@Kabazaba I’m feeling the same way. My boss knew about both pregnancies and losses last year and knows about this LO. She’s been nothing but supportive and I know it wouldn’t affect my job or the opportunities there. I’m feeling very fortunate.
@Kabazaba I am an attorney as well! luckily I work in a small firm where we are all pretty close. my boss was really understanding with my first pregnancy. we had to do IVF this time around, which he knows about, but I haven't told him the results yet. I hope everyone's employers can be understanding and if they aren't then I hope you can find a company that does support you and your family.
@Kabazaba I'm an attorney at a small-ish firm as well, and I'm grateful that my firm is very supportive of its female attorneys. I've had enough friends with horror stories to recognize that a supportive work environment unfortunately isn't as universal as it should be. Only two of our partners knew about us ttc though - one of the junior partners that is a friend, and a senior partner that is a mentor. The former knows about the pregnancy already because I just couldn't keep it to myself, and I'll probably tell my mentor around 10 weeks or so. The rest can wait until 12+ weeks.
@emmaaa Most places just don't allow pets, which makes us super sad. The kids are not having an easy time with this. Luckily, my sister just moved in to my basement and can help us with some of them (two houses, going back and forth between the two throughout the month). She will not care of our six tarantulas, which is completely understandable. Most people wouldn't. My brother is keeping them for us. He's had them before, so it's nothing new for him. They are seriously the easiest pets ever. We have three cats and an iguana that my sister will take care of for us. Again, super easy. We have three chickens that will go to my other brother. And then we have two German Shepherds. Back in November I agreed to take one that my brother had promised to take from a friends new litter. He couldn't have GS at his place then because the HOA said no GS. I was supposed to have her until he moved in April. We got her in January at 8 weeks old. April came around and my brother decided that he didn't want her anymore. My other sister is already taking my older, blind GS up to her place in the mountains to run around and be free, but she's not willing to watch to other. She's a super hyper puppy, so I understand. I don't have a single family member or friend here willing to take her. I feel bad, but I was supposed to be a foster home for her, not a permanent home. I don't know, I suppose if this other place says yes to pets, then we'll not take her to her permanent home since things are pending, and the kids really like her, but there's not much else I can do if they say no to pets.
I'm currently at work right now ( I work 12 hr nights as a nurse). I'm so tired I don't think I can make it. I just want to be tucked in my bed sleeping.
@luckymay2x I know every doctor/situation is different, but mine said that Claritin/Benadryl were fine to take. Might be worth checking with yours if you’re feeling lousy!
@SweetBriarBee For their sake, I really hope you find a place that accepts pets. When we used to rent, we didn't even consider places that wouldn't let us bring out pets. We have 5 dogs and a cat and are very attached to them though.
@luckymay2x - Claritin, Benadryl, and Zyrtec are all fine to take for allergies! It will take a couple days to really help/kick in. In the meantime, try a neti pot or a saline nose rinse to help get all the allergens out of your nose. It really seems to help!
My boss is a feminist for sure and I work at a non-profit org that deals with some mindfulness/meditation so it's definitely a supportive place to work. It could be a lot worse.
That being said, the floor that I work in that has 23 people (our org is about 85) does not have a single person with children. Our staff tends to be young but also since we are in NYC a lot of people have children much later or decide not to have children. We have a number of people in their mid or late 40's who are married and have opted not to have children on this floor. I don't look forward to being the guinea pig and trail blazer but I love my job and definitely plan to return after maternity. The main reason that may take me away eventually after children is my long commute (1 hour 15 mins). When I told my boss I was going through IVF I did bring up the no children in our building thing and she was surprised and of course hadn't noticed. She is supportive of taking sick time when you need it and flexible schedules. We shall see...
Nope and I hope to. kns1988 they have the notices on the wall that legally they have to. And they will have to. NYC is very strict. Can't wait to see how they come up with a room that is in my building for that one and not a bathroom. We have an open office plan and one conference room. Maybe the IT server large closet? LOL
Today is my 9 year wedding anniversary with DH. We are trying to decide on a place to eat dinner. I'm so indecisive because I am craving something different every 2 seconds.
