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October 2018 Moms
cjx95
member
Birth plans!
cjx95
member
After some lurking in the med free thread I've learned I have no idea about birth plans. So in case there are other mom's who are interested in them and don't have much info I figured we could share some stuff in its own thread?
Do you have or plan to have one or just going with the flow?
STMs did you have stuff on your first you won't this time around?
Anything you didn't have and plan to have this time?
Any questions??
Do you have or plan to have one or just going with the flow?
STMs did you have stuff on your first you won't this time around?
Anything you didn't have and plan to have this time?
Any questions??
Re: Birth plans!
Not sure how you can "plan" child birth and I'm a big planner. It feels like there is a lot of unknowns so it will be hard. I'm also guessing my child birth classes will help me decide about if I need a plan or not?
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
2.) Defer all judgment to the professionals.
3.) Birth baby.
4.) Go home.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I think we all realize that you can't script a birth. But that doesn't mean we can't research our options and prepare as much as possible.
I'll share mine here for anyone interested:
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
ETA: I like it a lot because they have images for pretty much everything. Most visual birth plans I've found were very med-free oriented but this has options for whatever type of birth you're planning.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Seriously though, I did write down a birth plan when I was pregnant without DD1, and I think it helped me think though the birth process and deal with some of the worries I had going into it. Generally speaking though I think that’s where the usefulness of birth plans ends. Obviously most of the birth process winds up being out of our hands. Mostly I’m expecting to show up, listen to my doctors, get an epidural and have a baby.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
This time I do want to try laboring in the hot shower before I go to the hospital and I would like to try the birthing tub at the hospital if it’s open.
I plan to get an epidural, but I plan to ask them to turn it down when it comes time to push. Last time I was too afraid to and I couldn’t feel a thing, even pressure. I think pushing would have been way faster if I could feel.
Once baby is born I want to hold her first then they get so all the meds and what not.
My big goal this time is to try to keep an open
mind and manage my anxiety. I didn’t realize how bad it could be until last time and it took over.
I brought it to the hospital but never gave it to the nurses. By the time I was in labor I did not care as much and trusted judgement of my nurses (they were amazing).
Plus my hospital is very baby/mother bonding friendly so most of the stuff I wished were things they did anyways.
I will say one think that will get you on your nurses “good list” and develop a relationship is to bring a card for the L&D nurses and some bags of chocolate for them. I had lots of happy faces stop by the room and say hi and ask if I needed anything, and I can’t say for sure, but I think the chocolate helped!
So even if you don’t have a plan, establishing friendly communication is a must during labor so there are no misunderstandings when it comes time to deliver.
I don't want to scare anyone but I also wish someone had prepared me before I went in for the possibility that just because I was being cooperative and following the doctor's advice, doesn't mean that I was going to be treated appropriately. That's why I'm such a strong advocate for research and making sure you have an advocate with you to speak up for you when you're being treated poorly.
Thanks to ODD's birth, I'm not afraid of giving birth again but I AM afraid of giving birth in a hospital again.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I know my hospital is very pro-breastfeeding, so I don’t have to worry about them offering pacis or bottles while I’m resting. But they’re supportive if you choose to bottle feed from day one, so I don’t need to worry about being shamed if I decide not to. No ones going to know I’m in labor so I don’t need to tell them to deny visitors.
I will be very vocal about H cutting the cord tho! They handed him the scissors before Z was out and then the nurse that delivered him did it before H had even put my leg down! He was PISSED!
I can’t remember what else was on my birth plan...
My hospital actually has a template birthplan that I am planning to use. Mostly it is a checklist form of what you want and don’t want. Yes, I want delayed cord clamping, no, I don’t want baby circumcised if applicable. Since it is their form, they should quickly and easily be able to find and answer any questions they have about items that appear on it (which are pretty standard items on birth plans as far as I have been able to determine.
I will probably have a short addendum to their form with a few things like “keep your hands off my parts unless I’m actively pushing.” (I don’t want random people floating through doing cervical checks.)
