ETA: The problem with that is one of my many complaints today is the importance of brevity; being able to get your message across without mucking up the works. I won't do that to you kind, beautiful ladies.
This is has been an ongoing saga, and I have not had much time to update... but ya'll may remember the co-worker who outright verbally attacked me (in front of supervisor) a few months ago about being pregnant?? Well, after HR intervened and reprimanded said person, he resigned and is leaving us. Which is a great blessing in disguise at this point. He was very bitter and toxic in general but after that whole ordeal I had no interest in working with him. That said, I'm already training someone to to replace him and we may be hiring another person to help out as well while I'm on leave.
My BF is this... I have been having a lot of lower back and hip pain and finally was able to schedule myself a prenatal massage for tomorrow PM. Had to cancel it today because we are interviewing that second person and tomorrow PM was the ONLY time we could make it work. Was soooo looking forward to my massage. Grrrr.
@linssears4 I remember you taking about that incident. Thankfully he is gone and you have a replacement. Toxic people suck! Also, hopefully you can reschedule that massage ASAP!
AFM: My SO has had an open case against his previous employer for worker's comp. It has been going on for 7 years now. Their lawyer wants to settle and we thought this was almost over. Now their lawyer is back to being difficult. We were under the impression that we would have a response this week but apparently not til next week now. I know it's only another week, and after this long what's another week really, but I just want all this nonsense to be over so we can move on with our lives.
I resigned from my job last week- they have been trying to build a case to fire me (becasue I am pregnant they need to document reasons, but I am kicking ass at my job so all the reasons are BS). Anyway it was so stressful I resigned and decided to go back to being a SAHM for a while. I told them I would work through the end of the month.
Now they want me to stay on into July bc they don't think they will be able to get someone in to replace me before that. And I feel guilty bc I am the only person who runs my program and I don't want it to go to shit. So I resigned for being treated like crap and now I am feeling guilt over not wanting to stay after they asked.....my BF is about ME! Why am I wired to feel responsible for everyone else's well-being, except my own??
@MissBridg I'm sorry you're going through that, and normally I'd say not to burn any bridges but they were already trying to fire you. And now they need your help??? Sounds pretty nervy to me! On the other hand I'm the exact same way and would feel bad because I feel responsible. However you need to do what's best for you and baby!
@linssears4 So glad that person is gone, but that suuuuuucks!!!
@MissBridg WTF?! Sounds like the bridge is burned, so I’d be blunt. I’d tell them it was clear I was unwanted, so I don’t know what help I’d be for that additional time. But that’s me.
@MissBridg - Keep your original date for an end date. If they want you to stay longer- get concessions in writing- I’d go for a four day work week (32hrs) at your current salary (as in not adjusted for the shorter week) with one of those days being from home. But I am a bitch like that, and got burned in a similar situation.
@MissBridg I think you should stick to your original end date. It's not fair to you for them to treat you that way, and unless you want to go back to that job post baby, there's no worries about burning that bridge. If you think you'll need a recommendation from them down the road - find someone who you worked with and get along with and ask if they'd be a future reference for you. Companies cannot give detailed reasons to why you left unless you list them as a personal reference. In case of employment verification the hiring co can only ask if you worked there and what you role was. Sometimes they can ask if you're eligible for re-hire, which companies usually have pretty set rules around that. If you resigned, you're most likely re-hire-able.
@linssears4 Yess thats such good news though! Sorry about the conflicting schedule though.
@MissBridg I agree with the advice given here, keep the end date and if they truly need you you can "contract" yourself out for training. That being said do not let them drag you on for months either. Your gut will tell you when to cut ties!
My BF is my husbands Dr. He is going in for a colonoscopy for the second time THIS YEAR because hes been having so many issues. It started with non-stop heartburn whether he eats or doesn't regardless of what he eats (for which he has been scoped for on that end too with hiatal hernia being the only indicator of issues, this was 3 years ago). This was just a "it heals on its own" and push meds response. Now he has been having awful stomach pain and other awkward to list problems. They found nothing the first time they did the colonoscopy though they suspect Crohns disease. Now they are re-testing him, and he can't catch a break. I am about to switch Drs if they STILL come up with "no clue what it is, oh well!". WTF.
