December 2018 Moms

Weekly Bitch-o-Rama • 7.23

2

Re: Weekly Bitch-o-Rama • 7.23

  • edited July 2018
    @AdorkablePixie I'm sorry about the childcare fiasco. Is there a church nearby that runs a childcare program?  That might be a cheaper option, and could give you peace of mind since you would somewhat know the people running it.

    Daycare is ridiculously expensive. SO and I have agreed I'll work until I can't anymore (I anticipate stopping around 8 months, so probably just before Thanksgiving). Then once baby comes I'll stay home for probably 3-5 years, which seems like SOOO long.  But honestly, we wouldn't be able to afford daycare or even preschool, since that's not covered by the state.  Public school doesn't start until 5 years, and my baby will basically need to be 6 to be accepted because of birthday cutoffs!  (Children need to be 5 by Oct of the year they start kindergarten, so naturally my baby misses the cutoff by 2 months). My salary would only just barely cover the cost of daycare.  Never mind I'd we end up having more than one!  I'd rather just raise my own child(ren) if that's the case.   I make a decent amount, too.  Crazy how much daycares charge!!!  

    Besides the astronomical prices of daycare, my bitch is that yesterday while running a group, one of the clients was acting very bizarre (laughing uncontrollably, sudden changes in affect, acting feverish). She mentioned that she had vomited the day before, and said she felt like she might vomit again.  She was escorted out of the group and we talked with mom.  Apparently she IS sick, probably with the FLU.  But mom says she thought she was "faking it".  Mom confirmed she did have a fever and threw up less than 11 hours prior to our group.  How does a 5 year old fake vomiting and a fever????  And WHY would you bring your child to therapy if they were displaying symptoms of the flu less than 24 hours prior???  She was getting nothing out of it and she put all the other (medically fragile!) children at risk.  Not to mention me and my unborn baby!  Ugh!  PLEASE keep your vomiting and feverish children HOME 
     so you don't put others with weakened immune systems at risk!  I know others have bitched about similar issues before.  
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  • @AdorkablePixie It's good that she's getting to work on herself if she needs it... but I just want to commiserate with you on childcare costs! I've been researching and they are SOOOO expensive in the Northwest! Like half my salary and I definitely make decent money! 

    My bitch for the day is that I made scones this weekend and they took like two hours to make. I had hoped to have them for breakfasts for at least a few days.... well, cue to me waking up this morning (after being up half the night coughing because of a stupid head cold), being tired, sick, and hungry.... and they're all gone. I guess hubby and the roomie ate the rest of them last night? I bawled in the kitchen when I figured this out. Yay hormones. But now I'm pretty happy with my bagel and cream cheese and orange juice from the store... Lol.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @scaredunprepared Ive been curious what your job is because you’ve mentioned it being dangerous, and then I thought you said an OT. I’m just being curious and am fine if you tell me to mind my own business or you arent comfortable with that much identification online I get that too.
  • @scaredunprepared thanks for sharing that. Now your comments make perfect sense. I’m a nurse and was trying to think of a dangerous ot position. I would have never thought about the experience with horse supported therapy. How cool! Thanks for telling me. Sorry I was being nosey! 
  • @AdorkablePixie Oh there is nothing more stressful than child care issues! I'm so sorry your MIL is feeling unwell and that you are having to look for care for your toddler and the new baby on the way. Sending you lots of good luck vibes finding a place or a nanny you can afford and feel comfortable with. I know I thought we would never find a daycare we trusted and could afford but we finally did after tons of hunting. I hope it works out the same for you. My best tip was tell *everyone you know* that you're looking - your friends, family, mom's groups, post on Facebook - we never would have found either of the places we used/use without recs from friends and friends of friends. Good luck!!!
  • @Activebaby no worries!  Happy to get to know my fellow mamas-to-be!  My sister is a nurse, and she worked until 2 weeks before giving birth.  I give her (and you!) major props. What kind of nursing do you do?

