For anyone who commented on the May thread at the end with my daycare vent, turns out she didn't expect to be paid for that day. Which probably means I overpaid her previously, but I'm not too worried about it. She was giving DS compliments left and right yesterday morning making me proud to be his mama.
I've gotten a whole bunch of arms wrapped all the way around my neck hugs lately and they are the best!
DD woke up with a 104* fever. She’s never been this sick. I feel so bad for her. We already took her to urgent care yesterday (her temp was 99.4 then) so hopefully Tylenol brings it down some.
@yosemite2018 sorry your DD is so sick! I hate high fevers, they're scary to me. I hope tylenol works too (and if needed alternate with motrin to help manage). Hope she feels better soon!
@yosemite2018 sorry she’s so sick. I second alternating Advil/Motrin with the Tylenol to get better fever reduction and minimize spikes. Did they check her ears? Was there any fluid build up? Before DS had tubes, he’d go through the cycle of lower fever with fluid but “no infection” and then spike the high fever and have visible/diagnosable ear infections. It was so frustrating bc we knew he had one and would go to the dr to be sent home and then return 48 hours later to get the antibiotics.
@yosemite2018 oh no! I hope the Tylenol (and Motrin) help. I’m so scared of fevers now. DS is prone to seizures if his spike up to quickly and it’s terrifying. I hope this one passes quickly for you.
How old was your LO before you gave them a blankie? DD is 20 months and I just started giving her a lovey to sleep with and am working my way up to a blankie. Just kind of freaks me out.
@mrsman2018 we gave angel dear lovies for sleep at about 13 months, blanket for naps at school around the same time, and blanket in the crib around 15-16 months.
How old was your LO before you gave them a blankie? DD is 20 months and I just started giving her a lovey to sleep with and am working my way up to a blankie. Just kind of freaks me out.
At 14 months he got a blanket, but a small lovey happened at 6 months old for us (I know not recommended, but I'm a terribly light sleeper and he was either touching me or less than 2 feet away and I woke up if he thrashed his arms...no joke). At 16 months he got a pillow too, because he got a cold and couldn't breathe without head elevation. I believe AAP or whatever they're called say a lovey after 1 year old is fine. At 20 months old my son started bringing multiple stuffed animals and blankets to bed. He makes a nest. They're definitely old enough by then to get things off and away from their faces and yell if they need help. Just my two cents.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
We did a lovie at 9 months and a blanket shortly after a year. We gradually added his stuffed animal friends after that. He got a pillow at 26 months and now, at 2.5, he piles his pillow, his blanket and some of his friends on top of his head before falling asleep. Occasionally he’ll sleep with an open book over his face instead, but he always has something covering his face to sleep.
@yosemite2018 oh, no I hope the meds are helping keep the fever down and that she feels better soon!
@mrsman2018 Buddy didn't get a pillow or blanket until well after he was 2, but his pediatrician, the AAP, my mom, my mom friends, basically the whole world...all say anytime after 12 months is fine. I'm pretty chill about a lot of things parenting wise but for some reason the whole blanket and pillow thing just freaked me out so bad. He sleeps better with them though, so I'm not going to hold out as long with the new baby. I'll still wait till a year, but will introduce a pillow and blanket pretty quickly after that first birthday. I started with his blanket and pillow only at nap time so that I could be awake and watch and see that it really was ok.
We did a single layer blanket (like a muslin cloth, or just a single layer of fleece) at 12 months for naps. She's 16 months now and we've just started talking about changing her from a sleep sack to a thicker blanket at night. She's still fitting in the same sleep sack she was in at 10ish months so I wasn't in a rush to get her out of it.
Any questions or concerns regarding symptoms? I found out from my recent blood work that I'm slightly anemic and need to take an additional iron supplement. If you've had to take an additional iron supplement, did you notice a difference in your energy levels? How old is your child(ren)? 5 y/o DD
Any questions related to current child? If you've been reading any books to your child to help prepare him/her for baby, please share your favorites! We've been checking out some "big sister" books from the library and my DD is enjoying reading and discussing them.
We've been focusing on spending a lot of quality time with DD because she has two big transitions coming up - starting Kindergarten and becoming a big sis! I think she will do great with both, but want her to feel supported. She loves feeling the baby kick when we're reading stories at bedtime and talks about all the things she'll teach her little brother once he's here.
GTKY: Who’s your go to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? Typically country or oldies!
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
@nlc8424 That is the best feeling when you get those compliments from care providers! And those tight hugs!
