People have brought up how uncomfortable they are to post here. I'm going to assume the cat claws coming out and the roasting of multiple people have something to do with this.
I'm with the person who said that it would be nice to not have anyone in the room during/after the birth (sorry, I'd name you but I'm on the app and it's annoying to find your post). I'd like to go home and be like, "Hey, surprise! There's a baby!" Et voilà, c'est tout.
I definitely plan to only have DH in the room. I might have had my mom come in for the early non - pushing parts if she was still alive, but the idea of having my dad or in laws in the room is just.... No.
I think actual labor/birth photos are weird and gross. Obviously to each their own, you do you, etc, etc, but I cannot relate in any way to the desire to have pictures of that. DH pulled out his baby book the other day, and we were both very surprised to see a picture of him taken seconds after birth. With my gag reflex on a hair trigger these days, I very nearly had to run to the bathroom.
I agree that it's fairly slow in here. I wish I could contribute more, but work has been nutty lately. Also, sorry I forgot to start WTF Wednesday yesterday, but I definitely spent most of the day thinking it was Thursday.
Apparently my UO is the “cat claws” or mean posts on here are NOTHING compared to the old bump days a good 4 years ago.
My BMB for my son created a FB group right around when we gave birth that was invite only and we still have 90+ members..... 50 of which post pretty regulalrly. Let me tell you though- THOSE days were the mean posts. Now with all the new rules..... bump is boring and I struggle to find anything worth responding or posting. Still hoping it’s early and things change...
I think it came up in this board a month or so ago that “you can’t know what kind of mother you’ll be” as a clapback to FTMs talking about things they will and won’t do with their kids (ie I would never cosleep etc etc). It bothered me because I have stuck to my guns with how I planned to raise my daughter (so far at least). So my UO is that just because some moms change their expectations/priorities and make decisions they never thought they would (nothing wrong w that either), that doesn’t mean ALL moms will do it ....so let the FTMs dream. Some will do what they say, some won’t. Just like anything else.
I agree with this in the regard to parenting ideals. For example, there are certain behaviors that will not be tolerated in our home (such as disrespect), but we’ve had to try different methods of discipline with DS because what we initially tried wasn’t working. The poor behavior still isn’t tolerated, but I’m open to different routes of getting there.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
My UO: Writing your birth plan down is a waste of time. My doctor gave me this form to fill out and looked over it once (prior to labor), the nurses never asked about it and my "plans" went out the window as soon as I checked into the hospital. You can have an idea of how you want things to go but I think it just sets you up for failure if things don't go "exactly as planned."
@featherchicki DH and I taught my mom in a crash course how to use our DSLR camera so she could be there and take pictures. I wanted my mom there regardless, but I'm SO GLAD I have these birth pictures, even if they're only for us. I would never have let me dad in there, though. My mom birthed me, so I felt less weird letting her in there. The only man in the room though that needs to see a child come out of my vagina is my husband and the doctor (if it ends up being a man). Just my opinion, though.
I didn’t have much of a birth plan except talking about it w my OBGYN. He asked if I wanted to get induced after certain weeks and we looked at some dates he was on call for the hospital. I told him it was okay to have one of his partners deliver me so we decided not to go that route unless it was medically necessary. Baby came a month early and while in labor, I wasn’t so fixated on the way I was supposed to have this baby. It was more scary in a rather calming way not knowing the unknown since my water broke so early. I do agree that if I had every step written out the way I visioned my birth to go, I probably would have been way more upset about the situation.
I recall the ER nurse saying to me while hooking me up on IV (btw TOTALLY did not think about this part when getting admitted. This scared me more than the labor part bc needles and so close to your wrist bone, AHHH - FTMs, I may be overexaggerating here bc I’m scared of needles):
“Listen, I had one kid without an epidural and one kid with one. No one is going to give you a trophy for doing this whole thing without an epidural. If you can’t take the pain, remember that it’s okay to get one. You want a healthy baby at the end and that’s what matters.” *POKE NEEDLE, HOOK IV*
That message replayed in my head the entire night I was laboring. It may not have meant much to her the way it meant to me but I felt less pressured and OK about getting one afterall.
I want absolutely no one but my husband in there when i deliver. If he couldn’t be there for some reason I do have one friend I’d ask to be there. I love my mom and MIL but no f-ing way. I don’t judge people who do though, I just don’t have that kind of relationship with either of them.
after i delivered DS I told my sister and parents to come in a few hours. They rushed right to the hospital, and came up to the delivery floor. I was literally just finished getting stitched and a nurse was like “oh you have visitors!” I was SO mad. I texted my sister and told them to get into the elevator and go to the lobby NOW and that I would let them know when I was in my room. I know they were just excited but the fact that they just completely disregarded what i said was so frustrating. I think this time we’ll wait to tell anyone the baby is here until we’re settled in our room.
