UO (Unpopular Opinion) 6/13/18

nononorman · June 2018

lets hear em ladies!

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

The terms preggo, preggers, preg, etc are incredibly stupid and in my opinion immature. You are pregnant. Use the correct word. It’s not even harder to say or much longer to type.
Additionally, you and your husband are not pregnant. You are pregnant. It’s not really a joint medical situation. You can say “we’re expecting” or “we’re having a baby in x amount of months” but “we’re” not pregnant. Your husband will never use it in a singular form.

LCRbelle · June 2018

Yes!! Couldn’t agree more. I HATE the term preggers preggo etc.

leighbrek · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee I did the whole rant to my friend about the "we're pregnant" thing not all that long ago! I think I offended her, Hahaha.

Unpopular opinion.. Keep in mind I live in Canada and get a year of maternity leave when I say that it drives me a little bananas when the father insists he gets half the parental leave. Are his breasts going to explode if he doesn't feed the baby? Did he go through hell to bring baby into the world? Rant rant rant. I'm the main provider in my household and fully intend to use at least 8 months of parental leave. It's not a vacation - it's taking care of my child.

skilouise · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee

Your second UO was going to be mine today as well! I've never liked the phrase "we are pregnant," but now I really hate it. "We" are not going through all the nausea/ aversions/ exhaustion/ etc of pregnancy.

kns1988 · June 2018

leighbrek, I had a perk when I came back to work after DS that I could work 2 days a week from home. It was taken away after 3 months because there were a lot of new dads in the department, and they were upset that they didn't have the same perk. I was breastfeeding! It's so, so different to have to shut yourself up in a little room multiple times a day and sit with your tits in a machine. Ugh. Still salty about it.

kns1988 · June 2018

UO: I don't think everyone should go to college. Going to trade school is a totally viable option, and some kids are being done a disservice by being pressured into college. They come out with so much debt when they could be making decent salaries doing jobs that don't require a bachelor's degree.

jgil85 · June 2018

I hate when men say they're babysitting their children. NO YOU'RE NOT!!!! You are taking care of your child. My bil is constantly talking about babysitting his girls and I get so mad about it. Is your wife babysitting them all day,every day?

molosmiles · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee YES! The preggers things was going to be my UO today too. And Preggo. Hate it.

I had another but pregnancy brain and all.

leighbrek · June 2018

@kns1988 Omg! I would also be super bitter. I'm entirely for equality, don't get me wrong, but this whole thing is biological, and we are not the same biologically!
I have many more comments to make, but I'm afraid they run into the Rated R category.

saltedcaramel518 · June 2018

I don’t like nicknames. I don’t understand why someone will name their kid xyz but call them x. Why not just name them x?

ETA: I do understand that some nicknames happen organically, but I also hear of a lot of people that plan on a child going by a nickname from birth.

skilouise · June 2018

@saltedcaramel518 Nicknames are more casual, and may not be ideal for use outside of family or friends. We'd probably use James for a boy, nn Jamie. But I also recognize that a DS might at some point decide the nickname sounds too "young." Or he might be fine with friends and family calling him that, but want to use the more formal "James" in a professional setting. A name with nn gives that flexibility, whereas using the nn from the beginning wouldn't.

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

I'm all about nicknames so I don't agree with you at all @saltedcaramel518. I like that my daughter (Elizabeth) has options. I have a name with no nickname possibilities and I've never liked my name so if my daughter grows up and hates her name then at least she can pick a name she likes from the available nicknames Elizabeth provides while still having a formal professional name.

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

I have another that will probably cause some butt hurt and I'm way too salty this morning to actually get into right now.

skilouise · June 2018

sparkymcgeee said:

I have another that will probably cause some butt hurt and I'm way too salty this morning to actually get into right now.

Now I'm dying to know!

mamadaisy13141619 · June 2018

AshVA said:

sparkymcgeee said:

I have another that will probably cause some butt hurt and I'm way too salty this morning to actually get into right now.

Now I'm dying to know!

Me too!

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

Let's just say it's about the ridiculous board politics going on right now and it's stupid.

katethemom · June 2018

@jgil85 I hate that, too! You can't babysit your own kid!

I don't like it when parents let their kids lay down on the lower shelf of shopping carts. I understand kids get tired, but I don't think it's too much to ask that they walk around with you while you're shopping and even help out. They can rest when they get home.

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

katethemom said:

@jgil85 I hate that, too! You can't babysit your own kid!

I don't like it when parents let their kids lay down on the lower shelf of shopping carts. I understand kids get tired, but I don't think it's too much to ask that they walk around with you while you're shopping and even help out. They can rest when they get home.

I refuse to let my kids. They know not to do it. On the rare occasion they try, I stop dead in my tracks and make them move. It's not safe. It's not sanitary and I won't let it happen.

nononorman · June 2018

Don’t get me hyped about drama and not share it people!!! I’m looking at you @sparkymcgeee and @leighbrek

i say pregs but hate when people say preggo and then make it seem like Prego. Prego/preggo puns are the worst.

