Baby Name Thread - Take Two

DLpanda08 · July 2018

@Kabazaba I know my situation is a bit different than yours, but before we finalized our adoption my kids had different last names and it was hard for them. They got a lot of questions about why they didn’t have the same last name as their sibling/parents. Although they are biologically related, they had different last names than eachother and different from DH and I. When given the choice, they specifically asked for us to all have the same last name. We struggled with the school asking for a lot of extra documentation even though I worked at their school and everywhere else was a pain in the butt too. Not to mention the insurance headache.

None of that may apply for your family since you are giving birth to the child, but I know our insurance was a beast about us having different last names. It all seemed to go away as soon as the names were changed.

tosh24 · July 2018

@Kabazaba I kept my maiden name and have a different last name than the kids and DH (kids have his last name). It's not really caused any major issues. I think if my kids had different last names from each other and from us it would be a huge PITA, though. In school, half the forms that come home are for the family and all kids in the household go on one form and get returned only with the eldest child. Things like hot lunch orders, yearbook orders, parent teacher interviews, etc. Each family is categorized by last name. So I can only imagine the confusion/chaos if my kids had different last names and all the lost orders that would occur. Might not be a huge issue once the school gets used to it, but you'd likely have to notify their teachers every year and the office administeation since there's so much turnover. May also be a PITA if you intend to travel a lot. I already get the 3rd degree from customs when traveling outside of Canada with my kids, even if DH is present. They treat me like my kids aren't mine and need extra proof. Since my kids have gotten older and can answer questions, customs officials will grill them about me to make sure I'm actually their mother. It's time consuming and annoying but I can deal since we don't travel internationally too often. I can not imagine how much worse it would be if every member of the family had different last names. Also there would just be small little things to consider and decide if correcting people or having to answer questions all the time would eventually get on your nerves (like ppl asking if the kids are biologically yours, how would people address the family on invites, etc.). If this kind of stuff wouldn't bother you, then name your kids whatever you'd like!

Kabazaba · July 2018

Thanks for the input! I especially appreciate hearing about how kids feel about the different last name as they get older - I totally get that it can feel confusing or make you feel like you stick out in a bad way, and I wouldn't want to put my kid through that. Definitely a reason to consider just giving them my or DH's name (or a hyphen).

skilouise · July 2018

@Kabazaba Are either of the maiden names ones that could be used as a first name? That could honor the families, but still allow for last name continuity. That's actually what I thought you meant until I read the replies and your response.

You may also want to consider researching the naming laws in your state/ country to see if giving a different last name is even legal. I always thought that the last name had to be the same as at least one of the parents (or a hyphen of both).

achays11 · July 2018

@kabazaba I took my mom’s maiden name as my middle name when MH and I got married. (My parents got divorced when I was really young and I always wanted to change to her last name, but it was a stipulation in the divorce that my sister and I wouldn’t change our names.) MH and I have given both of our girls my mom’s maiden name as a second middle name. She has an ethnic last name and since our last name is very Caucasian we felt it will help them later for scholarship purposes. Maybe this is a an option to honor the moms.

skilouise · July 2018

Potterphile said:

@AshVA the nickname is Kit so ... probably not lol but fair suggestion. Doubt my husband would go for the name or nickname anyways. He won’t even get serious about it until we get to the end if it’s anything like last time. Annoying because I’d like to ... you know...PLAN.

I'm guessing your DH is Christopher, then? I like the nn Kit. It reminds me of one of the main characters from the Diane Duane So You Want to be a Wizard? series that I loved growing up.

Although Kit does traditionally come from Christopher, I think you could make it work with other names. What do you think of Beckett? Also, if you Google "Kit nickname," there are a few Nameberry and reddit threads with tons of other non - Christopher name suggestions to use with the nn Kit (some better than others lol).

nononorman · July 2018

@ashva I’ll check nameberry! My husband is anti-anything that sounds too waspy and pretentious (this includes most names that are traditionally surnames) ... while I like Beckett, he’s going to say it’s out.

@kabazaba personally I would do both as middle names if you feel strongly. We’ve considered using my maiden name as a middle for a child so I can see just tacking another on. Generally I’m in the boat of “conform to societal naming conventions” so I wouldn’t do all diff last names but it’s a way to still include it and honor them. Sometimes being different is fun, sometimes being different is just different. And different has to get explained. Or assumptions are made about things that are different. It might not matter to you but it’s hard to say what will matter to the kid. I’m boring so I play it safe.

