UO Thursday! 5/24

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

Let's hear those wrong opinions ladies.

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/yQBX6KcKgxTkk/giphy.gif

AliKay20 · May 2018

I really DGAF if moms choose to breastfeed their kids until they’re five bc I have zero interest in putting my two cents on when they should stop giving their own milk to their own kids.

(I stopped at 7 months w DD and don’t have any time period I’m giving myself for this baby).

saltedcaramel518 · May 2018

I’ve been to several baby showers for second or third babies, and it doesn’t bother me one bit.

Assuming the mom-to-be isn’t throwing herself a shower, I don’t think it’s selfish or gift-grabby to have a shower/sprinkle for subsequent children.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

I wouldn't do it that long because by 18 months with DD I was over it but really it's only pervs that sexualize it and since I can't think of anything less sexy that BFing I don't care.

DS only lasted 10 months because I dried up. I was a little sad about that one.

AliKay20 · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee same here! I went away for work and couldn’t even pump a drop. Had supply issues from the beginning (idk if her being in the NICU had anything to do w it) but I told myself I did the best I could and accepted that 7 months is where it ends.

pttomato · May 2018

I am one of those extended breastfeeders. I’m still nursing my 21 month old.

I find I care less about what other people do since having DD. Idk if that’s just because she frequently makes me question myself as a mother and I’ve done lots of things differently than I thought I would. Unless I’m struggling with something and someone who never had a hard time with that tries to give advice. Gee I never thought of trying that super obvious solution among the many, many things I tried.

bdream0916 · May 2018

I think that children need discipline and structure. I'm not going to be a parent that just let's my kid do whatever so I don't "damage their psyche". No is a natural part of life. Things like talking back, begging or refusing to do what I ask won't be tolerated. DH and I are both pretty oldschool when it comes to raising kids.

ouiser_boudreaux · May 2018

I tend to be intense about car seat safety and safe sleep for babies. I don’t do any crib bumpers, blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, etc even though they are gorgeous.

catlady2015 · May 2018

@bdream0916 - YES! Kids need to know they have limits and they also need to know they can do their best at something and still not be the best at that thing, and that's OK too.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

I think FTMs (no offense) should be more low profile about how they plan to raise their kids. So often I see new parents say "I'll only..." or "I'll never..."
Cool down there people because you actually have no idea what you'll do in any given situation. So much depends on the moment and the person (because they are people) you are raising. My children have very different personalities. They both require different subtle forms of parenting. And on top of this, as they grow the style my change. As they come into their own they may need different things from you and you have to adapt.

You shouldn't say "well I'm going to do this because..." I promise it doesn't work like that and if you believe it you are naive. I don't say this to call you ignorant or dismiss your desired parenting style. I say this because you will be thrown for a massive loop if you aren't willing to adapt to the person you bring into this world and their needs as an individual human being with their own wants, desires, personalities, and perceptions.

pttomato · May 2018

And just because something works for your kid doesn’t mean I’m “doing it wrong” because it didn’t work for mine.

eleven_ · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee 100% Yes!!!

It is so easy to say you will be a certain kind of parent, but it really is so much harder than one can comprehend. I don't think any parent plans to give in to their child. They wear you down and sometimes it's just so tiring that you will do anything for 2 seconds of peace.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

I legit said I would never co-sleep. Yeah I co-slept with both of my kids. Nursing was easier that way. Getting any kind of sleep was actually attainable because I didn't have to stumble half asleep to another room to feed my hungry baby. The RnP in my room was a lifesaver because my kid was easily accesible but I can't say they always went back in there when I was done feeding them. Sometimes they fell asleep on the boob and I was asleep as well.

pttomato · May 2018

I also don’t understand why people act like if I do something now, I will always do it. Like if I picked up my newborn whenever she cried people would say “are you going to pick up your toddler when ever they cry because they didn’t get what they wanted?” No, newborns and toddlers aren’t the same...? My parenting changes as my kid changes.

bdream0916 · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee Well, I'm a full time nanny to three children so I do have some semblance of an idea.

eleven_ · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee Me too. I couldn't understand how people would co-sleep knowing the potential danger. I changed my tune though after going days without sleep.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

bdream0916 said:

@sparkymcgeee Well, I'm a full time nanny to three children so I do have some semblance of an idea.

Did you even read my whole post?

bdream0916 · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee Yes, I did indeed read your entire post. Your point to ftms is that they have no idea what they are getting into. I never said that I have a formula for parenting that will work for every child. What I said is that my children will have structure. Just because one kid is OCD and one is a free spirit does not mean that I will change the household rules. I don't care what their personality is, there will be rules. Yes, they will need to be disciplined in different ways. But please do not assume that just because I have not taken care of my own kid means I have no knowledge whatsoever. I make my living taking care of another woman's children. I feed them, discipline them, comfort them and put them to bed. No one is an expert is childcare, not even a mother of 10 kids.

AliKay20 · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee I had zero idea on the fact that breastfeeding would be so complex. Just thought, “yeah okay I’ll breastfeed until baby’s at least one.”

UHHHH I changed that tune REALLY fast when I had problems w baby latching on and whatever else breastfeeding journey throws at you. It was nothing like I had ever imagined pre-mom self.

