3rd trimester check-in | week of 8/13

hottietoddy · August 2018

Hi all, I know everyone is very busy and many getting close to having babies this week! So thought I'd start the thread as this is my last week pregnant!

This is a weekly check in for the mamas who have made it to the 3rd trimester!!! If you are in week 28 or past, feel free to join in on the weekly fun.

How far along? EDD?
How is everyone feeling this week?
Any upcoming appointments?
GTKY: What are your plans for vistors once baby is born? Are you having family and friends at the hospital or home? Anyone lined up to bring food, help clean or hold baby for a while for a break?
As always feel free to share pictures of your bump, nurseries, baby gear, and of course those babies when they arrive!

If you're just joining us please post a:

Mini synopsis in your first post with your EDD
How many babies you are pregnant with
If you know the gender(s)
How you have been feeling in your 3rd tri
Any upcoming or recent appointments you may have

Please let us know if you need to be added to the list below:
@Irisheyes81 EDD 8/4 with a little girl - Congratulations!!
@2MomsHoping EDD 8/12 team green
@laurad75 EDD 8/20 with a little boy
@hottietoddie EDD 8/20 with a little boy
@sarcasticowl EDD 8/23 with a little girl
@lablover78 EDD 9/1 with a little boy
@gfgrump EDD 9/6 with a little boy
@sarzee2 EDD 9/10 (inducing early 9/4 or 9/5) team green
@BusinessWife EDD 9/9 team green
@adirat EDD 9/15 with a little boy
@chicandbubbly EDD 10/1 with a little girl
@halfanewt EDD 10/3 team green
@klyn7 EDD 10/6/18 team green
@Dragonfly6191 EDD 10/12 b/g twins!

hottietoddy · August 2018

@Irisheyes81 - so glad to hear how everything went- your post was so beautiful and I cried also. So happy for you and she is so pretty and perfect! You did such a great job and congratulations!

@gfgrump - I have the same exact issue with the braxton hicks on top of stomach issues- it is a real thing. I googled it and many women have a hard time being able to tell the difference! I think it was good you went in, I mean that is what you are SUPPOSED to do. I bet your doctor appreciates you putting in the extra effort to do so. It sounds like you have pretty intense braxton hicks, mine are more mild but I would be at the hospital too if I had them that regularily and intense for sure! Oh well on the husband, I mean he's probably just tired, but that's his job right?! haha

@2MomsHoping - noticed that yesterday was your due date, congratulations on making it full term- that is a huge accomplishment! I know this last week will be hard but it's awesome that baby is fully done! Good to hear DW is feeling a little better- I'd be extremely annoyed as well. It's kind of like we are taking so much time and energy to make sure our bodies are healthy, we expect our support person to be careful also to be 100%! That is great you have the doula also and that is a great plan b! I love a plan b.

@lablover78 , @sarcasticowl - any discussions yet on when you guys might deliver? Or are you just sailing right along and so far so good and waiting for natural courses. @lablover78 wasn't your baby on the larger size like our boy? I'm sorry if I'm remembering wrong, but thought a few weeks ago we were both at about the same baby estimated weight.

How far along? EDD? last week pregnant- what!!?? August 20th

How is everyone feeling this week? I've been a mixture of emotions this last week as things are now coming to an end soon. I'm finally feeling excited as well as anxious so that is good. We are SO ready, I think more than ready. I am just cleaning our house obsessively and I don't think there is one more thing I could set up. I think I am definately having some OCD and it is time to stop with the cleaning for a while. I also can't bend over much or walk without it hurting and my ob said to stop if it is uncomfortable so trying to do that. I was sweating profusely and shaking just trying to put away groceries on sunday, so I stopped and sat by the fan, it's just time to rest this week.
Good news- I got paid by clients! Now just $350 outstanding, but the majority is in and that will probably get paid soon as well. Thank god!!
We had our carpet cleaned on saturday and my husband ripped apart the house to get our money's worth. It was VERY stressful to me because the carpet cleaner had an off gas to it.... everything was a mess. But he got it all put back yesterday and the smell is gone after having windows opened. The carpet is very clean and soft and I'm glad now, thank goodness! I have been trying to make the house look cute too because all these people are going to be visiting next week. I was even able to put pictures of my inlaws back in frames (I had taken out in rage not to have to look at them) so when they come visit they are there. My plan is to just ignor any issues his mom has from now on, just set boundaries and say no, but just walk away or leave if gets weird and ask my husband to deal with her. My husband is prepared to stand up to her and set boundaries from now on when she starts in complaining, being pushy or being negative. So that is a good change and what we are focusing on. I have no more tolerance or bit of energy for her crazy, but I'm done letting it affect me from now on (or going to try my best). I can't deal with it anymore and I'm just going into full FAKE mode with them from now on. I have bigger fish to fry and I'm not putting any more energy into. The good news is that now I know that I need to limit information to them, not listen to or be that close to his mom and just try not to be alone with her at all. I might stick to my pared down holiday plan, or I might even just go with the flow 'go along to get along' and just show up and let them do their crazy dance then leave. Really all I'm obligated to do is show up and smile for a few hours then leave. So that is my plan to cope, I may not have any more energy to devote than that, we'll see. But this is my plan with dealing with them this coming week. I am having some revenge thoughts about how when I get pregnant again, I'm not going to tell them at all until I'm very far along and feel like it. OR- I could even just show up pregnant and act like it isn't happening and see how they like it. But two wrongs don't make a right so going to try and set a good example and talk to them about it, but definately waiting longer next time. Definately until after preventative cerclage and maybe around 20-24 weeks when reach viability.
We actually were able to relax a bit this weekend together which is nice. We even made a chicken spaghetti cassarole which is amazing yesterday. Still doing on-going baby proofing and husband plans to work on these projects a bit during his 2 weeks off for paternity leave. Had big melt down on Sunday morning, but we made it through. A few months ago I accidentally ripped the paper towel holder off the cabinet in a fit of pregnancy rage. Well, the time had come to put it back up and my husband and I had to work together to do it. He did not want to, but we finally compromised and he helped me. I'm proud of us for getting through it- it's like our whole relationship came down to that paper towel holder! lol. My depression and anxiety is just really bad and I'm dying to get back onto zoloft. I'm starting to have like a 'burn it all to the ground' attitude including my relationship with my husband, his family, our house, even my family, friends and job, and everything I've worked so hard for. Luckily my husband understands and helped me calm down. But man he can be a really big jerk sometimes. By last night I was 100% good again, so at least it passes! I am glad my ob was ademant that I don't be on meds while pregnant, but I think it has been one of the hardest times of my life as a result. I'm just being honest with myself and him now about how hard it is. Going to watch it after birth too, but also not wanting to be on meds while breast feeding so may be another 6 months. I plan to try and get pregnant again next fall, so that leaves 6 months to be on the zoloft again, which I think I will go ahead and do. Who knows how long I will breastfeed- the plan is get back on the zoloft as soon as breastfeeding is over. The hardest part is I am really isolating myself and now that I'm about to have the baby, I have to see other people again. It is good, because I need to, but it is going to be exhausting. At least I will be actually happy to have the baby and not so scared and anxious like I have been during this whole high risk pregnancy. Thinking back, annoucing we are pregnant, the showers and other social things have been very challening the whole time. From the past I know that this is a sign I am having some depression and anxiety so good to analyze it.
I'm nervous about the surgery tomorrow. I know the cerclage will be fine, the spinal anesthesia is a little scary and hope it doesn't hurt. Just letting myself cry here and there if need to. But I do think it is the best route for sure. I also hate hospitals in general and I'm not a huge fan of the one where it is being done- it isn't my same hospital where will deliver. But the procedure is in labor and delivery so I really hope it is more comfortable than last time. My mom will be with us all day tomorrow and my brother and SIL texted me for a while this morning. They are in italy for a wonderful wedding and trip and were sharing lots of pics and being very supportive, so that really cheered me up.

