Not related to pregnancy RANTS, RAVES

piping_panda_mom · May 2018

Just a post completely unrelated so we can have bitch fests, or bragging rights!

Today, I have a RANT that I can't even get over. My ex boyfriend I had been with for 8 years, who I'd planned on marrying and starting a family with, is an idiot. Worst part is that I still love him. Not that I'd ever go back.

Anyway, we broke up in august and since then, I've befriended his new girlfriend. She's insanely similar to myself. But after chatting with her and hearing of their recent breakup, she tells me all the things he promised and never followed through with. Just as he did with me. He's even taken her to the exact same places as me. She showed me pictures of them and get this...I have the same pictures except that it's him, my daughter, and myself. IT GETS BETTER!! He's going back to his exwife!

Oye, I'll tell ya, I dodged a bullet with that one!

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

piping_panda_mom said:

Just a post completely unrelated so we can have bitch fests, or bragging rights!

Today, I have a RANT that I can't even get over. My ex boyfriend I had been with for 8 years, who I'd planned on marrying and starting a family with, is an idiot. Worst part is that I still love him. Not that I'd ever go back.

Anyway, we broke up in august and since then, I've befriended his new girlfriend. She's insanely similar to myself. But after chatting with her and hearing of their recent breakup, she tells me all the things he promised and never followed through with. Just as he did with me. He's even taken her to the exact same places as me. She showed me pictures of them and get this...I have the same pictures except that it's him, my daughter, and myself. IT GETS BETTER!! He's going back to his exwife!

Oye, I'll tell ya, I dodged a bullet with that one!

I apologize if I'm just completely missing the point... *scratching head* Congrats on not still being with your ex? I am truly all sorts of puzzled by this post, but primarily why would you want to befriend your ex's GF, let alone your ex's now ex-gf? You admittedly still love this dude but are having someone else's child? I mean this is the most un-snarky of ways, I sincerely hope you figure it out. The best advise I received after a breakup was that, shit happens, exes are exes for a reason, learn from it, move on with your life, and leave it behind you. Worrying about an ex and/or their lives is pointless. Reminiscing about past wrong-doings or getting upset over stuff like this is not beneficial to you in any way, shape, or form.

AFM: my non-pregnancy related rant of the day is that it is only Tuesday. It definitely feels more like a Wednesday to me.

bswishe4 · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts I applaud your ability to respond so well. I am still sitting here scratching my head so thank you for handling this for the rest of us who did not know what to say.

highsteaks · May 2018

8 years is a long time to be with someone, no doubt long enough for him to have had a significant impact on the person you are today. so, i understand that it’s hard to live and let go. but @lurvleybunchococonuts’ words are wise, and old wounds fester when you don’t let them heal. i hope you find the peace to move on.

MouseMama817 · May 2018

Our fridge went out at some point yesterday evening although we didn’t realize it until we were loading groceries into it this morning. DH was able to upgrade to a much nicer fridge for only $600, which I realize is a great deal. But it’s still $600 we weren’t intending to spend.

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

@MouseMama817 Ugh how frustrating! Glad you caught it relatively quickly and were able to get a great deal replacing it! Are they able to delivery it today?

MouseMama817 · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts Actually yes! Miracle of miracles. The owner of the shop even did delivery and haul away for only an extra $20. DH bought it and the owner delivered it like 4 hours later. In the scheme of things, this was a relatively small fiasco. And we did plan on upgrading at some point because I despised the old refrigerator. It’s just the unexpected expense aspect that’s making me b*tch.

ashkee05 · May 2018

I agree with the ops post being super confusing. We need some answers lol

i am here the whine about my mini van hunt. All I want is a Honda Odyssey with dvd or res. Everytime we find one we like with decent miles it sells soooo fast! I am getting so frustrated. I’ve been saving and saving my down payment and I just want to buy my damn van! Lol

piping_panda_mom · May 2018

Lol sorry all, I was on a crazy rant!! I actually befriended his ex. We have similar history now and have actually bonded through it.