And it read the nickname UO as more like - don’t give your kid the first name of “Mary Catherine” when you intend to call her Katie. There’s no need for a big long formal name when a nickname is a proper name on it’s own. I’m not saying you can’t have Oliver/Ollie but I think there is a trend of going overboard with long waspy two name first names that will never be used except on a resume.

My UO: i unabashedly love watching drama. When people say “no drama!!!” I’m like ok bai this will be boring.

emmaaa · June 2018

sparkymcgeee said:

I have another that will probably cause some butt hurt and I'm way too salty this morning to actually get into right now.

Now you have to say it. Can't tease like that~

jgil85 · June 2018

@Potterphile I watch Teen Mom 2 and it drives me crazy that Leah named her daughter Aleeah Grace and calls her Gracie 99% of the time!!! You should have just named her Gracie then!!!

leighbrek · June 2018

@Potterphile Hahaha, mine wasn't about drama! I was going to make a comment about men complaining they didn't get the same work from home benefit as new mothers, with a suggestion that maybe special boxes should be installed in the office just for men to go entertain themselves for a bit so they can stop being such uptight dipwads.

bdream0916 · June 2018

I appreciate having the option of using my full name or just telling people my nickname. I like when family calls me by my nn because it feels more personal. But I also like that I wasn't named my nn because my full name is beautiful. What if your kid likes the option of having both later on? It might feel annoying as parents but I feel like it's better for the kid to at least have options... I mean, we are strapping them with a name they don't get to choose.

nononorman · June 2018

@leighbrek def not dramatic lol. I think men not GETTING the idea of maternity leave is standard

fortunately I think after one kid my husband now understands it’s no fun for me. I also spent a pretty good amount of time actually healing (was ten weeks before doctor cleared me for anything) so he knew I wasn’t just out picking dandelions and drinking beers. Definitely a lot of men who continue to be completely blind and ignorant about it though.

julesf817 · June 2018

kns1988 said:

UO: I don't think everyone should go to college. Going to trade school is a totally viable option, and some kids are being done a disservice by being pressured into college. They come out with so much debt when they could be making decent salaries doing jobs that don't require a bachelor's degree.

YES! My husband is a union carpenter. He supports us and makes more than i did working at a hedge fund. Sometimes he feels bad about the fact that he didn’t finish college which makes me sad. His brother is also a carpenter and went back to school because he felt bad about it too. Guess what he’s doing now that he graduated? Carpentry.

julesf817 · June 2018

Helicopter moms drive me nuts. I get it when they are toddlers but by three or four, calm down. I’m at a pond beach right now and there are lots of kids. This one Mom is literally in the middle of this group of kids dictating everything they do. “Put sand here! Pour water there!”

FFS make sure they don’t drown and just let them play! I like playing with my kid but when there are other kids around, I sit back and watch. They need a chance to figure things out.

libertymomrn · June 2018

kns1988 said:

UO: I don't think everyone should go to college. Going to trade school is a totally viable option, and some kids are being done a disservice by being pressured into college. They come out with so much debt when they could be making decent salaries doing jobs that don't require a bachelor's degree.

Exactly! My husband started going to college around 15 years ago, in an academic scholarship. Then he decided that wasn’t what he wanted to do, so he stopped going. He works as a building contractor and a machinist and makes more money than most of his family who have college degrees. And it also doesn’t mean he’s not as smart as those who went to college; he can more than hold his own in any intellectual discussion with my brothers who have doctorates and PhDs.

libertymomrn · June 2018

bdream0916 said:

I appreciate having the option of using my full name or just telling people my nickname. I like when family calls me by my nn because it feels more personal. But I also like that I wasn't named my nn because my full name is beautiful. What if your kid likes the option of having both later on? It might feel annoying as parents but I feel like it's better for the kid to at least have options... I mean, we are strapping them with a name they don't get to choose.

I’m agree with this. My oldest has a more unique first name and we purposely gave him a more common middle name that he could choose to go by if he doesn’t like having a more unique name. He’s 10 now and has fully embraced and likes his unique first name, but I’m still glad he has the option.

eleven_ · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee You have to spill now. Distract me from my shitty week with some board drama

.

sfgiantsgamerbabe · June 2018

I’m joining the “we’re pregnant” pet peeve bandwagon.

I also agree with trade schools. There are so many amazing careers you can have without a 4 year degree and end up making more money.

eleven_ · June 2018

I don't give AF if DH said we're pregnant as long as he continues to get me things from the grocery store when I want them. He seriously is willing to drop everything to get me that vanilla ice cream or <insert weird pregnancy craving here> whenever I ask. He also will pick up all the slack around the house when I'm too sick to function and when I need a break from the kids. If he wants to tell people we are pregnant, I'm cool with it.

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

Okay but I don't want to be called the board bully or be reported. I don't need that kind of crap. Disagree if you want but keep it civil.