@ninji15 sounds like my DH! All sorts of stomach and intestinal issues and no one can find anything. Dh kinda gave up trying to get it fixed and it annoys me. He is seeing a chiro right now but because I am also going he isn't going as much as he should due to cost. I get it but his health is just as important as mine/baby.
@MissBridg I agree with previous posters - keep your end date as you had planned. I always feel the same kind of guilt as you when leaving jobs, but you don’t owe anything to them, especially if they were already planning to fire you.
My BF is to myself and my job. I like my job and I like what I do, but over the weekend I was thinking about the financials of me going back to work after baby is born, and it’s going to be really tight after having our expenses increase because of having a second kid in childcare. I’ve been here for almost two years now, and I’d hate to have to look for a new job just for a pay raise, but that’s looking like it’s going to be the only option. Back in January, I had written up this whole long thing for my boss about how I want to grow in my role and take on more responsibility, but that I’m currently limited in what I can do because of my union/pay grade (my salary is at the max of what they’re “allowed” to give me because of the union pay scales, but it’s still lower than I was making at my last job). My boss seemed to have a positive reaction at the time, but then nothing came of it and here we are 6 months later.
I wish I could look for new jobs now and not wait, but there’s no point in looking for a job at 5 months pregnant when I know I’ll be wanting to take time off after baby. I’m just feeling stuck and frustrated, even though I know it’s partly my fault because I could have looked for other opportunities months ago, before it got to be too late.
@ninji15 I wonder if they could test him for Barrett's or gastroparesis. My family comes from a world of stomach issues and the two of us with severe acid reflux (me and my brother) have those - he has the former, I have the latter.
@ninji15 - My thought was gallbladder issues. My ex dealt with issues for several years that they didn’t diagnose because he was too young and the wrong sex for the demographic they expected to find such in.
ETA: eating completely fat free meals, which is what you have to do to not irritate it, is freaking hard. Been there, done that, never want to do it again.
Hang in there! It will work out for you. I understand not wanting to find a job now, but after you get back from leave, you will have a whole different situation.
@ninji15 have they tested for celiac disease via endoscopy? My main symptom was a bloated stomach that always hurt, but everyone seems to react differently.
Sucks about the colonoscopy, I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy twofer special back in college or high school, it sucked big time. I felt like the recovery was worse than prep because of all the gas! Also I woke up partway through, so that was weird...
My bf is that it's bike week in NH and suddenly all the rules of the road don't apply.. I got passed by three bikers on a double yellow, going down a hill, and I was already going 65mph. They flew past me into oncoming traffic!?!? Where do you have to be so damn quick?! I don't have a problem with bikers, when they follow the law. I'm staying home the rest of the week!!
@ninji15 Oh my gosh, that sucks. My H is having one on the 29th for undiagnosed stomach pains and bowel related issues too. I hope they can give your H a better answer this time!!
@MissBridg keep your end date or ask for double time to help later in July. That being said, I would feel the same guilt in your situation. Good luck!
@mamabearcj warm weather brings out or crazy bikers, too. Either you’re using the rules for a pedestrian or a car, not both. Follow the law, people!
My BF is at the coworker who implied maybe I shouldn’t take on a new role next year because of “timing issues”. We all know what you meant, buddy. Don’t even go there.
@SweetSweetTooth I forced DH to go get checked out the first couple times by threatening to not go to my prenatals. It was an empty threat but I didn't know how else to convince him. Health is so important and men always blow it off. I hope you find answers!
@chopchop25 They did look for that, I guess he doesn't have symptoms for those yet and they said they needed to keep an eye on it in the future. How far in the future I am not sure.
@knottieamusements ahhh yes! They "tested" and ruled that out. It wasn't an extensive test though. I had mine taken out after DD, they don't tell you that pregnancy fucks with that shit! It was horrible. I may have them revisit this.
@jemmerjams I didn't think about this but maybe! If this next procedure still comes up empty I plan to pursue a better doctor and will bring this up for sure.
