July 2018 Moms

Re: FFFC 4/20

  • I got nothing today so I’ll go with my confession is I actually loved that song lol
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  • Along the lines of music...I still sometimes listen to Chris Brown songs when he comes on the radio or a playlist or something. I liked the "Look at me now" song he did with Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne and while I know I should not listen to him because he beat the shit out of Rhianna I can't help it sometimes.
  • zg49zg49 member
    @runsomewhere LOL I just laughed out loud! I've never had a major issue with them either (I don't think??) 

  • zombiehoohaazombiehoohaa member
    edited April 2018
    @runsomewhere you're fffc has me giggling and picturing a scene from orange is the new black...not about hemorrhoids, though. It was where a group of ladies didn't know they had a pee hole  and a vagina hole (technical terms are not my friend today). So they took turns using a compact mirror in a bathroom stall to check for that pee hole. (Insert laughing with tears emoji here)

    I learned while at my colonoscopy last year that once you get hemorrhoids, they never go away. They sit idle until you piss them off again. So, I have hemorrhoids and haven't pissed them off until 2 days ago...it has been a painful 2 days of pooping and farting. 

    FFFC: I'm supposed to work o/t and have a lot to do today, however I've already checked out mentally. My pregnant brain cannot handle this much work. I want sleep. Also, I had a McDonalds mcdouble cheeseburger, fries go-gurt, and dr. Pepperfor lunch. My blood sugar is on the high side...idgaf it was worth it!!!

    Edit: grammar fails me today. 

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

  • @kissableviv I totally feel the same way about a good BM! Lol. 

    All the hemorrhoid talk reminds me too of a show my H and I were watching called Embarrassing bodies. There were lots of butt grapes on there. They show them to you and some of them were pretty gnarley. Eek. I’m not brave enough to check my rear end with a mirror (at this point).

    Confession: I was supposed to do a lot of things today but I have been so tired so I mostly vegged. Feeling guilty about it.    
  • I had anal fissures after pushing my son out. I don’t know if it’s the same pain is hemorrhoids, but it was honestly the worst pain of my life trying to pass a bowel movement with that.

    My confession is pregnancy rage. It’s hit me hard this week. My son is in a cranky whiny tantrum phase, life is stressful, I’m exhausted, my husbands been pissing me off. I got home from work today and my husband and son were just getting home too (my son was at my moms and my husband picked him up on the way home). My son was in a horrible mood and clearly was over hungry, and immediately started crying when we got inside. I then realized he was peeing all over himself and me....I guess my mom neglected to change his diaper which seems to hAppen a lot with her. So I’m absolutely covered in pee, holding a screaming toddler, and trying to get his clothes off and diaper changes but he won’t let me. I ask my husband for help and all he does is bring me a diaper and walk away. I finally get him changes and he’s absolutely hysterical, full blown screaming crying tantrum. I sneak away to change my pee soaked clothes. My husband gives him an apple sauce pouch to try to calm him down while dinner is heating up, and he squeezes his pouch all over me, so I’m now covered in apple sauce. I reacted and my reaction set my son off even more, now he’s screaming bloody murder, and I’m stripping down to my underwear. There’s apple sauce all over my shirt and I ask my husband to wipe it up, and he starts wiping my naked leg with a paper towel that’s already soaked in apple sauce that he wiped up from the couch. I told
    him to get away from me with that, and he flipped out on me, just being nasty and
    passive aggressive. Now the confession part, I lost it. I started saying “fuck you” to him repeatedly and in that moment I truly hated his guts. Like I just wanted to say the most hurtful thing I could think of, but all that would come out was “fuck you”. He was supposed to leave for his 12 step meeting and I started telling him to just leave and go hang out with the other addicts. It didn’t phase him which just made
    me want to say more mean things. I vowed earlier this week not to lose my cool in front of my son. I don’t want him to think of me as angry. These pregnancy hormones just make
    me so angry. Last pregnancy I once threw a cream cheese bagel at my husband while he was driving because he made me so mad. I grew up with an angry dad and i keep thinking that bit of him got into me and some day my son will be like this and it’ll be all my fault. I feel like a horrible awful failure of a mom right now. 
  • @zande2016 *hugs* so sorry your having one of those days. Wish H would be more thoughtful of what you mean when you ask help. I’m having a similar struggle. Don’t think your turning into your dad. I think it’s one thing to be like that and other that you can admit when it’s not right and trying to change it. Hang in there mama. Hope tomorrow is better!
  • Thanks @wildtot. I know my husband thinks he’s helping, or he is doing something else and is incapable of multitasking, but I just wish he could do what I need in that moment. He apologized after, and I probably should have apologized to him but I just couldn’t yet. He’s at his meeting now. I just feel like crying. It’s so hard because when I’m away from him i feel bad but when I’m around him I just feel angry. I’m trying to tell myself it’s just hormones and stress and sleep deprivation. I’m sorry you’re going through similar struggles with your husband. 