Any upcoming appointments? Cerclage removal surgery is tomorrow. Check into hopsital sunday evening 8/19 for dilation meds, then induction monday 8/20. Husband is working at home all this week starting tomorrow, just in case I go into labor. But the perinatal doctor thinks it is probably very small chance I will and that we will most likely make it to induction date on sunday.

GTKY: What are your plans for vistors once baby is born? Are you having family and friends at the hospital or home? Anyone lined up to bring food, help clean or hold baby for a while for a break? We plan to have very limited hospital visitors. My mom and husband only while he is being born, then I MIGHT have the inlaws by after at hospital to meet him. If I don't feel like it, just going to wait until we get home, going to see how I feel. Do have a list of about 5 families/friends to bring food by after and think that will be big help. Also plan on grandparents coming by to hold him and help out by watching him at least so I might be able to nap a bit more. I keep reading that it is best to accept help after, so although I have the urge to isolate myself, going to try and let that happen.

As always feel free to share pictures of your bump, nurseries, baby gear, and of course those babies when they arrive! Pretty soon I'll have a baby pic to share next week!! Sharing another prenatal pic again with our dog. I've always said 'our first born just happened to be furry'. Pretty soon we will have our first born child too, amazing! Our dog is having another issue this week- she has a cut on the side of her face and because she is blind she is always bumping into furniture and walls to get around. On sunday we woke up to dog blood smeared all over downstairs- it wasn't too much and stains came out of the furniture, but we were frustrated. We got her bandaged up pretty well, which she doesn't like, but she can make it until wednesday when then vet can see her. It isn't a large cut, she just keeps scratching it and bleeding. I am hoping the steroids aren't making it not heal.

gfgrump · August 2018

Thanks for getting us started @hottietoddy. I'm on mobile with some time to kill before my chiro appt, so apologies in advance for typos.

36w4d-sept 6. Although I feel like I've been duped BC most first pregnancies go to 41 weeks, so really I should be thinking sept 13. Grr.

Feeling OK. Can feel baby in my pelvis and had a lot of GI distress, plus so many braxton hicks that I get woken up in extreme pain. Then I poop and I'm fine. Ha.
DH and I had a really bad fight last night. I think anxiety is just really high right now and this fear around being so close but something happening to the baby is very real. It was defintely one of our worst ever. @hottietoddy I totally get the paper towel rage thing. DH actually punched the door, and it turns out its not wood but fiberglass and it freaking broke. You guys, there's a hole in our bedroom door! I mean omg. He's never done anything like that. I was not about to help him with any of the clean up or getting glass out of his hand BC wtf? I think it was a bit of a wake up and realization that some stuff needs to be dealt with. Anyway, I'm not concerned for my safety or anything but I'd say the timing worked out well that I went back to work today. I just said I need a little space and we haven't communicated all day. Normally we gchat often when I'm at work. Anyway just needed to tell someone and you guys are safe people to tell since you don't know him.
But I will go home and we'll begin to have some real conversations. My biggest issue that he's on me for everything- phone away from belly, don't touch that, you can't eat that, I'm afraid about you walking alone. Like I'm being controlled BC he's anxious about everything. And since the baby is in my body not his, I think its just very scary BC its out of his hands. Its all just exhausting and overwhelming for me. And concerning for how we'll co-parent. Anyway, marriage can be really hard and 4 years of infertility, a loss and finally pregnancy definitely takes its toll. A lot of times I think its brought us closer and other times, like last night, I'm like holy shit.

Appts- had OB today. Was totally fine. Chiro today. Nst wed. Acupuncture Friday.

GTKY- well sadly most of my good friends don't live here and we don't have any family close by. But both set of parents are coming for about a week each- although I can't say that I'm too hopeful that they'll be helpful. My siblings will probably come at some point but its not planned yet. I am making an effort to get more connected to other pregnant moms through some fb groups, putting myself out there a little, so at least I'd have a bit more of a support network. Plus we do have a few people here, including a few work friends.

lablover78 · August 2018

Hi ladies! Thanks @hottietoddy and good luck tomorrow!!

@gfgrump hope you survived your first day back at work. So sorry about the argument but sometimes it does take something drastic like that to start the real conversations rolling. Marriage is this ever evolving r-ship - you tackle something, it’s smooth sailing, then life gives you another challenge etc etc.

37+2 today.
Last wednesday my OB said I will still only at 1cm, but baby had dropped since the week before. Another plus- that cervix check was not nearly as bad as the one the week before!

