Baby items for grandparents?

bundleofjoy4iluvu · April 2018

This will be my 3rd child. My mom got rid off all of the baby stuff (I thought I was done). She informed me, I will need to provide bedding and high chair for her house when I visit. Apparently, it is common thing now in NC. I think it is crazy she is asking me to do that. Anyone heard of this?

BrittanyCupcakes · April 2018

Does she expect you to buy those things to leave at her house so she has them when you visit, or is she asking you to bring them along when you visit because she won't have them anymore?

cjx95 · April 2018

I think it depends.. if you plan on having your child there frequently for her to watch them then yes you should provide that stuff. But if your visiting occasionally you can bring that stuff from home and take it back when you leave.
If for some reason you get extras from friends with hand me down stuff or what not then you be all set to leave stuff there but I don't think it should be fully expected of you to get a bunch of extra stuff for your mom's house

spartan4life · April 2018

I agree with @mamabearcj that if you plan to have baby there often then I would purchase things for her and leave them there, but if it’s only when you’re visiting I would bring them each time. My mom lives in Florida (we’re in MI) so I will just bring what we need when we visit. However, MIL lives about 20 minutes away and will likely be watching baby so I will have some things at their house. My good friend is giving us her pack and play and a few other things so I will most likely leave those at my IL’s house and register for new stuff for us since we will be using it daily.

bundleofjoy4iluvu · April 2018

I don't plan on visiting often they live 7 hours away. Pack & play and high chair that attaches to a chair are on my registry. I will bring both when I visit. I feel my mom made that comment just to push my buttons and stress me out.

krzyriver · April 2018

She wants you to purchase separate ones to keep there? Will the baby be there often? Or is she talking about the occasional visit where these things could easily be dropped off? I guess I need more info to answer the question....

Lisa3379 · April 2018

I have a high chair and pack and play at my parents’ house, but we are over there at least once a week. You should do what makes sense to you based on how often you’d be there (so yeah, what everyone else said).

knottieamusements · April 2018

My parents are about 6hrs away. I normally drive rather than fly, so I am just planning to take what I need with me when I go. If Mom decides she wants more, then she can get it on her own. (I don’t mean to sound rude saying that, instead, what I am saying is that I can bring whatever we need, so if my Mom disagrees about what we need for a visit, she should get those things.)

I might feel differently if I wasn’t able to take what I need with me (as in, I was flying). But even then, I’d probably google “travel tips with infants” or something similar before buying a bunch of stuff that will only get used for a couple of weeks total.

cjx95 · April 2018

bundleofjoy3iluvu said:

I don't plan on visiting often they live 7 hours away. Pack & play and high chair that attaches to a chair are on my registry. I will bring both when I visit. I feel my mom made that comment just to push my buttons and stress me out.

Well I'm sorry she's stressing you out! Try not to let her get to you, if she's serious about having her own stuff then she can buy it herself

tinattt23 · April 2018

Same thought process as @knottieamusements. As long as you're willing to lug whatever you need back and forth, then you don't need to buy anything extra. If she just wants to have her own stuff, then she can buy it. If you want her to have her own stuff so that you don't have to lug stuff around, then I could see buying duplicates to keep there.

sammierose464 · April 2018

And I think she needs to be realistic about what will actually be needed. Does baby really need a high chair for the handful of times you will be there while kiddo is in need of one?

I agree that you should bring what you think you'll need when you visit.

Laumb11 · April 2018

Hmm... yea she can buy it herself if she wants it there all the time. Def not something to stress over. If you only visit every once in a while just bring it with you. I always found it easier just to keep a pack and play at my moms since we always fly and I dont want to lug it back and forth.

missmaehurt · April 2018

Sounds like she’s just trying to be annoying since you won’t be visiting all the time. My parents watched DD when I went back to work for 3 months and they bought everything they needed for their house. I told them that we would, but they insisted.

princessandthegator · April 2018

missmaehurt said:

Sounds like she’s just trying to be annoying since you won’t be visiting all the time. My parents watched DD when I went back to work for 3 months and they bought everything they needed for their house. I told them that we would, but they insisted.

This. My parents and MIL are each 15 minutes away and are with DD often, we offered to give them stuff but they either had items gifted to them by friends who were also grandparents or they bought things themselves second hand.

DunkinDecaf · April 2018

bundleofjoy3iluvu said:

I don't plan on visiting often they live 7 hours away. Pack & play and high chair that attaches to a chair are on my registry. I will bring both when I visit. I feel my mom made that comment just to push my buttons and stress me out.

In some circumstances I think buying kids stuff for a grandparent is reasonable, but for your situation I’d say nope. Honestly, if it were me and I knew she’d said it just to push my buttons I probably have replied with something petty AF like “why? You live 7 hours away. It’s not like we’re going to visit very often.”

acciocoffee · April 2018

I think if she wants to have them there, she can buy them. For DD we actually would leave a small booster seat in our car so we always had it. The grandparents all eventually bought their own stuff though. I think if she is that far away I would just bring the stuff with you when you visit. If you decide that you do want to leave stuff there then I would just find garage sales to buy stuff at.

purplegoldfish2 · April 2018

I’d ignore the comment from her. If she wants to buy that stuff, then that’s her decision. You won’t be there enough to justify buying it all. If you drive, you can bring it with you and if you fly you can either rent one, or if you have friends there, ask if anybody has one you can borrow. I see questions like that all the time on Facebook - friends are flying into town and need pack n plays and car seats and all kinds of stuff. The people posting are usually looking to their local friends for stuff for out of town friends to borrow & they usually get everything they’re looking for.

You really only need a safe place for baby to sleep. MH and I have gone plenty of places without high chairs with our twins and we each hold one on our lap while eating. Diaper changes can be done pretty much anywhere flat.

krgriffin26 · April 2018

I would not buy those separate and special just for her if she is 7 hours away. Just assure her that when you visit, you will bring what the baby needs and the needs will change as it grows.

tropical1982 · April 2018

I'll be buying tons of duplicates for my mom's house because the baby will be there DAILY. Otherwise, I'd just bring my own.

You already get the feeling she did it to push your buttons...you've got a baby to grow, just let it roll of and continue without that added worry.

mommy2ane · April 2018

My parents bought things to keep at their house so that they could keep the kids overnight and they got car seats, which has been so helpful. But my parents also live about 25 minutes away and see the kids often. My in laws only got a pnp and a high chair. We
don't see them as often (they live in Texas right now but come to see us whenever possible), so when just move the car seats when they’re here. I wouldn’t buy anything for either set of parents unless they’re my sitter.

lest12 · April 2018

I do not think it is necessary for you to buy things to have at her house.

I would think you would bring with you what you needed when you went to visit.

tinattt23 · April 2018

My mom is 10 minutes away, in laws less than a mile. My mom is a shopper so she bought tons of stuff. Honestly, majority of it (like swing and jumper) got used a few times. It’s not like anyone ever actually put him down as a baby. Someone always wanted to hold him. Only useful thing she has is the high chair. In laws bought nothing. We were brining our highchair back a forth until a friend gave them an old one. We also bring duplicate toys over to grandparents. That’s plenty.

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