@temmetime@katy0990 I'm glad I'm not alone! Next time we talk (not text) I'm going to try to counter the advise with a very polite "yes - well, I wasn't asking for advice, just sharing." And hope that that is at least not taken badly. FX for us all
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echo-charlietango sympathy here. My mom used to do that a lot too. And then get very offended when I said I wasn’t looking for advice. Over time & repetitively setting the boundary, we’ve negotiated a (mostly) happy medium. I often preface conversations with “I’m just venting, I’ve already solved this problem” — and also give her some things she gets to give advice on where I can tolerate it.
I am so ungrateful. We do a vacation with my family one year and then my h’s the next. This coming summer is with h’s family. One SIL just booked the dates. No one asked me if it worked for me. I’m so annoyed because it will be hard for me to go that week. There are 6 families to coordinate(11 adults, 10 grandchildren and probably at least 1 an pair), so I am just a small piece...but I wish someone would have asked me. Also my IL are going to pay the lodging, so I sound like even more of a jerk. I just don’t have much leave so this really is my only vacation. I’m a whiny baby.
Well I must update. I realized the week they were discussing is ds1’s first week of kindergarten (week we expect based on history- we don’t actually have the 2019-2020 school calendar yet). So I told h the trip is a no go for us. Turns out his sister had asked him before booking. He just wasn’t thinking and said sure. Now he feels terrible. He thinks a good solution is that I can take ds1 and he can have ds2 and the new ds3 with him and his family at the beach. Oh hell no. Not an acceptable choice. He can go, but the kids will be with me.
@Activebaby that is crazy-making! I would be pretty upset if MH okayed family vacation dates without discussing with me. Isn’t that a basic expectation to coordinate schedules on this stuff? Are you okay with him going by himself, or do you want him to not go either?
I’d rather us all be able to go, but he has a big family and it’s really hard to get everyone together (different states and countries). So I wouldn’t be mad if he went. It’s not my top choice, but if the plans are already done (deposit already placed) then I’d be okay with it. What I’m not okay with is being apart from my kids. The thought of an ocean or pool without my supervision terrifies me. H screwed up. He knows it, but screw ups happen. I wouldn’t want him to hold it against me if I made a dumb decision.
@Activebaby Aw, man. I'd be so mad! But that might be the hormones talking. I think him going but the kids staying with you is a good compromise in this case, but he'd better make it up to you somehow since you'll be missing out on all the fun!
I just want to state that I'm expecting today to be a day where I have nothing to post in this thread. I only have one phone meeting, no meetings offsite, most colleagues are out of the office for the day, and I finally have time to work on my own without being interrupted. Wahooooo.
@hkom Oh man, that sucks. I find IVs to be extremely uncomfortable and to be on your 4th placement! Ugh. I'm so sorry.
Much less annoying bitch - is anyone else constantly getting logged out of the Bump app? It's even happening on my desktop version which is driving me nuts. (I swear the Bump is the wonkiest app that has ever existed.)
@activebaby The first thing I thought of when I read your post was that there's no way I would let me kids be IN THE OCEAN without me there (or a pool, for that matter). Sorry about the botch up
@activebaby The first thing I thought of when I read your post was that there's no way I would let me kids be IN THE OCEAN without me there (or a pool, for that matter). Sorry about the botch up
H said, but my whole family will be there too to help. I just said the truth...I don’t trust anyone except myself to be super vigilant with my children. Heck I don’t trust myself always because kids are kids and don’t listen.
@Activebaby all that makes me think of is the time I was at my ILs house and I went upstairs to take a shower and left 2 yo DS downstairs with 3 adults. I open the bathroom door and he's at the top of the freaking stairs. No... Just no.
Sad bitch fest. *TW for a talk about past losses and friends' trouble TTC* I am so heartbroken for my friends and so angry at luck/fate today. Very long story kind of short, I was in a TTC thread with two of my good friends after I had my MMC, and since we first started messaging they have been through so much. One of them also had a MMC, the other found out about a serious chromosomal issue she has, plus issues with her uterus, and this struggle has been so incredibly hard on them both. They have both been trying now for over a year and a half, and after several round of egg retrieval for one friend and surgery on her uterus, and a MMC and failed medication interventions for another, they finally were able to do a FET and an IUI respectively. And this week they found out both of their procedures failed. I am just heartbroken for them both. My one friend is down to just two healthy embryos now and my other friend is just emotionally devastated after trying so hard for so long, dealing with a MMC, failed medication now a failed IUI. It just absolutely SUCKS and is unfair how hard it can be to conceive and how painful the struggle can be, and that it's just fate/luck sometimes. And I feel like there's nothing I can do to help them hurting. It's just so terrible and I am so upset for them and feeling helpless to do anything to actually make them feel better.