MFM went over growth scan on Friday and babe is not ask big as we was- measuring a little over 7lbs and 70th percentile. He then said he likes to see everyone induced at 39 weeks which I found so odd- like not me specifically but everyone. I’m not totally against it but will wait for OB’s opinion on Wednesday. Truthfully I was hoping I would go into labor today because I had my last hearing this morning and my next one is 9/18 so it would give me the most time at home with him although now I’m realizing that was silly to assume he would come so early just because I want him too lol!

GTKY- my mom will visit the hospital after baby is born. I’m sure some friends and SIL/BIL will want to but we aren’t setting anything in stone one way or the other. So incredibly grateful my MIL lives across the country! She will be coming for a visit though....

hottietoddy · August 2018

@gfgrump - sorry to hear of the fight, that sucks. You guys are sure going through a lot and stress is cummulative. Especially after 4 years. We've done a lot of therapy and it has made a big difference. We still argue and all couples will, it is actually good to, but we come out the other side with things resolved now. Even just one appointment might help before baby comes. I find it good to each go alone then together ... Don't know if you go to a therapist and sorry for suggesting if you already do. Sometimes picking back up is a good thing too. Hang in there, sending good vibes.

@lablover78 that IS weird that he likes everyone induced ...strange and I'd talk to my OB also. Glad to hear baby is decent size but not too big. I think we are like 85 percentile but we'll see tomorrow. They didn't measure last week. Cross country MIL sounds like heaven! That is awesome for you.

AFM:
I had an ok day, but then had a panic attack tonight when my husband cane home but he helped me calm down and made it through. Even talked to my mom for a while which I haven't in months. I cried for a while but was ok. I just informed her that I'm not going to be a cheerful strong person tomorrow so hope she understands. She 100% gets it and says she's there to help. She'll be there tomorrow with us and should be ok. Got my outfit laid out, bags packed, colace and miralax on hand and schedule with my mom all set. Eating meals at midnight and 2am then have to stop eating 8 hours before ... I think that is one of the worst parts for me. I worry my blood sugar will get too low tomorrow. Going to be with doctors all day so I'll just keep testing and speak up. Stress can make it go up so I just did my normal insulin amount and hoping won't be too uncomfortable tomorrow.

gfgrump · August 2018

@hottietoddy gl today! I'll be thinking about you. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you think. I know any medical procedure is stressful but try to remember this is pretty routine for the doctors. You got this!

[Deleted User] · August 2018

@hottietoddy. Yay! Today is baby day! You are going to rock it, and no matter what hiccups may be along the way, (or none!), you will get to hold your sweet squish at the end of it all... ❤❤❤

laurad75 · August 2018

Thanks for getting us started this week @hottietoddy and GL today. I hope it all goes smoothly.

How far along? EDD? 39+1 today 8/20 - final countdown! Unfortunately I don't feel like this baby is in any hurry to move out.
How is everyone feeling this week? Appropriately uncomfortable and super anxious
Any upcoming appointments? I have a measuring us this morning followed by my weekly check up with the OB. My guess is that assuming everything is okay today we will make a plan for next week.
GTKY: What are your plans for vistors once baby is born? Are you having family and friends at the hospital or home? Anyone lined up to bring food, help clean or hold baby for a while for a break? My parents will come up when I go into labor to meet him right away and we have a lot of friends who will likely want to visit. My IL's are a crap shoot. I assume my MIL will want to come up but she will assume she can stay at our place and I would prefer she does not. H hasn't spoken to his family at all about a 'meet the baby' plan and knowing them they will expect us to bring the baby to them as soon as possible because they are selfish and annoying.

A week or so after the baby is born my mom has offered to come stay with us for a couple of weeks to help out and help me get some sleep.

I'll be back with an update after my appt this morning.

chicandbubbly · August 2018

I hope everything goes well for you today @hottietoddy! So close @laurad75, hang in there!

How far along? EDD? 33 weeks
How is everyone feeling this week? Getting a bit more uncomfortable but hanging in there! We made great progress on the nursery last week and I am feeling good about getting stuff done. I feel every week is just flying by. My birthday is the end of the week and DH's is 6 days after mine so I am excited about celebrating!
Any upcoming appointments? I have a regular OB appt on Friday!
GTKY: What are your plans for vistors once baby is born? Are you having family and friends at the hospital or home? Anyone lined up to bring food, help clean or hold baby for a while for a break? Oh goodness- this is the part that is somewhat stressing me out because last time I was induced so I was able to plan all of this out beforehand! My concern is that my labor was a short 3 hours the first time so if my water breaks at home it could be even quicker (although who knows!).. my DH works 30 mins away from home and the hospital is 30 mins from our house so that should be interesting! Depending on when it happens my parents or IL's will also have to come and get my son. With my son we kept visitors to family- my parents, brother, sister and her fiance, and my MIL, FIL, sister in law and her fiance... this time it will probably be pretty similar along with of course my DS! Friends came to visit once we had settled in at home. My Mom and MIL were very helpful last time so I am expecting they will again and I am pretty sure my friends will be bringing by some meals.
As always feel free to share pictures of your bump, nurseries, baby gear, and of course those babies when they arrive! (A few pics of nursery and bump in the spoiler!)

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/b4/eiwhs98h2epj.png

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/um/ppt5bq9kplbc.png

hottietoddy · August 2018

OMG you guys, update: I am back home in bed right now! I went to perinatal appointment and the 4 doctors all decided that they should just wait and take out the cerclage on Sunday instead before I get induced! So they just sent me home and I don't have to do it today! I'm in disbelief and had a good talk with all 4 of them to make sure it was the right decision. But instead of having to get the spinal today and be at hospital all day, I got to go home and out to breakfast with my husband!!! I am literally in disbelief and so happy....haha! Can't go any better in my book than not having to go through it at all today.

My husband and I were laughing because I was doing double speed out of that building before anyone changed their mind again!! Lol. My husband got to go to work instead of taking day off and he's going to work at the office instead this week. I told him to let them know it could change but if anything does he can work at home. I'll still have cerclage all week, so unless I have symptoms, I most likely won't go into labor.

Baby is 7lbs 15oz today! So he'll probably be 8.5lbs by Sunday I bet. But who knows how accurate it is. They didn't seem worried and they are still glad he's big. Still shooting for vaginal birth...

