@the-lo what @mockingjay1 said applies to my dh too. he was pretty outwardly nonchalant during my pregnancy (kinda this one too), but the second baby got here (dramatically) he was 100% in dad mode. thankfully he jumped right in with everything. but, there was definitely a rough patch where i had to chill out and realize he won’t do things the way i do them, and that his way of child rearing was good too. and really, if i can go off tangent a bit, letting him make his own mistakes and figure out stuff on his own was weirdly relaxing for me—like a load off my shoulders. kiddo was fine in the end (so far).
@highsteaks That's good to know! Mine is the same so far. I keep trying to impress upon him the seriousness of this situation but he's TOTALLY chill about it. I have a feeling I'll have to do a lot of shrugging and "I don't know, just try it" when baby gets here.
I do need to remember to step back and observe rather than manage. Even if that makes him really frustrated.
Look at it like you would your child's birthday. When they're 15 months old, they're in their second year, but are only one since their 2nd birthday hasn't happened yet.
@the-lo My DH read a little bit of one parenting book but it was like pulling teeth to get him to do it. He just hates reading. So instead I would share little tid-bits here and there (“Make sure you check her toes and fingers when she’s crying to make sure a hair didn’t get wrapped around them”), the less obvious things he wouldn’t think to notice. But paternal instincts are a real thing and DH was often able to soothe her better than I was, despite all I’d read and prepared for. He was a master burper and swaddler.
I applaud you for setting expectations in advance ie dinner and baby duties. I stayed home with DD while DH worked but even so, it was exhausting being up all night, taking care of the baby alone during the day, making dinner, then cleaning up the kitchen, then doing bath time. One night after dinner I said “Do you want to do bath time or clean the kitchen?” He chose bath time and it’s been their special time together ever since.
@MojieJo That's what I figured! Makes the most sense.
@MouseMama817 That's so much work! I'll be at home, too, but after a while I'll transition to freelance remote work. I told him I could see this blowing up later and he agreed haha. I'm really looking forward to seeing what particular flavor of parenting he has
I never took a birthing class with DS, I did a little bit of reading here and there but DH did not. One great thing about DSD existing is that DH was already comfortable around newborns and a big help while I was getting used to caring for a baby.
My weekly random: Today I went on my first interview for a teaching position, I have a few others scheduled for next week. I am just nervous/anxious about how to bring up my pregnancy after I do accept a position. I know it is illegal to deny someone employment for being pregnant, but I am not taking any chances by announcing it during my interviews. I am plus size so currently they wouldn't be able to really tell if I am or not. I just keep imagining the look on admins face when they take a chance on a brand new teacher and then I drop the bomb that I will need 6 weeks off first semester.
MH is also very laid back about my pregnancy, and he was when I was pregnant with DD too. He didn't fully "connect" until DD was a couple of months old. That doesn't mean he wasn't excited or happy, it's just that babies are kind of weird and disconnected, so he did much better once she was a little older. He only read one book when I was pregnant, and I don't think he even read it the whole way through. Really, dads will figure it out when the baby comes. Once you have the baby, he may end up pulling up Google and trying to figure things out for himself. All that to say, I wouldn't stress about him not reading any books or being a little disconnected at this stage.
MH was the same as a lot of yours. He didn't read any books, just listened to the tidbits that I told him and learned after she was born. He's never been around infants and still picked everything up pretty quickly.
It's my birthday today!! It's also the toughest day of the year work-wise for me, so I am just counting down the hours until I get out, cause I took tomorrow off to celebrate with DH!
Me: 34 DH: 34 Married 10/28/17 Our TTC Journey
TTC #1 February '18 Team Green turned TeamBlue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21 BFP June '21 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21 Jan '22 - started IF testing BFP Jan '22 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22 BFP May '22
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
Also, my littlest nephew was born yesterday (older brother's son) via scheduled c-section!!! He is 6.93lbs, 19 inches long and a cutie! Now we have to figure out a time to go up and visit (likely will be whenever ever my mom travels out here to see them).
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
TTC #1 February '18 Team Green turned TeamBlue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21 BFP June '21 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21 Jan '22 - started IF testing BFP Jan '22 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22 BFP May '22
It's my birthday today!! It's also the toughest day of the year work-wise for me, so I am just counting down the hours until I get out, cause I took tomorrow off to celebrate with DH!
Oooookay need to rant for a minute. We have a family What'sApp group with DH parents and brother. I had messaged an update using little man's name - We have settled on Orin. Which husband and I both love as it different without being weird. MIL's first response was "Orin? Really?" And then I followed up with "Yep Orin Royce G(our last name)" to which she responded "You realize his initials read as orgy" Fucking seriously?!? Ugh. First off I feel that is a stretch and second why would you say something like that to the person who has clearly chosen the name
Add to that that 5 minutes later my OB's office called to say that they need to see me sooner than my next appt to review today's follow up ultrasound and I am officially freaking out. I had some spotting 2 weeks ago so this is my 3rd ultrasound in 2 weeks and I had gotten the all clear both after the initial ultrasound and on Monday. Scary to keep having things crop up. I am trying to take comfort in the fact that if it was an emergency they would have told me to come in right away or go to my nearest emergency room but still so nerve wracking. I just want the little man to be healthy and okay with no concerns
@rmg85 I’m sorry about all the stress re spotting/ultrasound! I’d be really worried too. Hopefully all looks good at the next appointment and you can relax a little bit.
