Bitch, Please! Week of 8.27

hkom

hkom

Whoever is in the room next to me IS SO LOUD.  Their guests come in and everyone yell-talks at each other.  They have TV/music on full blast - I can hear it clearly through the wall.  Right now it sounds like Kids Bop or something - like popular songs but definitely not the real versions, and the songs change every ~30 seconds?  IDK.  They've been here for a few days and I am so annoyed at them.  It's a hospital - babies are sleeping - please shut up!

morgantu

@hkom yuck, that is super annoying. Did they have a baby? maybe they're going home soon! 

Mine is leftover from last week. MH's family is OBSESSED with us "needing" to have a boy. We are team green but at least 5 people mentioned that we need to make sure we have a boy to "keep the name going'. Well, people, let me lay out the issues with this: 
It's a fkking common last name. It's gonna keep going somewhere. 
I have no control over the sex of this baby. Nor do i give a shit. 
And now for my personal favorite, which i explained to everyone who made this comment to me; well, it could always be a girl who keeps the name, a boy who decides to take a partner's name, or a child of any sex and gender who doesn't go on to have children, thereby "ending" the name so there's no reason to pin all your hopes on what's between its legs.

texas_t

@hkom I'm that person that would complain to a nurse.  Noise makes me a curmudgeon. 

LLynde5

@hkom that’s super annoying. I’m sorry your neighbor is a dick. 

Here is my bitch....hold on tight this may get long...we have been under contract since 7/31 on a house.   We have paid a 5K deposit and 1,200.00 between inspection and appraisal.  After inspection the sellers took over a week to counter.  We did not accept it,  we said fix everything or we walk knowing we would be out a little money.  After 24 hours of hearing nothing I was just ready to terminate but the appraisal was suppose to come in.  So it dragged out till Friday.  We got the verbal that they were going to fix everything (never anything in writing) but we had one Day left in the negotiation period and at this point the whole experience has been awful and I am over this deal.  I would rather build in the spring.  Realtor and mortgage company agree it’s time to walk.  Now today, their asshat of a realtor informs us that he will not be giving our 5K back.  The house is already back on the market for the same price with the same structural issues not fixed.  I am dying to see if they disclose properly and am preparing to get my lawyer involved.  Now I HATE everyone today and am trying not to leave my house because somebody is going to look at me wrong and the gate of hell are going to be unleaded on them.  Luckily my mom has DD overnight today because I would be embarrassed if she saw me this mad and weepy. 

omnommer

@morgantu Ugh that would annoy me so much! I changed my last name, but only because I thought it sounded "better" with my first and middle. Haha! (I didn't keep my maiden name anywhere in my full name.) My sister kept our maiden name when she got married. And I know guys who have merged last names with their wives to make something unique and their own (either hyphenating or simply merging two names together into a unique new name.) 

clbness

Oh, @LLynde5, I am so sorry this nightmare keeps dragging on...and at the tune of all this money.  This is so not fair and I can't believe their realtor is playing these games.  Sending you all the creepy internet hugs, girl. 

morgantu

Oh no, @LLynde5, that is sooooo disappointing. How can they not give back the deposit if the inspection contingency wasn't signed or accepted?? That deposit should have gone to your escrow, shouldn't it?!?!? 

@omnommer right?? I changed my name too, because I wanted to be a 'unit' with mh. But it was not a given at any point, and I totally respect people's decision to keep their name or do a mash up (I actually love that). I also know a (marroed, hetero) couple who's new baby has the mom's last name and both parents have their original names. There is no telling what kinds of different scenarios could occur. I was just so surprised and put off by these conversations all week. Now I kind of want only girls just to spite them lol

echo-charlietango

@hkom Uggghhh, how annoying. Maybe I should add DH’s noise cancelling headphones to my hospital bag list…

@morgantu Yikes - sorry they’re trying to put the pressure of a legacy on you…that’s not how it works! I like how you specify that it could be a boy who takes a partner’s name, because a best friend and I considered dating, but didn’t because we had the same last name and we were both planning to change ours, so we couldn’t risk falling in love in 8th grade

@LLynde5 Get that lawyer involved, I’m mad for you too!

