are until we know of someone else’s circumstances.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
My husband is a resident physician at the same university I work at. The parental leave policy doesn't apply to hospital staff, so residents only get two weeks off (they're salaried, so it's two weeks paid). It's not a huge deal for my husband, since he's not the one birthing the child (and he'll be working from home for three months this spring doing research). But it absolutely sucks for the women in the residency program who have kids. I couldn't imagine going back to 14-hour days of hospital or clinical work only two weeks after a birth, let alone a c-section. That's brutal.
Was almost ready to call the doctor yesterday but I see him next week so no point if it's not an emergency, i'm just so sore.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
The place I work (a university) provides someone through health and safety to come do ergonomic adjustments to work spaces for those who need it. Typically it's folks that require specific layouts or set ups due to a disability or injury but pregnancy is covered as well. I don't know if you would have something like that available but it might not hurt to ask.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
My answer was, I would not know the difference because I was geriatric my first pregnancy too. GOOD TIMES!