My FFFC, I've heard so much about hemorrhoids during this pregnancy and while I still don't understand wtf they are it freaks me out so I keep checking by butt in the mirror to make sure everything looks ok.
@runsomewhere you’ll know if you got one lol i didn’t get then while pregnant but had a random last year i think from just too much sitting and my diet.
I cant stop think about cake since my third tri gif lol I’m also starting to get lazy at work with only 10 wks left (and counting) but i have so much to do!! But again I’ve been looking up blackout curtains for the past hour.
Along the lines of music...I still sometimes listen to Chris Brown songs when he comes on the radio or a playlist or something. I liked the "Look at me now" song he did with Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne and while I know I should not listen to him because he beat the shit out of Rhianna I can't help it sometimes.
@runsomewhere you're fffc has me giggling and picturing a scene from orange is the new black...not about hemorrhoids, though. It was where a group of ladies didn't know they had a pee hole and a vagina hole (technical terms are not my friend today). So they took turns using a compact mirror in a bathroom stall to check for that pee hole. (Insert laughing with tears emoji here)
I learned while at my colonoscopy last year that once you get hemorrhoids, they never go away. They sit idle until you piss them off again. So, I have hemorrhoids and haven't pissed them off until 2 days ago...it has been a painful 2 days of pooping and farting.
FFFC: I'm supposed to work o/t and have a lot to do today, however I've already checked out mentally. My pregnant brain cannot handle this much work. I want sleep. Also, I had a McDonalds mcdouble cheeseburger, fries go-gurt, and dr. Pepperfor lunch. My blood sugar is on the high side...idgaf it was worth it!!!
+1 @runsomewhere my ex had them really bad and I never had the courage to go near that...we had to go to the ER once...I felt so bad tbh the poor guy was in so much pain and embarrassed so he ignored it for days I'm still cringing about it. I'm terrified of getting them.
Along the same lines - poop related - I'm really proud of myself when I have a healthy bowel movement, it's like clapping hands when a toddler poops in the potty!
@kissableviv I totally feel the same way about a good BM! Lol.
All the hemorrhoid talk reminds me too of a show my H and I were watching called Embarrassing bodies. There were lots of butt grapes on there. They show them to you and some of them were pretty gnarley. Eek. I’m not brave enough to check my rear end with a mirror (at this point).
Confession: I was supposed to do a lot of things today but I have been so tired so I mostly vegged. Feeling guilty about it.
I had anal fissures after pushing my son out. I don’t know if it’s the same pain is hemorrhoids, but it was honestly the worst pain of my life trying to pass a bowel movement with that.
My confession is pregnancy rage. It’s hit me hard this week. My son is in a cranky whiny tantrum phase, life is stressful, I’m exhausted, my husbands been pissing me off. I got home from work today and my husband and son were just getting home too (my son was at my moms and my husband picked him up on the way home). My son was in a horrible mood and clearly was over hungry, and immediately started crying when we got inside. I then realized he was peeing all over himself and me....I guess my mom neglected to change his diaper which seems to hAppen a lot with her. So I’m absolutely covered in pee, holding a screaming toddler, and trying to get his clothes off and diaper changes but he won’t let me. I ask my husband for help and all he does is bring me a diaper and walk away. I finally get him changes and he’s absolutely hysterical, full blown screaming crying tantrum. I sneak away to change my pee soaked clothes. My husband gives him an apple sauce pouch to try to calm him down while dinner is heating up, and he squeezes his pouch all over me, so I’m now covered in apple sauce. I reacted and my reaction set my son off even more, now he’s screaming bloody murder, and I’m stripping down to my underwear. There’s apple sauce all over my shirt and I ask my husband to wipe it up, and he starts wiping my naked leg with a paper towel that’s already soaked in apple sauce that he wiped up from the couch. I told him to get away from me with that, and he flipped out on me, just being nasty and passive aggressive. Now the confession part, I lost it. I started saying “fuck you” to him repeatedly and in that moment I truly hated his guts. Like I just wanted to say the most hurtful thing I could think of, but all that would come out was “fuck you”. He was supposed to leave for his 12 step meeting and I started telling him to just leave and go hang out with the other addicts. It didn’t phase him which just made me want to say more mean things. I vowed earlier this week not to lose my cool in front of my son. I don’t want him to think of me as angry. These pregnancy hormones just make me so angry. Last pregnancy I once threw a cream cheese bagel at my husband while he was driving because he made me so mad. I grew up with an angry dad and i keep thinking that bit of him got into me and some day my son will be like this and it’ll be all my fault. I feel like a horrible awful failure of a mom right now.
