Me: 34 DH: 34
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1 February '18
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
Re: Monday BF
DH was in the ER with MIL last night from 6pm-11:30pm. When he got home, he was overtired and couldn't fall asleep, so all he wanted to do was talk. All I wanted to do was sleep! I know this is not very loving of me, but after all that time, the ER sent MIL home telling her that they didn't find anything wrong and to check in with her PCP. Part of me thinks she isn't telling them everything that is wrong, so they can't diagnose anything with what little info they have, and the other part of me thinks she made the whole thing up just to spend time with DH. I know that sounds horrible of me, but she has pulled crap like this before so it wouldn't totally shock me...
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
1. They gave me babies that had a hep B positive mom at work this weekend. I asked the charge nurse (who usually works weekend days and seems to hate me) if she knew mom was hep B positive. She said she did. Ok end of conversation with her. I said to my coworkers in the nursery I've never worked somewhere where they gave pregnant nurses patients with communicable diseases. Yeah sure if you wash your hands, use gloves, etc you should be fine, but why chance it when there are 2 lives that could be affected? Apparently one of my lovely coworkers went to said charge nurse and said I wasn't happy with my assignment. I am 95% sure I know who it is and interestingly enough she was complaining about her own assignment. Like I didn't throw a big fit, I was just annoyed and surprised. I did my job just fine without problem through the night. I HATE when people run to others tattling on coworkers. First off it really wasn't that big of a deal, and secondly WTF?! I feel like I'm going to go to work and stay in my own bubble and only talk to the few people I know I can trust there. Don't pretend you're my friend and do that crap behind my back.
2. DH's brother & his wife are having a baby! I initially was SUPER excited (and still am). This was a huge shock as last we knew they were not having kids until at least 35 (2-3 more years). They live in CO and went back to KS to tell DH's family. They told people they were coming home for DH's sisters birthday which was Friday. Apparently there was a cookout/get together and we didn't know anything about it until after the fact. Like DH's brother didn't say anything to DH to see if we could go back to KS too (we're 10 hours away). DH's mom didn't say anything... no one. If it was last minute we wouldn't have been able to make it, but if it was planned a little in advance we would have tried to. We haven't seen DH's brother and wife for almost 2 years. So while I was so excited for DS and this baby to finally have a cousin, I feel like clearly we aren't a priority to anyone in DH's family so it won't really matter anyway.
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
My BF is that I just found out that every MFM visit I have is going to cost me $50 (with visits every other week, for now, and eventually weekly or more frequent). My OB visits are included in the global Maternity fee, but the MFM visits aren't. I get that he's a specialist and that the diagnostic work they're doing during those visits is covered at 100%, but it's a necessary part of my maternity care so I feel like it should be covered in the overall global fee!! I also feel like I shouldn't be upset because, overall, my insurance is awesome for the standard pregnancy care. It's just frustrating how quickly the $$$ are adding up.
My OB wanted to do it tomorrow, but decided not to schedule it since I was seeing the MFM and he expected him to do it (soon).
Yeah, no. I'm calling my OB once the office reopens from their lunch break and scheduling it through them.
Also, WTF to the 2 hour wait for my appointment with the MFM this morning? I got there early and wasn't seen for over 2 hours past my scheduled appointment time.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
@smulrich16 Ugh, that's a bummer! Does any of those costs go towards your deductible? Or do you have an FSA plan you can sign up for to help?
@MojieJo Sorry you had to wait and had a less than great appointment. I saw your post in the appt thread too and I really hope you can get through to the office to get in tomorrow to have your AS. Fingers crossed!!
@mockingjay1 and @bfpafter4years Thank you. I had to step away because I thought maybe I got too sensitive, but I'm glad you read that the same way I did..
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
Also, @LoveyMe Not cool dude. We’re a supportive board, 100%. Differences of opinion are important and welcome but, the tone....
@MojieJo Giiiirrrrrllll I would’ve left. That’s a ridiculous wait time.
@smulrich16 I completely feel you on this. It sounds to me like they should cover it. Can you call your insurance company and argue it?
DH’s company still hasn’t jumped on the employee health insurance bandwagon so it costs us $320/month for prenatal care. Not including the cost for blood tests and u/s. And I of course remembered last night that we’ll be paying out of pocket for the tdap shot and the strep test, all of those extras. It really adds up. DH is going to talk to his boss about helping to cover the costs as reimbursements, so FINGERS CROSSED there. He’s their only sales rep and he’s already doing WAY more than the share of work they hired him for, so he’s inexpendable. I’m really hoping they’ll do whatever they can to make him stay. I mean, insurance is sort of a deal breaker.
And they got super snippy when my husband asked if that sort of wait time was normal for them (he took a half day off work to go with me and then almost didn't make it in on time).
I was tempted to tell them that if it is normal, is be coming in an hour or two after my scheduled appointment time.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
@tessiesmom26 you definitely weren’t being overly sensitive! I hope MIL ends up being ok though.
@mousemama817 I hope they can help reimburse. That seems like a lot!
@smulrich16 totally feel you on how fast it all adds up!
Not really sure how your comment to @tessiesmom26 was contributing your own friendly vibe to the group/getting to know her.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
And we're like: we know. And we also know that whatever we've imagined, it will be worse/different, and that's okay. Yes, Hubby is a clean freak, but he is not stupid either: he knows the house will often be a mess.
Is it the hormones again? What are you ladies answering to those comments?