I only have a tiny BF. I realized why my mother bugs me so much - it's because she always dispenses unwanted advice. Example - If I say "the dogs are shedding so much" she hears "OMG the dogs are shedding too much, what should I do?!" So as a result I just don't talk to her much, because I don't need advice every 30 seconds. I would kind of understand if I was needy, or didn't have my shit together...but that's not the case. Now that I see this I am watching myself - and avoiding doing the same thing - and man is it horrifying that I am turning into my mom. I kind of want to tell her what she's doing, but she's super sensitive and would perceive it as an attack on her character...or something. That's all.

katy0990

@morgantu  That is so annoying! I am having the same situation, only with the baby being a girl. We already have a 2 year old son and H’s family hasn’t had a girl since his aunt, who is 60. Everybody keeps asking me if I think this is THE girl.  We hope to have four children regardless of the sex, so it really does not matter to me. I will be thrilled if the baby is healthy and I truly could care less about the sex, so stop asking! 

@LLynde5 You should definitely be getting your money back, as long as your offer was pending inspection. That’s complete BS. I’m sorrry that you are dealing with this!

Activebaby

I am missing ds1’s first ever soccer game and feel sad. I have a review course with CEUs that I need for my certification renewals (work is paying for it). I was putting together all of my hours to see how many I was shy for my certification due in Dec and it was only 9 hours! I was so excited. Then I looked up what I needed for my certification that expires in May and it requires 30 more hours (in addition than what I’ve completed.) I may not be 39 hours away (one is a 3 year and the other a 5 year, so I know I have additional hours, I just have to review it.). Anyway I was sad and then got super excited that maybe I could make the game, then sad again. I could pay to do the review course on my own online for $800....umm nope, I’m just going to miss the soccer game. 

omnommer

Just a tiny little bitch for this morning. A colleague just took up 5 minutes of my time (not much I know), but she's been here a year. She was wanting to know where all our "specialty" paper was for printing things. Doesn't she know what we have and where it is yet? Also, then she asked, is there anything I need to set on the printer to make sure it prints in color? I told her that was in her print settings on the computer.... how do people not know this? 

I'm busy working on actual client work, and don't really have time for more of these kinds of side-conversations this week since I'm on a deadline and I have Friday off and then next Monday for Labor Day.

Activebaby

omnommer said:

Just a tiny little bitch for this morning. A colleague just took up 5 minutes of my time (not much I know), but she's been here a year. She was wanting to know where all our "specialty" paper was for printing things. Doesn't she know what we have and where it is yet? Also, then she asked, is there anything I need to set on the printer to make sure it prints in color? I told her that was in her print settings on the computer.... how do people not know this? 

I'm busy working on actual client work, and don't really have time for more of these kinds of side-conversations this week since I'm on a deadline and I have Friday off and then next Monday for Labor Day.

I have a colleague who has been in my job longer than I have who constantly asks me these kinds of questions. I try to be nice, but seriously....

LLynde5

@clbness @morgantu @echo-charlietango @katy0990.  So maybe I worded that a little wrong.  Correct in that the money is sitting in an escrow account at the other realtors company.  Per the contract, they have 30 days to file against us, I believe it would be 30 days after our scheduled closing date 9/7.  We have followed the contract.  Nothing was agreed upon during the inspection negotiations.  They are mad that they were going to give us (verbal between realtors) what we asked for and we still backed out but like I said I had nothing in writing about the so call agreement and they have been playing games since the initial offer.  (They took more time to accept then we had in the contract because they wanted to show the house more for a better offer, didn’t replace carpet that they had in the contract by 8/1, argued the inspection, made it hard to get estimates, blocked entry for the appraisal even though inspection were done and then took their sweet time getting back to us).  The added stress isn’t treating me well and I felt like the deal had too much bad blood on it.  I have everything documented so they really can’t win but they can drag it out for months if they want to.  I think the realtor thinks holding our money is hurting us some how but it’s just pissing me off and he is giving me more ammo to file a complaint with the state.  Their realtor is one of the higher ups for Caldwell Banker so he thinks he is untouchable but he is the reason this deal went south and knows this deal will look bad on him because he couldn’t follow a simple timeline. 

mag1cbeli3ver

@LLynde5 I'm so sorry the sellers and their agent are being total a-holes! Real estate can be such a PITA in the first place, but then to throw all of this on top of it... I hope everything gets resolved sooner rather than later and you can move on and find your perfect home! (Did you mention maybe building? That would be awesome!)

ab_canada

@LLynde5
What an a**hole. As if he is helping his business any by treating the other party badly.. It's not like holding up your money will make you change your mind on the house. 

omnommer

@Activebaby Welp, it's turned into a larger bitch... haha! I was trying to tell her the steps for what she should do (it's not that hard right?), because I'm on a deadline. She couldn't figure it out. So I got up to help and explained again that I'm on deadline but I'm happy to help. She said "I'll just take it to a print shop since you're angry that I'm asking your help."