@zande2016 *hugs* so sorry your having one of those days. Wish H would be more thoughtful of what you mean when you ask help. I’m having a similar struggle. Don’t think your turning into your dad. I think it’s one thing to be like that and other that you can admit when it’s not right and trying to change it. Hang in there mama. Hope tomorrow is better!
Thanks @wildtot. I know my husband thinks he’s helping, or he is doing something else and is incapable of multitasking, but I just wish he could do what I need in that moment. He apologized after, and I probably should have apologized to him but I just couldn’t yet. He’s at his meeting now. I just feel like crying. It’s so hard because when I’m away from him i feel bad but when I’m around him I just feel angry. I’m trying to tell myself it’s just hormones and stress and sleep deprivation. I’m sorry you’re going through similar struggles with your husband.
My dog has been hiding under the bed for an hour now. Which makes me feel even worse. I need to come up with some strategies for not letting my kid (and apparently my dog) see me lose my temper.
@zande2016 I have been there too. I hate losing my cool in front of my son because I certainly don't want him to think that's how you're supposed to deal with problems but SHIT sometimes things get overwhelming. I've lost my cool to the point where it made my son cry and its the worst feeling. Hugs to you and I hope the night ends on a good note, and tomorrow is better!
@runsomewhere Trust me - you will KNOW when you get a hemorrhoid. It’s miserable. I got one in first trimester, and the angry mofo came back 2 weeks ago and just won’t quit.
@zande2016 My husband is a veritable saint, and I’ve said much worse to him multiple times the last 6.5 months... I’ve even told him I know I should apologize bc I’ve been mean, but I’m too angry to do so...so I can’t. Weirdly he accepted that as a sufficient apology.
My FFFC is I told a recruiter I was too busy to meet her in person today and FaceTimed her from my office — when I just didn’t want her to realize I’m pregnant AF and not move me forward in the process... Debating if that is gonna bite me in the ass later.
Someone I know is getting married and someone got a little trigger happy with the registry gun! Now I love and adore all the registries and showers (is that my UO?) but of all the showers and registries, I’ve never seen one quite like this..I am side-eyeing so hard my eyes might get stuck there. It’s so outrageous I don’t know whether to hold onto my rage or admire the hustle. I’m speechless...it is *that* bad y’all.
Oh @zande2016 just reading that stressed me out, don’t blame yourself on losing your cool. Hormones are crazy. My mom was a hot head growing up, and I definitely feel some of that boiling up when I get angry but it’s so much more manageable when I’m not pregnant. You’re doing great, your H should have been more present and stepped up when you needed it.
@kissableviv I also get way too excited about a good BM- especially since it’s such a rarity these days.
On the the topic of poop, I’ve also never had a hemorrhoid but I’m terrified of them and will go out of my way to not force a poop no matter how uncomfortable I am. I also have an irrational fear I’ll pop the baby out if I push too hard..
My mom also had a super short fuse and frequently let her anger take over the smallest issues in very loud and physically aggressive ways. (I think she is more calm now). I somehow turned out the opposite tho. I never yell or scream, I curse a lot under my breath, and I get super angry sometimes, but my rage burns inside and it's hard for me to articulate the feelings in words even when I need to. My temper tantrums include silently and angrily stomping around and slamming things shut or throwing them into closets...at least when I was going through angry PPD last year that's how I cleaned lol! I need a lot of alone time and space to sort out my feelings before i can talk about them, which took DH a long time to fully understand because he prefers to hash things out right then and there but I don't function that way and it makes me shut down even more. He gets it now, and silently waits for me to approach him (and kind of bulldozes away other triggers) which is super helpful and more productive for us both. I feel you ladies on the emotions and the feelings of being misunderstood. I really really hope that things get better for you soon. Don't feel bad about blowing up sometimes, it happens because we're human and it doesn't have to define you. One thing DH did last fall when he was feeling unappreciated was write me a long email explaining everything he was feeling. Maybe try writing out all of your feelings, hopes, disappointments, etc and emailing it to YHs and see if that helps start a productive conversation and introspection.
