Weekly Bitch-o-Rama • 7.23

echo-charlietango

temmetime

Dh and I fought literally the entire weekend. Every time we argue, I am the one who breaks the ice to try to resolve. I've never let it go more than 2-3 days of the anger iceberg silence to see how long he would let it go on.  I grew up in a family where you address your disagreements no matter who is at 'fault' & he grew up in a family that never (still) talks about issues & his parents have years of resentment and anger toward each other. I'm no saint, I definitely know that. This is getting very difficult lately & I can't tell if it's worse when I'm pregnant or it just feels that way. We obviously need some counseling. I'm just very bummed about it today.

Jens_Hoes

@temmetime I'm so sorry about the arguing.  My love-tit was a hug.  As someone who struggles with communication with my spouse, and works hard daily to avoid issues, I feel you.  If you and your husband can find time to go to therapy, it is such a good idea.  I can't remember if you already have children, but a newborn adds so much stress to your marriage, so it might be a good idea to get in before December.

temmetime

Thanks @Jens_Hoes. We do have 1 child already (19months). I'm definitely going to bring up counseling and push to go, we need help communicating. 

echo-charlietango

@temmetime My love-tit is also a long distance hug! I agree with @Jens_Hoes that some counseling will do you both good - hopefully it can help YH break down those communication barriers! Just because he had a bad communication example imprinted on him doesn't mean that the cycle must continue - work to talk, and let your LO see how adults can handle conflict in a healthy way that doesn't result in resentment

My BF is minor so far. Today is day three of our crawlspace encapsulation project, and one of my doggos won't stop buggin', barking, scratching on the couch, etc. I can't let the dogs out, and the big dog isn't taking my cues to be calm and relax about the men that are clearly under the house. It's just annoying because I can't unpack with him stressed out (he's an old man, so we do a lot of things for his comfort - it's a fair exchange because he's the best dog ever and never asks for anything).

Activebaby

@echo-charlietango I completely understand about the dogs. Mine goes crazy with anyone in the house. If someone is coming over to visit she has to be a pain for 5 minutes and then she is cuddling with you. But, if it is someone working in the house (and they go inside and outside), she works herself up so much. I have to put her I. Her kennel because she loses her mind “protecting” us. So I guess I hope they finish as quickly as possible!
My complaint... I had to do a group presentation today. The other colleagues didn’t do a pwpnt to cover the objectives as asked, so I did. One started the presentation and overspoke some of the Info on the PowerPoint and completely talked through another presenters part. It was not with malice, but was so unprepared. I still did my part and it went fine...but geez!!

ab_canada

@echo-charlietango

Awww, I hope your doggo gets some peace and quiet soon. Sometimes they are like babies - you can't explain to them what is happening and why and feel so bad for them in the meantime. 

hkom

Hugs to everyone having H issues.


My BF is that I am now on pelvic rest for the remainder of the pregnancy (see details, if you wish, in the Appointments thread).  Woooooooof.

kristah2

woah @hkom that is rough!! Are you still able to work or are you going to be off now until after baby?
Tried to find it in appointments thread and couldn't. I'm clearly a bad lurker  

gorgeousariel

@hkom I'm sorry, that sucks! I've been an pevlic rest for almost 10 weeks now. I have another ultrasound next week to check my SCH. I'm not expecting for it to gone so another 4w until my A/S. So basically the first half of my pg I will have been on rest. Don't worry, you'll get creative and still enjoy yourself. 

ab_canada

@hkom
Ouch.. Well, at least it's an important reason..

hkom

@kristah2 That's because I wasn't done writing the post yet

We'll manage.  If it keeps the baby in there and avoids further complications it's worth it.

@gorgeousariel I remembered someone else was on rest for a long time but couldn't recall who.  Hang in there!

hkom

@kristah2 I can still work, I just have to be careful about field work.  Some walking is fine, but nothing strenuous or prolonged.  Currently very happy that I work for my dad and everything is so flexible.

coybig

low beam headlight out on my car, as observed by dealership at oil change.  don't want to pay exorbitant rate to replace a bulb, so order pair of headlights to do myself.  bulbs arrive, so I look up easiest way to accomplish - discover the only way to change my headlights is to take the tire off, remove the fender liner, and replace from within the wheel well.

screw you car designers.

echo-charlietango

@coybig That's...excessive. I was just telling DH that I wanted to buy him some aftermarket LED headlights, but maybe I should check out installation first to make sure I won't have to do the same - yikes.

gingersnap-mama

@coybig jeez that's so annoying. It's like they do that stuff just so you can get robbed at dealerships!! 