So when I get checked in to hospital next Sunday, they are just going to give me the epidural then take out the cerclage first. Then they are going to leave the tube in but pause the epidural and give me the cervidil overnight. Then monday they will give me the pictocin to induce and that way I can walk around and once go into early labor and stuff can move around until I'd like epidural again. So I don't have to get spinal just the normal epidural.

So I get to relax this week and stop my progesterone which is awesome. Then Friday have last OB appointment. I don't know that he'll even do the manual cervix check because I'll still have the cerclage, but we'll see. If I get out of that too I won't be sad, hah. Then Sunday we start the baby process!

I was so happy I told the waitress at the breakfast place about how I got out of surgery. She was asking if I could really finish all the food I ordered, being pregnant and all.... I couldn't and she was right, but I got to take it home! Haha. Cheers to getting to eat and drink water today!

I hope these good vibes spill over to everyone else today! Thanks for all the thoughts and reading my long posts.

Ps- I love all the feedback on visiting. I'm telling my husband that I have data now from an online poll

.... interesting how most are not having their in-laws in waiting room like me....or are limiting or nervous about the meet the baby visit. Makes me feel more normal and I'm relaying these results to my husband and telling him I'm taking an online poll! Backs up my hypothesis that it is more common now a days for people to limit visitors more..... PPS- kudos to those with great mother in law's who can visit and help with minimal stress!

halfanewt · August 2018

@hottietoddy that’s awesome news today! Sounds like you have a great plan moving forward, too

@chicandbubbly your nursery is adorable!

@laurad75 hope the appointment goes well this morning! I’m in the same boat with in laws - they’ve mentioned “coming up for awhile” with no indication of when or for how long. Another talk to add to the to-do list, I guess.

How far along? EDD? 32+6, 10/3
How is everyone feeling this week? Still feeling good, though lately this LO has decided my ribcage is the enemy. When I go back to work in a couple weeks, sitting through meetings will be interesting...
Any upcoming appointments? I way over booked tomorrow, but I dislike taking multiple days to do doctor visits, so: dentist, dematologist, regular GP to talk pediatric stuff, standard checkup with midwives. Whew.
GTKY: What are your plans for vistors once baby is born? Are you having family and friends at the hospital or home? Anyone lined up to bring food, help clean or hold baby for a while for a break? Great question. I have no idea. I’m planning on a big fill-the-freezer thing Labor Day weekend, so hopefully won’t need many meals delivered. I wouldn’t mind visitors once LO is here, but really dislike the idea of people in the waiting room. Should probably figure that out soon.
Baby moon bump shot at 32 weeks!

laurad75 · August 2018

Appt Update: It was nice and boring today - my favorite. Ultrasound showed that baby boy is doing great and growing nicely. The measurements have him weighing about 7 lbs 7oz now but who knows how accurate that is. He's at about 40th percentile. I have another appt a week from today and they tentatively scheduled the induction for Thursday 8/23 if I don't naturally go into labor before then. I hope I go before then but its nice to have an end date just in case.

Dragonfly6191 · August 2018

How far along? EDD? 31+ 4How is everyone feeling this week? I really feel pretty ok until the evenings. Then my hips/legs just start to ache particularly if I lay down. Sleeping is the worst, I've tried everything to make the ache go away but nothing helps! Any upcoming appointments? I'm on weekly monitoring at this point due to IUGR- I see MFM for a high-risk scan every Thursday AM and then my doctor after. Baby B's percentile has jumped around from 10th, 12th, then 5th, then 18th, and now most recently 9th so I guess we'll see what Thursday brings. It's so frustrating to not be able to get consistent numbers! GTKY: What are your plans for visitors once baby is born? Are you having family and friends at the hospital or home? Anyone lined up to bring food, help clean or hold baby for a while for a break?This is one I'm still really on the fence about and not sure I have any sort of clarity. Our family is all in Florida, so we always just assumed no one would come for the actual birth which was perfectly fine with us. But a few weeks ago, my MIL mentioned that they wanted to come for the birth if we had enough notice OR they would be here as soon as possible after. I didn't really say anything either way and I still don't know how I feel about it. A) It's very likely our twins will end up in the NICU, in which case that just isn't a good time for extra visitors.

Even if miraculously I carry to term and have perfectly healthy babies, I kind of just wanted it to be just us, you know? Sort of a "we need time to bond with them and adjust to being a family of 4" kind of thing. On the other hand I know that my in-laws would be incredibly respectful and I hate to deprive them of the experience too.
After we go home, both my MIL and Mom have offered to come whenever we want/need help. My Dad also wants to come and bring my Grandmother (she's 96 but in good health really) and he was sort of alluding to wanting to do it pretty soon after the birth. I'm probably crazy for even thinking of turning down any help I can get, but I just sort of feel like I want to just try to do this on our own for the first few months? I was sort of planning in my head for Thanksgiving to maybe be the first time anyone comes to visit or we go to them? I also just feel like having house guests would just add to my stress/exhaustion if I'm being honest!

Dragonfly6191 · August 2018

UGH. I don't know why my posts keep doing THAT ^, anyone have any tips?

gfgrump · August 2018

@hottietoddy how crazy and what great news! Now you can just spend the next couple days relaxing getting ready for Sunday. Sounds awesome. You are cracking me up with the "online poll."
It's funny, bc in the past I didn't really tell DH much about what I was reading on here, but now that we've all been together so long and I'm hearing birth stories and stuff, we do talk about it a lot. It is really nice to have community.

@Dragonfly6191 I'd be impressed if you could keep grandparents at bay that long. But I totally get it bc you will have a lot on your plate. I can't even imagine managing twins, much less family on top of that. Such a hard thing to balance.

@chicandbubbly nursery and bump looking good!

@laurad75 yea for boring appts. The best kind. Glad to know the end is in sight!

@halfanewt gl with all those appts. But nice to get it all done. I know what you mean about the ribcage. Theoretically my baby has dropped bc he's head down and I feel him in my pelvis, so why don't I feel more space by my ribs. Very confusing.

Paging @2MomsHoping we haven't heard from you this week so I'm thinking you went into labor?? Hope all is well!

AFM- back to working 10 hour days is exhausting but kind of nice to use my brain again. 13 days left before my mat leave. Also, I think I have lightning crotch. Is that where you get sharp pains into your vagina? Bc I have that when I walk. Good times.

hottietoddy · August 2018

@gfgrump glad you have distraction but also hope you don't overdo it...maybe take lots of breaks if you can!