I think the more recent development across all of the boards of "we can only post this at this time and in this thread" is ridiculous. One BMB board decided they wanted a specific way to have things run and it's like gospel. It's annoying. Especially to the people that have been around for almost a decade. "One off" posts are not that big of a deal. They really aren't. It doesn't clutter up the board as much as some people might think. In the grand scheme of things does it matter that someone we don't know all that well YET made a one off post? No. It also bothers me that it seems to be a few posters who think THEIR one off posts are fine. Other posters not so much. I don't want this to become a clique-ish board this early on. Like no. There are no board rulers. You don't get to determine how we as a group are run because you got knocked up earlier than other people. We are still having people intro and I can guarantee from past experience the ebb and flow and coming and going of people will change over the course of the pregnancy and beyond. I've been with some May11 people for almost 8 years now and July13 for almost 6. Please don't think you are a queen bee because you've been here for a total of 7 days longer than others. Or even a month longer. Let's find our rhythm before all of these ridiculous rules take over and make this place no fun at all.

nononorman · June 2018

Just remembered a divisive thing that does bother me:
i find it really odd when people don’t want to cut their kids hair, particularly boys and then they have 5yo boys that get confused for girls. Per some comments last week, I don’t think you get to be mad about that. But what really bothers me about it is I have asked before about why ppl do it and several of them have said things like “once you cut their hair it means they’re not a baby anymore” or “I want to keep him a baby forever”. You don’t get to keep your kids young forever... that’s the nature of kids -they grow up.

saltedcaramel518 · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee 100% agree.

ETA: I find it especially frustrating when the supposedly unwanted one-off posts keep getting bumped up by people posting gifs or whatever. I know some people say it’s to show newbies that these kinds of posts are unwanted, but guess what? The newbies that make those posts aren’t lurking, so they’re not going to see them anyway.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · June 2018

UO: In a few moms groups on facebook and moms LOVE to post pictures of their kid's rashes or more recently poop and have the group diagnose what is wrong with their child. This has become acceptable in the place of seeking medical advice. I'm no doctor and have no idea about your child's health history, why would I know what is the cause of a rash?? I get going to the doctor is expensive but really....

skilouise · June 2018

I have mixed feelings about one-off threads. I'm not at all a fan of solo intros or Ramzi type threads, because those really show that the OP didn't bother to spend 2 minutes looking around the board before posting. For other one-off threads, my personal opinion varies depending on whether the OP is very AW/Dear Diary-ish, vs geared towards starting a conversation.

I personally much prefer the more consolidated threads because there are already SO many check ins and other ongoing conversations that it gets hard to keep track of them. However, I can understand the appeal of threads geared just towards food aversions/ pregnancy brain/ whatever, as long as they're targeted towards a group discussion.

I will say that the response to one- off threads has been really inconsistent, which is probably confusing for new members. Sometimes a thread starts off with a very AWish OP, but is dragged into a broader group discussion by subsequent posters. Other times the OP is just snarked constantly.

galactickates · June 2018

These forums are like people. You get certain things from certain people in your life right? Maybe you have a big group of friends you can go have fun with, that thrives on chaos, you like to hang out with them once in awhile definitely not all the time... Maybe you have a more intelligent group of friends you like to go get coffee with, or play board games with, maybe have over for dinner, that feeds the science and thoughtful conversation side of your brain. Most likely you also have a best friend that gives you a little bit of both. These forums are just like that. If you want more chaos BC is the place to go. TB isn't BC. If it was I wouldn't be here. We have 9 pages of introductions. We don't need 100 posts about single symptoms. We're trying to get to know each other here and maybe one day move to Facebook where we are sharing more intimate details of our lives. The purpose of this specific community (our bmb) is that we're having shared experience and offer each other support. I'm not interested in indulging drive bys and AW that aren't giving back to this community. I am also totally fine with one off posts IF they are one of the following -
are inclusive, you need support, or spark conversation. One off symptom threads are a huge pet peeve of mine.

But all that to say, I don't own this BMB. If everyone else enjoys the one off AW symptom threads I'll keep my mouth shut and go with the flow.

ETA I probably won't keep my mouth shut but feel free to ignore my responses

skilouise · June 2018

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt said:

UO: In a few moms groups on facebook and moms LOVE to post pictures of their kid's rashes or more recently poop and have the group diagnose what is wrong with their child. This has become acceptable in the place of seeking medical advice. I'm no doctor and have no idea about your child's health history, why would I know what is the cause of a rash?? I get going to the doctor is expensive but really....

bdream0916 · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee I completely agree with you.

eleven_ · June 2018

I really don't see how this board has become clique-ish. Maybe it's because I am an end-of-the-monther and have been MIA this week, but it feels like we all get along pretty well. We don't have to agree on how to deal with the one-off posts. If you enjoy them, cool. If not, post your funny GIFs and move on. It's really not that serious.

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