As for the confusion; I'll never stop loving this guy but I'll never go back to the misery I had when I was with him. Hindsight being 20/20, I realized that I was weak and he took advantage of that. And that's just not right, so there's my bullet I dodged.

I'm currently with a man I've known my entire life, and we've dated once before. I'm the happiest now than I've ever been in my life! We've discussed marriage, as well. He has a wonderful crazy DS, and myself a DD. We have integrated so smoothly together.

Why would I befriend my ex's ex? I have nothing against her. I broke up with him because I was ready after 8 years to move along with our relationship and he wasn't. He promised but didn't follow through. Our breakup was smooth and kind, and we are still kind to one another. I'm this way with most of my ex's, which is nice. Being friends, and I mean legitimate friends, allowed me to know he could move on. I love him, but never will be in love with him the same way again. I was friends with her and he knew my current SO.

She reached out to me asking if I'd spoken to him recently and I hadn't. And it all unfolded. So thank you lol yes, congrats on not being with my ex seemed perfectly placed. Had I not stood my ground when I left him, I'd still be dancing the same dance and not be where I am today.

I've never been happier and my SO as well

lachnessmomster · May 2018

@piping_panda_mom To me, it sounds like you're still doing the same dance, except now, you're doing it vicariously through someone else. That's great that you've gained a new girl friend through this, and I hope that you can continue to be friends now that they've broken up. But it's confusing to me, as it seems to be for everyone else, why you'd want to even be involved, however distantly, with their problems when you were trying to escape the same issues yourself.

So glad to hear that your new relationship is happy and healthy, though! Cheers to moving on!

highsteaks · May 2018

yea, i’d be cautious shooting the breeze with your ex’s ex, because the fact that she instigated a conversation about him sounds like SHE isn’t over it. messy. clean break.

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

I have all sorts of different (and likely unpopular) opinions regarding staying friends with exes, but that's me personally. It's one thing to wish an ex well and truly mean it, but it's another to categorize yourself as friends. If you can do it that's great; however, I've never actually seen it successfully happen (or at least not until many years later). After spending years together as a couple there's usually too much hurt involved. If you can accomplish that, kudos to you; however, based on your original post and your follow up post, it doesn't sound like you are friends with your ex. It sounds like there's still a lot of hurt and resentment involved. Which I think adds to the confusion of why you would want to bond with someone over said ex and focus on that negativity when you're now in a happy relationship. I understand not having anything against a person, but that doesn't automatically make me want to befriend them lol (maybe I'm too much of a bish in that sense)

And after 8 years it's not surprising for there to still be a lot of hurt involved.

As pp's stated, it's great to gain new friends and I hope it evolves past simply being exes with the same individual. I just caution to not let the ex be the focus of your interactions/friendship together. Out of curiosity, what is your SO's opinion/feelings on the matter and regarding your new friend? I'm so glad you're in a happy, healthy relationship now. That is truly wonderful!

highsteaks · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts so many very well said points.

lachnessmomster · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts YES. So much yes to everything here.

lifesabeach85 · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts Agreed. I can see being on good terms with an ex, but actually friends? Especially if you had a serious long term relationship. DH isn't a jealous guy but if I was still really chummy with an ex I think he'd be weirded out.

MouseMama817 · May 2018

This must be a personality thing. My best friend is this way as well where she is friends with almost all of her exes. Even the really toxic ones who clearly haven’t let go. It’s nerve wracking for me because she often falls back into things with guys who drag her down and I hate seeing that for her. Myself personally, I’m friends with 0 ex boyfriends. To me there’s a difference between wishing someone well and moving on, and maintaining a friendship which seems to me like keeping your options open. Agreed w/ PP’s about making sure your new friendship w/ your exes ex is predicated on more than your common history w/ this guy. It seems like you have a wonderful life with your new boyfriend; make sure he doesn’t feel disrespected by you keeping tabs on your past.