1. She NEVER asked. She stated "I can't get it work." And expected me to jump. I've told my boss about how this one colleague treats me like an assistant when that is not my job description (and any assistant should not be treated that way anyways. A little bit of politeness and actually asking rather than demanding goes a looooong way.) 
2. I never was angry. I literally said, I'm on a deadline. I can help you a bit later when I wrap this up, or this is what you can do now (and then outlined the steps verbally.) 

So I told her, I'm not angry, I'm just on a deadline. But let's figure this out now. And I helped her get the stuff printed. I'm just frustrated that she's taking it out on me that I'm trying to help and she can't understand. And I know it's just the hormones in my body that are causing me to want to cry, but it's making me be less effective at my tasks that have a deadline.  

katy0990

@LLynde5 I hope that next year, when you are in your new build, you send that asshole realtor a photo and a thank you card for scaring you away from what sounds like a complete nightmare.
@Activebaby  I am so sorry you are missing your son’s game. Being a working mom really sucks sometimes. *hugs*

Activebaby

@omnommer lol she sounds dramatic. My colleague is genuinely friendly, it’s just amazing that she will ask me how to run a database report so many times. Then she will ask me where I found graphs for reports...surprise... I made it on excel! I’m not great with excel so they are basic graphs. She’s so nice though that I explain each time. 

maureenmce

@omnommer Oh, I would totally lose my patience. Colleagues who can't solve their own problems (and expect someone else to do so) drive me nuts! 

@Activebaby I'm so sorry you'll miss DS1's first soccer game. Just remember you'll make up for it, I'm sure you'll be attending many, many soccer games in the future! But I know that must be hard - hugs! 

As for me, there are larger things I could bitch about, but the thing I'm going to focus on is that I've had Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes stuck in my head for two days and I feel like I'm losing my mind, haha.

mamajudec2018

@LLynde5 I'm so sorry that this seems to keep dragging on! I can't imagine how frustrating it is! I don't understand why people need to make things difficult. I mean shouldn't they want to sell their house? But building does sound fun! To be able to pick out everything you want!

omnommer

@Activebaby Good thing your colleague is friendly! I have another colleague who is actually just totally clueless when it comes to the printer and to editing things like headers and footers in Word. I can handle her thought because: She asks and doesn't assume that I'm going to help right then and there. Like "Hey, do you have a minute to help with XYZ?" and if I say "i'm finishing this other thing up, but I can in 30 minutes" - she's totally thankful for the help. 

@maureenmce I agree! And I feel like it's even worse right now with my hormones. Haha! Between this, the few other office politics issues at my work and the last minute nature of my boss (I don't think I want that stress with a newborn), I'm like 99% sure that I've decided to step out of the workforce for at least a year. Plus daycare costs just over half my salary, and then it's not a ton to take home. I have to talk to my boss next week and let her know, but knowing that this is what I've decided, I feel like I can handle any weird colleague interactions for the time being.

kadeephd

@hkom Hope your noisy neighbors leave soon!

@LLynde5 That sounds very fishy.  I hope your lawyer is able to get your money back.  I would be so upset.

My BF is how annoying TB is.  Every page takes forever to load and there are all these ads, and then things move around when I am trying to read them!  This is very minor in the grand scheme of things.  It just annoys me when things that should be simple don't work.

morgantu

Bf #2 for me. Fruit flies! Ahhhhhh! There were a few when we got home from vacation yesterday which isn't super surprising but today they're twice as bad! In the kitchen and.....the bathroom? I have never ever had a fruit fly in the bathroom experience before. I have vinegar/dish soap traps set up all over and I'm sure they'll take care of it in a day or so, but geez, they are annoying. 

hkom

@morgantu I haaaaate fruit flies!  They show up in my bathroom too, I have no idea why. 
And they just explode out of nowhere.  I won't see one for weeks or even months, but as soon as a bottle of wine is opened all of a sudden they appear!  Where are they hiding?! 

Katzalia

@morgantu try vinegar or something in the drain. So gross but sometimes they set up camp in the damp of the sink trap. 

morgantu

@Katzalia I'll try it! Whatever works, thanks 

Katzalia

Okay, I have a BF saved up from last week when I was too swamped at work to type this out.