@maureenmce *TW* As someone who has been through the infertility ringer with 7 IUI/IVF failed cycles, a MC and finally resorting to donor eggs for this pregnancy, I totally understand and feel for your friends. My heart breaks for them. I think you need to know that you are doing SOOO much for them just by being a supportive friend and listening. I could not have gotten through without my friends. AT ALL.
@maureenmce It is so sad and unfair how some women get pregnant easily and are terrible mothers, while others long for a child and try so hard only to have such terrible things happen. *hugs*
@maureenmce I'm so sorry to hear about both of your friends. That has to be one of the most difficult struggles anyone can face in life. There's probably not a lot you can do physically, but being there for them & being supportive offers more than you think. That's so heartbreaking
I've had a shit day so far. DH hit a big pot hot on the interstate yesterday which put a bubble in the tire & he had to get a new one. I'm so glad they're ok, but it's an unexpected expense & the car is likely out of alignment again. DH puts cash in the dresser drawer beside the bed...where DS loves to investigate. I looked 4 times this morning and couldn't find the money. Finally when I was home at lunch I found one bunch stuck deep in between a bunch of cards and papers in the drawer and the other bunch up over the back of the drawer. I can't stress this enough to DH to learn his lesson on taking better care of a stash of cash I ate 2 ice cream bars before bed last night (WHY) and slept absolutely horrible. I woke up feeling hungover & just generally irritable today. Like everything is bothering me. They found bacteria in our town water so we are on a strict boil water policy immediately. Now I have to buy water for everything including cooking. Just a super inconvenience. A local man just passed away this week at 69. He was a very good friend to my dad and DH's dad. He became ill with an intense cancer a couple of months ago. It's just so sad and the whole town feels gloomy.
The bright side is that (TMI ahead) I've had a bowel movement every day this week. That is a serious win for this constipated pregnant hormonal lady.
@maureenmce I'm so sorry for both of your friends. It seems like sometimes the most deserving people have the hardest time and it's just not fair. It breaks my heart.
@temmetime I'm so sorry for your string of bad luck...I hope it gets better! Glad you got to poop though...that's a win in the pregnancy world!
@lexidawg Thanks so much for your response and I'm so sorry you had an incredibly tough road. As someone who has been there, do you think there's any kind of gift or gesture to show my love that's appropriate or is it best to just listen and offer support? I want to do something to brighten their days but also don't want to call attention to their pain and make it worse. Was thinking baking cookies and bringing by a nice bottle of wine, but I don't want to be insensitive.
It meant everything. I wanted someone to tell me that it sucked and not that things would work out in the end, etc. I think a card like this and a bottle of wine would be SO appreciated. I know I would!
@maureenmce I'm so sorry for your friends. That's absolutely heartbreaking. I think a card like the one @lexidawg mentioned and a small gift is great. I would want that kind of understanding from my friends if I were in that situation.
@maureenmce no advice but just want to acknowledge how hard it is to be helpless to fix something for someone you care about — and to bear witness to their helplessness to fix things too. Being there is the most important thing, whatever that looks like for you.
And @lexidawg — that card is awesome. Thanks for sharing your experience.
@temmetime what a rough day! Boiling water/all bottled water is such a nuisance.
My BF is minor in the scheme of things. But I’m annoyed that I spent 12.5 productive hours at work today and am still way behind. So I am donating my time and getting stressed because management can’t manage to hire anyone so we are adequately staffed.
@activebaby The first thing I thought of when I read your post was that there's no way I would let me kids be IN THE OCEAN without me there (or a pool, for that matter). Sorry about the botch up
H said, but my whole family will be there too to help. I just said the truth...I don’t trust anyone except myself to be super vigilant with my children. Heck I don’t trust myself always because kids are kids and don’t listen.
Agree. Family gatherings tend to be more risky because people think someone else is watching & vice versa. I like to watch myself as well!