MojieJo · May 2018

My rave is that our 13th wedding anniversary (wow!) Is coming up on the 4th, so we're going on a weekend babymoon/anniversary trip this weekend to celebrate!

We're going to a spa near Wisconsin Dells and trying to just relax away from the kids for a couple days. I hope it's awesome, but even if it's not, it'll be nice just to get away.

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

@MojieJo oooo have a wonderful time! Where are you going? Sundara?

MojieJo · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts Thank you and yes, Sundara! We've never been, so I'm hoping I like it.

piping_panda_mom · May 2018

That's the best thing, ladies. We have bonded over so so much more than our common ex. She's like a little big sister. We chat about literally everything in life. And neither of us are in contact with our ex. Wow, that sounds really weird lol. My life has made a total 360. If and when the ex comes up, we just kinda roll our eyes and feel blessed that we've made friends with each other.

I love reading all of your raves! I love this group.

I had left the group I started with, with another app. Everyone was so cruel and judgmental. I don't see a stitch of that here and feel like I can talk about anything to everyone! Just a thank you to you all for being wonderful people and mothers!!

pink_polkadots · May 2018

I need to rant.

So my sister in law is one of those super crunchy moms. All organic, essential oils instead of medicine, anti vaccine, anti doctor, anti circumcision kind of mom. Which while some of it irritates the f*** out of me (ahem anti vaccine), whatever it’s her life, her body, her kids. She is constantly sharing crap on Facebook about how vaccines are poison and how the government is trying to kill us all with pharmaceuticals and how circumcision is mutilation. I always bite my tongue and scroll past as to keep the peace in the family.

But today she shared that she is at a doctors appointment to get checked for a gluten allergy. Apparently the doctor wanted her to get a Tetanus/diphtheria/whooping cough shot. Now she’s going on and on about how they pressured her to get the shot but she refused and there’s no way she’d get that shot... blah blah blah. I SOOOO want to comment “hey, if you wanna hold your new niece/nephew here in a few months you’re gonna need that diphtheria/whooping cough shot.” Whooping cough is no effing joke... especially in babies.... especially in NEW babies who haven’t had any vaccinations for it. But I don’t know if I can say something like that without causing drama. Because that’s another thing... she looooooves to create drama. And I’m just too tired for all that. She really irritates the f*** out of me. End rant.

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

@pink_polkadots Ooooo that's a rough one! Good luck! I probably wouldn't say anything, especially on FB about it (far too much drama would occur). But once it's closer to the time that LO arrives I would have a private conversation with her (or seeing as she's your sister-in-law have YH speak to her about it, I assume it's his sibling? Or is she the spouse of a sibling lol?) stating that you are not comfortable with her being in contact with the baby during peak illness times &/or until LO is older/has a more developed immune system. Anti-vaccination is one of those topics that I have a hard time taking the "to each their own" view point on. In general I also take a "your body, your choice, your kids" approach but so many people that choose not to vaccinate do not do it based on scientific data. They decide based on false information and hype and unfortunately it's usually kids that suffer because of it. Now if you have a legitimate allergy to an ingredient or something, that's a totally different issue, but if you're deciding not to because Jenny flippin' McCarthy says it causes autism you will receive a ton of side eye and not be around my child.

*stepping off my soapbox so as not to start a huge argument/debate just in case anyone here is anti-vaccination*

josie12367 · May 2018

@pink_polkadots Make sure she gets the TDAP and not just the TD version. Most offices only give the full version now a days, but it's the "p" pertussis part that protects against whooping cough

MouseMama817 · May 2018

@pink_polkadots Are we in the same family and don’t know it? Lol. My SIL isn’t that extreme but she does like to be contrarian to general societal guidelines. She will very proudly announce that she doesn’t believe in the flu vaccine (what does that even mean?) which is going to be a serious issue when this baby comes because if my days-old baby gets the flu it could most certainly kill him/her. I’m already stressing about those difficult conversations. I’m either going to have to be the bitch who makes people get the flu shot before visiting, or I’m going to have to be the psycho who has face masks and Germex by the front door for all the baby visitors.
Your SIL sounds like a judgemental nightmare, I’m really sorry. I do agree though that FB isn’t the place to address her awful anti-vac decisions. If you do end up having that conversation I hope you’ll share so I can get some inspiration!