@flockofmoosen3 my husband is just like you...he bottles up his anger and then when it builds up he starts slamming things. Actually he did that tonight when I snapped at him and that was what triggered me to get really angry at him. I’m like your husband, I like to hash everything out right then and there when I’m angry. I think I need to take more time to cool off or try to at least.
@BrittG13 Is it close to asking for a new house or car? I think registries tell a lot of a person.
A good BM is always something to celebrate when pregnant
More of a random: So just realized i can cope more easily with DSs crying than his whining. Whining just is just more irritating and and gives me anxiety.
@wildtot I CANT do whining. DS went through a phase with this hellion screech accompanied by a whine and a floor drop that could peel paint off the walls. I’ll take crying any day, at least I can empathize with that.
First of all, *multiple* registries, imagine all normal items but like 3x more expensive then they need to be (kitchen UTENSILS averaging about $40 a piece...not for a SET...A PIECE) multiples of items that there are no good reason for, stuff that won’t get used or have a place to live in a very tiny city apartment, ugly prints and patterns, things that don’t make sense given their lifestyle like *thousands* in cookware for people that as far as I can tell barely cook...also books, electronics, random pieces of useless furniture and decorations that cost hundreds of dollars a piece..I don’t want to be too specific on here but you get the idea...
Let me clear I don’t care what car you drive, how big your house is or what all you choose to put in it..however when you expect other people to pay for it all....
@BrittG13 DH's friend had the most outrageous wedding registry. We're talking an xbox one a 60" flat screen an $800 grill etc. and not to sound snobbish but it was a super low key wedding, like the groom was wearing jeans and a band t-shirt at the reception the ceremony and reception took place in her parent's backyard and the food was bbq on paper plates, the first dance took place in the drive way. I normally don't judge but when you're asking for extravagant gifts I feel like you need to throw an extravagant party.
Wtf! We had like 3-4 things that were between 200-300 and that was it. Everything else was under $100. We invited mostly couples and we paid for some of the guests' accommodation so we kinda figured that they would be comfortable gifting things for $100. I'm feeling awful adding a few $200 pieces to the baby registry but I know my family in Italy never sees me and they usually splurge on gifts because again they rarely spend money on me considering I've libed here 8 years...
@kissableviv I feel weird about some of the things on our baby registry too, like I really want the owlet sock monitor and the mattress I picked out is pretty expensive because I did too much research and got freaked out lol but I'm hoping it'll be viewed as okay because my mom is throwing my shower at a pretty expensive venue, and there will be a really nice brunch buffet and mimosas and we're doing nice favors. So hopefully my guests will feel like they got a party worthy of what I registered for.
@carsonraynee similar situation, we're having a full lunch catered and alcohol, in any case most of our stuff is very affordable and starts at $5 and illI be happy with a bunch of nipple cream lol!
As far as registries go, my FFFC is that I put several $100+items on there. I take it from the POV that if someone wants to buy you something nice, they will. If someone wants to spend $200 on you, they are gonna do it even if you don't have $200 items to get on your registry; they'll just buy a bunch of small shit that ads up to that amount. Your registry shouldn't be filled with $200 items and up and that's all, because you will price some guests out; even if you have a great party, I can't buy $100 + worth of stuff for everyone who has an expensive registry. When I got married, my family made me do a registry because we were having a party and they weren't even invited to the actual wedding (we got married at Voodoo Donuts in Portland, OR and only moms, dads, and siblings came) and I still put a Kitchen Aid Mixer on there and a few other $200+ cooking items.