@yosemite2018 Oh no - I hope she feels better soon! My DD has only had a temp that high once and I was terrified, but my nurse friends reassured me that it would likely go down with alternating Tylenol/Motrin and it did. Hope it passes quickly!
@mrsman2018 My DD was well over a year before we gave her anything in her crib and it was an aden + anais muslin blanket, which is pretty breathable. Like @stothi I was always anxious to put anything in her crib with her.
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
Ugh, I feel so bad, my sil has been having the hardest time w her baby. First off recovering from birth took forever, them he had awful, like really bad awful reflux that her ped wouldn’t treat. Now he developed a cough that wouldn’t fade so the ped referred to pulmonologist... it’s caused by reflux. So now he is finally on meds.
But in the meantime, he has developed absolutely no rhythm, no routine, sleeps like crap, gave up the pacifier, comfort nurses constantly, and is teething. I chalk a lot of it up to his newborn cries were all discomfort, she never could figure out what he needed and she’s a smart, nurturing, Mama, he just always cried the same. And now probably has no isea what hunger feels like...
my guilt is, I was so happy they finally fiyuretit out and told her how much better things will get...it’s been almost a week and he’s just as unpredictable. Like some nights he only wakes to ear and others is just wide awake... dd only did that when she was teething, he’s done it his whole life. Like never more than 3 hrs between eating or sleeping. I don’t know how the woman is still sane. And of course, this is her first, so she doesn’t know it doesn’t have to be this way, and just feels like crap for not having a better handle on life. I just keep listening and letting her know eventually it will improve, but I am all out of tips and ideas.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@jhjocelyn for some of us it took a very long time to get better. Not all babies sleep. I feel so so much for your sister in law. I can't tell you how many times I asked my pediatrician for advice and was told I was "doing everything right," but my baby still didn't sleep more than 20 minutes to an hour at a time for months and months. Then eventually he'd sleep for maybe 2-4 hours at some point, but was still waking up 5 times a night and scream crying for hours at a time. And he was still doing it when he was a year old. It's slowly improved but as I've said before, he's over 2.5 years old and still doesn't sleep through the night. For me being told that it gets better just felt like people were lying to me. I mean it did get "better," but despite reading the books and doing the things and waiting and waiting and waiting he still doesn't sleep like my friends' kids sleep. I feel like a jerk but the only thing that actually made me feel better was when a friend would have another child and their new kiddo was a crap sleeper and they'd text me and be all, "omg! I had no idea! I've tried everything and NOTHING I did with my first is working! This is crazy!" And I feel bad cause their baby isn't sleeping but I also feel validated that they are no longer judging me thinking that I was doing something wrong all this time.
Once again I'll say, I'm so terrified that this baby won't be a sleeper either! I'm pretty sure I'll die if I have to do another year+ of no sleep and constant screaming. I'm having the worst anxiety about it. I didn't during my first pregnancy cause I thought all babies slept and had no idea, like no idea at all, that it was possible to have as bad a sleeper as I do.
FTR: my child is one of the sweetest most agreeable children you'd ever hope to meet. He just doesn't sleep well.
@jhjocelyn Yeah, that sounds like my son. He was up 5-6 times maybe more every night until way past a year old, his naps always sucked and every little noise would wake him. I had so many people tell me I was doing it wrong, explain how to sleep train, tell me not to pick him up, or pick him up more, or just tell me to suck it up. He's always generally been a happy guy when people were over, but up until about 6 months old I couldn't put him down if we were alone, or he screamed. No one believed me either. My mom still tells me he was an easy baby.
Some babies just don't sleep.
What helped me most was when people just told me it was OK, and I was allowed to be sleep deprived, and that I was a good mom. And when they would bring food or do dishes. Offering to help me by holding my over tired baby while he screamed so I could "take a nap." I'm also a bad sleeper so I can't sleep with noise in the house, so that wasn't helpful for me.Sympathy for her though-it's so hard. It does get better, but in my case it was two years. And he's not great but so much better.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@spottedginger no fluid in the ears. We made a same day appt yesterday but then my mom was working with her favorite pediatrician in l&d yesterday and he said we didn’t need to go in. Her temp is a little worse today then yesterday and last night sucked so I made another appt today. She pulled me to her room and pointed to her changing table right after I changed her diaper so I am going to ask him to check for a UTI. Luckily her temp hasn’t hit 104 again- that was scary.
@stothi my nephew is similar... sucks at sleeping but otherwise the happiest kiddo. I hope my sister can get some sleep soon or they will never have another and I want him to have a sibling!
