Oh, and about announcing - we plan on not posting on FB at all. I haven't enjoyed telling anyone in person, either. As soon as I tell someone I watch them go from happy to worried and they always say something like "but what about the birth?! What are you going to DO?!" Close friends and family know how close I came to bleeding out and how bad my recovery was. But I really don't want to talk about my "feelings" about this upcoming birth with anyone but my husband and ob, and I certainly don't want to talk to anyone but them about my delivery options. So it has been tough. I'd rather keep it a secret the entire time and just show up with a newborn.
My younger sister got diagnosed with MS today. I feel so sad for her. Physically and mentally she is doing great and does not have any limitations yet. But she is only 25 and now has to live with this disease for the rest of her life. I just hope the medication is effective for her and prevents any relapses.
@drabong88 a friend of mine from the fitness arena has MS and she still lifts heavy weights and is a kick butt single mom. She has her days where she gets knocked down but she gets back up. Big hugs to her.
I shared with a friend today that I'm pregnant (she has two little ones) and her response was "congratulations, etc." Then I mentioned that I hadn't really felt that nauseous this time around and she said, "not to scare you but with my miscarriage I didn't really have any symptoms." I was a little shocked and just responded that I'm 12 weeks (not that something can't happen now) and we've heard the heartbeat, etc. Just a little annoyed, everyone's body responds differently to pregnancy and just because my symptoms have not been as extreme doesn't make me more/less likely to experience loss.
@drabong88 oh that's really tough, I'm sorry! My cousin was diagnosed with MS 7 years ago when she was 19 years old and, while it took a while to figure the medication out, she's really been doing great and been living a totally normal life since then, with some bad days scattered here and there. My thoughts are with you and your family!
@drabong88 hugs to your sister!! I hope she responds well to her meds. Sending positive thoughts your way.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt what is wrong with her???? Even if she thought that, I can’t believe she actually said it to you as if the anxiety we put on ourselves isn't enough?! Think positive thoughts. You’re 12 weeks. Symptoms may not be as strong right now bc you may be feeling better as you enter into your second trimester. I’m sure she said it to look out for you in a way but I also wish she didn’t mention that bc that would definitely make me worry if I let it get to me (and how can it not?)!!
@AliKay20 Thank you for validating my feelings! I was thinking maybe I'm overreacting? I think her comment came from a good place but it was just so out of place. I'm not overly worried about my lack of symptoms, I just don't experience them very strongly (which I'm thankful for!) but yes, it caused a little bit of anxiety and second guessing if we should even be telling people.
@oaklandava I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope the police find out what happened.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt That was pretty crappy of your friend. You’re probably right in that she had good intentions but it still hurts. I’m almost 13 weeks and some of my symptoms are easing up but I’m not too worried about it. It’s nice to feel human again!
I had a couple job interviews this week that went well. One was at our local Cal State campus and the other was for a tutoring position at a tutoring center. I really want the job at the university but I would be happy with the tutoring job. It’s part time but it pays well and we wouldn’t have to pay for daycare since it’s evening hours. I will go back next week to meet with the owner.
@AliKay20 I typed up almost the same response but didn't hit post. @UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I understand where your friend was coming from in thinking those thoughts, but saying them outloud to your pregnant friend is a whole other thing. When you experience loss, at least for me, it's hard to let it go. You're constantly looking for signs if it's going to happen again. I know after my ectopic i would be lurking birth month boards and I would see posters mention an ectopic symptom I had (just 1) and it took everything in me not to say "it could be ectopic!" It was almost always fine. I'm glad I didn't cause any undue anxiety for anyone. What I've found is most people do have good intentions but they don't think about what they are saying. I don't really know what I'm trying to say. Symptoms come and go. They don't really mean anything in terms of how your pregnancy is progressing. Try not to let her words get to you and you can always vent to us about it here.
TL:DR - I think your friend probably didn't realize how her words could affect you. Try not to let it get to you.