Hollyyyyy

Ugh I'm at work and I absentmindedly yawned a few min ago. One of the agents I work with said "Wake up, Holly!" And another one (who's also a mom), goes "She thinks she's tired now! Just wait!" And then cackled to herself. Like yeah bitch, I yawned, sue me. Keep your smartass comments to yourself

PensiveCrayon

Minor BF but the really nice reindeer sausage we bought for the in-laws just got confiscated by customs. Wahhhhh! So much $$ down the drain. 

ab_canada

@Hollyyyyy
No kidding. It's probably their way of being excited and "recognizing" your pregnancy. But the "just wait" comments are super annoying, I agree. 

AFM, I remembered one from this weekend (minor one and I'm over it now, but at the time it made me uncomfortable).
My MIL wanted to Skype her sister because she asked to see my baby bump. Firstly, she saw me in person two weeks ago, so I don't see the point. Secondly, I am not getting up just to parade in front of a camera because somebody wants to see how big I'm getting! Shove off. And then my MIL responds with "Well, you have to play along because nobody in our family has been pregnant in a long time". I dunno, IDGAF? It's my body and I don't want to feel like some animal on display. If you see me in person, I won't hide from you but I don't have to show/post/parade in front of anyone!

echo-charlietango

@Hollyyyyy Ugh, those "just wait" comments just piss me off. I always want to yell back "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THIS BABY IS GOING TO EAT/SLEEP/BEHAVE, STFU."

@PensiveCrayon That blows. DH had reindeer sausage in AK, he said it was the bomb diggity.

@ab_canada I've gotten a few bump photo requests via DH - as in people are asking him for photos of me...people that have my number are asking him...*sigh*. We sent one to his mom last week, just because it was convenient, but that's it. I didn't realize that people want to see me get big - it's weird, I can't share that. I certainly won't hide it in-person, but I don't want to display this little dude just because he's still cooking.

hkom

@Hollyyyyy I haaaate those comments.  Like, thank you, I know I'm inexperienced and don't know what it's like to have a child, but that doesn't invalidate my current feelings.  AND, like @echo-charlietango said, they have no idea how your baby is going to operate.  I hope your baby is a great sleeper so you can rub it in her face

@ab_canada I would have been really annoyed at that request as well, and definitely would have refused to participate.  We are not zoo animals!

temmetime

I pulled the trigger on a dress from PinkBlush when they had 25% off dresses on Friday. Well, today all clearance is 50%. GRRR I could've saved more monies!

echo-charlietango

hkom said:

I hope your baby is a great sleeper so you can rub it in her face

@temmetime I hate when that happens!

Hollyyyyy

hkom said:

@Hollyyyyy I haaaate those comments.  Like, thank you, I know I'm inexperienced and don't know what it's like to have a child, but that doesn't invalidate my current feelings.  AND, like @echo-charlietango said, they have no idea how your baby is going to operate.  I hope your baby is a great sleeper so you can rub it in her face


*Stuck in the box*

Seriously @ab_canada @hkom @echo-charlietango the thing that really got me, was that I was just minding my own business, and happened to yawn. I wasn't sitting there complaining about how exhausted I am! Apparently I'm not allowed to be tired in the mornings, until I'm actually a parent

Katzalia

@Hollyyyyy super annoying. As a STM, I’d like to also add I have never in my life been so exhausted as during first trimester with my first. Not even the newborn fog of sleeplessness was as exhausting as growing a human. 

My BF for the day: I’m barely showing, am 25 lbs under my prepregnancy weight, most of work still doesn’t know and I don’t think suspects, and some random patient just yelled across the hall at me to ask when I’m due. 

blueberry2mommy25

This. Made. My .day. I love your response @Hollyyyyy. My coworkers are the same. Its infuriating because I'm finding being pregnat to be a little lonely.  NOBODY (except when I come on here) gets it!!!

katy0990

@temmetime I’m sorry that you are having marital issues, but I’m glad you are self aware and are considering counseling.

@hkom I’m sorry about pelvic rest. That sucks!

@Hollyyyyy That is so annoying. Normal non pregnant people get tired, too. Also, I hate it when people try to tell you what’s going to happen after the baby comes in a patronizing way like that.

@coybig Car stuff is just a PITA! 

maureenmce

The air conditioning in our office went out about an hour ago. It's 94 outside. BOO.

Edited to add: it's back! I may have overcompensated and ran out for a couple of cups of ice for extra cold beverages and now I feel like a fool, lol.

morgantu

Spent the whole day watching fetal pigs being dissected and breathing formaldehyde, which nobody bothered to let me know was happening until i showed up. I don't think the chemicals could possibly have been great, but I'm not too worried except of course now the baby isn't very active this afternoon. Ughhhhh.
 

maureenmce

@morgantu Oh god we had to dissect fetal pigs in anatomy class in high school and it was the worst thing ever. I'm sorry! But hopefully the fumes weren't too bad - try not to worry! 

morgantu

@maureenmce it's terrible, pregnant or Not! And luckily, I have my a/s tomorrow so I don't have to worry too long. I'm sure everything is fine, but there's always weird chance. 

maureenmce

@morgantu Oh, I'm so glad you have your a/s tomorrow for reassurance! Hope everything goes great!

hkom

@morgantu Aaaaahh the fetal pigs!  They were so gross.  My main memory of those is that apparently I was oddly gifted at dissecting them, so my professor had me do a bunch of extra stuff on mine so he could use it as one of the models for the lesson. I was... not thrilled.     

