Did your significant others attend the shower also? My MIL is insisting DH be present but I honestly don't think I've ever been to one where the father of the child was present.
No. He showed up towards the end to say hi and thank everyone. And help put all the gifts in the car. I've never been to a shower, bridal or baby, where the groom or dad-to-be was there the whole time.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
Did your significant others attend the shower also? My MIL is insisting DH be present but I honestly don't think I've ever been to one where the father of the child was present.
Nope. Mine was not in attendance at all at any point. But I've been to showers that were like that, strictly ladies only, and showers that were fully co ed and showers that were pretty much ladies only with hubby showing up to load gifts. I think it's like everything else baby shower "etiquette" wise and that it just depends on what your people do and what your personal preference is.
Did your significant others attend the shower also? My MIL is insisting DH be present but I honestly don't think I've ever been to one where the father of the child was present.
My H showed up for present opening. Unless it’s a coed shower I wouldn’t expect him to be at the whole thing. My dad also came for presents too.
@smsaulino, at the ladies only showers I've seen the husband come at the end specifically if it's close to their house. It's more just like he's popping in to say hi (and help carry gifts out as everyone else mentioned). I've also been to coed showers, where the husband, along with any other male relatives/friends attend. When I've gone to showers like that they're usually less focused on the games, and it's more just like a hang out and eat type party.
We're having a big BBQ with all our friends and some family is flying in as well! So excited My hubby and I work way too much(own our own biz) so this will be a great way to see everyone, which we never get to do. I'm from Norway and the babyshower trend has been growing over the years that I've lived in the U.S. so I never really pictured myself having one. I have never actually been to one! So we're just going to have a big party and skip all the games and such.
Well, apparently I am getting a sprinkle since one of my moms friends would like to do so. I haven't spent a ton of time working on a registry and I don't really plan on adding a whole bunch of other lower cost items just for nonsense stuff. So I'm thinking I'll just be getting a bunch of clothes which I'm pretty good with. Even if I get a couple of items off my registry I'll be happy.
It has been decided my mom and SIL will throw my shower at my house (they live far away) and one of my good friends will be helping. **TW My friend was going to do it all but was recently diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and is having pretty strong treatments. End TW** I’m thnakful my mom is helping, but worry with them being so far away the ball will get dropped on some things.
Also, apparently there are all these other people who want to come to my shower that I never considered inviting. The whole shower idea is hard for me because the idea is for people to bring you a present and I don’t want anyone to feel they don’t know me well enough to be invited to my shower. I had a very short list, and now it’s getting longer. I know those people have told my mom or friend they want to come, but that is a lot of attention on me I’m not sure I want. Was looking forward to celebrating with my very closest friends and family.
@nlc8424 I’m going to a friend’s sprinkle this weekend. She registered for some clothes but also replacement nipples for the bottles, a bigger diaper bag, replacement playyard sheets, etc. All the items made a lot of sense for a second baby and didn’t seem gift grabby at all.
@klj0228 If you don’t want them there, you don’t need to invite them. It was honestly a little rude for them to basically invite themselves.
@SkilledSailor my list is pretty minimal and does have replacement nipples and bigger diaper bag haha. I'm not an over the top kind of person anyway so this is not a major issue to come off as gift grabby, but I have a new pumping bag on my list this time since I skimped the last (and it was UGLY), a new pack n play since we gave my parents ours when my mom was watching DS full time (and keep it there for when he visits and takes a nap or is overnight), new mattress and sheets, etc. So nothing really crazy, the "basics" for a second baby, I just don't expect anyone to buy us a crib or some of the higher price point stuff. Like I said, I'd be totally grateful for any/all stuff I get!
@klj0228 I had this issue too for my shower. I think there were like 50+ people invited and I did not care for all of the attention. I think I spoke up a little here and there saying it wouldn't be necessary, but ultimately didn't win. Just deep breathes before and after and be as cordial as you can during the shower is my advice.