@sfgiantsgamerbabe good luck with the job search!! It's always a stressful process. Hopefully you will find something that is a good fit for you and your family!
@galactickates Oh I did think, I need to vent this to the BMB. They will totally understand what I'm feeling. Glad you ladies are here!
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt my sister is a similar person to your friend, I hesitated to tell her I was pregnant bc I knew she'd say something awful. I'm so sorry that you had someone put fears in your head like that! Please remember all of the good positive things you already know about your pregnancy instead -- like that sweet little heartbeat!
@drabong88 I have two friends who have been diagnosed with MS over the past few years, and both of them handle it with such grace. They have their bad days, sure, but have mostly been able to keep up with their lives as if they didn't have this extra thing to struggle with. I think it makes them really love the parts of their lives they can control and the things they can do -- I know my physical ailments make me love the times that I am well and that I feel good, and I appreciate that. It's a sucky hand to for your sister to be dealt for sure, but I will keep her and your family in my thoughts as she navigates her journey successfully.
@drabong88 Just to add another positive outlook... I have a friend who is around 60 years old and he has MS. He hits the gym hard 5 days a week, rides a motorcycle, and does pretty much whatever he wants. Some days are definitely better than others, but I hope this helps provide some positive encouragement to you. It's always hard when someone close gets that kind of diagnosis, but she does have a chance at a very fulfilling life in spite of it. Keep your hopes up!
My random is more like a rant... My DH has an older friend who was my DH's mentor when DH was a child. They are very close. I honestly cannot stand the mentor guy, because he's loud, rudely opinionated, and just super obnoxious. Yesterday we were there visiting, and the guy told my husband to sort of bug bomb our cabin (vacation home) to keep the mosquitoes out, and my husband said he didn't think that was a great idea, especially with me being pregnant. My DH told him that I am careful with my health and the types of exposures I face right now. The guy turned to me and said, "That's the problem with your generation. You're going to raise that kid in a *bleeping* bubble."
I kid you not, it took all my strength to not only not say anything extremely rude back to him, but also to keep my hands from reaching out and slapping him hard.
Thanks everyone for your responses. I shared them with my sister and I think it helped hearing some positive stories. She has been going to the gym 4 or 5 times a week and has recently lost about 50lbs. She was doing everything she should be before she even got the diagnosis. She's had a really positive attitude and I'm proud of the way she is handling things.
@leighbrek what a jerk. Just because you don't want to expose your baby to unnecessary chemicals before they are even born. Some people should just learn to keep their mouths shut.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt, wow, what a weird thing for your friend to say! If it makes a difference, I had one loss with all of the symptoms and one loss with no symptoms. Symptoms or lack thereof have no impact on the health of a pregnancy, which I'm sure you already know.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Is this where we were talking about The Staircase?
I only needed to see half of the first phone call tp know he's guilty? Why is there a series on this? A hour special would have sufficed. We're all in agreement he's guilty right?
@galactickates I’m actually watching the 6th episode right now and still undecided! Do you mean the phone call to 911? I found that pretty convincing and it’s one of the main reasons I thought he may be innocent!
Maybe we should make a staircase thread. Would anyone else like to chat about it? I wrote a pretty graphic response but it doesn't feel appropriate to post it after what Oaklandava said she was going through. I'll start a thread if other people want to chat.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I'm sorry your friend said that I can see why she might think that, but you don't say it! Unfortunately, I have a similar friend. My friend just last week was straight up "You've been telling a lot of people, aren't you afraid something might happen? That's a lot of people to go back to." She had a friendly tone about it, but then it got worse. I said, "I've only told family and close friends, but I've been having symptoms and the nurse said the risk is super low at this point." to which she said..."I had symptoms before my miscarriage at 10 weeks."
Like what? I understand why she'd THINK it, but to say it? I brushed it aside because whatever and she's really got a great heart, but it bugged me.
I think some people just don't think about how their words will be taken before speaking them.
