Pregnancy in the workplace

megpants209 · July 2018

At the suggestion of @lzzfrancisco - let's talk work!

Have you told work?

Are they supportive or not so much?

Anyone changing jobs when pregnant?

Or anything else of course

BourbonBiscuits · July 2018

Yay thanks for starting this @megpants209 !

I have not told my boss yet (I work at a school and we're all in and out for the summer). I'm planning to tell her as soon as we're both in the office. A few work people know - just people my husband and I are friends with outside of work. I'm definitely someone who likes to tell people about pregnancy early and often. God forbid something were to happen, I know I'll need even more support and understanding in the workplace than if everything goes perfectly.

I'm the admin assistant in my division, so there are 2 other admin assistants within the school as a whole (one for each division). One of the other AAs is pregnant too, along with a few teachers in my division. I know my boss will be supportive, but I do wonder how they plan to cover my position. Hopefully the other AAs mat leave will dovetail nicely with mine and we won't need to find two long term subs. Historically my job has been held by women in their 50s and 60s, so it's kind of a new phenomenon for 2/3 of us to be pregnant.

ETA: I'm at work right now (I only work a few days throughout the summer) and I cannot focus to save my life. I only have a few things to accomplish, but I'm genuinely considering taking my laptop home and working after DS goes to sleep tonight. I was working my normal full time hours when I was pregnant with DS, but in a much more demanding job so everything was on a tight deadline.

kayjay44 · July 2018

Have you told work? Yep - I work on a small in house legal team and told my teammate and my manager when I found out. TW - After my horrific loss three years ago, I realized it was easier to go through the loss and get the support and time off I needed telling my team. I have just now started telling more people at work because my blump is not hideable (3rd baby, super short torso, abs split with my second and never fully healed) and because we have regular happy hours at work and people notice when you don't have a drink.

Are they supportive or not so much? Everyone is super supportive. My boss is naturally nervous about hiring someone to backfill me while I'm on mat leave since she's never managed people before (my team is only a little over a year old). I'm not nervous about it, because I've done it twice previously.

My company has 12 weeks fully paid leave, which they just instituted last summer, so I'm really excited about not having to stress about money after my STD and PTO run out.

Happy to answer any questions anyone has since this is my third time doing this (and I'll be going back to work after #3, as well).

darkstar42 · July 2018

I'm an academic, so there are layers and layers of bosses and bureaucracy! I've told my department chair, because we'll need to make some significant changes to the course schedule for spring semester, and I wanted to give him a much of a heads up as possible. I'll tell everyone else when I get back to work in fall, as I'll be out of the first tri by then. My chair was extremely happy and supportive, which was expected, but still a relief to me. Nearly everyone in the department has dealt with IF in some form or other, so there is a lot of understanding. We're still trying to figure out how to shift classes around (we'll probably have to hire temporary instructors), but I'm hoping to take the whole spring semester off. This is likely to be our only child, so I don't want to rush back to work (and I recognize that I am EXTREMELY privileged to have the option of time off). At some point I'll need to talk to HR, let the dean know, etc.

madreofdragons · July 2018

Not working now, but will actually be job hunting in August. I’m really excited about it.

Erinm278 · July 2018

Because of my pregnancy complications I have had to tell work. I work in higher education but I'm in administration and not faculty. My supervisor and others I work with have been very supportive and are excited for me.
My boss is probably in her late 50s and never had children. She was surprised when I mentioned I planned to take the usual 12 weeks off to be home with the baby. She was like "I thought you'd take like 3 weeks" which I don't know if that was a joke or what..but everyone in the room at the time laughed and was talking about how other countries get much much more time off with their babies.

kayjay44 · July 2018

Erinm278 said:

Because of my pregnancy complications I have had to tell work. I work in higher education but I'm in administration and not faculty. My supervisor and others I work with have been very supportive and are excited for me.
My boss is probably in her late 50s and never had children. She was surprised when I mentioned I planned to take the usual 12 weeks off to be home with the baby. She was like "I thought you'd take like 3 weeks" which I don't know if that was a joke or what..but everyone in the room at the time laughed and was talking about how other countries get much much more time off with their babies.

"Yeah, I'll come back three weeks before the gaping wound left by the placenta heals...."