@klj0228 I agree with @skilledsailor This should be a great experience for you, and if you are more comfortable celebrating with just close family and friends, that's what you should do. Maybe your mom and friends can let those other people know that it is a small, intimate get together, but if they would like to send a card or gift they can.
We had 5 showers for my dd...was totally over the top and I literally was so uncomfortable for several reasons: 1. It was hot as hell....they were all in August and Sept (i was due sept 30) 2. People were invited that I literally had never met and I just felt terrible about them bringing presents 3. I hate being center of attention. So....fast forward almost 8 years....and now we are having a boy. So, yes I did agree to ONE shower. I laid down the law and have 2 of my closest friends working with the 2 grandmoms to have 1 shower with a minimal guest list of ONLY close friends/relatives. We are having the shower at my house and making it inot a co ed bbq of sorts. The men are doing a daddy diaper theme and the women are doing the usual cutesy baby stuff. We are having the shower fairly early in the game....end of June. I don't want to be miserable this time around and because I don't expect a ton of gifts....this will give us plenty of time to get everything else together before baby arrives.
My BFF who was struggling with IF but is now pregnant has offered to throw me a shower. I'm so excited! It will be small and intimate and baby friendly. Adventure themed like the nursery and possibly going to the pool after.
Questions for those who have thrown showers before. I'm also throwing my BFFs in mid-October. I have hired a calligrapher already who will address and mail out the invites for me since they need to go out the same week as my due date and I'd hate for that to slip through the cracks. My question is, any tips on things I can do in advance to make it easier on me with a newborn? I'm considering hiring a local cookie company for desserts, and maybe platters from Costco for food?
I'm likely having several showers. We're having family and friends over for a laid back co-ed backyard party, DH's work has already offered to throw us one, I know my work will throw me one, and some other other work friends want to take me out for lunch and were asking about throwing me a shower. Since we're likely one and done, I don't mind at all. I'm super appreciative.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
@Redpuma119@SkilledSailor I think I’ll end up somewhere between putting my foot down completely and allowing absolutely any and everyone to come. I am so appreciative that people want to celebrate our baby and I am trying to look at it that way. This is about the baby, but I am also not going to let myself be overwhelmed with people.
@SkilledSailor I know you are grateful for your friend throwing you a shower, especially since you were pretty sure you weren’t going to have one. My friend who is helping with my shower is getting a bunch of the food from Publix. Some of their locations even have a party planner of sorts to help plan food at no -additional cost to you.
@starla I’m going to try to look at it all more like you. We will likely be one and done too and should be appreciative of all the kindness.
Since we are having our baby celebration bbq so early in the game (it is on June 10th!) I am rushing to get things planned. I have friends who are "hosting" it from our house (since they are out of towners) but I basically have to have everything lined up (because they are out of towners...). We would have waited until later in the summer, but with H being so busy with projects and some of his friends coming into town that particular week to surprise him, it just worked out. He will have just finished the installation on a huge project and it will be a great time to celebrate and unwind with friends and family. I didn't think H would want to have any games going on, but he asked if we could do some sort of baby game. Any ideas that are co-ed friendly?
@klj0228 Oh good to know about Publix! We're actually getting one close to us this summer.
@samd6 I went to a co-ed shower a couple of weeks ago where guests were given a sheet of questions and circled which parent they thought did that thing. Example: "_______ loved going swimming when s/he was little but only if they were naked". It was funny because the host had clearly gotten the fun facts from the grandparents, because our friends had no idea who had done what on some of those.
@SkilledSailor I would make a detailed to do list all you don't forget about anything. Include lists of things for that day so you make sure you have everything
@samd6 I recently threw my friend a coed, game intensive shower. There were two teams and 1-3 people from each team played each game, maybe you can adapt one of these. This is what we played - assemble a board puzzle blindfolded - balance a bin of bottle parts and baby stuff on that cute grass drying rack - assemble all the different bottles - have someone direct blindfolded teammates to pick up baby toys - toss a pacifier to a partner to catch in their mouth - shoot PPTPs off a table with a water gun - match up baby socks as fast as you can - unfold a stroller, strap in a stuffed toy, run down to your partner so they can run back and fold the stroller
Other games that go over really well that are way more chill are... The price is right Baby trivia Shower gift bingo
@EErin86 I love those game ideas! I don’t think I am throwing any showers for a long time but I am going to suggest those to my mom (who actually throws quite a few showers).
