Re pain - I’ve been told pain isn’t normal, but if you’re raw from both you and baby learning how to bf, then it might be normal. Or if the latch was off and you’re sore, that might not go away magically if the latch is fixed - your breasts need to heal. The LCs told me that pain at the initial latch is ok, but once baby is latched, if it’s still painful then something needs to be adjusted, either latch is off or you have a clog or something.
Also, to unlatch a baby, slide your finger in their mouth - DO NOT just try pulling them off or you will immediately regret it.
ETA: the general consensus in bf’ing groups around here is that the problem with drinking beyond being able to drive and then trying to feed the baby isn’t the alcohol the baby may get, but that it is unsafe to attempt to hold or nurse the baby when tipsy/drunk. They recommend pumping and saving still and if you’re not comfortable with feeding that to the baby, label it and use it for other things (it can help heal chapped/cut skin, people use it in eyes and ears if they suspect infections... there’s a ton of uses if you google it).
I finally had a chance to read this thread! I just wanted to add a few things.
1. If you nips hurt in the beginning, mine basically felt chapped for the first week or so, put some nipple cream on them and walk around topless.
2. If you’re a working Mom definitely have at least 1 extra set of pump parts.
3. My hospital had a “breastfeeding support group”. I definitely recommend seeing if there is one near you. Basically nursing moms could go, there were LC’s on hand if you needed help. You could do a weighted feed if you wanted. Or you could just chat with other nursing moms at various stages. I personally found the weighted feeds useful. I wasn’t worried my son was getting enough, but it helped me know how much he was taking in per feed so i could make the right sized bottles and send enough to daycare.
4. Very little has be mentioned about mastitis, but it happens so I feel I should bring it up. I had it when DS was 3 weeks and 22 months. Mastitis comes on fast and hard. The first time I noticed a lump first and then woke up the next morning with a fever and my breast hot to the touch. The second time I noticed a red line going up my chest, found a lump, but caught it before the fever. I still felt like death though. It’s not something to screw with. If you noticed your breast is hard and painful plus hot to the touch or has red lines, develop a fever or flu like symptoms, see a doctor! Also, you can 100% nurse on the infected breast, you DO NOT have to pump and dump. In fact, nursing is the best way to empty the breast fully. Just make sure you get a nursing friend antibiotic.
5. The app LactMed is awesome for what meds are nursing safe.
+1000 on what @cdepperschmidt said about mastitis. I had it when DD was a little over a month old and it is miserable. High fever, vomiting, weak. I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid it again. Definitely nurse off that side as much as possible. And if you get clogged ducts, I found laying in a warm tub and hand expressing under water until the clog comes out was the best thing for me. I got them all the time so I have tried everything.
Just had a coworker tell me that our mother's rooms have hospital grade pumps and they give you all the parts for it, so I won't have to lug my pump to work. I could have cried lol.
I didn't BF last time but I did exclusively pump for 4 months. I BFd in the hospital to appease the nurses but supplemented at home until my milk came in. Never had a problem with supply and would pump after each time the baby ate. It kept me on her schedule and my breasts filled up as necessary. I had a great supply and sent plenty to day care and had a great freezer stash. At 4 months PP I got a terrible upper respiratory infection and had high fever of 103. I sent baby to be with MIL for 24 hours (DH worked nights) and after the fever cleared I never got my supply back. Was able to feed from stash for almost a full month. Excited to see how far I can get this time.
@krgriffin26 Thanks for sharing! I was wondering if anyone had experience exclusively pumping. That is what I plan to do but my mom basically told me it would never work. For whatever reason I just don't have a desire to BF but I really want the baby to have breast milk, if possible. Plus I don't plan to take more than 8 weeks off work so I would rather just not have to do the transition from breast to bottle (and as I type that it makes me sound incredibly lazy).
Any other good tips/advice from moms who have exclusively pumped in the past or plan to with this baby?