@krzyriver I hope your DH finds answers too! It totally sucks, I hate it for them.
Worst case I plan to find someone else and ask them about all of these things again. It would be nice if he wasn't miserable all the time for once in 3 years ugh.
Dh is having a mini heart attack with all the bills rolling in and finding money to pay them with thankfully I am close to my max (unless I go out of network for anything)
My BF is a day late... My boss threw a beautiful retirement party for someone who is leaving our office after working for us for 38 years. Nice rooftop bar/restaurant, with open bar and passed apps. a cocktail hour type thing. My co-worker and office mate had a fit before we left because i told her it was just that, passed apps, and she wanted this veggie burger that they served there. She was so upset that the company is "wasting" money on open bar when 10% of those there won't drink and why can't we all just order off of a dinner menu? REALLY?! Beggars can't be choosers! If you want the burger, go back tomorrow for dinner, that's not why we're here. Just be grateful for a nice evening out with yummy apps and a beautiful view! She also claims she "can't afford anything" so someone in our office pays for her lunch almost every day, meanwhile she only wears lulu workout gear and shops at the most expensive grocery store in the county. She's a freaking mooch!
Counting down the days until I take maternity leave and don't need to share an office with her.
@ninji15 I had random stomach pains and heartburn for a while. The chiropractor helped with the stomach pains. I also found that p2 inhibitors, like ranitidine (can’t remember the brand name) actually made the heartburn worse. Turned out I had low stomach acid. Drinking 1-2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar mixed in water every morning, fermented foods, plain yogurt, and avoiding extra sugar/carbs for a while to get my gut bacteria back to normal helped immensely. Doctors wanted to medicate, but anything that was meant to reduce stomach acid made the heartburn worse because I already had low acid. I avoided any antacid and ate hard cheese when I got heartburn. I met a man doing the same thing while I was and he said he does a shot of apple cider vinegar before every meal - it was too strong for me so I never did that (he was seeing a naturopath for help/guidance on what to do).
Obviously that may not apply to your H but if it does, many doctors don’t recognize it. I got a lot of funny looks from doctors when I told them what I was doing, but it was slowly working so I kept doing it. I can now eat pretty much whatever I want again, but it took a long time to get here (like 9-12 months). Gut bacteria imbalance can also mess with digestion, so his intestinal problems may be related, especially if doctors can’t find a reason for the issues.
@linssears4 Yess thats such good news though! Sorry about the conflicting schedule though.
@MissBridg I agree with the advice given here, keep the end date and if they truly need you you can "contract" yourself out for training. That being said do not let them drag you on for months either. Your gut will tell you when to cut ties!
This is what I decided to do. My boss asked me again about it and I told her that if they end up with a gap, I would b willing to go under a temporary, 2-day per week contract to have someone in the office. I don;t think she will want to or be able to do that, but I'm fine with being done June 28 as planned, or continuing 15 hours a week through july if they need me enough to draw up a new temp contract.
Thanks so much for all the love and support, ladies!!!!!
I'm thankful that I had the foresight to put a good amount into my HSA, and that my company contribution went in in April. Right now I have the funds there to cover everything, so it makes it less painful.
@ninji15 I had random stomach pains and heartburn for a while. The chiropractor helped with the stomach pains. I also found that p2 inhibitors, like ranitidine (can’t remember the brand name) actually made the heartburn worse. Turned out I had low stomach acid. Drinking 1-2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar mixed in water every morning, fermented foods, plain yogurt, and avoiding extra sugar/carbs for a while to get my gut bacteria back to normal helped immensely. Doctors wanted to medicate, but anything that was meant to reduce stomach acid made the heartburn worse because I already had low acid. I avoided any antacid and ate hard cheese when I got heartburn. I met a man doing the same thing while I was and he said he does a shot of apple cider vinegar before every meal - it was too strong for me so I never did that (he was seeing a naturopath for help/guidance on what to do).