    I did my fieldwork in 2 other situations in which I feel it might be dangerous to be an OT (or any professional):  mental health psych hospital with the legal cases or other highly volatile population, and a rehab hospital with the TBI clients.  Not only because of the heavy lifting once they are first admitted, but once they begin recovering and become agitated/aggressive.
  • @scaredunprepared That's super interesting about your job! But definitely a warranted BF that your client's mom thought she was faking the flu. Sigh. Hopefully nothing comes of it.
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • Nothing makes me happier than when someone who has a low-priority issue emails me once for an ETA on something, then follows up 48 hours later because I didn't have time to respond to the first email, then, less than an hour after that email, calls my freaking boss instead of, I don't know, picking up the phone and reaching out to me. My boss who has, for the record, been documenting literally every conversation she's had with me since I turned up pregnant because she is suddenly dissatisfied with my performance, and who now needs a detailed explanation of exactly why I didn't prioritize this thing over literally everything else I have on my plate. 

    I got 25 emails before noon that all require responses (not including the junk that I could immediately delete or file as not requiring action). This is a typical day, and that's on top of my far more time-consuming core job responsibilities. I do not have access to my emails from home or from my mobile device, which means that everything I have to do, I have to get done at the office. I don't take lunches, I show up early, and when it's possible I stay late (daycare pickup makes that tough, though). I'm So. Fucking. Tired. And I'm supposed to leave for vacation tomorrow after work, but I can't even take an afternoon off without returning to a shitshow; I don't know how I'm supposed to relax for three whole days out of the office.

    I spent the entirety of my last pregnancy living in mortal terror of being fired (same job, same boss), and apparently that's where I'm at again now. Joy. 
  • @AGK2015 Your job sounds so much like my old job and I just sympathize so much. I’m sorry you’re dealing with a crap client and boss on top of trying to get ready to go on vacation. People suck.
    **June Siggy Challenge - P.I.L.Fs**
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  • @AGK2015 So sorry you are dealing with that! Reminds me of today with a colleague for myself, but yours seems so much worse. I have 7-8 clients and a pretty heavy workload for each plus a big event next week for 110 people that I'm planning for my work. That event takes ALL priority this week and anything else I get done is icing on the cake. My colleague calls and I miss the call (because I'm running around the office and not always at my desk OR having a coughing fit because I have a cold). She proceeds to call like 5 more times over an hour rather than leaving me a voicemail... Then when she finally connects it's a brand new project that will probably take 4-5 hours that isn't even my prioritized client work and she needs it done tomorrow. We send emails back and forth as I try to figure out what the heck she wants while clarifying that this takes priority over the other client work that she and I are on together. She says yes (though I'm not sure my boss would agree with that lol). And she calls me one more time today to try to explain something after I already emailed her and told her how busy I was today and that I needed to speak with her tomorrow morning about it. Then she finally accepted that and will try to call me first thing in the morning... Yay, what joy. Luckily, I'm about to leave for an appointment (not baby related, ha) and then I have a phone meeting for 2 hours that I can take from home. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @AGK2015 Ugh, that blows! Over-critical bosses are the last straw for me - I know you're not looking for reassurance - I just wanted to share the understanding. 

    When I last had a bad boss I was one of two "office girls" in an aircraft hangar and the *only* way that he didn't see me as an incompetent slug was when I started taking obsessive notes just to benefit him. Example, instead of letting him know that "Paul called at 1:30" It was a written note that "Paul called at 1:30, his account is paid, last service was in August, and he bought transmission fluid last week." So...I became a personal assistant instead of doing my job. I left a month later because I'm not a personal assistant and was tired of doing my work on Saturdays. :rage:
    NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016
    Dx: Unspecified IF

    BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
    BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018 :love:
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  • @scaredunprepared there are only a few people in my big city with my job, so I usually just describe it as being a nurse educator for brand new nurses. It’s super fun. I don’t do direct care anymore (did leadership for many years before this position). Sometimes my job is overwhelming because I’m the only one in the position at my hospital, but it is so rewarding! My nurses feel like my kids to me (even though I’m not old enough to be their parent...yet). I also have an awesome boss. My job before this one I could not brag about. I actually took a pay cut to change jobs (and hospitals). It’s one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. My life balance is so much better and I’m so much happier = healthier, better Mom, better wife, etc.
  • @AGK2015 so sorry you're dealing with that BS. Sending you much love. 