My plan is just always to have the baby in the safest way possible for both of us. When I developed preeclampsia at 36 weeks 4 days, any and all plans I had went out the window (not that I had many to begin with). I didn’t want the epidural, but ended up needing to have it because of my blood pressure. My son was born limp due to the magnesium I had to be on, so there was no skin to skin immediately because NICU had to check him out to make sure he didn’t need any further treatment. Just keep in mind that your birth plan may only work in the most ideal situations and things may change. Even breastfeeding ended up being a bit of a challenge at first when he ended up with jaundice and in NICU for three days on a strict schedule. We formula fed because I wanted us to go home and I pumped to keep up my milk production.
As for being cooperative, it definitely helped that I trusted my last OB completely and totally so it wasn’t a huge deal with my first two. I was definitely in a different situation though, with the complications. I’m a little more nervous this time around and have a huge fear that this will end up being a csection. I’ll probably ask if the hospital has birthing/exercise balls because that helped immensely the second time around with back labor.
But in general I go with:
#1 Baby and mom go home safely
* No meds for as long as I can, but it's an option if I decide it is
* No eye ointment
* Yes vit K and hep vaccine
* Circumcision if applicable (obviously later)
Skin to skin immediately, delayed cord clamping, and such are all standard at my hospital. I need to speak with my dr about the delayed clamping though. DS was very jaundice and was under lights for 3 days. If there is a possibility/likelihood of a similar situation I might skip the delayed clamping. The benefits are great... except when they're not.
One for the staff was bullets point for basic medically relavent preferences for labor, birth, and immediately after. Short and sweet. Nothing too detailed.
One for support team had less medicinal info, more personal reminders (my mantras, keep me hydrated, dim lights, etc). It was longer and more detailed.
This time around, the only changes I will make are to really avoid being induced - last time it was a necessity but I'd like to not do it this time - and speak up more for myself. I was at a busy city hospital and it's one of the top for childbirth in the whole world, but it can still be common to feel like a number. I had a shitty nurse, for example. So this time, for example, if my nurse sucks, I will ask for a new person to be assigned. That kinda thing.
@HoosOnFirst I got an epi at 4cm last time also because I couldn't take the pain anymore ( I was also on pitocin) I've also heard pitocin makes contractions worse but I've had it both times so I've never experienced labor without it. I'd be interested to hear from someone who has delivered a baby with and without pitocin.
I also think coming up with a birth plan to review with your OB. L&D can really play by it's own rules, and of course the goal is a healthy baby and mom, but it is nice to get comfortable with the Dr and get an idea of how some stuff might go.
For me, I'm scheduled for a CS on October 9th! DS was a rough labor that ended in CS, and then DD was scheduled. I have to say, I thought it would be easy peasy going in there, but I was really nervous and got anxiety and cried when they were doing the needle and stuff. So, not a birth plan per se, but I'd like to find a way to go in there in a better frame of mind this time (if possible).
In all seriousness though, i think the whole birth plan stage is a good opportunity to have a convo with your spouse/birthing partner about how you guys will handle things that don't go according to plan. i.e. What if you're in distress? What if baby is in distress? What if you're BOTH in distress?? What if you need general anesthesia or blood transfusions, or some procedure that keeps you from baby for hours after birth?
I truly hope that no one here has that experience, but if anyone does, having talked about it in advance with someone who will be there and able to advocate for you will make it so much easier to cope with. I spent my last pregnancy preparing for my long drug free birth, with every doctor telling me not to even think about a c-section because it won't happen, and then when it did happen, i couldn't process it. Have a plan B. Bodies and babies are crazy, and all you can do is be ready for any and everything.
Try and find out what the “normal procedures” are at your hospital, your OB/midwife should be able to help with that, and then don’t bother including them. For example our hospital does routine skin-to-skin, automatic delayed cord clamping with preemies, rooming in, and delayed first bath for 24 hours, so including those in the birth plan just takes up more space and is redundant.
Things about pain management, dim lights, avoiding forceps or preferring to attempt forceps/vacuum to a c-section, those kind of things are great.
Edited for spelling
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
This time I feel like I will have even less of a say so birth wise since there are two, I am pretty much expecting a c-section which terrifies me. I hear recovery is so difficult, but as long as babies are healthy I won't complain too much. I plan to be my own advocate for BFing this time since I know so much more now. I plan to latch them as often as I can if they are not needing nicu or any interventions and otherwise I am demanding a pump.