Yes @2MomsHoping is usually posting by now and hoping everything is going smoothly...she might have gone into labor and hopefully all is well. Or she could just be busy, exhausted and trying to get through the week. Sending good vibes and thoughts into the internet world for her!

@laurad75 so glad appointment went well and now baby has an eviction date! Haha it's nice knowing an end date in my mind so hopefully you feel the same.

@chicandbubbly nursery is very pretty, good job! It's nice you get along with your mom and MIL too, sounds like it makes things pretty easy for you.

@halfanewt wow that's a lot of appointments in one day. I remember I could maybe do 2-3 a week in second and early third trimester. It's nice to consolidate it one day, I know what you mean

mbradfo2 · August 2018

@chicandbubbly
I love the nursery!

I think the worst part about the 3rd trimester is there is so much hurry up and wait. At least in the 1st and 2nd, you're looking at moving on to the next trimester at a specific date you can look forward to, but you don't know when you're going to hit the finish line in the 3rd! But it is the best finish line ever

sarzee2 · August 2018

Hi everyone!

@hottietoddy your relief about not getting the cerclage out until Sunday was palpable! So glad it all worked out the best way possible! Your earlier post about still going crazy cleaning was inspirational also...DH is going away this weekend so I'm super excited to really deep clean, but I was worried I'd be getting too tired or not have the motivation. Hope your adorable pup's cut is healing okay! It's so sad when our fur babies hurt themselves and there's nothing we can do to make them heal faster.

@gfgrump sorry to hear about the fight with your husband...I agree that just general relationship stuff, plus infertility, plus crazy hormones can really take their toll. A few weeks back DH and I were fighting a lot and it was so upsetting, I felt so alone. I finally had it out with him and told him that I was feeling really overwhelmed and not supported and it's gotten a lot better since. I hope you two were able to make up!

AFM, 36+2, EDD 9/10

I had a really stressful morning of appointments today. Because of my baby's umbilical vein issue, I go for ultrasounds every 2 weeks. The tech was really friendly and was like "let's look at this little chunker" and stuff like that. But then she said it's belly IS really chunky and she was like "what have you been feeding it?!" and then asked if I passed my GD test. I kind of laughed it off, but then the more I thought about it I started to feel really anxious. I've dealt with body dysmorphia and disordered eating for the last 5-6 years and shamefully I have taken a sort of pride in the fact that I haven't gained a lot of weight and people always tell me I'm so small. I have been a little looser with my diet recently because I realized that after the baby comes I'm immediately going to go back to feeling guilty about everything I eat and focusing on my diet and I should at least enjoy being pregnant a little bit.

Then we went to another room for the NST and then kept me hooked up to it for almost an hour because they weren't happy with the readings they were getting. The nurse kept coming back in and telling me to apply really hard pressure to the monitoring device...I was trying but it's hard to press down on anything consistently for that long! Then finally the doctor came and said she wants me to come back in 2 days for more monitoring. She also said the baby weighs 6 lb 15 oz and it's in the 88th percentile! That's what really started me freaking out...all of our measurements thus far have been in the 40-50th percentiles. How could it have gotten so much bigger in only 2 weeks?! So that information, plus what the ultrasound tech said just caused me to totally spiral. I feel so ashamed that I haven't been doing a better job eating healthier, and I don't want to end up with a freaking 11 lb baby. On top of that, my mom told me a couple of weeks ago that she expects me to have a 6.5 lb baby because that's how big her old coworker's daughter's baby was. I don't really care what she thinks, but it's just a conversation I don't want to have immediately after I give birth like "OMG YOUR BABY IS SO FAT"

Sigh...vent over. Thanks for reading, I don't have anyone I can talk about this with in real life!

mbradfo2 · August 2018

@sarzee2
I also come from a history of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, likewise I was very proud of people telling me I'm small -- just as a heads up, the postpartum period can be really rough on your body image! Give yourself some leeway; I'm still working on it myself...I can't go back to eating the way I did before though, I'm realizing that; she needs to have a mom who has energy and can show her that you don't need to be concerned about your looks so much as just being healthy and eating well.

My baby was on the bigger side as well; she was almost 6 lbs when she was born at 35.2 weeks (which everyone remarked at) and gained weight super quickly. Her doctor was like, "she's gaining too quickly! let's cut back on feedings a bit!" which confused me and upset me alot because I really don't want her to go through the body issues I did and people are already labeling her 'big'! It's hard when people do that with you, let alone your child! I still haven't figured out how to deal with it well...it's been very upsetting to me since I think she's absolutely perfect and her dad was a big baby too. I hate how people just look at numbers or size and make comments, no matter how well intentioned they are.

wildrainbow · August 2018

@sarzee2 Ds was born at 35 weeks and was 6lb6oz and 18.5 inches long. I had nurses arguing with me about him being full term and was I sure I delivered when I did, etc. This babe is already Almost 3lbs and I'm 27 weeks. I've only gained 11 total pounds. I've struggled very much with my body image this go round even tho I've gained so little. I'm sorry you are dealing with this stress and I wishi had some amazing words of comfort. All I have is I'm sorry and to remember that u\s weights are notoriously wrong.

sarzee2 · August 2018

@mbradfo2 Thanks so much for the reply...one of my biggest worries about becoming a mom is passing my insecurities on to my children, or them having an awareness of "mom diets" or "mom doesn't eat what we eat". I think it's going to be a work in progress for probably my whole life, but luckily I have a great therapist I've been seeing for 5 years.

I'm still talking about this morning's appointment with DH and I think I'm going to tell them not to tell me the baby's estimated weight from now on. I don't want to keep worrying about something for the next 3 weeks that isn't even an accurate reading. There won't be any way to stop the comments after the baby comes of course, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I was telling him that whenever you have a big baby the only comments anyone ever makes are about 1) what were you feeding it or 2) your poor vagina. He said anyone who says anything he's going to say "yes, it's a blessing that after 3 years of struggling we were able to have such a big healthy baby". My hero

halfanewt · August 2018

@sarzee2 your DH is a rockstar - that’s the perfect response!

persnickity · August 2018

@sarzee2 everyone seems to have some comment one way or another. My daughter is in the 50th percentile for weight and had been since birth. But she doesn't have the baby fat rolls. So everyone is concerned that she's too skinny. Even her daycare teachers are constantly concerned. Perfectly healthy, but it's a challenge to get others to see that sometimes. Try not to let the comments get to you.

sarzee2 · August 2018

@persnickity that's an excellent point! Damned if you do damned if you don't...I have to work on toughening up no matter what the comments end up being!

halfanewt · August 2018

Question about fetal echo test - did you do it? My RE said they recommend talking to your OB about it. my midwives have heard conflicting info about the need. Anyone have other answers/ideas?