Obviously that may not apply to your H but if it does, many doctors don’t recognize it. I got a lot of funny looks from doctors when I told them what I was doing, but it was slowly working so I kept doing it. I can now eat pretty much whatever I want again, but it took a long time to get here (like 9-12 months). Gut bacteria imbalance can also mess with digestion, so his intestinal problems may be related, especially if doctors can’t find a reason for the issues.
@purplegoldfish2 This didn't even occur to me as being a thing so I plan to bring it up with DH while he waits for an answer in the meantime, nothing can hurt at this point he is miserable. It sounds totally doable and I like it better than the meds hes been on. I don't think they are meant for long term. Thank you so much for the advice!
Dh was looking at gut bacteria for his stomach issues. Probiotics helps for a while but things got worse again. Chriopractor said digestion can have deeper issues with the spine and also Probiotics are short term things and should NOT be used long term.
@SweetSweetTooth um, not a doctor, but aren't probiotics safe for long term use? It's just beneficial bacteria. I mean, I've been on them for YEARS and it helps keep everything moving. Still on them now and don't plan to stop.
I know, I side eyed my husband when he said the chiro said that. I guess if you get everything into balance you shouldn't need to take them long term but this America and we eat like crap lol I may have to ask her at my next adjustment to see what she means. Dh might have misunderstood!
@SweetSweetTooth Yeah, that seems strange. My doctor is always encouraging me to take probiotics daily. But I know my chiro is very anti-medicine, so maybe that's why they said that?
Maybe she meant to not over do probiotics? I have a friend that took some, but it was evidently too much and it caused the other problem. She backed off of her dose and still takes them to this day, I think, but just not as much.
Yeah, I mean if you take too much probiotics, you may be spending a little too much time in the bathroom...but I feel like they are self-limiting in that way.
Have I ever mentioned that I hate laundry? Because I hate laundry. I've been doing a LOT all this week and I still have a LOT left to do. My kiddos are trying their hardest to drive me insane today. This mom needs a loooong afternoon nap! Hope the children cooperate with that...
I have no motivation to do anything today. At all. I worked hard yesterday moving boxes and was tired and DH was nice to start dishes but when he does dishes I dry so I didn't get to fully relax and getget off my feet. I totally get he has crappy hard days and his schedule changed so he is getting used to that. But dang. Let this pregnant lady chill! I work part time from home so there isn't a ton I have to do and I think dh thinks all I do is sit around. Some days, yes, lol but not all! Edit words
Probiotics can throw off your gut bacteria balance too, which is why some people say not to use them long term. The key is to get one with all the strains in it so you don’t overload yourself on one type and get out of balance the other way. This one was recommended by a doctor friend that did a lot of research into it: Nature’s Bounty Probiotic 10 (20 billion live cultures).
And now my BF - The refrigerator saga continues. We ordered one from Home Depot (we have a partnership with them through our business) and the earliest delivery we could get was tomorrow (a week after we ordered it). So for this entire week, we’ve been going out to eat or picking up food for dinner because we have no cold storage right now. Not cooking has been nice, but it’s getting expensive, even with kids eat free places. They were supposed to call today to set up the delivery time. When they hadn’t called, I checked the status online and they had a confirmed delivery time of 7:30-11:30 am. Not only did they not call and confirm that, but it is also during preschool graduation. Between MH and I, we spent 2+ hours on the phone with them trying to change it to the afternoon like we originally requested. They refused and told us to change the delivery date to sometime next week. We are busy every day next week except for Friday and 2 weeks without a fridge is not ok. And hormones, so of course I was crying about it all. When MH called me back to tell me they absolutely refused to work with us I told him to forget it, that I didn’t care about the partnership deal and I would go to another store. I went over to the local appliance store and not only was the lady super helpful, but before I even told her what was happening she was trying to push our refrigerator onto the delivery truck for tomorrow. It turned out they didn’t have the color we wanted in the store and it was arriving tomorrow, so delivery is Saturday (something HD wouldn’t do), but she tried and Saturday is still doable for us. While on the phone with HD earlier, MH asked about cancelling the order. They wouldn’t do it over the phone and said he had to go to the store to cancel. Once I bought the new fridge at the local store, he went to HD to cancel the order with them and they refused! They said he can’t cancel the order until we refuse delivery. So we have to wait until they try to deliver a refrigerator that we won’t be home to receive before we can go to the store and cancel. What a waste of time for their delivery people. If they try to charge me a penny for this crap I am going to lose it, possibly very loudly in the middle of the store.