Thanks everybody.... it's been crazy to wrap your head around, or even try to. My son has been asking a lot of questions and what not and we're pretty open people, so we told him one of mommy's cheerleaders died and that's why I'm upset. So, he's been sweet and what not but he still brings it up because he's 4 and curious and it's just hard. Her funeral is next week I think so that will be another hurdle to cross. It's just all so devastating. She was honestly a person who could light up a room. She never had a bad day. She always pumped everybody up. She was just a joy.
Me: 31 I DH: 31
Met: 9/8/08; Engaged: 9/8/11; Married 6/30/12
TTC#1: 8/2013; BFP: 9/30/13; born June 2014 (boy) TTC#2: 2/2018; BFP: 2/26/18; MC 4/4/18. TTC#2: 4/2018; BFP: 5/12/18; EDD: 1/19/19 (boy) 2 fur babies: Oakley Marley (11.5) & Ava Lynn (2)
@achays11 Yes, the app has been extra obnoxious the last two days. It takes forever to load any page, and can be impossible to get to the Jan 19 board. Hitting back from a thread takes me to the main menu where you can select any of the boards, while clicking Jan 19 just brings me back to the thread I just left. It's so frustrating!
@drabong88 My heart goes out to your sister and family.
@galactickates I'd be up for a 'the staircase' thread. We are on episode 2 as well and agree that is probably doesn't need to be a 10 part series! It's pretty slow.
I'd like a Staircase thread! I started watching yesterday after reading the conversation on here about it. But no, I don't think he's guilty @galactickates. I actually think he's 100% innocent.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt sorry your friend was insensitive and wkuandrea my sister is a bit similar too. Of course that would hurt/scare/bother you and that's totally natural. I would try to protect yourself from the friend and maybe not tell her anything else about the pregnancy for now unless she asks.
My sister knows me and DH were trying for 3 years to get pregnant and did IVF to get here. When I sent her an ultrasound where she finally looks a bit like a baby, my sister text back "How big is she actually?" I said a raspberry or something and she responded "Call me when she's the size of an orange." She is mean but tries to spin it as a joke. I try to not talk much about being pregnant with her because I know she will say something else to hurt me.
@greenhillgirl echoing others here. I know it’s so so hard not letting others get to you w what they say but with pregnancy hormones and symptoms, one comment can really mess with you. Sorry you had to hear that. I really hope you’re able to not let it bother you so much!
There needs to be a list somewhere on #shitpeoplesaytopregnantpeople. A list we can take and burn.
@AliKay20 That would be an awesome ongoing thread! I'm always astounded by the clueless comments and unsolicited advice that people will say to pregnant women.
A good friend of mine loves heels, and was able to wear boots with a thick heel into her 8th month of pregnancy. Once, she was walking from her office to grab lunch along a busy city street. A complete stranger driving by saw her, pulled over to the side of the road, and shouted out the window "Oh Honey, those heels ain't good for baby!"
Re: Weekly Randoms 6/25
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
@Mandamay1414 how scary! I'm glad she's recovering well!
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
I shared with a friend today that I'm pregnant (she has two little ones) and her response was "congratulations, etc." Then I mentioned that I hadn't really felt that nauseous this time around and she said, "not to scare you but with my miscarriage I didn't really have any symptoms." I was a little shocked and just responded that I'm 12 weeks (not that something can't happen now) and we've heard the heartbeat, etc. Just a little annoyed, everyone's body responds differently to pregnancy and just because my symptoms have not been as extreme doesn't make me more/less likely to experience loss.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt what is wrong with her???? Even if she thought that, I can’t believe she actually said it to you as if the anxiety we put on ourselves isn't enough?! Think positive thoughts. You’re 12 weeks. Symptoms may not be as strong right now bc you may be feeling better as you enter into your second trimester. I’m sure she said it to look out for you in a way but I also wish she didn’t mention that bc that would definitely make me worry if I let it get to me (and how can it not?)!!
@AliKay20 Thank you for validating my feelings! I was thinking maybe I'm overreacting? I think her comment came from a good place but it was just so out of place. I'm not overly worried about my lack of symptoms, I just don't experience them very strongly (which I'm thankful for!) but yes, it caused a little bit of anxiety and second guessing if we should even be telling people.