Mandamay1414 · July 2018

Since we are 95% sure we are having a boy now, I've started entertaining some names. We are a mixed race family (I am white, DH is Chinese). I love what we did with my DD's name (Lily Mei). My great grandmother, grandmother, mom, and my middle names are all May, so I knew I wanted her's to be some variation of "May" as well. I love that we were able to use the Chinese form (which means beautiful) and still have it sound like my middle name. I would love to do something similar with baby bro's name and give him a Chinese middle name. DH wants to use one of his Chinese names (Wen Rui-- pronounced "when ray") which I'm fine with, but he is leaning towards Wen.. I think this doesn't flow well with most of the first names I like.. Rui sounds much better and I'm hoping I can convince him to go with that one. I also really like Li for a middle name, but I'm going to defer to DH as much as I can for the Chinese name since that is his heritage. Boy first names are really hard. I tend to like more conventional boy names rather than modern ones. The exception is Connor, lol. My close friend just had a baby named Conrad, though, so Connor might be too close and be weird.

Nathaniel Wen.. Nathaniel Rui
Alexander Wen.. Alexander Rui
Connor Wen.. Connor Rui
Christopher Wen.. Christopher Rui

BitterBetty12 · July 2018

@Mandamay1414 I actually think most of those names sound great with Wen as the middle name! That being said I know adding the last name in can really change the overall sound of the name and make it less desirable. Those are all great names though. I think Nathaniel Wen or Rui is gorgeous.

Mandamay1414 · July 2018

@BitterBetty12 thanks! And it's mostly the last name that makes the whole string of names sound weird with Wen as the middle name, but I'm not ready to share that much personal info yet, lol.

BitterBetty12 · July 2018

@Mandamay1414 oh yeah definitely not time for that yet lol. And if / when it’s time, here wouldn’t be the place! But I had a feeling it was probably the last name that did it since I thought the names overall sounded really nice!

sweetyjenj · July 2018

We're having a boy, and boy names are SO HARD for some reason!! Our names from last time (ended up being a girl) were Jackson Palmer or Camden Michael (my deceased father's name was Michael Palmer, so I want to use a part of his name) but now DH doesn't like Jackson because he thinks it's TRENDY and doesn't like Camden anymore. I reminded him that Jaxon is trendy, Jackson is not, but he doesn't want it.

I've gone through literally over a thousand boy names and none really stand out. I'm hoping someday one will just sink in.

Mandamay1414 · July 2018

sweetyjenj said:

We're having a boy, and boy names are SO HARD for some reason!!

Agreed! I feel like I can think of a million girls names I like (Juliet was at the top of my list if we had another girl), but boy names are hard. For whatever reason, I feel like there are just less boy names to choose from. But maybe I'm not really creative enough to come up with lots of options, lol.

@sweetyjenj , I like the name Michael. I know you were considering that for a middle name, but I'm just picturing little Mikey running around..

And Michael is formal enough for a professional career if that's where he ends up.

LCRbelle · July 2018

@sweetyjenj
It’s funny because last time we had a boy and I felt like boy names were so hard and loved so many girl names but this time it’s a girl and all I can think about is boy names! Lol I think for me and my DH it’s just hard to actually commit to a name. I still love our girl name from last time but just not sure about actually using it!
I’m all into family names and honoring them so I like the idea of y’all using Michael in some way!

LCRbelle · July 2018

So here is my name dilemma I’ve always had this rule that I didn’t want to use a name in the top 100 most popular names. Found out Saturday that we are having a girl and ever since then my DH and I have both had a name stuck in our heads that we love BUT it was in the top 20’s for 2017 and could be even higher for 2018! I was talking with my sister about this and she told me that someone from my hometown is pregnant and naming her little girl that! Should we just forget it and move on? Or say screw the rules and go with the name we love? Other than that my DH and I have not found anything we both like! I’m just insanely picky. Haha

dragonette505 · July 2018

LCRbelle I say go with the name you love!