My point is that registries are essentially grown ass people asking for shit they should be able to buy themselves as congratulatory gifts for entering whatever phase of life they are in. Unless you are accidentally preggo, lots of people planned for this and should be able to buy or already have everything they need to start a life together/life with baby. So everything on a registry, regardless of price, is frivolous stuff you either don't need or should already be capable of purchasing. So throw an x-box on there. Yeah its less useful than a Calphalon cooking set or a down comforter but pretty close in price depending on which one you pick.
The last bridal shower I went to had a really expensive registry and I was pretty annoyed that I couldn’t get away without paying at least $100. I can be kinda cheap but when I set up mine I tried to be considerate and only ask for reasonable priced items. At the time I was thinking “I wouldn’t want to buy anyone anything crazy expensive so I’m not going to ask others to do it for me”. To each his own though!
@julianne0 that’s how I feel too. Since the expectation is for someone to buy you a gift I think a good range of prices is good. There will be people like family or close friends that really want to splurge on you, but lots of people won’t be able to afford an extravagant gift.
@wildtot that’s usually what I do too lol. Pretty much because I’m lazy and forget to go shopping. But really, thinking back to my wedding, it was nice to have a nice wad of cash that we got for our wedding. We bought a tv and a mattress that we weren’t planning on getting. Cash is nice too!
@SmashJam For sure, I had some splurge items on mine, including a kitchen aid and I put the 4moms breeze on my baby registry and someone loving bought it for us but nearly every item on theirs is what I’d call a splurge and insane..I also know a lot of people going will not be able to afford 90% of what they put on there and the rest wouldn’t buy it on principle..we’re talking an $800 Wall Decoration item...
@hillbillywife right- like put a range of things on there that vary in prices for those that can afford it and those who can’t! Common curtesy @BrittG13 $800 wall item?! That’s just crazy. That’s like delusion thinking to me
@BrittG13 so I used to work at the bedding and kitchen area of Macys, and the people doing their wedding registry vs when the guests came in to buy the items was PRICELESS!
Step 1: Couple registers for a $3,500.00 bedding set (among other ridiculously priced items).
Step 2: months later I get customers asking "so, what the heck can I get on this registry for $50.00?" I smile and hand them 1 pillow sham, or two towels (since there is nothing else under 100.00 on the registry at all)
Step 3: Couple comes back later to return their 2 towels, set of pillowcases, and one glass vase that they got from their registry and wonder why they got so many off registry items.... know your guests!
ETA - i think baby registries are a bit different. Everything I added was something I was considering purchasing on my own. After the shower I just went out and bought the remaining items as needed. I feel like a lot of people doing the wedding registry just put frivolous crap on there that they would never actually spend their own money on
I agree with the registries. There are a few items I put on my list that I’d actually like a better one of (ex: mattress) but don’t feel comfortable having an expensive one on there. Same with the changing pad. I put a regular one on there. Since finding out baby will have a cleft, and all my reading about how it *can* (but not always) lead to weight gain issues, I’ve debated taking the regular one off and adding the hatch one that weighs baby. But then I think I’m being paranoid. Lol. So I am leaving it alone. I figure IF baby has weight gain issues and I need to monitor in between appointments or feel like baby isn’t getting enough to eat, then we will buy it ourselves.
I think that the completion discount is one good reason to add whatever you want in there. I actually put a disclaimer in the registry description saying that it's an extensive list but since Amazon has great benefits to purchase items later on too it makes sense and people should not feel obligated. These are all close friends so they know us, lots of them have kids which means they know how this works
@cseley321 your steps are spot on!! We went to a wedding recently where everything on the registry was ridiculously expensive. All reasonable items, but 20x more expensive than they should actually be. So guess what? Off registry gift for you! I’m sorry. On principle, I refuse to spend $100 for ONE wine glass.
I am here for the completion discounts for sure! I have an amazon and target registry for this child since we need a few things but I have no showers planned and we haven’t advertised it and for that matter they’re set to private so no one could look it up anyway...
It just caught me so off guard because we’ve been to a lot of weddings, some quite well off, and they never asked for anything close to all that!