DH's boss when #2 was born was a younger man without children who told DH that he saw no reason I (or any other woman) needed to take more than 2 weeks off after birth. Ohhhhhkayyy.

bananster1 · July 2018

I just told my boss yesterday. She was very excited about it.

A few few weeks ago she started putting feelers out there to see if I’m interested in moving up in positions. It wasn’t discussed yesterday, but I really hope my pregnancy doesn’t change her mind. Time will tell I suppose.

disneybaby84 · July 2018

Have you told work? I have not told work officially, one co worker knows. I might tell work tomorrow at staff meeting.

Are they supportive or not so much?

Generally people at my job are supportive, they already know I have one small child and have been good about it, others have young children as well.

Anyone changing jobs when pregnant?

So, my last pregnancy I was unemployed. I started job searching when the baby was 5 months, didn't successfully land a job until he was 10 months old. And yes, I started this job knowing I was going to get pregnant again, during the job interview I was gauging each potential employer's reaction to the fact that I had a kid. This job I have now, was the least bothered by the fact that I have a young child. Some people did ask what I would consider discriminating questions about my child interfering with my work.

antera23 · July 2018

Great idea!

I have not told administration yet but all the people I work with directly know. I’ll tell administration as soon as I’m out of my 1st trimester. That is also when I will tell my clients.

My my coworkers are all extremely excited for me. I’m sure administration will be supportive. They might panic temporarily but IDC.

All those men who think women should come back to work weeks after having a baby need to STFU. They’re the reason why this country has such poor maternity leave policies!

Erinm278 · July 2018

@kayjay44 I really hope she was joking but I really don't know!

ohsunnydays · July 2018

Have you told work?
I have not yet. I’m a teacher and go back Aug. 16. I’m debating exactly when to tell... the first few weeks are chaotic for all! But the bloat is real... haha I’ll have to see.

Are they supportive or not so much?
I think they will be!

danixbanani24 · July 2018

I have told my two supervisors. I work in the HR dept so everyone is supportive (as they should be legally haha) I just started this job two months ago and I did feel a little scared to share because new job and now I’m gonna have to take days off etc. the place I work at is very family friendly though and even has alternate work weeks meaning working remote occasionally.

One supervisor keeps pushing me to tell the whole team but I keep saying I’d rather wait until I’m 12-13 weeks and have one more dr appt under my belt. She’s kind of annoying me about it but I’m sticking to my guns. My other supervisor is very supportive and agrees to wait to tell the team until I’m ready.

This is a HUGE change from my previous job when I was pregnant with DS and had a complete witch of a boss. She made me take full vacation days for doctor appts (instead of coming in late or leaving a little early or working remote etc) and she couldn’t believe I was taking all 12 weeks of FMLA. Ugh I still feel traumatized by her...so this place is a breathe of fresh air

MrsCaliRN · July 2018

I haven't told work yet and I'm dreading it, as I do every pregnancy (this is my 3rd), because it's usually followed by chaos. I work for a non-profit pediatric health agency and I also hold the employee health stuff and medical-based trainings for the entire agency. The only person who can cover most of my duties is my supervisor and she is going to ask all sorts of questions about when I'm leaving and when I'm coming back, and I really have a lot of things to consider regarding my other two kiddos' needs and finances and stuff before answering those questions. I also am generally annoyed by all of the pregnancy related questions I'm sure to get from my co-workers that I just don't feel like answering on a daily-friggin-basis. With DS, I told my supervisor about each pregnancy around 14 weeks along, which means I've got a good 5 weeks to figure this stuff out!

Also, mad-respect to all those brave enough to tell others early on and recognize that you'd need support from those people in the case of loss. I am a super private person and wish I could hide my pregnancy at work and just come back after 4-6 months like nothing happened

madreofdragons · July 2018

I got lucky with DD, I was still doing hair. All of my supervisors were Mothers/grandmas. My manager jumped up and down and screamed when I told her.

Of course the salon closed as soon as I got back from leave.

megpants209 · July 2018

For me, I’ve told my supervisors for my two positions but that’s it. They are INCREDIBLY supportive and know we had been trying for some time. I’m in a predominantly female field so they are very child-friendly. When our office expanded they actually floated the idea of offering drop-in childcare which would have been amazing.