dragonette505 · July 2018

We finally started talking names this weekend.... If we were having a boy it would be sooooo easy. I have great names in my family, and my husbands family has gorgeous mens names... in fact its a tradition in their family for the men to take some form of the family names (they are all Scottish place names from the towns the family is from) so all of them have these lovely noble sounding names
Turns out we are having a girl
I have some tentative ideas but they all sound like shit to me at the moment (who knows why) and my husband asked if he gets to pick one name (first or middle) and i said no!
lol
I said he can have input, but since if it had been a boy, most likely he would've gotten to decide, i want to decide the girl names (plus his girl family names are shitty tbh like libba on the scottish side (or even worse german names )
so i get the feeling this will be tricky lol
He did have one decent (ish) idea
His dad's name was Berkeley (he passed a few years ago) and he thought it might make a swell girls name.
He's not totally wrong.. i can kinda see that. But he has a cousin who also didn't have any boys (she tried!) and named one of her poor daughters Douglass (after her father Douglas) in order to be in with the family tradition. Ive always hated that.... now i feel id be doing something similar?

saltedcaramel518 · July 2018

@LCRbelle I used to be anti-popular names, but I read this somewhere, and it made me feel a bit better (and I don’t remember where I read it.. So nothing to back it up).

Back when Tiffany/Jennifer/Lauren names were popular, the names were super saturated. Now, parents are giving their children more unique names, so the top names on the popular list aren’t as popular as, say, Jennifer was in 1985.

emmaaa · July 2018

It's also weird having a "popular" name now but that name wasn't common when I was named. I'm 27 and when I was born, Emma was not common at all. In fact, I can count one or two other Emmas I've ever met that were my age. I've met Emmas in their 80's and obviously, now, there are tons of littler girl Emmas everywhere. I will be in a grocery store and hear a mom yell for their daughter, Emma, and I still instinctively turn my head lol

LCRbelle · July 2018

@saltedcaramel518
That does help! My name is Laura and I went to a small school and there were three of us in my grade! Wanting to avoid that. Lol

BitterBetty12 · July 2018

@LCRbelle +1 to hearing the popular name difference between now and 20+ years ago. It really does make a difference. DH and I had our girls name for DD picked out for literally our entire relationship, and when I got pregnant it was at a point where it was definitely becoming more trendy. But I still have not met any other little girls with her name.

tosh24 · July 2018

@LCRbelle My DS has a super popular name (like top 5) and I had NO IDEA when we named him because even though it's popular overall, it must not be popular in my area. Apparently it had ben on the top 5 list for like a decade but we had never come across another little biy with the name. Even now, he's 7 and the only time we have run into another kid with the same name is a little boy who transferred to the same scho and is a grade nehind him. So, just because it's popular doesn't mean there will be 10 of them in the same grade like it was with Ashleys, Jennifers, and Michaels back in the day. I say use the name you love.

FWIW, my close friend had a baby girl in April and she used our top girl name from DS' list which is still a contender for us. It doesn't bother me and I'm still consideting using it if I have a girl. And our kids will be in the same grade at the same school (if I have a Dec baby).

tosh24 · July 2018

Ugh, holy typos....sorry, I'm on mobile. Too lazy to go back and change them all....

CEBB11 · July 2018

Listen to this dumb deal I made with my husband after too many vodka tonics years ago - we agreed to work together on the names of the first boy and first girl, but if we had two boys, he has the rights to name the second boy and if we have two girls, I have the rights to name the second girl. My first was a boy, and now I'm terrified of what husband will come up with if this one is another boy. His current favorite (which has been a threat for years) is Charlemagne. I can't tell if he is serious or not, but I think he is.

achays11 · July 2018

@LCRbelle I grew up with a super popular name, always one in my class or on my team. I vowed to never give my kids super popular names. And now both of my girls have top 20 names. But we have never come across another one their age. I say go with the name that you want.

molosmiles · July 2018

@CEBB11 OMG I hope it's a joke. My SO started with a Jr. As a joke and now he's serious. We fight about it almost every day. He's taking it personally that I don't want a Jr. I really hope your DH doesn't do the same!

nononorman · July 2018

@LCRbelle I think it would matter to me how trendy the name was and not necessarily how popular. Like how if I hear someone is named Donna I know she was born in the 60s, or a Brittany was born in 1985-1993. If it’s classic and just happens to be up there right now, I’d be okay w that. I was the same w “no top 100 names” but my girl was like #30ish and #13 in our state. We haven’t seen another one and everyone thinks it’s a great classic name- Nora.