I have been behind on this thread but I think I read all the comments to catch up, I just want to add, i dont think anyone should feel bad about adding >$200 items to their registries at all. Many essentials could be at least that much, car seat, stroller, high chair, pack n play, etc. A lot of time close friends or family members want to give a very needed, nice, big ticket item. In my family, often a few siblings will chip in together to afford one of the pricier gifts. As long as there are different price point optins available on a registry, including $20 items, which there are tons of things baby needs for even less then that! I don't think guests will think anything of it. Though, an $800 wall hanging might make me think, what the heck? Lol
Since we’re on the topic of registry tackiness....My parents want to buy us something bigger for the baby. This is our second, same sex and same season. We already bought the few things we did need (another video monitor, car seat, etc). Is it totally tacky to ask for a one or two month cleaning service? I cannot think of anything else we need!
@tarheelgirl8 I don’t think that’s tacky, they want to do something and you already have the big ticket items. I would totally suggest a cleaning service, but maybe wouldn’t specific the time frame you want unless they asked.
Re: FFFC 4/20
My FFFC, I've heard so much about hemorrhoids during this pregnancy and while I still don't understand wtf they are it freaks me out so I keep checking by butt in the mirror to make sure everything looks ok.
I cant stop think about cake since my third tri gif lol I’m also starting to get lazy at work with only 10 wks left (and counting) but i have so much to do!! But again I’ve been looking up blackout curtains for the past hour.
I learned while at my colonoscopy last year that once you get hemorrhoids, they never go away. They sit idle until you piss them off again. So, I have hemorrhoids and haven't pissed them off until 2 days ago...it has been a painful 2 days of pooping and farting.
FFFC: I'm supposed to work o/t and have a lot to do today, however I've already checked out mentally. My pregnant brain cannot handle this much work. I want sleep. Also, I had a McDonalds mcdouble cheeseburger, fries go-gurt, and dr. Pepperfor lunch. My blood sugar is on the high side...idgaf it was worth it!!!
Edit: grammar fails me today.
Along the same lines - poop related - I'm really proud of myself when I have a healthy bowel movement, it's like clapping hands when a toddler poops in the potty!
All the hemorrhoid talk reminds me too of a show my H and I were watching called Embarrassing bodies. There were lots of butt grapes on there. They show them to you and some of them were pretty gnarley. Eek. I’m not brave enough to check my rear end with a mirror (at this point).
Confession: I was supposed to do a lot of things today but I have been so tired so I mostly vegged. Feeling guilty about it.
My confession is pregnancy rage. It’s hit me hard this week. My son is in a cranky whiny tantrum phase, life is stressful, I’m exhausted, my husbands been pissing me off. I got home from work today and my husband and son were just getting home too (my son was at my moms and my husband picked him up on the way home). My son was in a horrible mood and clearly was over hungry, and immediately started crying when we got inside. I then realized he was peeing all over himself and me....I guess my mom neglected to change his diaper which seems to hAppen a lot with her. So I’m absolutely covered in pee, holding a screaming toddler, and trying to get his clothes off and diaper changes but he won’t let me. I ask my husband for help and all he does is bring me a diaper and walk away. I finally get him changes and he’s absolutely hysterical, full blown screaming crying tantrum. I sneak away to change my pee soaked clothes. My husband gives him an apple sauce pouch to try to calm him down while dinner is heating up, and he squeezes his pouch all over me, so I’m now covered in apple sauce. I reacted and my reaction set my son off even more, now he’s screaming bloody murder, and I’m stripping down to my underwear. There’s apple sauce all over my shirt and I ask my husband to wipe it up, and he starts wiping my naked leg with a paper towel that’s already soaked in apple sauce that he wiped up from the couch. I told
him to get away from me with that, and he flipped out on me, just being nasty and
passive aggressive. Now the confession part, I lost it. I started saying “fuck you” to him repeatedly and in that moment I truly hated his guts. Like I just wanted to say the most hurtful thing I could think of, but all that would come out was “fuck you”. He was supposed to leave for his 12 step meeting and I started telling him to just leave and go hang out with the other addicts. It didn’t phase him which just made
me want to say more mean things. I vowed earlier this week not to lose my cool in front of my son. I don’t want him to think of me as angry. These pregnancy hormones just make
me so angry. Last pregnancy I once threw a cream cheese bagel at my husband while he was driving because he made me so mad. I grew up with an angry dad and i keep thinking that bit of him got into me and some day my son will be like this and it’ll be all my fault. I feel like a horrible awful failure of a mom right now.