These posts inspired me to re-read my company handbook and realized that my company offers a $1500 newborn bonus. Huzzah! Still no mat. leave though, lol. I'll probably tell my coworkers next week, since I'll likely have frequent RE appointments until I graduate to OB, my big bosses(at a different site) I'll tell later.
@emmaaa The problem we have is this is a small town. Population of 1,600. Our options are so limited, and as we have discovered, most people won’t rent to us. We’ve been looking for over a year. If we rent in the closest town to this, our commute will be an hour and a half, one way. We still haven’t heard back on this last house. Another person turned an application in on it and I’ll bet they get.
I saw these people at the store during lunch. They were filming themselves for like youtube or something. I do NOT want to be on their youtube channel.
Rant ahead. My mom pissed me off and lost driving privileges of my 1 year old today. She's never driven him before. I left a car seat base and said if you aren't comfortable getting it hooked in correctly, call me and I'll pick him up. She shows up with him and the seat is totally incorrect and she knew it. On top of that, my 5 year old niece's seat was in her car and was also incorrect. And she told me that my niece FELL OVER IN HER CAR SEAT and she put a freaking laundry basket next to her to keep it steady. WTAF! This is an educated teacher who apparently thinks car seats are NBD. She's not driving with him again.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@kns1988 I'd be pissed as hell What is it with the olds and not understanding the importance of car seats? They think that we are just being overprotective and it fills me with so much rage!
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@kns1988 I caught MIL driving with DD in the front seat of her car. And another time in the front of their truck - it's a quad cab so she should have been in the back. MIL does not respond well to criticism so instead of yelling at her I simply said " I prefer DD in the back" from then on it's been fine. but I told DH my suspension and he responded " she's not that dumb" umm yeah apparently she is.
My mom is so awesome. She watches DS on Tuesdays and Thursdays. DH is working late tonight and I felt awful when I got home so she stayed and gave DS a bath.
@sfgiantsgamerbabe Here's to awesome moms, right! Mine cooked chicken and dumplings for us tonight. And I was so glad to not have to cook feeling as nauseous as I do today.
I had to "lecture" my MIL about DD in the car seat. She bought her own convertible car seat before DD was born and I know she meant well but I Hate the one she got because it is hard to install. The seat itself is nice but installing it sucks and even the CPST said so when thye showed us the first time. Well MIL keeps taking it out of her car and trying to reinstall it herself and she always does it wrong and it's loose. She also showed up to my house with DD before an event without her being buckled in the the crotch strap because "her dress was too poofy" and she didn't know how to loosen it. I basically told her that if she takes the car seat out again, let us know so we can instal it for her since she can't get it tight enough. Otherwise, she is not to drive DD anywhere. I also told her if I ever see DD not buckled in again then she will not be allowed to drive her anymore. I was like, "Uhm, 1. here look, it's buckled now, and 2. if the dress was the problem then take it off. I know you'd rather do that than something bad happen." Sure, it sounds harsh but I know if something bad happened to DD while she was in the car with her MIL would go postal and be beyond upset. My child's life is more important than feelings.
@emmaaa good for you for setting this straight. I would not have tolerated this either. Idk if it’s a generation thing or what but my mom also doesn’t think it’s a big deal if DD wants her carseat belt unbuckled. I had a stern talk with her and while it made things uncomfortable at the time, I am glad we had the talk bc she has not let DD unbuckle ever since then.
@AliKay20 I feel like they think, "Oh, y'all barely rode in carseats and never buckled up and were fine!" And they think that since we didn't die then it's okay. But 1. There's nothing wrong with improving on things and being safer. 2. People drive faster and there are more cars now. 3. People drive distracted (aka texting and driving) too often. Like, it's just not worth it and after talking with her she came around. I was like listen, if you don't want the car seat in your car all the time, fine, let us know when we drop DD off and we will put it back in
Yep my dad gets frustrated every time we visit and I double check how tight the seats are and then insist the kids take their kids winter coats off before being put in their seats. I try to take a mental picture so in 20 years when my kids are doing something I find ridiculous for the safety of their kids I will keep my mouth shut!