2MomsHoping · August 2018

How far along / EDD: 40weeks 3 days

Feeling physically ok. Mentally I’m continually swinging between being a falling apart sobbing mess, angry witch, and resilient superwoman (though she’s not hanging around too much right now).

Visitors: My parents are coming up on Sunday, they will take care of the dog while we are in the hospital and probably stay for a few days once we get home they are pretty helpful so they will probably make sure we are set with laundry, lawn mowed, groceries stuff like that before leaving. All my inlaw family is in town so they will come and go. SIL is helpful…the rest of the crew is pretty much a hinderance, and is more likely to ask for favors…ya know since we aren’t at work right now (eye roll).

Appointments: I had my checkin with the evil OB yesterday. It went even worse than expected. Baby is fine. I am fine, but I have never ever EVER had to deal with a person passing themselves off as a healthcare provider who was such an extreme bully. I’m putting the rant in the spoiler because its long and laced with profanity.

I knew what I was in for with this particular OB, she was the one who saw me when I got really sick and lectured me. So I was not looking forward to going in to discuss my induction with her but I went in prepared with a plan and my post-it note of questions/negotiations...

I forgot the energy she brings into a room the moment she enters its tense and you can just feel her hostility. It’s awful. Here are some of my very legitimate questions and the honest to god answers this sea witch gave me.

I’ve heard many practices wait until 42 weeks to induce, what advantages are there inducing at 41 weeks? The risk of still birth goes up, actually it rises at 38 weeks so 41 is already too long. We already gave you a chance to go into labor and you did do it. Waiting until 41 weeks is already too long. (To unpack this she basically tried to scare me with still birth, shame me for not going into labor, and then tried to claim to be accommodating…wtf).

I’ve heard natural ways of stimulating labor like acupuncture, or nipple stimulation, are these ok to try? The only way besides pitocin is cocaine. (Did she seriously just fucking say that? She did…she said cocaine. Way to ignore my question and then basically reframe it to make it sound like what I was suggesting was on par with taking street drugs.)

So if I don’t go into labor before sunday, and my cervix is still closed will I need to in the night before to do a folly bulb or cervidil? Just show up on Sunday morning and they will tell you what they are doing. But I want to know what to expect? They will explain everything and I’ll be on call sunday so I’ll see you there.

*pause* mentally processing the last thing she said…realizing this horrible human being will not only be carrying out the induction I don’t fucking want but will be the one to take me through it. Will be telling me what is going to happen (yeah I’ve seen her way of explaining things) and bullying me into interventions. The one who is impatient and already annoyed that my body isn’t working and I’m inconveniencing with very normal questions.
I fucking lost it you guys. I went from calm rational careful worded questions to hysterical choking sobs.
I can deal with an induction but I can not deal with this doctor. I do not want her to touch me I do not want my precious baby to come out of the world into this evil, horrid, abusive woman’s hands. The thought makes me physically ill. I said nothing for the rest of the appointment and could barely calm myself down enough to finish the cervical exam while steadily weeping. (no progress, of course so more sobbing with that news).
I called my doula that night who had some good suggestions about trying to get the on call schedule to see when she is off (inductions take a long time if the cervix isn’t ready and she may be off call but the time anything is really going). The office wouldn't release it. I tried calling my regular ob with a vague message about forgetting to ask some questions about induction. The nurse called back late and when I called back 15 minutes later she was gone. They didn’t call me back today and I didn’t call them. I just didn’t want to think about it or deal with it.
I have considered refusing to consent to induction until some random day in the 41 week range, but I worry about consequences of being a high maintenance patient, and not knowing the on call schedule I cant be sure she isn’t back on.
I have considered reporting her to the practice or hospital administration and refusing to be seen by her, but then I worry that even if I’m not being induced I’ll randomly go into labor and there she will be and she will treat me even worse.
I have considered just “not showing up” for my induction appointment, and waiting for them to call me and then playing dumb that I thought it was Monday to buy time. I also know this is crazy behavior.
Here is the thing I think this is all some bullshit. I don’t understand why there is no wiggle in the induction date. I have not been considered risky enough to get an NST, I have no other checkup appointments this week. Yet I’m so high risk that they HAVE to do the induction at exactly 41weeks.
Also I don’t know if I’m crazy but I just don’t feel like the baby is ready. They are happy in there moving all day, I feel good I’m not dying to have this over with I’m not in a rush here. I just feel like we need more time. But then I think maybe I just don’t know what I’m talking about and am just scared of having the baby outside where it’s not protected by me all the time.
DW has researched natural induction methods like its her new job. Yesterday I ate dates, drank tea, had acupuncture, took a walk, did stairs bounced on a ball, and did pressure points. She asks me, “Are you in labor?” at least 15 times. It is driving me crazy and makes me feel broken. I tried to tell her this and she got upset because she was trying to be helpful.
Today will be the same regimen but swapping out the acupuncture for the breast pump.
Oh and I’m still working, and people are still sending me crazy emails and asking crazy questions usually about stuff I have already explained to them or given instructions for in email. Why the fuck is there no paid leave, why the hell am I still working through all of this? And if one more person comments one more version of ohhh it looks like you still have a ways to go I’m going to punch them in the face.
There have also been so many triggering things on Facebook about tragic child losses, and anniversaries of losses, which just makes me feel like there is all this bad juju around me. It’s seriously freaking me out.
I’m trying to do my bubble of peace and it works most times and often I actually get my resilient side all revved up and I feel like I can deal with whatever is coming my way but damn it all just seems to come crashing down several times a day, and I don’t have long to get my shit together to deal with this situation especially being in basically the most vulnerable position of my life and wanting this baby to just be ok after all we have been through to try and get him or her here and if I make the wrong choices and anything happens to this baby I would never be able to forgive myself.
I just want to hide under the covers all day. Is that an option?