My dog has been hiding under the bed for an hour now. Which makes me feel even worse. I need to come up with some strategies for not letting my kid (and apparently my dog) see me lose my temper.
@zande2016 My husband is a veritable saint, and I’ve said much worse to him multiple times the last 6.5 months... I’ve even told him I know I should apologize bc I’ve been mean, but I’m too angry to do so...so I can’t. Weirdly he accepted that as a sufficient apology.
@kissableviv I also get way too excited about a good BM- especially since it’s such a rarity these days.
On the the topic of poop, I’ve also never had a hemorrhoid but I’m terrified of them and will go out of my way to not force a poop no matter how uncomfortable I am.
I also have an irrational fear I’ll pop the baby out if I push too hard..
@BrittG13 I am really curious. What crazy things were on this registry?
I feel you ladies on the emotions and the feelings of being misunderstood. I really really hope that things get better for you soon. Don't feel bad about blowing up sometimes, it happens because we're human and it doesn't have to define you.
One thing DH did last fall when he was feeling unappreciated was write me a long email explaining everything he was feeling. Maybe try writing out all of your feelings, hopes, disappointments, etc and emailing it to YHs and see if that helps start a productive conversation and introspection.
Clearly not a fffc, can't think of one tho!
A good BM is always something to celebrate
when pregnant
More of a random: So just realized i can cope more easily with DSs crying than his whining. Whining just is just more irritating and and gives me anxiety.
First of all, *multiple* registries, imagine all normal items but like 3x more expensive then they need to be (kitchen UTENSILS averaging about $40 a piece...not for a SET...A PIECE) multiples of items that there are no good reason for, stuff that won’t get used or have a place to live in a very tiny city apartment, ugly prints and patterns, things that don’t make sense given their lifestyle like *thousands* in cookware for people that as far as I can tell barely cook...also books, electronics, random pieces of useless furniture and decorations that cost hundreds of dollars a piece..I don’t want to be too specific on here but you get the idea...
Let me clear I don’t care what car you drive, how big your house is or what all you choose to put in it..however when you expect other people to pay for it all....
I'm feeling awful adding a few $200 pieces to the baby registry but I know my family in Italy never sees me and they usually splurge on gifts because again they rarely spend money on me considering I've libed here 8 years...
My point is that registries are essentially grown ass people asking for shit they should be able to buy themselves as congratulatory gifts for entering whatever phase of life they are in. Unless you are accidentally preggo, lots of people planned for this and should be able to buy or already have everything they need to start a life together/life with baby. So everything on a registry, regardless of price, is frivolous stuff you either don't need or should already be capable of purchasing. So throw an x-box on there. Yeah its less useful than a Calphalon cooking set or a down comforter but pretty close in price depending on which one you pick.
@wildtot that’s usually what I do too lol. Pretty much because I’m lazy and forget to go shopping. But really, thinking back to my wedding, it was nice to have a nice wad of cash that we got for our wedding. We bought a tv and a mattress that we weren’t planning on getting. Cash is nice too!
@BrittG13 $800 wall item?! That’s just crazy. That’s like delusion thinking to me
Step 1: Couple registers for a $3,500.00 bedding set (among other ridiculously priced items).
Step 2: months later I get customers asking "so, what the heck can I get on this registry for $50.00?" I smile and hand them 1 pillow sham, or two towels (since there is nothing else under 100.00 on the registry at all)
Step 3: Couple comes back later to return their 2 towels, set of pillowcases, and one glass vase that they got from their registry and wonder why they got so many off registry items.... know your guests!
ETA - i think baby registries are a bit different. Everything I added was something I was considering purchasing on my own. After the shower I just went out and bought the remaining items as needed. I feel like a lot of people doing the wedding registry just put frivolous crap on there that they would never actually spend their own money on
It just caught me so off guard because we’ve been to a lot of weddings, some quite well off, and they never asked for anything close to all that!
ETA: brutal honestly please, ladies