@purplegoldfish2 one of the most frustrating delivery experiences was getting our fridge delivered. We kept getting damaged and dented models, and since it was an older model, only floor models were left. Eventually they upgraded us after I complained enough.
@jemmerjams was it with HD? We bought all our appliances from Sears 4 years ago when we moved in because our businesss agreement was with them at the time. We had no issues (other than they didn’t deliver everything on the same day, but that was based on what they had in stock and I was happy to have something instead of waiting for everything at once). Because of that experience I didn’t think anything of buying from another large chain.
knottieamusements
member
Re: Monday BF (June 11)
ETA: The problem with that is one of my many complaints today is the importance of brevity; being able to get your message across without mucking up the works. I won't do that to you kind, beautiful ladies.
My BF is this... I have been having a lot of lower back and hip pain and finally was able to schedule myself a prenatal massage for tomorrow PM. Had to cancel it today because we are interviewing that second person and tomorrow PM was the ONLY time we could make it work. Was soooo looking forward to my massage. Grrrr.
AFM: My SO has had an open case against his previous employer for worker's comp. It has been going on for 7 years now. Their lawyer wants to settle and we thought this was almost over. Now their lawyer is back to being difficult. We were under the impression that we would have a response this week but apparently not til next week now. I know it's only another week, and after this long what's another week really, but I just want all this nonsense to be over so we can move on with our lives.
Now they want me to stay on into July bc they don't think they will be able to get someone in to replace me before that. And I feel guilty bc I am the only person who runs my program and I don't want it to go to shit. So I resigned for being treated like crap and now I am feeling guilt over not wanting to stay after they asked.....my BF is about ME! Why am I wired to feel responsible for everyone else's well-being, except my own??
@MissBridg WTF?! Sounds like the bridge is burned, so I’d be blunt. I’d tell them it was clear I was unwanted, so I don’t know what help I’d be for that additional time. But that’s me.
@MissBridg - Keep your original date for an end date. If they want you to stay longer- get concessions in writing- I’d go for a four day work week (32hrs) at your current salary (as in not adjusted for the shorter week) with one of those days being from home. But I am a bitch like that, and got burned in a similar situation.
@MissBridg I agree with the advice given here, keep the end date and if they truly need you you can "contract" yourself out for training. That being said do not let them drag you on for months either. Your gut will tell you when to cut ties!
My BF is my husbands Dr. He is going in for a colonoscopy for the second time THIS YEAR because hes been having so many issues. It started with non-stop heartburn whether he eats or doesn't regardless of what he eats (for which he has been scoped for on that end too with hiatal hernia being the only indicator of issues, this was 3 years ago). This was just a "it heals on its own" and push meds response. Now he has been having awful stomach pain and other awkward to list problems. They found nothing the first time they did the colonoscopy though they suspect Crohns disease. Now they are re-testing him, and he can't catch a break. I am about to switch Drs if they STILL come up with "no clue what it is, oh well!". WTF.
My BF is to myself and my job. I like my job and I like what I do, but over the weekend I was thinking about the financials of me going back to work after baby is born, and it’s going to be really tight after having our expenses increase because of having a second kid in childcare. I’ve been here for almost two years now, and I’d hate to have to look for a new job just for a pay raise, but that’s looking like it’s going to be the only option. Back in January, I had written up this whole long thing for my boss about how I want to grow in my role and take on more responsibility, but that I’m currently limited in what I can do because of my union/pay grade (my salary is at the max of what they’re “allowed” to give me because of the union pay scales, but it’s still lower than I was making at my last job). My boss seemed to have a positive reaction at the time, but then nothing came of it and here we are 6 months later.
I wish I could look for new jobs now and not wait, but there’s no point in looking for a job at 5 months pregnant when I know I’ll be wanting to take time off after baby. I’m just feeling stuck and frustrated, even though I know it’s partly my fault because I could have looked for other opportunities months ago, before it got to be too late.