@jhjocelyn like @stothi said, some babies are just crap sleepers and there’s nothing you can do to make it better. I’m sure the reflux didn’t help and hopefully the meds will lessen the crying but it sounds like she has a bad sleeper. Those of us “blessed” with poor sleepers take a lot longer to recover and get a handle on life, but it is possible. For me it didn’t happen until around 18 months which is when DS started sleeping through the night more often than he didn’t. Up until 9 months though, he was still up at least three times a night. The first 6 months he nursed every 2 hours day and night. Naps were also done almost exclusively in my arms or his wrap for the first 6 months. It does break you down and try your sanity. The best thing anyone could have done for me in the early months was come over and say “I’ll watch the baby, you go sleep.”
@jhjocelyn I feel for your sister in law, my DD was a terrible sleeper for her first year and it took around 2-3 months before she nursed effectively and enough without having to supplement. It can be so hard and overwhelming when your baby wants to boob all the time. A resource that was super helpful for me (just reassuring that I was doing alright and things were normal) was the Milk Meg. She has a book called ‘Boobin all day, Boobin all night’ that was perfect for me as a breastfeeding mama who was feeling completely overwhelmed. She has a blog too if your sister in law wants some free, funny, reassuring reading.
@yosemite2018 Poor thing...I'm sorry to hear she's still running a temp! @arbell615 That book sounds awesome! DD also really struggled to nurse effectively the first few months and it definitely wore on me. I'm going to check out that book in preparation for #2. Probably should wait to Google that book title until I'm not at work, huh?
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
I def have encouraged that she is doing all the right things and that he is just a tough kiddo, and that’s okay, and when he’s 4 and all the teeth are in, and he can talk, at least by then it will be better... I blame dd’s cf for her sleep habits, she wears out faster, so she has to sleep. Though lately she’s been having wayy more energy than I am ready for...
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
My poor friend has a one month old and is overwhelmed by the seemingly constant breastfeeding. I keep trying to tell her he won't eat as often as he gets older and she will completely forget about how rough it is. Any other advice I can give her? They are having a pretty textbook experience from what I can tell
@EErin86 is baby having the right number of wet/dirty diapers? It totally will get better but newborns aren't super efficient at breastfeeding at this point. Is she using a nipple shield or anything?
If the baby is gaining and having enough wet diapers, that would seem normal to me. Any chance she has a lactation consultant she can call (maybe at the hospital where she delivered)? If the baby isn’t gaining, s/he may be hungry from undersupply and the mom could still benefit from an lc and/or supplementation.
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
EErin86 As long as baby is having wet diapers I would not be too concerned because it just may be cluster feeding / growth spurt. But when I BF DD, she had a bad latch due to a minor tongue tie so she was not nursing efficiently and losing weight. I saw a lactation consultant about it. So maybe get baby assessed for a tongue tie?
Sorry everyone, I should have clarified. Baby is getting enough (gaining weight, wet/dirty diapers) she's just struggling with the mental task of feeding a newborn. She has worked with a lactation consultant and everything is going fine mechanically.
@EErin86 Can she wear the baby so she can nurse as needed while baby is close to her? Nursing while taking a warm bath to help both of them relax? Can she try some new things to keep her mind occupied-listening to an audiobook, playing a game on her phone, watching a new show?
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
@EErin86 ah well that's great that everything is going well in that arena. Unfortunately, yes it is super taxing at times to nurse a newborn. I imagine if she wanted pretty soon she could start pumping and have her husband offer a bottle instead (while she pumped to replace the feeding). LC's usually recommend waiting 4ish weeks before introducing a bottle for nipple confusion. Of course it's a task alone to pump enough in the early days to get a feedings worth, but it's an option?
My second baby was so irritable and it turned out, she was allergic to all the foods I was eating. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. I was sleep deprived, angry that my newborn didn't want to cuddle and I felt robbed of that amazing bonding experience. It took SEVEN MONTHS for the pediatrician to order up a blood test, when we discovered not only dairy, but eggs, nuts, peanuts and some other weird things were making her so fussy. I feel for this mama!
Thank you for all the responses! We were able to hang out today and I think she is doing better. Her mom gave her some good advice (your friends will still like you even if your baby cries). They are typically a very social and active couple so I think the lifestyle change of having a baby tag along was part of it. Lol also her son definitely got a growth spurt this past week he looks so big now!