Your MIL is soooo rude. I think Orin Royce is a really cute name! I really like it.
@rmg85 I'm sorry you are having some added stress from your OB. Also, family members can be a-holes. We are naming our little girl Everly Blaine (Blaine is my dad's middle name) and both my mom and MIL were being real B's when we told them. I sent a picture of the sign we had made for the nursery and both of them included "you can always buy another sign" in their lengthy responses. *eye roll*
@rmg85 So sorry to hear about the added stress. When is your appointment to discuss the results? @lurvleybunchococonuts Yay! Congrats on a new nephew. You'll have to let us know whenever you make it out to see the little cutie. @tessiesmom26 Happy birthday!!! That's awful you have such a busy day of work on your birthday. I hope it goes by quickly and you enjoy your day off tomorrow. What are your plans?
@offtoneverland@BabyBoyH92016@middleschoolmommy - my regular family doctor called to make sure I had more information before my OB follow up on Tuesday. They are concerned that little man may have a heart arythmia or some kind of blockage because his heart rate was dipping as low as 65bpm this morning. I was assured it is not an emergency and I don't need to be on bed rest but I am freaking out. Going to take the afternoon from work. She thinks they will end up booking me in for a fetal echo - which is an extra detailed ultrasound to get a better look at his heart.
@middleschoolmommy - Everly Blaine is beautiful and what a nice way to honor your Dad.
@BabyBoyH92016 - Thanks! Hubby and I both love it too. And thanks for the validation that it was rude. Wasn't sure if I was being too sensitive
@offtoneverland Not sure yet! We were going to go to a nearby island, but all the walking at the casino a few weeks left me in a lot of pain so we need to do something that doesn't involve too much walking. We might go into the city or down the cape for the day! Tonight we are going to a yummy Italian place and I can't wait to eat my heart out on their pasta!
Me: 34 DH: 34 Married 10/28/17 Our TTC Journey
TTC #1 February '18 Team Green turned TeamBlue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21 BFP June '21 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21 Jan '22 - started IF testing BFP Jan '22 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22 BFP May '22
@smulrich16 the heart rate max is a very old way of looking at it. One of my doctor's said 160 and then I asked again at the next appointment after reading up on the topic. Recent studies say to go based on being able to talk while working out. You shouldnt be so out of breath you can't speak.
@rmg85@middleschoolmommy I can't believe people who criticize name choices. We didn't tell anyone even our tops picks with DD because best case they love it and we were going to use it anyway, worst case we use it and know that so-and-so hated our baby's name. Seeing stuff like this makes me even more certain that we won't be telling family our names this time either.
@rmg85@middleschoolmommy I can't believe people who criticize name choices. We didn't tell anyone even our tops picks with DD because best case they love it and we were going to use it anyway, worst case we use it and know that so-and-so hated our baby's name. Seeing stuff like this makes me even more certain that we won't be telling family our names this time either.
Same!!! You’re always guaranteed to find someone who will tell you they don’t like your names. We actually use a few “decoy” names - they rhyme with our last time so we would never actually use them. And just wait to see if someone calls us on it.
@rmg hope all is well with Orin at your next check up!
@ftm_jen Yeah, I plan to revisit it with him at my next appointment. In the meantime, I'm trying to be good at the gym - although sometimes I don't even realize when it jumps over 120.
Y'all I'm sitting in Starbucks ALONE! No kid!! It's bliss! Also, I'm having a prenatal massage. I swear, I kinda feel like a princess right now, even tho I have no makeup on, lol.
I'm hopefully going to look at some rockers/gliders this weekend and I'm ridiculously excited about it especially after feeling like an old lady trying to get off my couch yesterday
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
I really don’t get how people cosleep with their kids on the reg. I’m not judging, you do you. But we usually have a strict no kids in the bed policy. Last night though, DD wanted to sleep in our bed and she was really sick and scared so we let her. It was AWFUL. She insisted on sleeping horizontally and/or on top of us. And she moves around a lot. We have a king size bed but somehow the person who is 3 feet tall and weighs 29lbs takes up 2/3 of it. The thermometer said she had a temp of 101 but it felt like 201. And she was loud! So, it will probably be a fight to get her in her own bed tonight but it’s gotta happen.
@lifesabeach85 we don’t co sleep either, never have, but when DD is sick, I’ll bring her in to bed with me. And I always regret it because she gets so excited to be in our bed that she won’t go to sleep. She will toss and turn and sing and poke..... so she ends up going back in to her bed anyway.
