We are hopefully stuck with each other for a long time. I am not going to just agree politely with everyone. I will call people out on their BS and stand up for myself with no effs given. I won't be a total b**ch about it but I won't go quietly into the night. I will be nice to a point. Just because I call you out doesn't mean I hate you or wish ill upon you. It just means that I think you're wrong and here's why. And I don't expect anyone to simply kowtow to me either. Explain your position without getting crazy and we'll get along just fine. Show your crazy and I'll mention that.
I started taking care of kids (babies and up) probably at way too young of an age but basically did it all through my teens and early 20s as a side gig until I graduated from college. I would say I was fairly experienced. Yet at 29 did I have any clue what I was really getting myself into with my firstborn?? Hells no! Until you are responsible for that little life 24/7 it’s just impossible to really get it.
My OP to contradict one from earlier is I do think there is a time when it becomes a little weird to keep bfing your kid. Don’t get me wrong, I bf both of my babes until both were walking and even talking a little - I definitely support it! But you eventually have to draw a line - I can’t imagine popping my boob out for my 4 year old and would definitely eyeroll a mom who did. If it makes me a judgy you know what so be it!
There is a mom in my old neighborhood and her son is 3, driving his jeep around the cul de sac, and it's really bizarre knowing she is still BFeeding him.
But what's the context of BFing at that age? Is is meal replacement or is it comfort? Is it just a boost of extra nutrition (because seriously it is super beneficial) or is it a way to calm them down for the night and part of night time routine? I think context matters. Whipping out a boob every few hours when they should be getting nutrition elsewhere isn't great for their health. Are they doing it once a day or is it on demand? There are factors to consider.
I feel like the “mom who lets her kids do whatever they want” is less common than people make it seem. I’ve met lots of moms with lots of different parenting styles and I can think of maybe one who might fall into that category. Just because people don’t discipline in a specific way or have different priorities doesn’t mean that they don’t set limits and discipline their children.
In this case, I think I remember her saying it's when they go to bed (they cosleep) he just grabs at her and was tired of fighting with him.
I honestly I just don't like the whole family, and definitely her as a person. I'll find any excuse to judge her. She's level 10 BSC and an evil person - not anything to do with the BF. I guess that's my only IRL reference to it.
I ate hot dogs with macaroni and cheese the other night. My mom used to make it for us as kids and I loved all of it. (I don't know if that is a super weird combo if other people eat them together? )
@drabong88 definitely ate Mac n cheese with hot dogs. I made it for my daughter a few years ago and she didmdicsre for it. I still thought it was good. Ha ha
@galactickates There is a whole department at my work who sign their name:
Regards, Name
I cringe when I see it. Did they all one day decide that would be their thing? They are really hard to work with too so that might be why I hate it so much.
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
My UO - I hate the beach. Sand is annoying and gets EVERYWHERE, and I'm afraid of water where I can't see the bottom and know there are "things" swimming that could get me.
@bdream0916 Oh, and I'm professionally trained and have professional experience in behavior, child development, parent guidance, etc. I work with several parents on parent guidance, I correct inappropriate behavior, and understand what causes it. I thought I knew what kind of parent I would be and was solid on my parenting theories. HA! It's WAY different when it's your own child. When you've tried everything to get them to stop crying, there's no reason they're crying, you know they're tired, and there's that little voice in your head saying "she'll sleep on you if you just recline back..." Or your toddler isn't eating anything you put in front of her, and that little voice says "I know I shouldn't teach her I'll give in...but she needs to eat, and I know she'll eat another banana.."
And to everyone else... in case there is any confusion, my UO was stating that kids needs discipline and structure. I'm not sure why exactly that was turned into "my kid is going to sleep through the night and I will never have any issues".
@bdream0916 my post was relevant. It's about thinking you know what to do or plan to do, but then the baby arrives. A lot of us here have rules (or plan to, for FTM) and structure. But your also need to have an open mind with that and ability to be flexible. And have grace with yourself along your journey.
@bdream0916 And literally no one else got super defensive and claimed they “knew” because of their job. I legit referenced no one and you just assumed I was speaking to you personally and telling you that you were going to be a crappy mom which is not at all where my post ( completely unrelated to yours) was going. So yeah you kind of went nuts about this. Maybe you should reread my post in the spirit it was meant and take a step back from yourself and take the advice given from several moms that have kids.
@bdream0916 I totally get you and don’t know why everyone is jumping down your throat about this. When I was a FTM I said the same thing...basically that my baby is a part of our family, but he won’t run the family. Having an idea of my values as a parent and as a family has helped me figure out what to do when parenting is tough. It informed my decisions about sleep training, about how to do meals, and to not baby-proof everything in my house. Dangerous things are, of course, baby-proofed, but from a boundary perspective I’ve taught my 1-year-old that he’s not allowed in certain cabinets. He sometimes disobeys, but it allows opportunities for him to learn the word no, and that boundaries are a part of his life. There is NOTHING wrong with a new mom thinking through the what her overall parenting philosophies and approaches are going to be, as long as she is flexible and willing to adapt to her child. Better to have a plan that you adapt that to say you’ll figure it out as you go along, which breeds inconsistency, which makes it really hard for kids to learn. Haters gonna hate.