    @Activebaby that's awesome you're training the future nurses in your area.  Rare to also love your boss.  And even better that you're happier, despite the pay cut.  Quality of life over money all day long!  Glad you're able to better balance all your roles.
  • @AdorkablePixie I am so sorry that you are in a child care pinch. My in-laws watched DS full time until he was 15 months old and after that, only felt up to doing it part time. It was a tough adjustment.  What it be possible that maybe a friend or other family member could watch him from August until the baby comes? Good luck. I hope the perfect scenario falls into your lap! 

    @scaredunprepared As an elementary teacher, I feel your pain!  We had so many parents, who would drop their sick child off at school, knowing they were sick and then bolt and refuse to answer their phones. It drove me nuts!

    @AGK2015 I’m sorry your boss is being so difficult. Do you have documentation of your successes and performance in case you need to defend yourself?
  • @temmetime I'm sorry it has been rough with the H lately.  I used to be a lot like him, by the sound of it (I get it from my Mom), but I have gotten much better about talking about issues since being with my DH.  He wouldn't put up with me keeping everything bottled in/sweeping things under the rug and I didn't want to lose him, so I had to swallow my pride.  We still have our days where I think we could benefit from therapy though (a LOT of couples could...it's not an embarrassing thing!).  I hope things are looking up for you guys.  <3

    @AdorkablePixie All the hugs to you.  <3  I know how scary looking for trustworthy daycare is for you and that's so understandable.  Thinking of you guys!

    @AGK2015 I'm so sorry you're feeling the stress about your job that you did last time.  I hope you have a great vacation and can ENJOY it!
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


  • Okay this is total first world problems, but I am going to bitch anyway. My doctor's office used to only do ultrasounds through Maternal Fetal Medacine. A few months ago, they merged with another practice that has a u/s machine and they are now able to do some them onsite at certain locations. If I have it done in the office, it saves us about $130, but they cannot make a DVD of it like MFM can. I feel like since we have the DVD of DS, I would feel guilty not having one of this baby, but I really do not want to have to reschedule the appointment or pay the extra money to do it at the hospital. However, we will likely meet my out of pocket ($3500) with the birth and the $130 would go toward that, so I guess it really wouldn't cost too much extra if you look at it that way.
  • @LLynde5 *hugs* Welcome back!
  • @katy0990 I wish! Unfortunately most of my family/friends live over an hour away. I wouldn't want anyone in DHs family watching him. lol Except maybe his step mom, but she isn't exactly healthy either and I don't think she could handle an energetic toddler full time.

    @maureenmce Thank you!! I should make a post on facebook. Unfortunately, most of my friends on facebook are in a completely different area. I do have some friends from church though that may not know we are looking for child care.

    @omnommer Yes!! SO expensive. I make good money too, or I thought I did. lol I agree, I hope she does take the time to work on herself and get better. I want her to be around for a long, long time! Oh no!! Sorry about your scones. I hate when stuff like that happens, especially when I am pregnant and hungry. haha

    @scaredunprepared Oh my gosh!! Her mom sounds like a dummy. Why would you take your kid to therapy when sick, especially around other children?! That is horrible and selfish. There are a couple church programs, most don't accept infants though, which sucks so we still won't have  potential affordable care for an infant. Maybe I'm just way off on what affordable is. I did fin a Christian based childcare center this morning and am touring it first thing in the morning! It's still pricey but I think I'd be comfortable sending my son there and it's less than one of the other places we are looking at, so that's a plus! I think if I had more time, this would be easier, but we are in such a crunch!

    @AGK2015 WTF! Are you keeping track of things your boss has been doing since you've announced your pregnancy? I would be, just incase they try to let you go because of "performance." That's BS.

    @LLynde5 No need to go back and catch up if you can't, just jump right back in! I've been finding it a bit difficult to keep up lately as well with all the stressful situations going on in my personal life but I come check in when I can!

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
  • @faith0222 I have thought about a nanny and maybe we can try to find one once we have a place figured out, but we don't have time right now to do all the research we need to, interview people, etc etc to do a nanny. Plus with a nanny you have pay them as an employee, so there is all that worry and extra taxes.

