Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
samd6
member
Re: Working Mamas - July
Are you doing anything to reduce stress? I could use some pointers for sure
*edited to finish the post lol
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
BFP#1: 11/15/2010 * Missed M/C 12/28 * D&C 12/29/2010
BFP#5 12/26/2017 *SURPRISE* Due 09/02/2018
How straight forward of a conversation can you have with your manager? I think it may be an option for your OB to recommend a reduced schedule for you, but that might cut into disability for you if you're planning on using that. If it were me, I would set up a meeting with your manager and ask for some accommodations. Maybe something like an extra chair on the floor of your store so you're able to sit, pre-determined break times where maybe you're available by phone only, if at all. I'd take a good look to see what happens if you start your mat leave early and if that makes sense for you and your H.
As for me, I'm counting down the weeks until I stop traveling to one of my sites that's located an hour away (7 left!). Otherwise, I'm working on some miscellaneous projects along with my regular work and nothing seems to be too much at this point. I'm uncomfortable and easily tired, but I would be no matter what.
@samd6 that sucks. Would your management team pick up the slack if they knew you were struggling? Can you be scheduled for less busy times of the day or take on more of the office tasks? Leaving work at work is hard but would likely help the stress level
@MandyMost yes find some yoga! It feels so nice to clear your head and stretch for an hour. I also feel better if I do something between leaving work and going home (the store, ice cream)
@crispy11 congratulations on being almost done!!!
@ellbeedee I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to stop in and see how things are going even if you aren't grooming. Could you schedule smaller dogs for yourself a couple days a week?
I also plan to work right up until delivery. I'm trying to get my field work finished up this month so I don't have to worry about it but it's nice that i have control over that schedule. I'm stressed because I have a new boss and he's nervous about doing everything right which is making me nervous that I'm missing something. Also I'm not super confident in the person they chose to cover for me to the point that I offered to start back to work a little sooner part time to make sure things get done correctly
I am planning on working up until I have the baby. I stopped traveling three weeks ago except for one potential visit in early August for some major issues. Things have been pretty hectic at work the last couple weeks, but I am hoping they will level out soon. Right now I have so many clients with major issues I am worried about going on leave, but also looking forward to it.
I'm due 9/20 and currently planning to have my first day of leave be Monday 9/17. I'm currently considering pushing it up a couple days so my first day out would be 9/13 which is DS's birthday. Figure it would be nice to do something special with him if I haven't had the baby yet.
I have a desk job though and the ability to work from home so barring medical reasons it doesn't make sense for me to use much leave time prior to giving birth.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
I am talking to my manager today do hoping hoping that goes well.
I cannot wait to meet my baby...forget about work for 4 months and not give a monkey...Health to all of you and your families, let's not talk about work anymore...I'm getting annoyed in here!!!!Ta-da!
The great maternity leave is one of the only reasons I haven’t left my company and found a new job!
lots of very busy ladies here! This will be a good thread for people as it seems most are trying to make it till the very end.
I’m going to try for the very end, but I lightened up my in court room (attorney) load the week before I’m due. The other attorney I split the firms case load with in our area is taking off almost all of August... haha, prepping herself for taking my whole case load during my maternity leave. So August will be a nightmare, and then hopefully mid spetember I can take it a bit easy.
My job is mostly a desk job along with a lot of meetings and presentations, although those don't typically ramp up until September and I will likely arrange for someone else to cover those starting at the beginning of the month.
@crispy11 Congrats on almost being finished!!
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
But I should note: I feel very fortunate to have the coverage I have as a retail manager. I know many people working retail just get FMLA and no paid leave.
My conversation with my manager regarding my peer went REALLY well. He recognized we have a problem here, and assured me that he is working toward a resolution for this peer and another (who is just bad at his job, not mean, just not good at what he does). He's hoping to have it all resolved before I go on leave so that I can feel confident coming back into a positive work environment. He let my peers know that I am allowed to take sit down breaks as I need them, and work from a seated position as appropriate. This all makes me feel a lot better about everything. He told me his primary concern is my health, and if I feel like I need to amend my schedule he is open to talking about it. He'd rather have me in store part time for the next 8 weeks than dipping out entirely.