Sorry for the long rant!
ETA: eating completely fat free meals, which is what you have to do to not irritate it, is freaking hard. Been there, done that, never want to do it again.
Hang in there! It will work out for you. I understand not wanting to find a job now, but after you get back from leave, you will have a whole different situation.
Sucks about the colonoscopy, I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy twofer special back in college or high school, it sucked big time. I felt like the recovery was worse than prep because of all the gas! Also I woke up partway through, so that was weird...
I don't have a problem with bikers, when they follow the law. I'm staying home the rest of the week!!
@mamabearcj warm weather brings out or crazy bikers, too. Either you’re using the rules for a pedestrian or a car, not both. Follow the law, people!
My BF is at the coworker who implied maybe I shouldn’t take on a new role next year because of “timing issues”. We all know what you meant, buddy. Don’t even go there.
@chopchop25 They did look for that, I guess he doesn't have symptoms for those yet and they said they needed to keep an eye on it in the future. How far in the future I am not sure.
@knottieamusements ahhh yes! They "tested" and ruled that out. It wasn't an extensive test though. I had mine taken out after DD, they don't tell you that pregnancy fucks with that shit! It was horrible. I may have them revisit this.
@jemmerjams I didn't think about this but maybe! If this next procedure still comes up empty I plan to pursue a better doctor and will bring this up for sure.
@krzyriver I hope your DH finds answers too! It totally sucks, I hate it for them.
Worst case I plan to find someone else and ask them about all of these things again. It would be nice if he wasn't miserable all the time for once in 3 years ugh.
Counting down the days until I take maternity leave and don't need to share an office with her.
Obviously that may not apply to your H but if it does, many doctors don’t recognize it. I got a lot of funny looks from doctors when I told them what I was doing, but it was slowly working so I kept doing it. I can now eat pretty much whatever I want again, but it took a long time to get here (like 9-12 months). Gut bacteria imbalance can also mess with digestion, so his intestinal problems may be related, especially if doctors can’t find a reason for the issues.
Thanks so much for all the love and support, ladies!!!!!
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
My kiddos are trying their hardest to drive me insane today. This mom needs a loooong afternoon nap! Hope the children cooperate with that...
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
Edit words
And now my BF - The refrigerator saga continues. We ordered one from Home Depot (we have a partnership with them through our business) and the earliest delivery we could get was tomorrow (a week after we ordered it). So for this entire week, we’ve been going out to eat or picking up food for dinner because we have no cold storage right now. Not cooking has been nice, but it’s getting expensive, even with kids eat free places. They were supposed to call today to set up the delivery time. When they hadn’t called, I checked the status online and they had a confirmed delivery time of 7:30-11:30 am. Not only did they not call and confirm that, but it is also during preschool graduation. Between MH and I, we spent 2+ hours on the phone with them trying to change it to the afternoon like we originally requested. They refused and told us to change the delivery date to sometime next week. We are busy every day next week except for Friday and 2 weeks without a fridge is not ok. And hormones, so of course I was crying about it all. When MH called me back to tell me they absolutely refused to work with us I told him to forget it, that I didn’t care about the partnership deal and I would go to another store. I went over to the local appliance store and not only was the lady super helpful, but before I even told her what was happening she was trying to push our refrigerator onto the delivery truck for tomorrow. It turned out they didn’t have the color we wanted in the store and it was arriving tomorrow, so delivery is Saturday (something HD wouldn’t do), but she tried and Saturday is still doable for us. While on the phone with HD earlier, MH asked about cancelling the order. They wouldn’t do it over the phone and said he had to go to the store to cancel. Once I bought the new fridge at the local store, he went to HD to cancel the order with them and they refused! They said he can’t cancel the order until we refuse delivery. So we have to wait until they try to deliver a refrigerator that we won’t be home to receive before we can go to the store and cancel. What a waste of time for their delivery people. If they try to charge me a penny for this crap I am going to lose it, possibly very loudly in the middle of the store.