pink_polkadots · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts ohh she’s such a strange person, even if i pulled her aside and tried to have a civilized conversation with her all it would result in is eye rolling and “mmmmmmkay” she’s my brothers wife. She’s always causing some kind of drama in the family, but for some reason he can stand her, so at this point we all just kind of suck it up and move on.

I totally agree on the anti vaccine thing too. If you are perfectly health-wise able to get vaccinated, and you choose NOT to... at that point it’s not your body, your choice, your kid. Not with vaccines. Because those illnesses that you can potentially catch and spread can infect and kill people who are UNABLE to get vaccines due to health reasons. And also. If someone wants to bring their Jenny McCarthy autism, Anti vaccine, Dr. Google PhD agenda to the table, I welcome it. Because... BOOM... science. ::mic drop::

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

pink_polkadots said:

*snipped*

Because... BOOM... science. ::mic drop::

Image: https://i.giphy.com/media/2dQ3FMaMFccpi/giphy.webp

Ugh... she definitely sounds like a peach. Good luck! If she decides to "mmmkay" it, hand her a mask and antimicrobial hand sanitizer when she comes visiting or better yet, a hazmat suit, if you have one available.

firsttimespartanmom · May 2018

@pink_polkadots @MouseMama817 sounds like we all have a super similar family member! I have one who has three kids who aren’t vaccinated and I am super hesitant to let them come around our little one but also don’t want to cause unnecessary drama.

But essential oils fix everything. Eye roll.

MouseMama817 · May 2018

@firsttimespartanmom Young Living cured the polio epidemic, didn’t you know that?

highsteaks · May 2018

@pink_polkadots this is such a non-issue for me. my baby, my choice. no one is coming near my kids before one or the other is vaccinated. it’s a blanket rule, targeting nobody in particular. if she chooses to forgo vaccinating, she chooses to wait to see the kid. no exceptions. if she wants to be uncivil, well, this is one of the consequences of that decision. deal with it.

EvilRaccoon · May 2018

(Please delete if it's inappropriate). Discussions like this always make me think about Steve Rogers:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/28/zvmlqm2egb15.gif

pink_polkadots · May 2018

@josie12367 vaccines are poison and she refused to get the tdap one today. How dare that doctor try to keep her healthy.

@MouseMama817

oh she’s a real gem. Our last big drama was my brothers and her getting into a fb arguement over circumcision. Yes, because your memes about how circumcision is the same as female sterilization on Facebook are certainly going to change someone’s mind. ::eye roll::

@EvilRaccoon Steve Rogers/Chris Evans is always welcome in any conversation I’m apart of... ::drool::

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

*glazed eyes & drooling* @EvilRaccoon we definitely need more Steve Rogers/Chris Evans!!!

highsteaks · May 2018

MouseMama817 · May 2018

@pink_polkadots Whyyyyy on FB? I can’t stand it.

pink_polkadots · May 2018

wait.... what are we talking about.... ::trying to pick jaw up off the floor::

Its not morning but who cares

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

Me IRL while looking at these pics/gifs of Chris Evans

pink_polkadots · May 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts I just busted out laughing at that and my husband looks over and asks what’s so funny... “Ooh nothing honey! Nothing at all!”

lurvleybunchococonuts · May 2018

Also...

pink_polkadots · May 2018

I feel like this thread is getting hijacked but in the best way.....

highsteaks · May 2018

if someone has a sex dream about chris evans tonight, they have to admit it tomorrow during the friday flame free confessions thread tomorrow!

MouseMama817 · May 2018

Lord almighty I wish I could gif!!!

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