@samd6 I hope the talk with your manager went well!
I took a month off before my EDD with DS. He ended up 11 days late (it’s his 2nd birthday today!) I’ll be doing the same for this one. So I only have 15 more days of work until I have 18 months off! DH took a higher paying job that he’ll enjoy 1000x more, so I was able to go back to the original plan of taking the 18 and not the 12.
@dairygirl93 happy birthday to your DS and yay for 18 months off!
I have a couple coworkers that keep asking if I'm coming back to work after this baby. It's super annoying and sexist. Also, Stanley, you didn't stay home and raise your kids how do you know it's a wonderful experience??? Honestly if anything DH would be the stay at home parent because my benefits are much better and I like my job more. Woah sorry for the rant
And like you said, no one ever asks the guy if they’re coming back. Or at least I’ve never heard it..... hmmmm... part of me thinks the reactions to that question would make a good study/video.
No one else even came close to asking.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
@magnolia209 your plan sounds incredibly confusing, I am sorry you have to deal with trying to figure it out and yet not officially having it approved.
I am a teacher so at the moment I am "off" but will work for about a month, pending whenever the baby comes. I am currently trying to get motivated to get my lesson plans going for leave. My district allows me to use sick time for 6 weeks (or 8 weeks if c-section). After that, I can use 5 family days that I have banked and 5 personal days I have banked. They will not allow us to use any other sick time we have accrued in excess of the initial 6 weeks. I am taking 10 weeks and will not get paid for 2 of the weeks. My district does not believe in allowing for paid "bonding time" with child. Shaking my head....
edited to tag the right person.
I am planning to pack my hospital bag this weekend - is it crazy to have it with me at work? I assume if I start feeling contractions I’ll just go home until it’s time to go to the hospital. Is there any reason that I’d need to go to the hospital immediately?
I wi then take 12 weeks off. It 6 weeks will be paid, but I made the decision early on that is what I wanted t do so I have been saving $$$ to supplement the bills while I will be off.
With our first I was planning on working up until 2-3 weeks before the due date. And then I went into Preterm Labour at 32 weeks. So I was put on sick leave prior to my maternity leave. And took a 1 year Maternity/Parental leave following Sick Leave at 55% of my wages (still needed to have income tax deducted so its not great pay)
This time around is quite different. Canada has the option now for an 18 months leave. So the first portion which is Maternity leave is the 55%
of your wages and if you extend to 18 months instead of 12 months then your pay drops to 33% of your wages when you hit Parental leave. Approx 15-17 weeks after baby is born for the remainder of your leave. I actually decided to take the 18 month leave this time around and took the summer off with our 4.5 yr old Autistic son. It made more sense for me to take an early Maternity leave at 31 weeks along then stay working all summer and having to pay for camps plus a support worker to join him for his enhanced needs. Plus I have a job where you stand all day. So I started Maternity leave at the end of June ( Dud date is September 1st) and if I return to work it will be December 2019/January 2020! It’s so
strange to register for daycare that far out but spots in an infant room are so difficult to get with our ratios here. Even a toddler room will be difficult. So we shall see how this all plays out. This is likely our last child as well.
31 weeks FTM and I'm a teacher on summer vacation. I was actually attacked by a student the day before we let out for spring break so I have not been back to school since spring break. My doctor signed paperwork for me to stay home on short term disability leave due to unsafe work environment because of my class. I went to the ER twice while pregnant because of that class and had multiple threats on my baby. I am getting nervous because school starts August 9th and I do have to go back until delivery. The EDD is September 17th so I am not looking forward to establishing procedures and setting up a whole new class right before my baby comes. I also have terrible carpal tunnel syndrome and edema. I know pregnant women are supposed to be super strong and put up with whatever comes their way but I am super exhausted all the time and have no idea what to expect when school starts. I really wish there was a way for working moms to have adequate time to rest while pregnant and after the baby comes to bond for a good amount of time before returning to work without going completely broke.
Good luck to everyone!