I’ve actually found that I get a lot of negative reactions for having my babies without an epidural or any pain meds. When it comes up, many of the first reactions I’ve received have been these (or similar to them,) “You’re crazy.” “It’s not like you get a trophy for it, or anything.” “They have epidurals for a reason. I think it’s just stupid to go without.”
I do not shame people for their childbirth experiences; why do so many feel the need to shame me for mine? Especially the trophy thing; I hear that a lot. I didn’t do it this way for recognition or some type of non-existent reward, and neither did anyone else I know who chose childbirth without meds.
@AliKay20 the IV did suck and I’m totally ok w needles, always watch while they stick me, etc. it’s on your wrist so you can’t really use your hand for anything and they won’t let you switch wrists or take it out once it’s in (I asked Bc I hated it). I remember at one point they wanted me to try laboring on all fours and I was like GONNA HAVE TO BE THREE because I couldn’t bend my wrist like that. Granted it was only a year ago but I still have the scar from the IV. I really hope I remember to ask for it in my non dominant hand next time so I can at least wipe my ass.
@libertymomrn I think you'd be surprised by how many people are expecting a trophy, like it's a point of weakness to get the epidural. I also had a med-free birth, and I am kind of proud of it, but I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't scream for an epidural when it was too late.. lol
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@Potterphile I cringed reading your story just now. I remember this part so very well and wondered why no one talked about this process!!! Minor details but wow, that IV poke was no joke. And now I’m a poet. Jk.
@libertymomrn I’m all about whatever you want with your own birth here and will not judge others for going med free. However, it depends on how you say it too — there could be a bit of indirect shaming on those that have not gone med free under the comment of “hey y’all, I just gave birth without any meds/completely NATURAL.” Not saying you’d be that type to rub it in like this but it really sounds like they do want some sort of recognition - perhaps not an actual trophy but these comments don’t come across very well.
@Potterphile I cringed reading your story just now. I remember this part so very well and wondered why no one talked about this process!!! Minor details but wow, that IV poke was no joke. And now I’m a poet. Jk.
Ok so what’s the IV deal? Is it just a normal IV but they put it in your wrist? Is it on top, like on the back of your hand? Or is it really on the inside of the wrist?
@featherchicki Mine was in the top of my wrist. I think they typically do it in case you have to have an emergency c-section and they have to push fluids quickly. Then they already have a line set up. (someone else should confirm)
They told me they had to have a line in me at all times while I was under their care... even after the birth. It’s just a thicker needle in a bad place.
I can’t speak for everyone else but mine was on my left arm right above or on my wrist!!! I just googled (don’t do this, bad idea if you can’t take this stuff) and some are actually above your hand(?). Anyway, mine hurt since there isn’t a whole lot of skin around that area and it was totally unexpected. Wish I had some warning, lol.
After giving birth, I thought the hard part was over. Then the nurse came in one day (close to discharge) and said “look away, I’m taking your IV out!”
NOOOOOOO. I put all my fears into my frowns and looked like an english bulldog with all these lines on my forehead. Good thing it’s usually quick (though it feels like forever atm).
I felt like a huge failure when certain methods didn’t work with DD. I just wish I had accepted DD as she is earlier instead of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It wasn’t productive and led to a lot of guilt and frustration. For some people everything will work out they way they hope and some people may have to adapt and try different things and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Ugh, I had a really hard time with the IV. I have a needle phobia (which I surprisingly haven’t gotten over even after giving myself shots in the stomach and pricking my finger multiple times a day). It took a long time because she kept missing and I made her wait for awhile in between tries. And they made me keep it in for 24 hours after giving birth.
Ugh. The IV. Mine was on the top of my left hand an inch or so above my wrist. And then when I had to have an iron bolus the day after my c section it blew out. They had to re-do it after that and thankfully the second one held through the additional two iron bolus’s as well as the initial and then 24 hour magnesium drip.
Me: 28 DH: 26 Married: November 2015 TTC#1: January 2016 BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16 BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17 DD Born 06/23/17 TFAS: April 2018 BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
Nobody will be at the birth aside from DH. With DS's birth, MIL hinted that her other DIL let her in the room the entire time and she sat quietly in the corner while she labored. Nope. No thanks. I don't need anyone else ring-side of my bodily functions while I labor a kid out. With DS, I naively thought I wanted a birth photographer in the room. Glad I came to my senses.