    @rosebud332 See above. lol Daycare is OUTRAGEOUS! It's unbelievable. I don't really have faith that a nanny would be much more cost effective, but I am going to try to find out.

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
  • @AdorkablePixie I really hope the Christian childcare center works out for you!

    @LLynde5 have you looked into prenatal massage for stress relief?  My hospital offers prenatal massages by neonatal certified therapists (something like that, can't remember the exact wording), and even a specialized massage for high risk mamas!  They have reflexology and reiki there too.  I go to my usual massage clinic for my prenatal massages, but am looking into the hospital as I get closer to D-Day.
  • hkomhkom member
    @LLynde5 I cannot imagine being on rest if I already had a child.  That sounds so difficult!  I didn't get any specific lifting restrictions in terms of weight, but I'm just not supposed to strain too much in general.  Apparently I'm supposed to be careful even about sneezing and coughing!  I've pretty much ruled out most exercise and am going to stick to moderate walking, which was OKed by doc and does actually help me relax at least a little.  





    BabyFruit Ticker


  • @scaredunprepared I love those ideas!  I went to an open house yesterday with a girlfriend for mini treats at the spa I regularly go to.  All the minis were free, plus raffles and dinner.  I was only able to get my eyebrows waxed and a hand scrub because they want me to wait until my next OB appointment to get cleared for everything else.  They did give me 20% off my next day of services, so after I am cleared I will be spending a whole day in relaxation mode.  

    Since I go to this spa regularly so they are aware of my issues and I could tell how nervous they were to offer me anything other than the minis I got.  

  • @clbness thanks for your kind words <3 Things are better after a long calm talk. It helps to read from your perspective & might be something to remind him in a kind way that put your pride aside if our relationship isn't something he wants to lose. I'm continuing to work on myself also. 
    Married: 6/6/14
    DS: 12/20/16
    EDD: 11/29/18
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @hkom I got the coughing/sneezing warning too.  My favorite was when she went into detail about no nipple stimulation, watching dirty movies or reading 50 shades of grey :s:o:D
  • @LLynde5 What about the sex dreams? I know I can’t stop those! :joy:
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • @LLynde5 Welcome back!  :)

    @temmetime You're welcome, I'm glad to hear things have calmed down.  I also am continuing to work on myself and that's the best we can do.  Marriage can just be hard sometimes, man (especially with kids)!  
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


  • hkomhkom member
    @LLynde5 Haha omg I did NOT get that advice!   :D 





    BabyFruit Ticker


  • @PensiveCrayon those are probably off the list too but she didn’t go into details on them or how to control them :D
  • @AdorkablePixie The scone story ended happily! My husband felt so bad when I told him that they were supposed to be a few days of breakfasts for me AND treats for everyone. So, that evening he took me out to a bakery and tried to get me a scone. It was evening, so they didn't have any... but we got truffles instead.  :p
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @LLynde5 Lifting restrictions with a toddler can be heartbreaking! I was t allowed to lift DS until 12 weeks and it was so hard. He still (5 weeks later) will say, “You can lift me, right Mommy?” It breaks my hormonal heart. I hope you can pick yours up again soon!

    @echo-charlietango It was nice to have to show the grandparents. We have not watched it since he was born, but  I had planned on showing it to him in the next couple of weeks before we go for this baby’s a/s.  My biggest motivation, is that I really do not want to take DS to the ultrasound, since it will be a long one. Also, if something comes up during the ultrasound, I want DH and I to be able to focus on the doctors and not be trying to entertain a very active 2-year-old while panicking and talking to the doctors. However, I want him to get to see the baby (he loves listening to the heartbeat on the Doppler) so we could just watch the DVD at home.


  • @echo-charlietango is it possible to move the flag?  Do you have a side entrance? Silly suggestion, but figured I'd throw it out there. 
  • @katy0990 it sounds like you have enough reason to actually get use of the DVD, and thst with your out of pocket maximum you ultimately are going to be paying the same for the year either way. So why not go for it?
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