The worst were the squid though.  I will never forget that smell of the dead squid mixed with the preservation liquid.  I washed my clothes like 4 times in a row after that lab. 

morgantu

@hkom these kids were brutal! I'm glad they were excited about it but kinda hope they don't have pets at home lol. We didn't do squid, but we did cats and sharks. I thought I was done with that kind of stuff but now I interpret all kinds of university classes. I've even done human cadaver lab before. 

hkom

@morgantu My half-brother was just telling me the other day about how he is doing cadavers right now for nursing school.  Barf. 

morgantu

@hkom cadavers are fascinating. I don't mind it because I know that those people wanted this to happen to them and the people working on them are very respectful. I actually prefer human dissection to animal. Maybe a very strange uo? Lol 

echo-charlietango

@morgantu I don’t think it’s strange at all! I always tell DH that if I’m suddenly a lifeless husk to please donate my body to science. Rotting in a casket is a waste of space, being burned doesn’t appeal to me, so I would much rather be a teaching tool. 

Katzalia

@morgantu I agree there is a different level of respect for cadavers vs animals. Formaldehyde is not so good during during pregnancy, but you had pretty minimal exposure if this is a one-time class and you were not having skin contact. Nice you have the A/S so soon for reassurance. 

AdorkablePixie

@morgantu Ugh. That is a terrible smell.

@temmetime I am so sorry. My love it was also a  long distance hug.

My bitch isn't really a bitch per see, but me freaking out. Last Wednesday when I went to pick up DS from MIL (she has been watching him since he was 4 months old, we paid her what we had been paying daycare) she told me that after his swimming lessons (last lesson is August 17) that she can no longer watch him. She said she is not well and she needs to work on her for a while (she has diabetes and some other health issues and she does not take care  of herself). Cue DH and I freaking out. We do not want to send DS to a daycare with people we don't know, we definitely will NOT send him to another in home daycare (won't go into detail, but he almost died). I had a panic attach driving home. All daycare centers around here are super expensive, especially for infants. I'm just so stressed. I go to tour three places on Friday. I tried to set up five, but two of the places don't have two year old openings until January. Of the 20ish places I called, only 5 can we comfortably afford... and I make good money. We're looking into selling our house and moving back to where we use to live, same state but it's SO MUCH CHEAPER. That's why I've been kinda MIA. I've been spending most of my time researching and calling daycare centers.

faith0222

@AdorkablePixie I’m glad ur MIL is at least trying to take care of herself now because unkept diabetes could turn into a very serious thing and result into more issues. I read that you don’t really trust home day cares but if you’re paying your MIL what a daycare costs maybe you could look into getting a nanny.
There are some great daycares out there but unfortunately are ridiculously expensive and some of them close for stupid things. My daughter went to a Montessori which was great but closed for different week-2 week long breaks, unnecessary holidays, and teacher institute days and I still had to pay for the days they decided to be closed. 


As for my rant, I asked my boss if I could start working 9-530 once my daughter goes back to school instead of 1030-7. And of course he said no because those are the hours my job description calls for and supposedly everyone works midshift (which is total bs cuz literally no one does but me). But anyways i think it’s funny how now he wants be to do what im supposed to do but it’s ok to break the rules everyday to the opposite of what I’m supposed to do and ignore what my actual duties are. Plus he’s about to retire so my hours won’t affect him for long and after that I’m gonna be gone in December anyways so I don’t see the big deal.
Other then that, I’m finally almost done moving! I can’t believe how much work it’s been and I only took my daughters things and my own things from my parents house. I can’t imagine people that move their whole house!!!! But so far it’s been awesome. I was scared it would be a lot of trouble adjusting my daughter to our new home but it’s going way better then expected. Of course she misses my parents but she gets to see them every day after camp still and has the option to do sleep overs on the weekends. Even my boyfriend is shocked at how well it’s going. As for us, it’s like moving in was some sort of  miracle thing because now all the sudden we’ve settled on going arguments (even the name situation) and communication was fixed overnight! 

rosebud332

@AdorkablePixie I’m sorry you’re having childcare troubles. I agree, maybe a nanny or nanny share situation would work better for you and ease your anxiety. I can’t believe how expensive daycare is! I would have been able to swing having one in daycare but if I wasn’t already home I’d have to quit when this baby comes because we couldn’t afford two.