Glad everyone is doing more or less well, I did a bit of quick scroll today to catch up. It’s just nice to see everyone and whats going on. It really was a nice part of a really hard day.

@hottietoddy rock socks on avoiding surgery. It really does make a ton of sense to just do it on induction day. Such a nice treat to enjoy a nice breakfast date instead of surgery.

@gfgrump I’m sorry about your fight with hubs. You are so not alone. I have been through fights like that and IF and expectant babies are the stress that definitely can push someone over the edge. I remember DW and I’s worst fight. I wanted to stop treatments and start doing foster care. She refused. I was pissed because I was doing all the work. I got so mad I left slammed the door so hard it bent the soft close mechanism, preceded to drive off and sit in my car not more than 5 blocks away from our house and bought a pack of cigarettes to chain smoke…primarily because I knew DW hates cigarettes and would be mad at me for it (though since I haven’t had more than a drag of a cigarette in like a decade I don’t think I even was able to truly finish one but I held several and watched them burn out on principle). Not my proudest moment. But it passed. We both calmed down and reached a compromise. Fights do happen but what really matters is when you call down and take your break remembering the person you fell in love with and just figuring it out and listening. I hope one day DW and I will be able to skip the fight part and just get to the rational talk….but oh so not there yet.

@laurad75 glad you and baby are doing well. Thursday isn’t far away. This board is going to have a huge baby boom with @hottietodday, you and I probably all in the same week!

@chicandbubbly I really love your nursery! The flowers are so feminine and the whole design has this timeless classic feel to it. It’s beautiful!!!

@dragonfly6191 I totally feel you on wanting the time to bond. I’m sure it is a little scary to have twins that may need a little NICU time before going home and that is the time when help is of the most help from what I have seen at work and friends. It’s good to have a little list on hand so when people ask if they can help (and they will) you have things they can do. Pick up your mail, watch a pet, do your laundry, bring you clothes to the hospital so you can stay with your babes. One of my friend’s had a baby who was in NICU and posted something that had a list of what they needed help with and she said it was so wonderful that everyone went above and beyond. She was worried to reach out for help but it was a totally positive experience for everyone. As a helper it felt good knowing that there was something I could do to help a friend in a hard situation.

hottietoddy · August 2018

@2MomsHoping- now you've got me pissed at this lady, this is some serious BS! This crazy B must have 'partners' that cover her when she isn't on call right? Can you just tell her it's not a good fit and you need someone else? You could then just maybe meet them and schedule this week? At this point seems like even an unknown might work better. Also what is your regular OB up to, can they recommend one of their partners? There are several other doctors around you and plus hospitals have doctors on hand also to cover.

I have had a very similar situation with the sono tech at my regular OB. She is infuriating and I hate her guts. I yelled at her last time and cried the rest of the time too. I'm SO glad I refused to see her after week 20 and I only accidentally saw her that time. I also had a similar situation with a man I call 'old man scary doctor' when my perinatal was on vacation around week 15. I got another stand in doctor a few weeks ago and he was great, so from a statistical standpoint I feel like taking your chances could be a better chance of being happy.

I'm going to be honest, I don't like the thought of you having to put up with her and stressing you out during this already challenging process. And delaying or trying to wiggle out of your due date isn't something you should have to do. Can your wife call and maybe ask about other doctor options? Maybe she can be more diplomatic and calm because she isn't pregnant and pumped with hormones and anxiety. Can she ask the regular OB? If you talk to the regular OB and get a new plan then you can just tell the B it's off and you found someone else. I just think talking to her about someone else in her office may be more infuriating because she might refuse you. I had an endocrinologist do this to me and I wanted to bomb their office. (JK)

If your date changes a day forward or back you will be ok. I think we all know you are a reasonable person and would have understood about the 41 week induction had this B had any compassion and not tried to bully and scared you.

You should definitely report her after this is all done but for now maybe focus on staying as calm as possible and a plan b if you can. My IF doctor dropped me off a cliff and was not supportive once I got pregnant. I was very angry. My therapist recommended I write a letter to them and then not send it. It was a good way to get it out and file it away then move forward. In hindsight and in the future I just headed to my OB for early Sonos which they will do around weeks 4 and 5. So writing the letter helped move forward with a solution and just stop talking to them and beating my head against a wall. I was just getting more and more angry they weren't giving me the care I need.

Sorry for rant- this pissed me off! I think because I'm literally like right there with you on this induction timing so I really can see how frustrating this could be. I hope this post is at least organized enough to read. LOL I will say a prayer that this works out ok for you. Even if you have to be with her I really hope she is better for you.

On the plus side- VERY glad to hear physically you and baby are ok! Keep it up with your natural induction methods and you do you! I know not everyone believes in god (my husband is atheist) but my mom says ''do your best and let God do the rest'. There is a path that is most likely positive set for you and focusing on the positive will help keep you calmer and I believe help things go well. You might also consider pumping the breaks on the Facebook stuff this week. I've had to do that whole pregnancy and stay focused on the positive. Sorry this B knocked you off your game, but we all know here you are that strong superwoman inside! Only a few more days now!

laurad75 · August 2018

@halfanewt We did a fetal echo test at 19 weeks after the anatomy scan found he had a MCDK (multi cystic dysplastic kidney). If they see anything concerning in the AS they automatically schedule the echo. I found it comforting to see his heart beating so strong after a tough ultrasound but I don’t know that its necessary if there are no other concerns.

@2momshoping I’m so sorry about the bitch OB and her comment about cocaine is so inappropriate and insensitive. I am only high risk because of my age but my OB felt very strongly that we schedule an induction at 40.5 weeks because of the risks. I think you should be open to it and if you have to deliver with this awful person remember that you have your DW and doula to advocate for you and keep her in line. @hottietoddy gave some great suggestions about having DW call and reschedule with the regular OB.

mayflower513 · August 2018

Lurking**

@halfanewt I have a fetal echo scheduled for 22 weeks, my AS is at 19. They didn’t really give me an option just said they do it with IVF pregnancies.