I always thought girl names were easier because you seem to have a bit more flexibility on creativity whereas I feel like my boy name needs to be more “solid”... or traditional..? Probably sexist but there seem to be hundreds of good girl names that no one would bat an eye at in terms of being too informal or too unique but less boy names. Boo.

LCRbelle · July 2018

@Potterphile haha that’s so funny because guess what the name is? Nora! Although we are thinking of spelling it Norah it seems to look better with all of our names. I agree on the popular vs trendy thing for sure! I don’t think that Norah is trendy. How do you see how popular a name is in your state?

nononorman · July 2018

@LCRbelle https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/state/

we get a ton of compliments on the name. I also wanted to spell it Norah but my husband said that would be just trying to be different. I’ll tell you everyone we say the name to either assumes it’s Nora or they ask. No one assumes it will be Norah. Everyone always says what an old classic name. I like that it’s a “normal” solid name but not common.

sparkymcgeee · July 2018

Name popularity article https://mentalfloss.com/article/65585/watch-how-baby-name-popularity-changes-over-time

this one is better.

sweetyjenj · July 2018

@Mandamay1414 I like Michael, too! My younger brother is a Jr, though, and while I'm sure that no one in my family would care and would probably think it's sweet, it would feel weird having a baby Michael having a living sibling with the name. But we're certainly using it

sparkymcgeee · July 2018

Also, our girl name is Elinor and we plan on the nickname Nora. At least we all live far away from each other.

LCRbelle · July 2018

@Potterphile thanks! Apparently it’s number 13 in my state and Norah is number 80!

@sparkymcgeee haha! And thanks for the article. Very interesting!

CEBB11 · July 2018

@molosmiles fingers crossed! Here's hoping you win the Jr fight. My DH is A Jr but he insists on going by "the II" versus Jr. I was terrified he would insist on keeping the cycle, so I feel your pain!!!

jandd2014 · July 2018

I've been thinking about names for girls and boys since we don't know what we are having and may not find out this time.
I like Graham for a boy, but then both of my kids would have the same initials (GG) and I don't know if I want to do that. Would that set me up for having to name any future kids a name that also starts with a G?
This baby could be another girl and then I'm worrying about this for nothing, since I don't have another G girl name on the short list right now. lol

pttomato · July 2018

Potterphile said:

I always thought girl names were easier because you seem to have a bit more flexibility on creativity whereas I feel like my boy name needs to be more “solid”... or traditional..? Probably sexist but there seem to be hundreds of good girl names that no one would bat an eye at in terms of being too informal or too unique but less boy names. Boo.

I feel like this too, plus boy names keep becoming girl names reducing the options.

DLpanda08 · July 2018

@LCRbelle my middle name is Nora! It’s my mom’s name and a great grandmother... absolutely gorgeous IMO. It was on our short list. Definitely a classic name having a spotlight moment, but nothing like the Jessica or Jennifer craze of the 80s.

I think we finally decided on a name! We have been referring to baby by the first name all week and it seems right. Her name will be Philomena Helen.

LCRbelle · July 2018

@jandd2014 My DS is named Graham. I love his name so much! I think if you had another child and didn’t go with a G name that would be fine. But I understand your concern! My DH and step daughter both have C names and when I was pregnant with my DS one of my rules was no C names! I’m learning to go with the name you love and not worry about the “rules.”

@DLpanda08 Philomena is a beautiful name! That’s kind of why I’m thinking I’ll forgo my rule because the name Norah just seems right. I haven’t done it out loud but I’ve caught myself already thinking of her with that name when I’m thinking about the future.

ladystout08 · July 2018

pttomato said:

Potterphile said:

I always thought girl names were easier because you seem to have a bit more flexibility on creativity whereas I feel like my boy name needs to be more “solid”... or traditional..? Probably sexist but there seem to be hundreds of good girl names that no one would bat an eye at in terms of being too informal or too unique but less boy names. Boo.

I feel like this too, plus boy names keep becoming girl names reducing the options.

Agreed. Naming our son was such a battle.

BitterBetty12 · July 2018

I’m on team GIRL NAMES ARE SO HARD. DH and I liked one girl name. And we used it for DD. We have two solid boy names we love. But we’re struggling for DD2 so hard. So far we only have 2 names on the ‘possible’ list.

Keira
Raegan

And we’re not sold on either. And have no middle name options yet.

I literally read a list of 1,000 names yesterday and just couldn’t commit to liking anything.

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