@spartan4life A girl in my N14 group exclusively pumped for a full year. She was amazing. It still takes a lot of dedication. You have to keep a schedule. The easiest was to pump in parallel with DD's eating schedule. If she ate every 2 hours, then I pumped every 2 hours. Same when she went to 3 and 4 hours. I double pumped and bagged milk as we went. Kept some in the fridge and some in freezer. Like I said, by 4 months, I had a full 1 month stock pile. I would have loved to of kept going if I had not gotten so sick. You will still need to eat, drink, and supplement accordingly as regular BFing moms. I took fenegreek (sp?) pills to boost supply when needed. Made cookies at the end but it was already too late. Don't skip pump sessions!! Seriously it can really hinder supply fast. Once in a while I did power pump sessions. Just keep reading up on it all and make it work for you. Don't stress about it all.
Stock up on boob pads, lanolin, milk bags (start with making 2 oz bags then move slowly to 4 oz, you can always combine), read up on good food for milk production, pump after baby eats from the bottle so you don't have to get up twice at night for the kid and then your boobs lol, get a battery pack for your machine, don't listen to anyone but yourself once you get started!!! lol
@spartan4life I EPed for about 11 months with DD. I think I remember a couple other people in our group EPed as well. Like @krgriffin26 said it takes a lot of dedication and a schedule. Not to scare you but it was hard and exhausting. I felt like between feeding DD and then pumping I didn't have time for anything else. Once DD got a little bit bigger I would sit her in the boppy and feed her while I pumped most of the time. I think the worst part was having to lug the pump around since I couldn't just throw DD on my boob when we were out (that ship had sailed). I think as long as you know what to expect and you're able to be regimented and organized you can do it! Definitely get a good system set up in your fridge and freezer so you can rotate using the oldest milk first. Kellymom.com (https://kellymom.com/mother2mother/exclusive-pumping/) was my best friend through the process.
I also EP'ed my first for a year (indiagnosed lip/tongue tie). It's a lot of work and if that is your preference I understand but I feel it takes a lot more commitment. I would pump and drive (long commute during wee hours). I was attached to that pump a lot. Wanted to burn the darn thing after I was done, but I was glad I stuck with it as long as I did. Beach trips - I was pumping in the car. Vacation I was carrying a pump. IMO it got a lot easier when I went back to work. I have a desk job and was able to take scheduled pump breaks. The chaos was more on weekends when we had plans and had to figure that out - plus a toddler and newborn to deal with. Thankfully I was able to nurse my second (even if it was just with one breast) for a full year. Pumping Mon-Fri was a lot more bearable. Regardless, I'd EP all over again if I had to (and was able to).
In general,breastfeeding is hard because you don't really know how much your newborn is taking in (unless weighed feedings). If they don't get back up to birth weight in the first week you start to freak out and think it's easier to pump and go that route so you can SEE how much they are consuming. The first few weeks (4-6) are tough, especially for a FTM but after you and baby get the hang of it you learn to trust the process, but getting to that point is hard when you are in charge of keeping a little human alive.
I agree with those above about pumping. It's alot of work. I bfed and pumped for 14 months. Bfed when I was with the baby and pumped while at work . The first 6 weeks of breastfeeding hurts alot but once you get passed the 6 week mark.. it's soooooo easy!!!!!!! From week 2-6 I had to exclusively pump my right boob and I exclusively breastfed from my left. So I have experience with both . I had to EP my right boob because I had nipple lesions and blisters that needed to heal.
My left boob where I bfed the whole weeks nicely adjusted to how much the baby needed and it never had any clogged ducts the engorgements eventually subsided by 6 weeks too. The right boob where I EPed, always had engorgements and clogged ducts. I had to constantly squeeze my boobs and massage the lumps out to prevent mastitis. It didn't overcome the engorgements until I started breastfeeding from that boob again. Honestly, the baby is a much better suction and effective than the pump. Eventually once I got used to the bfing, it was painfree and fast and easy. Pumping sucked and hurt so much more . Before I had to do this, I thought the pump was better but after I went through that mini experiment, I learned that bf is much easier and better.
Wow! You EPers are amazing! I BF’d and pumped at work and I hated pumping. I had mad respect for your dedication to pumping! BFing is really hard for the first few months, but I think pumping is even harder.
So I’ve read many of you say to have extra pump parts. I get a Medela Pump through insurance. Which extra parts do I need (I don’t even honestly know what the parts are)?