Holls214 · August 2018

@2MomsHoping so sorry you have to deal with that!! What a lunatic. When I had Bryson the OB on call barely did anything and it was the nurses and the midwife who were in the room with me the whole time. The OB was just there for the pushing part and to check on me. Hopefully you will have some great nurses and midwife and she will stay away... thinking about you!

mbradfo2 · August 2018

We did not do a fetal echo; our RE and OB both agreed that the research suggesting that cardiac issues are more common in IVF pregnancies is a little outdated and more recent studies using modern population data have found little to no difference between IVF/natural when it comes to rate of cardiac issues. If something had come up on the A/S, obviously, it would have been done - but all looked normal and baby is perfectly healthy.

@2MomsHoping
ugh, that's the worst. I can't believe she's going to be your doctor! But the nurses and midwives do most of the stuff with you and will discuss interventions and such, so hopefully she won't be a bully.

sarzee2 · August 2018

@2MomsHoping My blood is boiling hearing about that c u next tuesday OB! I can't even believe it. What was her reaction to you literally sobbing as she was doing the cervix check?! Was DW there? Ugh I'm so angry for you. I don't know the staffing situation with your regular OB, doula, etc. but even if you do have to get induced the day she's on call, can't you literally just refuse her treatment?

persnickity · August 2018

@2MomsHoping that dr is insane. How in the world are they still employed?? First of all, if 38 weeks is the "cut off", why not induce everyone then for normal delivery? Why let people go to the full 40? Just insane. That said, the placenta starts to decline but they can do NSTs, check fluid levels with ultrasounds, and monitor any potential issues. Plus comparing to cocaine!! OMG. If you feel comfortable, you should report them.

halfanewt · August 2018

Thanks, all! It’s nice to hear the echo isn’t super critical if the AS was clear.

@2MomsHoping just wow. That doc was totally out of line. I hope you’re able to get someone else

2MomsHoping · August 2018

Thank you for the love everyone. I’m doing ok. I actually got myself a bit freaked out today and wasn’t feeling the baby move and ended up going for an nst where of course the baby started instantly moving all over. So I was a little embarrassed but it helped me put everything in perspective. My labor plan is having a healthy baby. The process is just details. IF I have a csection I can deal, and if the drugs cause too much discomfort to manage I can get an epidural. In an odd twist the evil ob was the one that read my nst but I have a lovely and caring nurse who just relayed everything and I didn’t even have to see her. I’m hoping that will be the same for induction day. DW and my doula all have my back so I have a really great team of support.

As as far as the doctor is concerned I will be sending feedback to the practice after delivery. I don’t want it to get back to her and make the situation worse but do want to bring it up because I hate for her to be scaring other people.

I really dont think she realized i was sobbing because she was on call. I think she probably thought I was just upset/scared about being induced. At least I hope that’s what she thought.

I told my boss I’m not coming in tomorrow. So I’m officially on leave which has lightened the weight off my shoulders as well. I teased DW that the baby probably isn’t coming because they are upset at the state of their dresser drawers...lol so that is my new calming/therapy/natural induction plan that at maybe a pedicure tomorrow.

gfgrump · August 2018

Ugh. That is just unbelievable @2MomsHoping. After all you've been through for you to not be feeling positive and calm about the birth before is just so sucky. Like others said, I've heard you barely see the ob during labor, so hopefully it will be fine. And yeah, with my nst I've never seen a Dr. Only the nurses.
Also, be kind to yourself with the anxiety. I also started to freak out today like there wasn't movement and now he's moving a lot. Sometimes they're just sleeping, but how are we supposed to know that?

@halfanewt we also declined the echo. The genetic counselor seemed to think all ivf pregnancies should do it, but my mfm said that they get a pretty good picture of the heart on the AS and if nothing looked off, it wasn't really necessary. Also, they seemed to be saying that it might give us info but most likely we wouldn't do anything different until after the birth, so it seemed unnecessary to just learn things. But plenty of people do them and that's totally cool too.

hottietoddy · August 2018

@2MomsHoping- happy maternity leave!! I'm officially starting tomorrow as well....I hope you have a nice day and get to relax or re-organize those baby clothes as many times as your heart desires! ♥️

lickastick · August 2018

Lurking @2MomsHoping Ygpm

hottietoddy · August 2018

Random questions guys- from anxious/excited planner mommy...

I have a good friend who is older and smokes and has a bad chronic cough. I'd like her to be able to see baby and bring over food but worry about these issues. I already plan to have everyone wash hands and put on hand sanitizer, but I worry she's going to cough on him. Do I just delay her visit for a couple weeks or can she come at all? What do I do?

I plan to let grandparents hold the baby but trying to limit others and touching. Going to say to everyone try and limit direct skin touching and no kisses.

Also my plan is to let my husband have some time alone with his parents and the baby so I don't have to deal with the drama and emotions. Is this even possible? Dumb question but like will there be 30 mins to an hour I won't have to feed hold or change him on day 2 or 3?

mbradfo2 · August 2018

@hottietoddy
I would personally wait a bit if she does have a chronic cough or allow her to see baby but not hold him/her. You don't know what minor viruses she might be carrying that are nothing for adults but rough on a baby whose immune system is just starting to work. You can just say the doctor says to limit others holding baby until they are 4 - 6 weeks old (just like you limit baby's public exposures during early life as well). I think that should be understandable.

As for family holding baby, as long as it's not excessive I think it's okay (even more okay if they've gotten their whooping cough shot!). Just practice good handwashing.

Are you going to BF or bottle? There is time "free" during the newborn early days but it's effected by your mode of feeding -- BF babies often feed at shorter intervals than bottle fed babies (2-3 hrs vs 3-4 hrs). The BFing ladies can probably chime in since I don't know what you can do in terms of pumping or bottling breastmilk that early so you can get away a bit easier since dad can do some of the feedings. Bottle fed babies should be no problem leaving her alone with dad for awhile! I did when I went to my postpartum checks. (You'll probably just want to sleep though...)

chicandbubbly · August 2018

@hottietoddy if you plan on breastfeeding you could definitely just feed baby and then give them some time alone while you take some time for you! Typically you will be feeding every 2-3 hours and sometimes more often in the beginning to establish your supply, so I wouldn't go too far. But you definitely can be away from baby for an hour! You should definitely take time to nap, shower and relax a bit.

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