My UO: I was at the aquarium today with DS and DH. There was a baby who looked to be between the age of 12-18 months and the child was BAREFOOT walking around. I think that is disgusting.
Lurking from December: part of the reason why the IV is huge, and in your hand/wrist is so in case of an emergency they can transfuse a ton of blood into you if you’re losing a lot of blood.
The app sucks and the website keeps logging me out so I have little patience for it right now. I do wish it wasn't so glitchy so I could post more but whatever
It's interesting when people talk about this board being so tame. My last BMB was way more tame than this one. We gave up on UO threads because no one ever posted anything.
I am freaking out a bit about the IV discussions. It took two people 4 tries to get the IV needle in for my egg retrieval, and it seems like this needle is even bigger. I guess I will need to make sure I really hydrate before going to the hospital!
@AshVA for my daughter they tried SO MANY TIMES. They finally had to have the anesthesiologist come in and put it in my arm. I know they have a reason for the IV. As Dec 18 chick mentioned it's good for blood transfusions in case it's necessary. I know it's also good if you have to have an emergency c/s and they have to do general anesthesia for some reason but damn it's a pain. I didn't however need it the whole time I was in the hospital so I don't know about that. Then again I delivered somewhere else last time so I have no idea what will happen this go.
I had a bruise for weeks after my IV. Mine was on the side of my forearm above the little wrist ball. Did hurt so much getting it but hurt after taking it out for sure. And when they did the blood draw at my first intake appointment this time, the lady was so rough and I had a bruise for over a month where she did it. I have GREAT veins, easy to find and they don't roll...not sure why she was so rough but that did hurt.
We could do themed U/O's or FFFC's Weddings food Relationships Clothes Sex Pregnancy Baby showers
IDK just a brain storm, I don't care either way
I probably have UO about all of these!
Weddings- I think it ridiculous when people seem to put more time, effort into preparing for their wedding than preparing for the actual marriage. A girl I work with was a total bridezilla and spent 18 months planning a $70,000 wedding. We spent $2,500, and could’ve done it for less except there were things that were important to his mom and my mom that they wanted to do. Frankly, I didn’t care about the decorations or the center pieces or any of that stuff; I just wanted to be married to the love of my life!
Food- I may not have many unpopular opinions about food. I love food. Pretty much all food. I love he traditional familiar foods like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I love more exotic food like Thai food, and French food. I love trying different foods. I love food and am glad that good food is a part of my life.
Food- I may not have many unpopular opinions about food. I love food. Pretty much all food. I love he traditional familiar foods like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I love more exotic food like Thai food, and French food. I love trying different foods. I love food and am glad that good food is a part of my life.
My UO on weddings and how much people spend: IDGAF and if they can afford it, that’s great. If they can’t but still want to throw a big wedding, that’s their problem to work out. I don’t think the amount of how much you spend on your wedding forecasts how successful the marriage is going to be. Same goes for big diamond engagement rings. If that’s what some of my friends have regardless of their income level and it’s what they wanted, I’m happy for them. When people hate on those who have big rings and question their future marriage or question their decision on it, I have a bigger question on why any of this matters to those people. It’s not your ring; you’re not the one that has to wear it every single day and just bc your rings are cheaper and weren’t major parts of your engagement and marriage does not mean better quality of relationship and vice versa.
LTDR: IDGAF on how much people spend on their wedding or engagement/wedding rings!
Maybe my UO is that I have no desire to labor without an epidural? I tried for a few hours with DD (I had plans to walk the halls, snack, etc) but I was only at a 4 and had contractions coming every 2 minutes with barely any break.. got the epidural and then binged watched House with DH for the next 6 hours or so.. I thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance... yeah nope... I'll be getting an epidural as soon as I'm admitted this time. I barely slept the night DD was born and had a difficult first few days PP.. I can't imagine being functional if I hadn't been able to "rest" during labor.
Maybe my UO is that I have no desire to labor without an epidural? I tried for a few hours with DD (I had plans to walk the halls, snack, etc) but I was only at a 4 and had contractions coming every 2 minutes with barely any break.. got the epidural and then binged watched House with DH for the next 6 hours or so.. I thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance... yeah nope... I'll be getting an epidural as soon as I'm admitted this time. I barely slept the night DD was born and had a difficult first few days PP.. I can't imagine being functional if I hadn't been able to "rest" during labor.