I’m already a part time employee but will decrease my caseload even more once baby gets here. Ironically enough I was actually given an additional position largely because I’ll have a child and will see fewer clients so I’ll have time at home to do the administrative aspects of supervising a school-based mental health program in two counties. Such a dramatic departure from most organizations and I am so thankful for them every day.

lokibear89 · July 2018

Have you told work?

Not yet, I want to wait until my 12 week scan at the earliest.

Are they supportive or not so much?

I think they will be, my boss knows I have been trying as I have had a previous MMC and had to take time off for that. Logistically it should be fun I hold quite a lot of responsibility at work so someone will have to step up for the short term.

dcaron10 · July 2018

I have told work. I told several close coworkers pretty early and just told my boss last week. They are all very supportive. I’m just worried because I’m only part time and it’s a small orthopedic practice so you only get benefits and paid leave time if you are full time. Which I knew that when I started in November and I don’t need benefits cause I am on my husband’s but I guess I didn’t really think about leave. I do accrue a small amount of PTO but from what I calculated I will only have enough for 2 weeks paid. I know my boss will let me have as much time as I need off but it just won’t be paid. I thought about maybe like starting off slow and start back like one day a week after 4 or 5 weeks (of course pending how the baby and I are doing) and working my way back up to 3 days but I’m not sure yet...

lzzfrancisco · July 2018

@madreofdragons shut up! I used to do hair before I got into coding! We have a lot in common!

lzzfrancisco · July 2018

I have not told work, and would like to keep it quiet for another two weeks, which means not mentioning it on Facebook. I got a job offer today that I was really excited about, I'd be able to work from home 4-5 days a week, but unfortunately it's about 10% too low. So I doubt I could negotiate that type of increase plus short term disability Now my goal is to attempt to negotiate remote work from my current company and to get the most paid leave possible.
I'm really dreading telling everyone because I won't handle comments about my caffeine habits and growing waistline well at all. My boss thinks we're "girlfriend's" and is inappropriate fairly often. She's not going to like it when I touch her belly right back.

etnyah · July 2018

I've only told one coworker, she's my age and we're friends, but no one else knows yet.

I want to wait as long as possible before I tell my boss, the longer until I start showing the better. My workplace has no policy in place for pregnancies or maternity leave, and it's a very male dominated work place. The company is a small, 40 year old family owned business. In those 40 years they have never had a pregnant woman on staff. None of the women who currently work there have children either. I do know that when a male coworker had a baby a couple years ago (this was before I started working there), he got scolded for taking two weeks off. His wife had a c-section, and they already had a toddler, so clearly she needed all the support her husband could give her. They apparently wouldn't let it go and punished him for weeks. My only hope is that because they're so old fashioned (read: sexist), they'll have more sympathy for a woman taking time off.

I know I won't get any paid leave, but I don't even care. This is my first and maybe only baby, and I'm from a country where you get one full year of mat leave and I know what I'm giving up, so I'm asking for a few months off without pay, Maybe as many as six, but I haven't decided yet. If they refuse to let me have at least three months off, I'm quitting. I can always get on my husband's insurance and find another job when I'm ready.

kayjay44 · July 2018

@grebretso - How many employees? We're very lucky in Washington that if they have over 8 employees, they have to let you have 6 weeks off minimum (8 for a C/S) and potentially more. If it's over 50 employees, then FMLA protections kick in.

kayjay44 · July 2018

Oh and FMLA is on top of the Washington leave protections, if it's over 50 employees, they have to let you take 18 weeks, not 12.

etnyah · July 2018

@kayjay44 Ohh really? I had no idea about the 6 week min. We're 30 employees, so no FMLA, but 6 weeks helps a lot. I'll make sure to mention that to HR, which is one person. He's my friend and I know he'll do whatever he can to back me up, thank god.

kayjay44 · July 2018

grebretso said:

@kayjay44 Ohh really? I had no idea about the 6 week min. We're 30 employees, so no FMLA, but 6 weeks helps a lot. I'll make sure to mention that to HR, which is one person. He's my friend and I know he'll do whatever he can to back me up, thank god.