@spartan4life there are the breast shields (the easiest to clean and dry in a pinch), the valves, membranes, connectors, and tubes. Oh! And storage bottles. I have enough parts that I can pump 5 days a week and only clean and sterilize on Sunday afternoons.
@jemmerjams that's awesome, what a great work place!! I ended up having to rent a hospital grade pump (medela symphony) with boy my boys towards the end (7-12 mos) as my supply tanked and my regular pump couldn't keep up.
totally agree with @mommy2ane on stocking up on extra parts so you don't have to wash everything every single night and buying extra storage bottles. such a relief when i finally amassed more parts and didn't have the cleaning looming over me on my nightly to-do list!
If you're able, i'd also work on freezing any extra milk you pump. It really helped me supplement towards the end of my pumping (around 1 year) when my supply went down without making me freak out so I could still give my boys bm.
With my first son we just couldn't get the latch down right. I hand expressed colostrum and spoon fed it to him in the hospital and exclusively pumped for the first 3 months until his tiny little mouth could figure out the latch. We tried often but it was SO painful and we saw LCs frequently to try and make it work. Ended up nursing him until my supply ran out (when i got pregnant with his little brother). My second son nursed like a champ for 2 years and it was just easy. I think my body was just used to it at that point. The LCs in our hospital were phenomenal!!! I never took a breastfeeding class, but looking back I sure wish I would have as i would've been a bit more prepared. Definitely visit with an LC after the baby's birth and watch the videos on proper latch, different holds, what it looks/sounds like when baby is actually transferring milk, etc. My hospital had a support group for new breastfeeding mom's and it was a great help too.
I never developed mastitis until the very end when my boys were weaning. it was crazy painful, felt like the flu.
Would talking about nursing bras fit in this discussion? I just bought some from Target but had a question about the sleep style bras. I tried on a Lamaze and really liked it but it was $24 for one. So I looked online and came across “loving moments by leading lady” brand at walmart. Was just wondering f this is comparable. What bras do you recommend? I want something practical for night time that doesn’t need to clip down. I never used any practical nursing gear with my first and want this time around to be a little more functional
@alexa_94 I am trying to get some now and see what works for me, and thankfully I have started this process early because it's a struggle. I can't wear any bras that are "pull on" type, so they must have a clasp in the back. I didn't realize that I would have that big of an issue until I bought some (kindred bravely brand, highly rated though!), and couldn't get them on over my shoulders (tiny ribcage+ huge man-shoulders= necklace bra). I bought a few wireless bras from Cake to use for nursing and sleeping/nursing, and they are super expensive ($60+ each) and returns aren't free shipping, but it's the only thing that fits me. (currently a 32G)
I guess the TL;DR is: start now, buy a bunch and see what works, then return the rest.
@spartan4life My breast pump came with two flanges, one set of tubes, one set of membranes, one set of bottles. You definitely will want extra bottles, extra membranes because they get worn and it impacts suction, you may need a different size flange, but I would wait til after baby for that.
I wanted to address the oversupply issue from my perspective. I nursed/pumped for 15 months and had an oversupply. For me it caused no issues besides extra milk (which wasn’t an issue). I was never a leaker, never got super uncomfortable unless I was very overdue to pump or nurse, and ended up being able to donate hundreds of ounces to local moms struggling with breastfeeding. I totally understand that this isn’t the case for everyone, but wanted to show again that everyone’s experience is different and an oversupply isn’t always a bad thing .
Do any STMs use a separate milk collector for the non nursing breast? I registered for the Milkies milk saver but didn’t get it and I’m not sure if it’s worth it. We are closing out our registry in a few weeks So we aren’t scrambling (and I’m finally getting my 2018 Cruz!) and I’m trying to figure out what else I should get. It’s a bit expensive but when I’ll be spending so much but if people have found it or another product indespensible, I’ll pick it up.
@jenchoo I picked up a Hakaa to use for this baby but obviously haven't had a chance to use it yet. I've heard good things and judging by how much I leaked out of the opposite breast while I nursed DD, I'm hoping it will come in handy.