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt That was pretty crappy of your friend. You’re probably right in that she had good intentions but it still hurts. I’m almost 13 weeks and some of my symptoms are easing up but I’m not too worried about it. It’s nice to feel human again!
I had a couple job interviews this week that went well. One was at our local Cal State campus and the other was for a tutoring position at a tutoring center. I really want the job at the university but I would be happy with the tutoring job. It’s part time but it pays well and we wouldn’t have to pay for daycare since it’s evening hours. I will go back next week to meet with the owner.
TL:DR - I think your friend probably didn't realize how her words could affect you. Try not to let it get to you.
@sfgiantsgamerbabe good luck with the job search!! It's always a stressful process. Hopefully you will find something that is a good fit for you and your family!
@galactickates Oh I did think, I need to vent this to the BMB. They will totally understand what I'm feeling. Glad you ladies are here!
@drabong88 I have two friends who have been diagnosed with MS over the past few years, and both of them handle it with such grace. They have their bad days, sure, but have mostly been able to keep up with their lives as if they didn't have this extra thing to struggle with. I think it makes them really love the parts of their lives they can control and the things they can do -- I know my physical ailments make me love the times that I am well and that I feel good, and I appreciate that. It's a sucky hand to for your sister to be dealt for sure, but I will keep her and your family in my thoughts as she navigates her journey successfully.
Andrea -- FTM at 39!
My random is more like a rant... My DH has an older friend who was my DH's mentor when DH was a child. They are very close. I honestly cannot stand the mentor guy, because he's loud, rudely opinionated, and just super obnoxious. Yesterday we were there visiting, and the guy told my husband to sort of bug bomb our cabin (vacation home) to keep the mosquitoes out, and my husband said he didn't think that was a great idea, especially with me being pregnant. My DH told him that I am careful with my health and the types of exposures I face right now. The guy turned to me and said, "That's the problem with your generation. You're going to raise that kid in a *bleeping* bubble."
I kid you not, it took all my strength to not only not say anything extremely rude back to him, but also to keep my hands from reaching out and slapping him hard.
@leighbrek what a jerk. Just because you don't want to expose your baby to unnecessary chemicals before they are even born. Some people should just learn to keep their mouths shut.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I only needed to see half of the first phone call tp know he's guilty? Why is there a series on this? A hour special would have sufficed.
We're all in agreement he's guilty right?
Maybe we should make a staircase thread. Would anyone else like to chat about it?
I wrote a pretty graphic response but it doesn't feel appropriate to post it after what Oaklandava said she was going through. I'll start a thread if other people want to chat.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
TTC#2: 2/2018; BFP: 2/26/18; MC 4/4/18.
TTC#2: 4/2018; BFP: 5/12/18; EDD: 1/19/19 (boy)
2 fur babies: Oakley Marley (11.5) & Ava Lynn (2)
@oaklandava I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! My prayers go out to you and her family.
@sweetyjenj people really don’t think before they speak!
@galactickates I'd be up for a 'the staircase' thread. We are on episode 2 as well and agree that is probably doesn't need to be a 10 part series! It's pretty slow.
My sister knows me and DH were trying for 3 years to get pregnant and did IVF to get here. When I sent her an ultrasound where she finally looks a bit like a baby, my sister text back "How big is she actually?" I said a raspberry or something and she responded "Call me when she's the size of an orange." She is mean but tries to spin it as a joke. I try to not talk much about being pregnant with her because I know she will say something else to hurt me.
There needs to be a list somewhere on #shitpeoplesaytopregnantpeople. A list we can take and burn.
A good friend of mine loves heels, and was able to wear boots with a thick heel into her 8th month of pregnancy. Once, she was walking from her office to grab lunch along a busy city street. A complete stranger driving by saw her, pulled over to the side of the road, and shouted out the window "Oh Honey, those heels ain't good for baby!"