Straight from the source: https://www.lni.wa.gov/WorkplaceRights/LeaveBenefits/FamilyCare/Maternity/

It helps to have experience in Washington state employment law

etnyah · July 2018

@kayjay44 It sure does, thank you!! I'm on the L&I website all the time for work because I'm in charge of safety (we're a construction company, so there are tons of rules to follow), but I never actually look at the employee rights part. I guess it's time to do that now!

madreofdragons · July 2018

Job hunting is making me nervous. It’s been one of the few things that has caused a repeat fight between H and me. Went to school for medical billing and coding last year, can’t find a job worth a shit in the field in our area. I want to look for anything, H wants me to do what we spent the $ for. Now that I’m pregnant I have a feeling whatever I get (if anything) I’ll likely be laid off from once they realize how much time off monthly, then bi-monthly and weekly I’d need.

Longwinded way of saying I won’t be surprised if I didn’t find my next 10 year job this year. Lol.

becks_726 · July 2018

Have you told work?

Not yet. I've told one coworker because she is a close friend but I'm waiting for my manager to come back from vacation on the same day as my 12 week US before I spill the beans altogether.

Are they supportive or not so much?
I know my manager will be supportive because she was when my friend had her son and generally she's a very nice person. I'm a touch worried about my supervisor because he doesn't have kids and my leave will affect him and his workload. Our team is having a bit of a rough time right now... 2 out of 6 of our team are actively looking for new positions and have interviews coming up.

oh and mat leave will be 12-18 months for me. I don't blame him if he isn't totally thrilled about my timing, but I'm hopeful that he will come around and be happy for us.

Anyone changing jobs when pregnant?
I was looking pretty actively until I found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure changing now, when I don't need to, is the best thing for my sanity.

megpants209 · July 2018

@grebretso oh my gosh that sounds so anxiety inducing. I REALLY hope they are supportive of you.

@lzzfrancisco was this the dream job? I’m so sorry it was too low

smm1118 · July 2018

I haven’t told work yet and I am really dreading it. Not because I don’t think they will be supportive, I’m sure they will be, but because of the timing that I will be taking leave. I’m responsible for a major annual regulatory filing and my busiest time of the year are late February through early April.... so I will miss all of it. I am also having trouble with my direct reports so I cannot count on them for anything. My boss will be able to pick up a lot of the slack, but I just don’t see how it will get done. We may have to bring in a contractor or something to fill in. I am planning on telling my boss next time he is in town (we are located in different states) so I still have a little bit of time to decide how to go about it.

Im definitely going to take the time off that I am able, I just feel a little bad about it. I try to remember that I’m just an employee and they will figure it out, but it’s tough. I really like what I do and the people I work with so I am sad that I’m going to burden them.

etnyah · July 2018

@megpants209 It's actually fine! Financially we'll be a little tight for a while if I have to quit, but that's ok. I'm not married to this job, when I started it I told myself I'd stay for about two years, and that date is coming up this September. The only reason I'd be sad to go is that they seem to like me, they keep giving me raises and promotions, but I mostly just see those things as experience and leverage for negotiating future positions. The work environment is boring at best and absurd at worst, I'm not working in the field my interests or education is in, so having to sacrifice precious time with my newborn is way more anxiety inducing than quitting. It's just a job, after all!

megpants209 · July 2018

@grebretso that is a really fantastic way to look at it and great that you’re not stuck there due to finances. Maybe it will be the impetus to get you somewhere you love.

kdrn913 · July 2018

Most people at work know and have been supportive including my managers! I had to let them know because I was exposed to pertussis and had to let everyone know then. Plus it helps because there are a few patients I shouldn’t be taking care of. I’ll get 8 weeks partially paid- because of probably c section and then will have to use PTO for the rest. Trying to stock up now !

JamieH2000 · July 2018

Good topic! Glad to hear most people’s managers and teams are excited and supportive. I work for a large corporation in finance and they are good about maternity leave (we get 3 months paid and 3 months unpaid if we want to take it). However I just found out on Friday I am getting a very unexpected large promotion. I did not tell them I was pregnant but I feel very guilty since I will be leaving right before budget and missing year end. I’m just not ready to share since I’m still very high risk with the SCH and the loss of one twin at 7 weeks. I’m gonna try to hold off telling until I’m fully transitioned into my new role for as long as possible but I know there will be some chatter and unhappy new teammates about me just starting and leaving in 6 months for mat leave. O well, I’m trying not to stress since it took us 3 years and lots of science to get this baby

lzzfrancisco · July 2018

@megpants209 it was the dream job, but it doesnt qualify if they dont understand my value. On the other hand Ive pretty much got it made with my current role, so I'll happily stay!

cmjenkies · July 2018

I’ve told my immediate supervisor and a random assortment of coworkers. I had to spill a bit early because I was violently ill for a week - which actually ended up being that rotavirus hell situation - but at the beginning I didn’t know that. My boss also knew about my loss in the spring so I wanted her to know early for my appts and such. I am an OTR at a rehab hospital and have a very hands on job and will need some modifications as time goes.