@jenchoo I leaked a lot on let down with DS when he nursed so I’m probably going to get the milk savers. I’m wondering the same thing, though because I don’t know anyone who has personally used them.
I’m going to guess that this is a thing that varies by person.
Max and I are still trying to get the whole breastfeeding thing down, but for me, trying to collect the small amount that I leak from one breast while he is on the other isn’t worth it. However, I don’t have a supply issue, so I am not anxious about those few drops lost.
This is the Haakaa. It’s a single piece silicone breast pump. It basically suctions on to the opposite breast and helps drain it while you’re nursing. https://www.haakaa.co.nz/collections/breastfeeding
@meltonjl I have a couple of friends who swear by them. Because they suction on they act more like a pump than the Milk Savers do (MS will collect passive letdown only, they pressure from the Haakaa causes active letdown).
@jenchoo just my personal experience, but i felt like i leaked so much from the opposite side yet when i actually used something to collect it i found that it was really not all that much (more hassle than it was worth). I just made some double-layer nursing pads (plain old prefold cloth diapers cut into circles and stitched around the edges to hold them together...simple and effective) to use on the other side when i nursed to avoid getting soaked.
that being said, i always had plenty of milk so a little amount was not going to make or break anything.
I had an oversupply with ODD, but I didn't end up nursing so I don't know how that would have played out. I remember the day I came home from the hospital, I went to take a shower and when I took my bra off, breastmilk just started *pouring* out of both boobs at once. I had to stand next to the shower with my hands cupped under my boobs and the milk was pouring over the sides of my hands to the floor. When I went to the hospital 6 days PP for an infection, I soaked through hospital gown after hospital gown and had to have my sheets changed 4 or 5 times in the 6 hours I was there. And I hadn't nursed or pumped at this point at all. I'm pretty sure I just have an excess of glandular tissue and I'll have an oversupply no matter what I do.
One thing I struggled with that I didn't know was a thing was breast aversion. As in ODD was afraid of my breasts. She would cry, arch away, and grow hysterical if I tried to latch her. I was able to latch her and nurse exactly 1 time with a nipple shield after doing a "rebirthing ceremony". This was likely due to a severe lip tie that wasn't diagnosed until well after I gave up trying to breastfeed. I'm definitely going to be on the look out for that from day 1 this time.
I have a question about breastmilk storage. When our roommate moved out, he left me a bunch of these little storage bowls / cups. I was delighted because I thought they would be perfect for storing breastmilk in our particular freezer situation (plus I never liked using the bags with ODD). Now I'm a little worried about thawing the milk because each cup holds 10 ounces whereas a typical milk storage bag holds 5-6. I'm worried about thawing that much milk at once and then not using it. Idk, I might be over thinking it lol but thoughts?
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@mytrueloves you can freeze the 10 oz if you want, but you don’t want to heat the whole amount. So thaw in the fridge. Then transfer just the amount you need (say 4oz) to a bottle and warm it. The thawed milk is good in the fridge for 24 hours. But it might just be easier to only fill them to 4-5 ounces and freeze like that.
One thing I do want to mention to anyone who is a FTM or who hasn't breastfed before, but is now choosing to do so: If you think you have mastitis (especially if you have a fever) go in and get checked out right away. Do not wait! Mastitis is no joke and can put you in the hospital, not to mention that you feel f****** terrible. I got it twice within two weeks and the second time around I knew what it was and it went away much faster. I am the type of person who waits things out before going to the dr, but I will never procrastinate if I think I have mastitis. I certainly don't want to scare anyone into thinking that everyone who breastfeeds get it, because they don't. I was even lucky enough to nurse/pump for 15 months without getting it and plenty of people never do.
@knottieamusements using the breast pump flanges as funnels from container to the bottle works well when transferring not only from large containers but also milk storage bags
I'd like to try BFing, and if it works out great, but I'm not feeling like it's something that I must do or I've failed. I think some of my ambivalence is coming from the fact that I have to go back to work PT (schedule still TBD) after ~ 6 weeks (depending on how things land with Thanksgiving).
Did any of you STMs have to start back earlier than 12 weeks, and if so how did you make that transition? I'm not sure how to time things with starting pumping/introducing bottles/etc. LO will be in daycare when I go back, if that makes a difference.