@emmaaa, good for you for setting her straight. I've found that I've run out of f*cks to give about people's feelings now that I have a LO. I used to be such a people pleaser, and now I'm putting my family in their place all the time.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
This thread makes me so thankful to have parents who are super respectful of (most) of my wishes when it comes to LO. I am a safety freak (nothing in the bed but a sheet, binky, and a baby wearing a sleep sack kind of safety freak - but don't worry, I SWEAR I am not a judgy sanctimommy) because it helped ease some of my fears and helped with my PPA. My dad is actually more cautious than I am with DD and always asks me the right way to do things.
My in laws gave me a little bit of an issue when I told them DD WOULD NOT sleep in a 30 year old drop side crib at their house, but beyond that it's been ok.
Fight the good fight ladies! These are your babies and you have every right to make the parenting decisions!
Me: 28 DH: 26 Married: November 2015 TTC#1: January 2016 BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16 BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17 DD Born 06/23/17 TFAS: April 2018 BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
DH totally pissed me off last night. We were talking about baby furniture and he "happened" to mention his parents still had the old crib from when he and his brothers were young, and he was sure we could use it (and not buy our own crib). Now keep in mind his oldest brother (the one the crib was originally bought for) is currently 42.
I literally had to detail the changes in safety standards since 1974 and spell out that not only are WE not using that crib in our house, we are not going to let our child sleep in it at their house, either. Someone got awful quiet and dropped the subject once I was done with my rage, but the drop sides, the wider slats, the likely not standard sized mattress area, oh hell no.
DH totally pissed me off last night. We were talking about baby furniture and he "happened" to mention his parents still had the old crib from when he and his brothers were young, and he was sure we could use it (and not buy our own crib). Now keep in mind his oldest brother (the one the crib was originally bought for) is currently 42.
I literally had to detail the changes in safety standards since 1974 and spell out that not only are WE not using that crib in our house, we are not going to let our child sleep in it at their house, either. Someone got awful quiet and dropped the subject once I was done with my rage, but the drop sides, the wider slats, the likely not standard sized mattress area, oh hell no.
@catlady2015 Yea my inlaws mentioned with my 1st daughter about a crib that was my husbands when he was a baby that was in their attic. My DH is 43... I was like uhhhh it can just stay in the attic, thanks!
@texasmommie - Yes! This one's been stored in the basement and my inlaws have willingly kept it all these years in case the boys had kids. I mentioned a few years ago (the first time this came up - they were doing some cleaning in the basement) that the standards had changed and it might not be safe to use anymore.If they needed space, they would do better to dispose of it, because I wouldn't put a baby in there. Nope, it's still down there! and DH overheard that whole first convo.
Re: Weekly Randoms: 5/21
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19
My boss is a feminist for sure and I work at a non-profit org that deals with some mindfulness/meditation so it's definitely a supportive place to work. It could be a lot worse.
That being said, the floor that I work in that has 23 people (our org is about 85) does not have a single person with children. Our staff tends to be young but also since we are in NYC a lot of people have children much later or decide not to have children. We have a number of people in their mid or late 40's who are married and have opted not to have children on this floor. I don't look forward to being the guinea pig and trail blazer but I love my job and definitely plan to return after maternity. The main reason that may take me away eventually after children is my long commute (1 hour 15 mins). When I told my boss I was going through IVF I did bring up the no children in our building thing and she was surprised and of course hadn't noticed. She is supportive of taking sick time when you need it and flexible schedules. We shall see...
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
https://gardnerquadsquad.com/
Also, I can't even imagine having quads. That's horrifying to me.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
#YoutubeFamous
10dpo 24
13dpo 147
Right now I’m over the moon because this is better doubling time by far than my last few!
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
mind you, it was just tight enough to be secure yet her version of strapping her in was leaving a lot of space and making the straps loose.
no, mom, no.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
My in laws gave me a little bit of an issue when I told them DD WOULD NOT sleep in a 30 year old drop side crib at their house, but beyond that it's been ok.
Fight the good fight ladies! These are your babies and you have every right to make the parenting decisions!
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
I literally had to detail the changes in safety standards since 1974 and spell out that not only are WE not using that crib in our house, we are not going to let our child sleep in it at their house, either. Someone got awful quiet and dropped the subject once I was done with my rage, but the drop sides, the wider slats, the likely not standard sized mattress area, oh hell no.
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19