Funny, one of my good work friends is also due with her rainbow baby exactly 1 month before me, so my boss also needs to know early so that she can find full time coverage for 2 treating therapists at the same time.

jsh5 · July 2018

Have you told work? Not yet. I'm a teacher...and I actually switched districts this year. I plan on telling them once I'm 12ish weeks.

Are they supportive or not so much? I adore my new principal so much! I think she will be supportive but semi stressed about finding a long term sub for my classroom. Which to be honest stresses me. This is my 3rd baby...and my last 2 long term subs were not that great. Hopefully this time I get an amazing sub and she loves my class like I do.

Anyone changing jobs when pregnant? I am going into a new district this year...but I've worked for my principal before.

Other: We have only told my parents. I hate keeping it from people but also don't want my kiddos to know yet...just in case.

squishy0511 · July 2018

Have you told work? Yes, I told them really early because of what I do. I’m a pediatric oncology nurse and give/am around chemotherapy. I told early so that If possible they could give me the assignments that didn’t have chemo. My doc is fine with me being around chemo and giving it because we use PPE, but I am trying to limit exposure as much as I can.

Are they supportive or not so much? Meh. My coworkers are supportive and happy for me (most of them anyway). The managers don’t really seem to care one way or the other.

Anything else? My last pregnancy I had a desk job and this time around I work in a busy inpatient unit so I’m nervous to see how it goes. The smells also don’t help my nausea lol!

LuLiLaEv · July 2018

I wanted to wait awhile regardless, but they just announced a huge re-org and I now have basically a new job and report to a different manager and direct manager so I’m SO glad I didn’t say anything. My plan is to wait until Sept/Oct so that I can see how things are going with all the changes. There’s talks of lay offs because of the re-org but because of who I report to and my new job I’m safe but I don’t need to give them a reason to think it would be nice to not pay me maternity leave.

I was looking for a new job (within the same company) before and still am so I don’t want word getting out that I’ll be taking off 4 months basically right after getting hired. We get 16 weeks at 100% pay so I’m not risking anything. I’m just going to fly under the radar until I can’t hide a bump anymore, which could easily be 20ish weeks based on my last 2 pregnancies

adough27 · July 2018

Have you told work? No. I have only told 2 of closest co-workers.

Are they supportive or not so much? Last time I was pregnant with DD, my co-workers were very supportive, but my boss at the time, who was a woman with no children and was not supportive at all. She took me off all of my major assignments and took away my bonus, because "I would be focusing more on myself because I was pregnant." This also paired up with my director who is "old fashion" kept asking me after I returned to work if I would prefer to work part time, which was even more so frustrating because me and my male co-worker were out of the office around the same time for maternity/paternity leave in which I took 9 weeks compared to his 16 weeks and I was constantly asked if I missed my baby or wanted to stop working by my director, while he was fully welcomed back. I hope my new boss is more supportive, I am waiting until I can no longer visibly hide the pregnancy from him, because I am so nervous about his reaction.

Anything else? My job does not offer paid leave and since I have DD, my sick leave has taken a hit. I am hoping I can take unpaid leave and advanced leave to allow me to be home for 12 weeks this time around, because they are only that small for so long.

Erinm278 · July 2018

DH and I were reading more about the new family paid leave act in New York State. This is brand new for our state and full benefits will kick in for 2019. We didn't realize until last night that DH will also be eligible to take 10 weeks off! That's freaking amazing! For our second DH literally got 0 time off. We have to crunch the numbers but essentially I could take 12 weeks off and get 55% of my pay for 10 weeks and use sick time for 2 weeks AND DH could take 10 weeks off and get 55% of his pay. We would do my 12 weeks then DH would take 10 weeks when I go back to work.

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