@zwink1 with DS I went back after about 7 weeks. I BF for 10 months so it’s def possible. I had an oversupply so I pumped right when I got home from the hospital and saved up. If you want to introduce bottles, you can top your LO off with a teeny bottle after nursing. We did that and it also helped him gain weight because he was a 37 weeker.
Re: Breastfeeding/ Pumping General Discussion
Also, to unlatch a baby, slide your finger in their mouth - DO NOT just try pulling them off or you will immediately regret it.
ETA: the general consensus in bf’ing groups around here is that the problem with drinking beyond being able to drive and then trying to feed the baby isn’t the alcohol the baby may get, but that it is unsafe to attempt to hold or nurse the baby when tipsy/drunk. They recommend pumping and saving still and if you’re not comfortable with feeding that to the baby, label it and use it for other things (it can help heal chapped/cut skin, people use it in eyes and ears if they suspect infections... there’s a ton of uses if you google it).
1. If you nips hurt in the beginning, mine basically felt chapped for the first week or so, put some nipple cream on them and walk around topless.
2. If you’re a working Mom definitely have at least 1 extra set of pump parts.
3. My hospital had a “breastfeeding support group”. I definitely recommend seeing if there is one near you. Basically nursing moms could go, there were LC’s on hand if you needed help. You could do a weighted feed if you wanted. Or you could just chat with other nursing moms at various stages. I personally found the weighted feeds useful. I wasn’t worried my son was getting enough, but it helped me know how much he was taking in per feed so i could make the right sized bottles and send enough to daycare.
4. Very little has be mentioned about mastitis, but it happens so I feel I should bring it up. I had it when DS was 3 weeks and 22 months. Mastitis comes on fast and hard. The first time I noticed a lump first and then woke up the next morning with a fever and my breast hot to the touch. The second time I noticed a red line going up my chest, found a lump, but caught it before the fever. I still felt like death though. It’s not something to screw with. If you noticed your breast is hard and painful plus hot to the touch or has red lines, develop a fever or flu like symptoms, see a doctor! Also, you can 100% nurse on the infected breast, you DO NOT have to pump and dump. In fact, nursing is the best way to empty the breast fully. Just make sure you get a nursing friend antibiotic.
5. The app LactMed is awesome for what meds are nursing safe.
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
A girl in my N14 group exclusively pumped for a full year. She was amazing. It still takes a lot of dedication. You have to keep a schedule. The easiest was to pump in parallel with DD's eating schedule. If she ate every 2 hours, then I pumped every 2 hours. Same when she went to 3 and 4 hours. I double pumped and bagged milk as we went. Kept some in the fridge and some in freezer. Like I said, by 4 months, I had a full 1 month stock pile. I would have loved to of kept going if I had not gotten so sick. You will still need to eat, drink, and supplement accordingly as regular BFing moms. I took fenegreek (sp?) pills to boost supply when needed. Made cookies at the end but it was already too late. Don't skip pump sessions!! Seriously it can really hinder supply fast. Once in a while I did power pump sessions. Just keep reading up on it all and make it work for you. Don't stress about it all.
Stock up on boob pads, lanolin, milk bags (start with making 2 oz bags then move slowly to 4 oz, you can always combine), read up on good food for milk production, pump after baby eats from the bottle so you don't have to get up twice at night for the kid and then your boobs lol, get a battery pack for your machine, don't listen to anyone but yourself once you get started!!! lol
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
In general,breastfeeding is hard because you don't really know how much your newborn is taking in (unless weighed feedings). If they don't get back up to birth weight in the first week you start to freak out and think it's easier to pump and go that route so you can SEE how much they are consuming. The first few weeks (4-6) are tough, especially for a FTM but after you and baby get the hang of it you learn to trust the process, but getting to that point is hard when you are in charge of keeping a little human alive.