@samd6 my shower wasn’t co-ed, but for one of the games my mom asked each me and DH separately a bunch of baby related questions and then went over all the questions at the shower. Questions were things like How many diapers a day does a newborn use? And What do you think the scariest part of parenting is? The guests had to guess each of our answers. Every one was very amused by some of our answers.
@samd6 mine is pretty early, too... The day before yours, June 9th. I'll be a day shy of turning 28 weeks. Most of DH's family is flying in and that day was most convenient for them. Also, heat index in Houston will be hitting lower triple digits this week and is only expected to get worse and most of his family has never been to a place so hot.
So now I'm having two showers and a dinner thing with friends/co-workers (I don't know what to call that but they wanted to do something small and get me gifts). My husband's aunt who we made the godmother is throwing one because my mil didn't invite her and about 7 others from my husband's family. Then my mil is throwing one. They will both be out of state (we live in PA) & my husband's family all lives in Staten Island. They are a week apart and my husband will be at both of those because of being out of state. My family isn't doing anything for us so I am kind of glad his family is making a big deal.
My husbands aunt who we made Godmother also already bought us our daughters crib and my MIL has plans to buy our bassinet as well as a mini crib for their house. She also has bought clothes and a bunch of little things. It's her 1st grandchild and the girl she always wanted sooo..
I just had a surprise baby shower! I had no idea it was going to happen! I was in my hometown having a girls weekend with my best friends and visiting my family. On Sunday, we all went out to my friend’s family farm in the country and our families joined us. All of this was very normal, except my Grandma showed up. That was a little weird, but I figured she just wanted to see me more. Then my other friend’s grandma (not the family with the farm) also showed up. Again, odd. My friends kept disappearing, but since my family was there, I was distracted and not really paying attention. When it was time for dinner, we all went through the farm house and out to the yard on the other side. When I walked out the door, the whole front yard was decorated and all the cars had blue balloons and “it’s a boy” decorations draped around them! There were presents and a cake! It was all so sweet!!! When you live across the country from your family and your best friends all live in different places, you don’t expect something like this. Even though we were all in Cincinnati for a girls weekend, I was still totally blown away!
LA friends are throwing us another co-ed shower in Los Angeles in August. I’m looking forward to that, but was a little sad that my Mom and Grandma and best friends wouldn’t be there. Now, I’m so happy! I get to/got to celebrate with both groups!
@SkilledSailor Plan out everything now/soon and see what can be done ahead of time. The main things are food, decorations, activities/games (optional). Anything you can buy or prepare in advance, do it. Figure out how/where you're going to set things up as far as food and seating, place for presents, etc. I don't know about you, but I get overwhelmed super easily when I'm running on too little sleep, and not knowing how things will be with your LO, I know I'd need to prepare and plan as much as possible. But then I'd probably procrastinate like terrible and still get overwhelmed and probably cry the day of the shower - don't be me!
I like lists, and there's a site/app called Trello that I used for my friend's shower recently - you can make a "board" with separate lists all on the same page, and you can add pictures, links, recipes, whatever. I really like using it for planning stuff like this. Pinterest works, too.
I'd have it all catered/buy all the food prepared if the costs work for you. Costco food + good dessert sounds like a good plan. We've also done brunch showers with muffins and pastries and yogurt with granola, maybe one hot dish, like an egg casserole-y thing that can be prepped ahead of time and just cooked that morning. Recruit someone else to help with setup and maybe cleanup.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
I just have to share because it’s so awesome - H & I have best friends who are married (they were our individual best friends prior to getting married) ANYWAY they planned this elaborate surprise to come visit, which is why the shower was planned so early. They showed up last night and it was honestly a better reaction than we could have ever expected! H was SO SURPRISED and couldn’t stop yelling and laughing. If nobody else shows up for the shower it will be worth it to have gotten to surprise him that way. Even better, they are staying for a week ❤️
Re: The Baby Shower Thread!