Of course your overall parenting philosophy informs your choices later on. But just because I don’t parent a specific way doesn’t mean I am letting my kid do whatever she wants. I will never spank my child, there are other ways to set boundaries.Even if they don’t look the same as yours doesn’t mean they are wrong.
I'm still baffled how my post saying you need to adapt and know that the ideas you have will change got twisted into never disciplining your kids and never enforcing rules. That goes back to my point that my post HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER POST. It was completely separate. If If it was going to be in response to her post I would have freaking tagged her and told her it was in direct respsonse to her. SHE assumed the post was about her. She twisted the words and said I was saying no FTMs were capable of being good moms. Which was never said. Ever. At all.
@ouiser_boudreaux bahahahaha my schedule is a bit full at the moment, but in January it'll be crazy over here so might as well add one more to train
Turns out I love the little shit so I guess I’ll keep him, lol. Seriously though my kiddo has the biggest personality but low emotional maturity. This morning we had a complete melt down because I took away his toy he threw..... Which I do every time he throws a toy. Why is this still a surprise kid?
Takeaway lesson from this weeks OP - When a STM+ is giving very general advice to FTMs a general rule may simply be just to not take it so gosh darn personally! Big girl pants ladies, big girl pants.
@olivemomma I was thinking the same thing. We've got a long way to go, and we can't just be reporting each other. That's ridiculous. That was seriously one of the tamest posts I've seen on TB.
Just to add comment on the cosleeping. I also was one of those moms who never expected to cosleep. I was very aware of the dangers involved and did not want to put my child at risk. But in all seriousness, everything became much easier when we started cosleeping. My sleep improved. DS's sleep improved. I was so in tune with my child. I would wake to the tinest hints of his "I'm getting ready to wake up, and I'm hungry" noises, and I was able to respond right away. There are precautions that have to be taken for sure. And I know cosleeping is not and won't be right for everybody. When it comes to my own parenting, though, I'll always go with my gut and what feels natural to me. And having said that, I don't expect cosleeping to be what's right with every child that I have. It may be totally different this time around. Who knows.
Also, I agree that peeing in a public pool, or really any pool, is gross. So I'm not sure that's an unpopular opinion.
I ate hot dogs with macaroni and cheese the other night. My mom used to make it for us as kids and I loved all of it. (I don't know if that is a super weird combo if other people eat them together? )
@drabong88 I ate this growing up too. I still enjoy it, just can't have it anymore... or should say, not supposed to being diabetic.
I'm still baffled how my post saying you need to adapt and know that the ideas you have will change got twisted into never disciplining your kids and never enforcing rules. That goes back to my point that my post HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER POST. It was completely separate. If If it was going to be in response to her post I would have freaking tagged her and told her it was in direct respsonse to her. SHE assumed the post was about her. She twisted the words and said I was saying no FTMs were capable of being good moms. Which was never said. Ever. At all.
Yes!! @sparkymcgeee will call you out if its about you. I went back and read your post again, and didn't find where it was directed to her at all.
Re: UO Thursday! 5/24
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
My OP to contradict one from earlier is I do think there is a time when it becomes a little weird to keep bfing your kid. Don’t get me wrong, I bf both of my babes until both were walking and even talking a little - I definitely support it! But you eventually have to draw a line - I can’t imagine popping my boob out for my 4 year old and would definitely eyeroll a mom who did. If it makes me a judgy you know what so be it!
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I honestly I just don't like the whole family, and definitely her as a person. I'll find any excuse to judge her.
She's level 10 BSC and an evil person - not anything to do with the BF. I guess that's my only IRL reference to it.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
warm regards,
Name here
I thought he was saying people weren't updating the name here because he couldn't possibly be getting that worked up over warm regards.
I was wrong.
I replied with "that's the dumbest U/O" pretty sure he has no idea what that means. Good timing though H.
Regards,
Name
I cringe when I see it. Did they all one day decide that would be their thing? They are really hard to work with too so that might be why I hate it so much.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@bdream0916 Oh, and I'm professionally trained and have professional experience in behavior, child development, parent guidance, etc. I work with several parents on parent guidance, I correct inappropriate behavior, and understand what causes it. I thought I knew what kind of parent I would be and was solid on my parenting theories. HA! It's WAY different when it's your own child. When you've tried everything to get them to stop crying, there's no reason they're crying, you know they're tired, and there's that little voice in your head saying "she'll sleep on you if you just recline back..." Or your toddler isn't eating anything you put in front of her, and that little voice says "I know I shouldn't teach her I'll give in...but she needs to eat, and I know she'll eat another banana.."
ETA: tag
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
There needs to be better eats crackers gifs
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
That goes back to my point that my post HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER POST. It was completely separate. If If it was going to be in response to her post I would have freaking tagged her and told her it was in direct respsonse to her.
SHE assumed the post was about her. She twisted the words and said I was saying no FTMs were capable of being good moms. Which was never said. Ever. At all.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Also, I agree that peeing in a public pool, or really any pool, is gross. So I'm not sure that's an unpopular opinion.
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19