My left boob where I bfed the whole weeks nicely adjusted to how much the baby needed and it never had any clogged ducts the engorgements eventually subsided by 6 weeks too. The right boob where I EPed, always had engorgements and clogged ducts. I had to constantly squeeze my boobs and massage the lumps out to prevent mastitis. It didn't overcome the engorgements until I started breastfeeding from that boob again. Honestly, the baby is a much better suction and effective than the pump. Eventually once I got used to the bfing, it was painfree and fast and easy. Pumping sucked and hurt so much more . Before I had to do this, I thought the pump was better but after I went through that mini experiment, I learned that bf is much easier and better.
Overall fed is best!
totally agree with @mommy2ane on stocking up on extra parts so you don't have to wash everything every single night and buying extra storage bottles. such a relief when i finally amassed more parts and didn't have the cleaning looming over me on my nightly to-do list!
If you're able, i'd also work on freezing any extra milk you pump. It really helped me supplement towards the end of my pumping (around 1 year) when my supply went down without making me freak out so I could still give my boys bm.
With my first son we just couldn't get the latch down right. I hand expressed colostrum and spoon fed it to him in the hospital and exclusively pumped for the first 3 months until his tiny little mouth could figure out the latch. We tried often but it was SO painful and we saw LCs frequently to try and make it work. Ended up nursing him until my supply ran out (when i got pregnant with his little brother). My second son nursed like a champ for 2 years and it was just easy. I think my body was just used to it at that point. The LCs in our hospital were phenomenal!!! I never took a breastfeeding class, but looking back I sure wish I would have as i would've been a bit more prepared. Definitely visit with an LC after the baby's birth and watch the videos on proper latch, different holds, what it looks/sounds like when baby is actually transferring milk, etc. My hospital had a support group for new breastfeeding mom's and it was a great help too.
I never developed mastitis until the very end when my boys were weaning. it was crazy painful, felt like the flu.
What bras do you recommend? I want something practical for night time that doesn’t need to clip down. I never used any practical nursing gear with my first and want this time around to be a little more functional
I guess the TL;DR is: start now, buy a bunch and see what works, then return the rest.
@SawyerRichardson what is the Hakaa?
I’m going to guess that this is a thing that varies by person.
Max and I are still trying to get the whole breastfeeding thing down, but for me, trying to collect the small amount that I leak from one breast while he is on the other isn’t worth it. However, I don’t have a supply issue, so I am not anxious about those few drops lost.
https://www.haakaa.co.nz/collections/breastfeeding
edited for autocorrect
that being said, i always had plenty of milk so a little amount was not going to make or break anything.
I remember the day I came home from the hospital, I went to take a shower and when I took my bra off, breastmilk just started *pouring* out of both boobs at once. I had to stand next to the shower with my hands cupped under my boobs and the milk was pouring over the sides of my hands to the floor. When I went to the hospital 6 days PP for an infection, I soaked through hospital gown after hospital gown and had to have my sheets changed 4 or 5 times in the 6 hours I was there. And I hadn't nursed or pumped at this point at all. I'm pretty sure I just have an excess of glandular tissue and I'll have an oversupply no matter what I do.
One thing I struggled with that I didn't know was a thing was breast aversion. As in ODD was afraid of my breasts. She would cry, arch away, and grow hysterical if I tried to latch her. I was able to latch her and nurse exactly 1 time with a nipple shield after doing a "rebirthing ceremony". This was likely due to a severe lip tie that wasn't diagnosed until well after I gave up trying to breastfeed. I'm definitely going to be on the look out for that from day 1 this time.
I have a question about breastmilk storage. When our roommate moved out, he left me a bunch of these little storage bowls / cups. I was delighted because I thought they would be perfect for storing breastmilk in our particular freezer situation (plus I never liked using the bags with ODD). Now I'm a little worried about thawing the milk because each cup holds 10 ounces whereas a typical milk storage bag holds 5-6. I'm worried about thawing that much milk at once and then not using it. Idk, I might be over thinking it lol but thoughts?
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Have you tried transferring liquids from the container? I always find bowls like that are messy to pour from.
But it might just be easier to only fill them to 4-5 ounces and freeze like that.
Did any of you STMs have to start back earlier than 12 weeks, and if so how did you make that transition? I'm not sure how to time things with starting pumping/introducing bottles/etc. LO will be in daycare when I go back, if that makes a difference.