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
I think it's like everything else baby shower "etiquette" wise and that it just depends on what your people do and what your personal preference is.
Also, apparently there are all these other people who want to come to my shower that I never considered inviting. The whole shower idea is hard for me because the idea is for people to bring you a present and I don’t want anyone to feel they don’t know me well enough to be invited to my shower. I had a very short list, and now it’s getting longer. I know those people have told my mom or friend they want to come, but that is a lot of attention on me I’m not sure I want. Was looking forward to celebrating with my very closest friends and family.
@klj0228 If you don’t want them there, you don’t need to invite them. It was honestly a little rude for them to basically invite themselves.
@klj0228 I had this issue too for my shower. I think there were like 50+ people invited and I did not care for all of the attention. I think I spoke up a little here and there saying it wouldn't be necessary, but ultimately didn't win. Just deep breathes before and after and be as cordial as you can during the shower is my advice.
Questions for those who have thrown showers before. I'm also throwing my BFFs in mid-October. I have hired a calligrapher already who will address and mail out the invites for me since they need to go out the same week as my due date and I'd hate for that to slip through the cracks. My question is, any tips on things I can do in advance to make it easier on me with a newborn? I'm considering hiring a local cookie company for desserts, and maybe platters from Costco for food?
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
@SkilledSailor I know you are grateful for your friend throwing you a shower, especially since you were pretty sure you weren’t going to have one. My friend who is helping with my shower is getting a bunch of the food from Publix. Some of their locations even have a party planner of sorts to help plan food at no -additional cost to you.
@starla I’m going to try to look at it all more like you. We will likely be one and done too and should be appreciative of all the kindness.
@samd6 I went to a co-ed shower a couple of weeks ago where guests were given a sheet of questions and circled which parent they thought did that thing. Example: "_______ loved going swimming when s/he was little but only if they were naked". It was funny because the host had clearly gotten the fun facts from the grandparents, because our friends had no idea who had done what on some of those.
@samd6 I recently threw my friend a coed, game intensive shower. There were two teams and 1-3 people from each team played each game, maybe you can adapt one of these. This is what we played
- assemble a board puzzle blindfolded
- balance a bin of bottle parts and baby stuff on that cute grass drying rack
- assemble all the different bottles
- have someone direct blindfolded teammates to pick up baby toys
- toss a pacifier to a partner to catch in their mouth
- shoot PPTPs off a table with a water gun
- match up baby socks as fast as you can
- unfold a stroller, strap in a stuffed toy, run down to your partner so they can run back and fold the stroller
Other games that go over really well that are way more chill are...
The price is right
Baby trivia
Shower gift bingo
So many cute ideas!
My family isn't doing anything for us so I am kind of glad his family is making a big deal.
My husbands aunt who we made Godmother also already bought us our daughters crib and my MIL has plans to buy our bassinet as well as a mini crib for their house. She also has bought clothes and a bunch of little things. It's her 1st grandchild and the girl she always wanted sooo..
LA friends are throwing us another co-ed shower in Los Angeles in August. I’m looking forward to that, but was a little sad that my Mom and Grandma and best friends wouldn’t be there. Now, I’m so happy! I get to/got to celebrate with both groups!
I like lists, and there's a site/app called Trello that I used for my friend's shower recently - you can make a "board" with separate lists all on the same page, and you can add pictures, links, recipes, whatever. I really like using it for planning stuff like this. Pinterest works, too.
I'd have it all catered/buy all the food prepared if the costs work for you. Costco food + good dessert sounds like a good plan. We've also done brunch showers with muffins and pastries and yogurt with granola, maybe one hot dish, like an egg casserole-y thing that can be prepped ahead of time and just cooked that morning. Recruit someone else to help with setup and maybe cleanup.
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20