So DS finally held still for more than 1.8 seconds last night and got to feel “baby brother” kicking. I told him that was BB’s way of saying hello, I love you and he was so excited! He spent the rest of the evening and this morning running after me trying to feel my belly again
My son just started understanding that there's a baby in my belly today really. He's been a lot gentler on my stomach at least. Total win.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Re: June STM+ check in
I've gotten a whole bunch of arms wrapped all the way around my neck hugs lately and they are the best!
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@mrsman2018 Buddy didn't get a pillow or blanket until well after he was 2, but his pediatrician, the AAP, my mom, my mom friends, basically the whole world...all say anytime after 12 months is fine. I'm pretty chill about a lot of things parenting wise but for some reason the whole blanket and pillow thing just freaked me out so bad. He sleeps better with them though, so I'm not going to hold out as long with the new baby. I'll still wait till a year, but will introduce a pillow and blanket pretty quickly after that first birthday.
I started with his blanket and pillow only at nap time so that I could be awake and watch and see that it really was ok.
Any questions or concerns regarding symptoms? I found out from my recent blood work that I'm slightly anemic and need to take an additional iron supplement. If you've had to take an additional iron supplement, did you notice a difference in your energy levels?
How old is your child(ren)? 5 y/o DD
Any questions related to current child? If you've been reading any books to your child to help prepare him/her for baby, please share your favorites! We've been checking out some "big sister" books from the library and my DD is enjoying reading and discussing them.
We've been focusing on spending a lot of quality time with DD because she has two big transitions coming up - starting Kindergarten and becoming a big sis! I think she will do great with both, but want her to feel supported. She loves feeling the baby kick when we're reading stories at bedtime and talks about all the things she'll teach her little brother once he's here.
GTKY: Who’s your go to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? Typically country or oldies!
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
@yosemite2018 Oh no - I hope she feels better soon! My DD has only had a temp that high once and I was terrified, but my nurse friends reassured me that it would likely go down with alternating Tylenol/Motrin and it did. Hope it passes quickly!
@mrsman2018 My DD was well over a year before we gave her anything in her crib and it was an aden + anais muslin blanket, which is pretty breathable. Like @stothi I was always anxious to put anything in her crib with her.
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
But in the meantime, he has developed absolutely no rhythm, no routine, sleeps like crap, gave up the pacifier, comfort nurses constantly, and is teething. I chalk a lot of it up to his newborn cries were all discomfort, she never could figure out what he needed and she’s a smart, nurturing, Mama, he just always cried the same. And now probably has no isea what hunger feels like...
my guilt is, I was so happy they finally fiyuretit out and told her how much better things will get...it’s been almost a week and he’s just as unpredictable. Like some nights he only wakes to ear and others is just wide awake... dd only did that when she was teething, he’s done it his whole life. Like never more than 3 hrs between eating or sleeping. I don’t know how the woman is still sane. And of course, this is her first, so she doesn’t know it doesn’t have to be this way, and just feels like crap for not having a better handle on life. I just keep listening and letting her know eventually it will improve, but I am all out of tips and ideas.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
Once again I'll say, I'm so terrified that this baby won't be a sleeper either! I'm pretty sure I'll die if I have to do another year+ of no sleep and constant screaming. I'm having the worst anxiety about it. I didn't during my first pregnancy cause I thought all babies slept and had no idea, like no idea at all, that it was possible to have as bad a sleeper as I do.
FTR: my child is one of the sweetest most agreeable children you'd ever hope to meet. He just doesn't sleep well.
Some babies just don't sleep.
What helped me most was when people just told me it was OK, and I was allowed to be sleep deprived, and that I was a good mom. And when they would bring food or do dishes. Offering to help me by holding my over tired baby while he screamed so I could "take a nap." I'm also a bad sleeper so I can't sleep with noise in the house, so that wasn't helpful for me.Sympathy for her though-it's so hard. It does get better, but in my case it was two years. And he's not great but so much better.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@stothi my nephew is similar... sucks at sleeping but otherwise the happiest kiddo. I hope my sister can get some sleep soon or they will never have another and I want him to have a sibling!
blog too if your sister in law wants some free, funny, reassuring reading.
@arbell615 That book sounds awesome! DD also really struggled to nurse effectively the first few months and it definitely wore on me. I'm going to check out that book in preparation for #2. Probably should wait to Google that book title until I'm not at work, huh?
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
I def have encouraged that she is doing all the right things and that he is just a tough kiddo, and that’s okay, and when he’s 4 and all the teeth are in, and he can talk, at least by then it will be better... I blame dd’s cf for her sleep habits, she wears out faster, so she has to sleep. Though lately she’s been having wayy more energy than I am ready for...
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Zero. I got zero, lol. How did you all do?