This was pretty much me. I wanted to see how far I could go, and made it to 4cm. Then I rested for the night. I’ll do the same again this time, but definitely won’t hesitate to get one.
I don't know what I'm going to do regarding an epidural this time. It didn't work on me with either of my kids. Maybe they were on the conservative side with the meds. Maybe I'm just weird. I labored with both before the epidural for quite awhile and so I don't know. I do know that it helped ease some of the pain so it worked a little but I still felt EVERYTHING and I was still in pain the whole time. So why pay for it. I don't know. I'll probably get it again anyway because it does help a bit. I don't regret getting it with either. I wish it worked better.
Maybe my UO is that I have no desire to labor without an epidural? I tried for a few hours with DD (I had plans to walk the halls, snack, etc) but I was only at a 4 and had contractions coming every 2 minutes with barely any break.. got the epidural and then binged watched House with DH for the next 6 hours or so.. I thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance... yeah nope... I'll be getting an epidural as soon as I'm admitted this time. I barely slept the night DD was born and had a difficult first few days PP.. I can't imagine being functional if I hadn't been able to "rest" during labor.
This was pretty much me. I wanted to see how far I could go, and made it to 4cm. Then I rested for the night. I’ll do the same again this time, but definitely won’t hesitate to get one.
Same! Though my situation was a tad bit different. I was induced and just not progressing. I got my epidural after about 17 hours of active back labor with contractions almost constantly (the last three of which were spent standing and rocking back and forth because I literally couldn’t lay down). My induction was just not working and my OB told me I could get a c section if I needed or I could start the whole process over again that night. I wanted to make a smart decision and didn’t feel like I could so I went for the epidural. Unfortunately the epidural pushed me into needing a c section, but that’s a story for a different day.
Me: 28 DH: 26 Married: November 2015 TTC#1: January 2016 BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16 BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17 DD Born 06/23/17 TFAS: April 2018 BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
I don’t understand why anyone cares how much someone spends on their wedding. I spent a lot, it was a blast, and I haven’t regretted one dime of it. It’s something I only want to do once and I wanted it to be fun and memorable. It was, and 6 years later I still enjoy looking back at the photos (and am glad I spent money on a good photog).
Maybe my UO is that I have no desire to labor without an epidural? I tried for a few hours with DD (I had plans to walk the halls, snack, etc) but I was only at a 4 and had contractions coming every 2 minutes with barely any break.. got the epidural and then binged watched House with DH for the next 6 hours or so.. I thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance... yeah nope... I'll be getting an epidural as soon as I'm admitted this time. I barely slept the night DD was born and had a difficult first few days PP.. I can't imagine being functional if I hadn't been able to "rest" during labor.
This is me too. I was in too much pain to progress properly and as soon as I got the epidurals at 4-5cm, I was ready to push in 1-2 hours. It’s like my body could relax and do its thing and it all went so much better at that point. They also worked great and I didn’t feel a thing. I told my husband I wanted to marry the anesthesiologist haha I’m getting it as soon as possible this time!
I don’t understand why anyone cares how much someone spends on their wedding. I spent a lot, it was a blast, and I haven’t regretted one dime of it. It’s something I only want to do once and I wanted it to be fun and memorable. It was, and 6 years later I still enjoy looking back at the photos (and am glad I spent money on a good photog).
It’s not like I care in the sense that I’m saying, “Boy, I wish that person hadn’t spent so much on their wedding.” It’s just something that I would never do because I feel it’s a waste.
That said, I’m sure I spend money on things other people think are a waste. I spend quite a decent amount of money every month on lessons for my kids. My son is a brown belt in karate and is in a fairly elite black belt training course right now. My daughter just made an advance competition dance team. Some people probably feel that’s a waste of money, but I personally feel that those things are valuable for my children.
Food- I may not have many unpopular opinions about food. I love food. Pretty much all food. I love he traditional familiar foods like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I love more exotic food like Thai food, and French food. I love trying different foods. I love food and am glad that good food is a part of my life.
This reads like a poem about food
Yes, we’ll my opinions about sex are quite similar, but I figured the detailed descriptions were more appropriate regarding food.
Re: UO (Unpopular Opinion) 6/28/18
I'm with the person who said that it would be nice to not have anyone in the room during/after the birth (sorry, I'd name you but I'm on the app and it's annoying to find your post). I'd like to go home and be like, "Hey, surprise! There's a baby!" Et voilà, c'est tout.