Hi ladies! I'm officially back after lord knows how long! The moving situation was a nightmare, but we officially found a place 2 days before we had to move.... it's less than ideal, super small and crazy over priced, but with no options... it will do! Thank you non existent homer rental market! My Honey made it back the week before the move. That was a godsend for sure!!!! And my father left 2 weeks after the move to go back home from his extended vacation here with me. It took a month to get internet service, and cell phone service here is shotty at best.... so that's why I have been MIA so long! Now, my hubby is gone fishing again... My little boy just started kindergarten, and I'm starting to feel like a perpetually exhausted walrus.. lol! Attempting to unpack this house which usually ends in me taking a nap somewhere with very little done... Haha good to be back though! Thank God all that stress is over with!!!
@winterplumeria congrats on finding a place! Lucky indeed that your dad was there to help and hubby got back in time for the move. Sorry it's been such an ordeal. You can join me in the "many boxes still left to unpack, but I'm way too exhausted to do anything about it" club. And perpetually exhausted walrus made me laugh, only because that's literally me right now! Welcome back!
My husband is drunk snoring next to me while I get kicked in the ribs by our growing human. Smothering him with a pillow is acceptable in this situation, right?
Re: Bitch, Please! Week of 8.27
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I just want to state that I'm expecting today to be a day where I have nothing to post in this thread. I only have one phone meeting, no meetings offsite, most colleagues are out of the office for the day, and I finally have time to work on my own without being interrupted. Wahooooo.
Much less annoying bitch - is anyone else constantly getting logged out of the Bump app? It's even happening on my desktop version which is driving me nuts. (I swear the Bump is the wonkiest app that has ever existed.)
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Heck I don’t trust myself always because kids are kids and don’t listen.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
*TW for a talk about past losses and friends' trouble TTC*
I am so heartbroken for my friends and so angry at luck/fate today. Very long story kind of short, I was in a TTC thread with two of my good friends after I had my MMC, and since we first started messaging they have been through so much. One of them also had a MMC, the other found out about a serious chromosomal issue she has, plus issues with her uterus, and this struggle has been so incredibly hard on them both. They have both been trying now for over a year and a half, and after several round of egg retrieval for one friend and surgery on her uterus, and a MMC and failed medication interventions for another, they finally were able to do a FET and an IUI respectively. And this week they found out both of their procedures failed. I am just heartbroken for them both. My one friend is down to just two healthy embryos now and my other friend is just emotionally devastated after trying so hard for so long, dealing with a MMC, failed medication now a failed IUI. It just absolutely SUCKS and is unfair how hard it can be to conceive and how painful the struggle can be, and that it's just fate/luck sometimes. And I feel like there's nothing I can do to help them hurting. It's just so terrible and I am so upset for them and feeling helpless to do anything to actually make them feel better.
I've had a shit day so far.
DH hit a big pot hot on the interstate yesterday which put a bubble in the tire & he had to get a new one. I'm so glad they're ok, but it's an unexpected expense & the car is likely out of alignment again.
DH puts cash in the dresser drawer beside the bed...where DS loves to investigate. I looked 4 times this morning and couldn't find the money. Finally when I was home at lunch I found one bunch stuck deep in between a bunch of cards and papers in the drawer and the other bunch up over the back of the drawer. I can't stress this enough to DH to learn his lesson on taking better care of a stash of cash
I ate 2 ice cream bars before bed last night (WHY) and slept absolutely horrible. I woke up feeling hungover & just generally irritable today. Like everything is bothering me.
They found bacteria in our town water so we are on a strict boil water policy immediately. Now I have to buy water for everything including cooking. Just a super inconvenience.
A local man just passed away this week at 69. He was a very good friend to my dad and DH's dad. He became ill with an intense cancer a couple of months ago. It's just so sad and the whole town feels gloomy.
The bright side is that (TMI ahead) I've had a bowel movement every day this week. That is a serious win for this constipated pregnant hormonal lady.
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
@temmetime I'm so sorry for your string of bad luck...I hope it gets better! Glad you got to poop though...that's a win in the pregnancy world!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/593609203/one-day?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=ivf failure card&ref=sr_gallery-2-36&organic_search_click=1
It meant everything. I wanted someone to tell me that it sucked and not that things would work out in the end, etc. I think a card like this and a bottle of wine would be SO appreciated. I know I would!
And @lexidawg — that card is awesome. Thanks for sharing your experience.
@temmetime what a rough day! Boiling water/all bottled water is such a nuisance.
My BF is minor in the scheme of things. But I’m annoyed that I spent 12.5 productive hours at work today and am still way behind. So I am donating my time and getting stressed because management can’t manage to hire anyone so we are adequately staffed.