One of the other providers at work (think older Eastern European woman, very blunt) told me last week “you look so much prettier now that you’ve lost weight!” When I gently tried to help her realize she had her foot in her mouth by telling her that I actually had lost weight because I was sick, she interrupts me to say “no one wants to lose weight because they are sick but now that you’ve lost it, it will be so much easier to keep it off.” 

This was in the middle of the hall in a heavily-trafficked patient care area, and my very interdisciplinary job is heavy on the collaboration and relationships with everyone, so I murmured something pleasantly non-committal and ended the conversation politely. I was thisclose to pointedly telling her that actually, I have every expectation of *gaining* weight in the near future. As I am 5 effing months pregnant. 
 
Her comments were so beyond inappropriate!! I’m not super triggered by it but I did have a “wtf just happened here” feeling after that conversation and am still apalled. Clearly she didn’t know that I’m pregnant. But still — why do some people think comments about other people's weight are acceptable (even ostensible or backhanded compliments)?  

LLynde5

@Katzalia as someone who has struggled with their weight at times on both ends of the spectrum.  If you are not in my most inner circle (husband, bff or Mom) you have absolutely not right to comment. ever.  Positive or negative.  I get just as upset if someone says I am looking better.  It actually why I don’t do HDBD.  I love seeing everyone else but I just can’t put myself out there. (I know you’ll would criticize but too far out of my comfort zone)

I’m sorry your coworker thinks she can speak to you about such things. 

Jens_Hoes

morgantu said:

@Katzalia I'll try it! Whatever works, thanks 

When I have fruit flies that won’t go away I use an empty bottle of wine and pour a half inch of red wine in the bottom and just leave it out. They are attracted to the smell but once they get down far enough in the bottle they can’t get back out. 

Katzalia

@LLynde5 exactly. Unless you know me well enough that we have discussed my situation and any current goals I have, then it is a no-go topic. I mean, there are lots of reasons people lose or gain weight, and lots of those (in either direction) may not be desired outcomes or things that feel within the person’s control. 

katy0990

@Katzalia Wow! Wtf was she thinking? How is that appropriate?

rosebud332

@Katzalia Wow. After you said you were sick and she still was just concerned about your weight. What in the world. Not knowing you are pregnant, losing weight because of an illness could mean you are VERY sick! Some people are just baffling.

Speaking of bugs. We have these little silver fish that are coming out of the woodwork. I keep finding them randomly and killing them (savagely) but I don’t know where they’re coming from! It might be the time of year or maybe I cleaned a spot they were hiding out the other day. I hope they’re gone soon. So gross.

ab_canada

@Katzalia
As someone originally from Eastern Europe I can tell you that it's a common attitude there. It's rude, but I would just roll my eyes and brush it off as a cultural difference.

Activebaby

@rosebud332 we have the random silverfish in the upstairs bathroom. They seem to go away after we have the house sprayed, then come back every once in a while. 

Activebaby

I am so ungrateful. We do a vacation with my family one year and then my h’s the next. This coming summer is with h’s family. One SIL just booked the dates. No one asked me if it worked for me. I’m so annoyed because it will be hard for me to go that week. There are 6 families to coordinate(11 adults, 10 grandchildren and probably at least 1 an pair), so I am just a small piece...but I wish someone would have asked me. Also my IL are going to pay the lodging, so I sound like even more of a jerk. I just don’t have much leave so this really is my only vacation. I’m a whiny baby. 

PensiveCrayon

Silverfish are HORRIBLE. Just the way they move is so ick. I'm not really one to be afraid of spiders, but silverfish and earwigs are my trigger bugs. Ew ew ew.

katy0990

@Activebaby I can understand your frustration. Just because you wanted to be consulted about the dates, does not make you ungrateful. You would think she would’ve at least sent out a group text or something

Katzalia

@ab_canada I agree it definitely seemed like at least partly cultural thing, which is why I mentioned that part. Part of it is her personality though — two other providers I work with are from the same area and neither one has or would say anything quite like that.

temmetime

@echo-charlietango you just described my MIL perfectly and I don't know if I knew that was what bothered me so much, but now that you say it as well as you did, damn. It's so hard to have a good relationship with someone who is constantly projecting their own ways and advice on you. Hugs

katy0990

@echo-charlietango Ditto What @temmetime said. You articulated one of my biggest complaints about my mom very well. I understand your frustration.