Now when I hear non-moms ask or give their two cents on why breast is best, I just cringe on the inside. “Well, I am going to breastfeed my baby and not give formula!” Uhhhh you do that...set your goals now, sure.

eleven_ · May 2018

@bdream0916 I think the majority of parents plan to raise their children with rules and structure. Your opinion is not unpopular.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

bdream0916 said:

@sparkymcgeee Yes, I did indeed read your entire post. Your point to ftms is that they have no idea what they are getting into. I never said that I have a formula for parenting that will work for every child. What I said is that my children will have structure. Just because one kid is OCD and one is a free spirit does not mean that I will change the household rules. I don't care what their personality is, there will be rules. Yes, they will need to be disciplined in different ways. But please do not assume that just because I have not taken care of my own kid means I have no knowledge whatsoever. I make my living taking care of another woman's children. I feed them, discipline them, comfort them and put them to bed. No one is an expert is childcare, not even a mother of 10 kids.

To the bolded - I actually never said that.

I also made it a specific point in saying that I WASN'T calling anyone ignorant or trying to dismiss a desired parenting style.

Furthermore, I said NOTHING about household rules and how you should or should not enforce them.

Andplusalso, I said NOTHING about you personally so I don't know why you are feeling so defensive right now. Maybe you should rethink it if it's getting you this upset.

bdream0916 · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee Haha. Or I could just stick to my plan.

emmaaa · May 2018

Sorry but being a nanny or a care provider to someone else's children in no way makes you similar to a parent. You know what? You get to give those kids back at the end of the day. You also get paid to put up with their shit. When it's your own, it's different.

There's nothing wrong with *hoping* to be able to parent a certain way, all everyone was saying was that you may end up eating your words two years from now and realize it doesn't work for you.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

**Removed for TOU violation**

kns1988 · May 2018

Co-sleeping is super dangerous, and I am unapologetically completely opposed to it. If that gets me flamed, so be it. By co-sleeping, I mean in the same bed with you.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

kns1988 said:

Co-sleeping is super dangerous, and I am unapologetically completely opposed to it. If that gets me flamed, so be it. By co-sleeping, I mean in the same bed with you.

Yep it can be dangerous.

bdream0916 · May 2018

**Removed for TOU violation**

@sparkymcgeee I'm showing my crazy? That's very hurtful and unnecessary. I have the right to back up my UO, just as you do. But do not personally demean me. There is a difference between disagreeing with each other's opinion and making a comment about someone's character.

emmaaa · May 2018

bdream0916 said:

sparkymcgeee said:

emmaaa said:

There's nothing wrong with *hoping* to be able to parent a certain way, all everyone was saying was that you may end up eating your words two years from now and realize it doesn't work for you.

This. You're showing your crazy a little bit bdream. You're also 21 right? I think you mentioned it yesterday. Maybe you aren't as mature as you thought you were.

@sparkymcgeee I'm showing my crazy? That's very hurtful and unnecessary. I have the right to back up my UO, just as you do. But do not personally demean me. There is a difference between disagreeing with each other's opinion and making a comment about someone's character.

kns1988 · May 2018

More lighthearted UO: hot dogs are ok during pregnancy. Maybe that's more a FFFC, but I always crave them when I'm pregnant, and I will definitely be eating them.

galactickates · May 2018

You guys I'm a FTM and my kid will play quietly, never throw a tantrum, won't be picky and will sleep through the night. Because I said so.

justaplainbagel · May 2018

Just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that you all are all beautiful and let's all try to get along.

emmaaa · May 2018

MY UO: I don't think we all need to get along all the time and lift each other up simply because we are women. I hate when someone disagrees with someone else or calls them out and another person comes in all "Y'all we are all women and we should be supporting each other and how dare you not." I mean, don't go around purposely putting someone down simply because they are a woman but why should we have to lift each other up and be nice all the time? We are humans and humans will disagree.

eleven_ · May 2018

@emmaaa Agreed. This would get suuuper boring if we all agreed 100% of the time.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/3oEhmOrvNsBRqe3uGk/giphy.gif

galactickates · May 2018

The "lets all agree all the time" does nothing to help each other. That's participation trophy thinking.

What IS helpful is getting another perspective on things you are saying.

ladystout08 · May 2018

@kns1988, DS asked my husband and I were hot dogs come from yesterday and I giggled a little bit.

skilouise · May 2018

emmaaa said:

MY UO: I don't think we all need to get along all the time and lift each other up simply because we are women. I hate when someone disagrees with someone else or calls them out and another person comes in all "Y'all we are all women and we should be supporting each other and how dare you not." I mean, don't go around purposely putting someone down simply because they are a woman but why should we have to lift each other up and be nice all the time? We are humans and humans will disagree.

emmaaa · May 2018

kns1988 said:

More lighthearted UO: hot dogs are ok during pregnancy. Maybe that's more a FFFC, but I always crave them when I'm pregnant, and I will definitely be eating them.

I could eat hotdogs everyday and never get tired of them. I definitely still ate them while pregnent

eleven_ · May 2018

All this talk about hotdogs.

kns1988 · May 2018

ladystout08 said:

@kns1988, DS asked my husband and I were hot dogs come from yesterday and I giggled a little bit.

Heaven. They come from heaven.

ouiser_boudreaux · May 2018

I think people are confused. Rainbow land is over at BC.

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