I think actual labor/birth photos are weird and gross. Obviously to each their own, you do you, etc, etc, but I cannot relate in any way to the desire to have pictures of that. DH pulled out his baby book the other day, and we were both very surprised to see a picture of him taken seconds after birth. With my gag reflex on a hair trigger these days, I very nearly had to run to the bathroom.
I agree that it's fairly slow in here. I wish I could contribute more, but work has been nutty lately. Also, sorry I forgot to start WTF Wednesday yesterday, but I definitely spent most of the day thinking it was Thursday.
My BMB for my son created a FB group right around when we gave birth that was invite only and we still have 90+ members..... 50 of which post pretty regulalrly. Let me tell you though- THOSE days were the mean posts. Now with all the new rules..... bump is boring and I struggle to find anything worth responding or posting. Still hoping it’s early and things change...
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
My UO: Writing your birth plan down is a waste of time. My doctor gave me this form to fill out and looked over it once (prior to labor), the nurses never asked about it and my "plans" went out the window as soon as I checked into the hospital. You can have an idea of how you want things to go but I think it just sets you up for failure if things don't go "exactly as planned."
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
I recall the ER nurse saying to me while hooking me up on IV (btw TOTALLY did not think about this part when getting admitted. This scared me more than the labor part bc needles and so close to your wrist bone, AHHH - FTMs, I may be overexaggerating here bc I’m scared of needles):
“Listen, I had one kid without an epidural and one kid with one. No one is going to give you a trophy for doing this whole thing without an epidural. If you can’t take the pain, remember that it’s okay to get one. You want a healthy baby at the end and that’s what matters.” *POKE NEEDLE, HOOK IV*
That message replayed in my head the entire night I was laboring. It may not have meant much to her the way it meant to me but I felt less pressured and OK about getting one afterall.
after i delivered DS I told my sister and parents to come in a few hours. They rushed right to the hospital, and came up to the delivery floor. I was literally just finished getting stitched and a nurse was like “oh you have visitors!” I was SO mad. I texted my sister and told them to get into the elevator and go to the lobby NOW and that I would let them know when I was in my room. I know they were just excited but the fact that they just completely disregarded what i said was so frustrating. I think this time we’ll wait to tell anyone the baby is here until we’re settled in our room.
I do not shame people for their childbirth experiences; why do so many feel the need to shame me for mine? Especially the trophy thing; I hear that a lot. I didn’t do it this way for recognition or some type of non-existent reward, and neither did anyone else I know who chose childbirth without meds.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@libertymomrn I’m all about whatever you want with your own birth here and will not judge others for going med free. However, it depends on how you say it too — there could be a bit of indirect shaming on those that have not gone med free under the comment of “hey y’all, I just gave birth without any meds/completely NATURAL.” Not saying you’d be that type to rub it in like this but it really sounds like they do want some sort of recognition - perhaps not an actual trophy but these comments don’t come across very well.
@featherchicki Mine was in the top of my wrist. I think they typically do it in case you have to have an emergency c-section and they have to push fluids quickly. Then they already have a line set up. (someone else should confirm)
After giving birth, I thought the hard part was over. Then the nurse came in one day (close to discharge) and said “look away, I’m taking your IV out!”
NOOOOOOO. I put all my fears into my frowns and looked like an english bulldog with all these lines on my forehead. Good thing it’s usually quick (though it feels like forever atm).
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
My UO: I was at the aquarium today with DS and DH. There was a baby who looked to be between the age of 12-18 months and the child was BAREFOOT walking around. I think that is disgusting.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Weddings
food
Relationships
Clothes
Sex
Pregnancy
Baby showers
IDK just a brain storm, I don't care either way
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Weddings- I think it ridiculous when people
seem to put more time, effort into preparing for their wedding than preparing for the actual marriage. A girl I work with was a total bridezilla and spent 18 months planning a $70,000 wedding. We spent $2,500, and could’ve done it for less except there were things that were important to his mom and my mom that they wanted to do. Frankly, I didn’t care about the decorations or the center pieces or any of that stuff; I just wanted to be married to the love of my life!
food. I love he traditional familiar foods like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I love more exotic food like Thai food, and French food. I love trying different foods. I love food and am glad that good food is a part of my life.
LTDR: IDGAF on how much people spend on their wedding or engagement/wedding rings!
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
That said, I’m sure I spend money on things other people think are a waste. I spend quite a decent amount of money every month on lessons for my kids. My son is a brown belt in karate and is in a fairly elite black belt training course right now. My daughter just made an advance competition dance team. Some people probably feel that’s a waste of money, but I personally feel that those things are valuable for my children.