@EvilRaccoon - I'm sure your mom is trying to be funny, but I think it's weird when people make parenthood sound awful. If people say things like that to me and they have more than one kid I usually say something to the effect of "it must not have been too bad, you had more than one!"
@MojieJo - a 2 hour wait is ridiculous. Does your MFM doc deliver babies? That's the only reason I can think of for being that late. Hopefully it was just a fluke. Although that plus the not having an anatomy scan scheduled at an appropriate time would not give me a lot of confidence in that office.
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
If I were you, I'd have a talk with my mom about it - calmly and rationally. If she's anything like my mom, she'll be super dramatic about it and make a comment like, "Geeze, can't you guys just take a joke" or "Yeah, cause I've never raised kids before," but your DH is your partner in all of this and now is the time to set some boundaries. You can do it, mama!
I don't know why people think those comments are cute or helpful. I agree, she's probably just trying to be funny, but I would definitely be annoyed, too. Maybe there's something more deeply rooted there, too. Maybe she really misses those days and making them seem unpleasant is a coping mechanism to deal with the fact that they're over for her.
That could be a stretch. I'm just spitballing.
@EvilRaccoon good luck girl! That is really annoying.
Afm Tuesday BF: my MIL offered to throw us a shower which is cool however she immediately followed it up with some really appalling comments such as, "part of the reason I've been trying to get you guys to come to this new church with us is because there's a lot of nice retired ladies that would give really nice gifts" and "well I don't know your friends but make sure to only give me names and info for people that will bring and give really nice things, I don't want to invite people who won't bring something" uhm.... Wat!!!??? 1) I don't give a rats ass if people give us gifts, "nice" or not. 2) I would never join a church solely in hopes to have more people to invite to a shower plus wtf who uses people like that. 3) I want my friends included whether they can afford something or not, simply because they're my friends!
I honestly am at a loss. I'm torn between telling her thank you for the offer but no thank you and hope someone else offers to do one because I would still love to do SOMETHING to celebrate or telling her ya know I'd rather we do something once baby is here so that my mom can be included (but then we run into the whole middle of winter/holidays insanity). Or do I just let her do the shower, give her the names of people who I want and just know it will *hopefully* go fine?
MH assured me that his mom is tactful enough that she would not say something directly to anyone's face regarding what they did or didn't bring but I'd probably hear about it later in private. I dunno... I don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings or seem ungrateful. I just really am at a loss about what to do.
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
These types of comments are pretty common and really annoying. The worst is “sleep now!” Like you’re spending your pregnancy at all night raves?
It doesn't give me much faith, either, honestly, but this is the MFM my OB works with, so he's what I got. I really don't like him.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
@lurvleybunchococonuts That’s crazy awkward. If it were me, I would not rely on DH’s assurances that his mom has enough tact not to offend anyone w/ her gift-giving standards. I would ask him to have a talk with her wherein he explicitly states that neither of you are comfortable inviting people you don’t know for the sole purpose of gifts and that gift-giving period is an option for all of the guests as far as either of you are concerned.
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
Yes, @lifesabeach85, we are this close answering like that! It's especially annoying because she knows about my miscarriages, she's seen us trying for 7 years to have a biological child. Heck, we were in the process of trying to adopt a child coming from childcare who'd probably come with serious health issues and/or traumatism. So yes, we are committed to this thing.
And, for the record, it's my mother, not my MIL. Strange, I know, but I adore my MIL and have a great relationship with her. She is always very tactful and respectful of boundaries.
@EvilRaccoon I guess my brain just autocorrected to MIL since they are usually the bsc ones!
@lurvleybunchococonuts Oof, that is a really tough one. I wanted to say that you could talk with her and explain that you just want your friends there, regardless of the type of gifts they'll give you. But @lifesabeach85 makes a very good point that this is probably not the last crazy thing your MIL will do in regards to the shower, so it might be really stressful to have her host it. Do you have any friends near you that might want to host a shower? Do any of your friends know about your MIL struggles? Perhaps you could tell one of them that you're desperate to have an excuse not to have your MIL host it, and ask if they would host it for you, just by name, and that you would do most of the work. If a close friend asked me that, I wouldn't think it was tacky.
Or last thing--has your family mentioned hosting a shower for you? I think they live a few hours away from you (am I remembering correctly?) so you could invite your MIL to that one and just say you don't want to do two showers.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
1- are you sure it's not twins?
2 - you're not due until November? But you're so big already!
3 - this one was from DH after I told him #1 and 2....'our renter' has gotten so fat. His stomach looks like yours.
What a wonderful way to start the week...
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
@lurvleybunchococonuts I'm glad your mom might be able to curb your MIL some. I'm assuming you are much more open with her and she can find a way to make sure MIL knows your feelings. I still am in disbelief that she could be so tacky regarding gifts. Sorry you are going through all that!
And if the nice ladies from her church really want to come (or your MIL really want them to come), why not suggest donations to a cause dear to your heart in the name of your child.
We know we want to do so for our son. We'll "adopt" 2 wild animals in his name to donate for wildlife preservation, amongst other things.
@EvilRaccoon that's so frustrating. I get annoyed when people share horror stories to try to be funny, no tact! And the last thing I am when pregnant is patient- I am sure you are handling it better than I would have!
I really hope that's not a sign of things to come with them. I already don't care for the doctor and getting to the office is a hassle (it's close by, but in a hospital and it's like a maze getting there one you're inside), so that's just the icing on the cake.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d