@lifesabeach85 I’ve had the same thought several times. We don’t co sleep, but on occasion when my son is sick we have brought him into bed. We also have a king size bed, but he literally tries to lay across my face.
@lifesabeach85 - I totally agree! Whatever works for people, but I don't sleep worth a darn if DS is in bed with us. The first time he had croup he woke up struggling to get a breath and started turning blue until he finally coughed a bunch of mucous all over. Scariest moment of my mom life. We went to the ER to get steroids and he was fine. Any time he starts getting that croupy cough again (3-4x since) I let him sleep in our bed so I can monitor him better. I'm sure part of it is he's sick so I don't sleep as well because I'm worried, but he tosses and turns and limbs are everywhere... no way could I do it regularly.
*TW*
Me:35 DH:35 Dx: PCOS DS1 born 11/2014 DS2 born 11/2018 3 previous losses Rainbow babydue 12/2021 - Team Green
Re: co-sleeping. Def not planning on co-sleeping. I have friends that do and love it. If it's your thing, you go for it. I just can't imagine. As it is me, DH, and the cats fight for sleep. DSD has slept with us after a bad nightmare or in a hotel in the past and it was AWFUL! She gets her own bed now. She would sleep horizontally across the bed, feet in your back or 1/2 draped across you. Nope nope nope. I value my sleep too much.
Also, got my rocker/glider!!!! Soooo happy especially getting it for $15!!!
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
MH put on Playing it Cool first thing this morning. Chris Evans at 7am? *drool*
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
Re: Weekly Randoms 6/11
@smulrich16 You're right. He's definitely nesting hardcore. Maybe the third trimester will be crunch time.
I do need to remember to step back and observe rather than manage. Even if that makes him really frustrated.
Here's another Q - if I'm in my 5th month, am I 4 months (since i've completed 4 months) or am I 5 months pregnant?
Look at it like you would your child's birthday. When they're 15 months old, they're in their second year, but are only one since their 2nd birthday hasn't happened yet.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
I applaud you for setting expectations in advance ie dinner and baby duties. I stayed home with DD while DH worked but even so, it was exhausting being up all night, taking care of the baby alone during the day, making dinner, then cleaning up the kitchen, then doing bath time. One night after dinner I said “Do you want to do bath time or clean the kitchen?” He chose bath time and it’s been their special time together ever since.
@MouseMama817 That's so much work! I'll be at home, too, but after a while I'll transition to freelance remote work. I told him I could see this blowing up later and he agreed haha. I'm really looking forward to seeing what particular flavor of parenting he has
My weekly random: Today I went on my first interview for a teaching position, I have a few others scheduled for next week. I am just nervous/anxious about how to bring up my pregnancy after I do accept a position. I know it is illegal to deny someone employment for being pregnant, but I am not taking any chances by announcing it during my interviews. I am plus size so currently they wouldn't be able to really tell if I am or not. I just keep imagining the look on admins face when they take a chance on a brand new teacher and then I drop the bomb that I will need 6 weeks off first semester.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
congrats @lurvleybunchococonuts to you and your family!!!!
@lurvleybunchococonuts - Congratulations to your family!
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
@lurvleybunchococonuts congrats on the new n
Add to that that 5 minutes later my OB's office called to say that they need to see me sooner than my next appt to review today's follow up ultrasound and I am officially freaking out. I had some spotting 2 weeks ago so this is my 3rd ultrasound in 2 weeks and I had gotten the all clear both after the initial ultrasound and on Monday. Scary to keep having things crop up. I am trying to take comfort in the fact that if it was an emergency they would have told me to come in right away or go to my nearest emergency room but still so nerve wracking. I just want the little man to be healthy and okay with no concerns
Your MIL is soooo rude. I think Orin Royce is a really cute name! I really like it.
@lurvleybunchococonuts Yay! Congrats on a new nephew. You'll have to let us know whenever you make it out to see the little cutie.
@tessiesmom26 Happy birthday!!! That's awful you have such a busy day of work on your birthday. I hope it goes by quickly and you enjoy your day off tomorrow. What are your plans?
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
@middleschoolmommy - Everly Blaine is beautiful and what a nice way to honor your Dad.
@BabyBoyH92016 - Thanks! Hubby and I both love it too. And thanks for the validation that it was rude. Wasn't sure if I was being too sensitive
@middleschoolmommy Everly Blaine is a beautiful name!
@offtoneverland Not sure yet! We were going to go to a nearby island, but all the walking at the casino a few weeks left me in a lot of pain so we need to do something that doesn't involve too much walking. We might go into the city or down the cape for the day! Tonight we are going to a yummy Italian place and I can't wait to eat my heart out on their pasta!
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
@rmg hope all is well with Orin at your next check up!
I'm hopefully going to look at some rockers/gliders this weekend and I'm ridiculously excited about it especially after feeling like an old lady trying to get off my couch yesterday
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
Also, got my rocker/glider!!!! Soooo happy
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------