    My dog has been hiding under the bed for an hour now. Which makes me feel even worse. I need to come up with some strategies for not letting my kid (and apparently my dog) see me lose my temper. 
  • @zande2016 I have been there too. I hate losing my cool in front of my son because I certainly don't want him to think that's how you're supposed to deal with problems but SHIT sometimes things get overwhelming. I've lost my cool to the point where it made my son cry and its the worst feeling. Hugs to you and I hope the night ends on a good note, and tomorrow is better!
  • @runsomewhere Trust me - you will KNOW when you get a hemorrhoid. It’s miserable. I got one in first trimester, and the angry mofo came back 2 weeks ago and just won’t quit. 

    @zande2016 My husband is a veritable saint, and I’ve said much worse to him multiple times the last 6.5 months... I’ve even told him I know I should apologize bc I’ve been mean, but I’m too angry to do so...so I can’t. Weirdly he accepted that as a sufficient apology. 
  • Oh @zande2016 just reading that stressed me out, don’t blame yourself on losing your cool. Hormones are crazy. My mom was a hot head growing up, and I definitely feel some of that boiling up when I get angry but it’s so much more manageable when I’m not pregnant. You’re doing great, your H should have been more present and stepped up when you needed it. 

    @kissableviv I also get way too excited about a good BM- especially since it’s such a rarity these days. 

    On the the topic of poop, I’ve also never had a hemorrhoid but I’m terrified of them and will go out of my way to not force a poop no matter how uncomfortable I am. 
    I also have an irrational fear I’ll pop the baby out if I push too hard.. 
  • Thanks for making me feel more normal! I know my husband tries, he just fails on execution a lot. And my non pregnant self would cut him more slack. 

    @BrittG13 I am really curious. What crazy things were on this registry? 
  • My mom also had a super short fuse and frequently let her anger take over the smallest issues in very loud and physically aggressive ways. (I think she is more calm now). I somehow turned out the opposite tho. I never yell or scream, I curse a lot under my breath, and I get super angry sometimes, but my rage burns inside and it's hard for me to articulate the feelings in words even when I need to. My temper tantrums include silently and angrily stomping around and slamming things shut or throwing them into closets...at least when I was going through angry PPD last year that's how I cleaned lol! I need a lot of alone time and space to sort out my feelings before i can talk about them, which took DH a long time to fully understand because he prefers to hash things out right then and there but I don't function that way and it makes me shut down even more. He gets it now, and silently waits for me to approach him (and kind of bulldozes away other triggers) which is super helpful and more productive for us both.
    I feel you ladies on the emotions and the feelings of being misunderstood. I really really hope that things get better for you soon. Don't feel bad about blowing up sometimes, it happens because we're human and it doesn't have to define you. 
    One thing DH did last fall when he was feeling unappreciated was write me a long email explaining everything he was feeling. Maybe try writing out all of your feelings, hopes, disappointments, etc and emailing it to YHs and see if that helps start a productive conversation and introspection.

    Clearly not a fffc, can't think of one tho!

    Isabella & Julian & and now #3!
  • @flockofmoosen3 my husband is just like you...he bottles up his anger and then when it builds up he starts slamming things. Actually he did that tonight when I snapped at him and that was what triggered me to get really angry at him. I’m like your husband, I like to hash everything out right then and there when I’m angry. I think I need to take more time to cool off or try to at least. 
  • @BrittG13 Is it close to asking for a new house or car? I think registries tell a lot of a person.

    A good BM is always something to celebrate
    when pregnant  :)

    More of a random: So just realized i can cope more easily with DSs crying than his whining. Whining just is just more irritating and and gives me anxiety. 
  • @wildtot I CANT do whining. DS went through a phase with this hellion screech accompanied by a whine and a floor drop that could peel paint off the walls. I’ll take crying any day, at least I can empathize with that. 
  • @kissableviv I feel weird about some of the things on our baby registry too, like I really want the owlet sock monitor and the mattress I picked out is pretty expensive because I did too much research and got freaked out lol but I'm hoping it'll be viewed as okay because my mom is throwing my shower at a pretty expensive venue, and there will be a really nice brunch buffet and mimosas and we're doing nice favors. So hopefully my guests will feel like they got a party worthy of what I registered for. 
  • @carsonraynee similar situation, we're having a full lunch catered and alcohol, in any case most of our stuff is very affordable and starts at $5 and illI be happy with a bunch of nipple cream lol!
  • The last bridal shower I went to had a really expensive registry and I was pretty annoyed that I couldn’t get away without paying at least $100. I can be kinda cheap but when I set up mine I tried to be considerate and only ask for reasonable priced items. At the time I was thinking “I wouldn’t want to buy anyone anything crazy expensive so I’m not going to ask others to do it for me”. To each his own though!
  • I’ve started leaning toward giving money or gift cards instead of an item they asked i can’t afford. Way easier lol
  • @julianne0 that’s how I feel too. Since the expectation is for someone to buy you a gift I think a good range of prices is good. There will be people like family or close friends that really want to splurge on you, but lots of people won’t be able to afford an extravagant gift. 

    @wildtot that’s usually what I do too lol. Pretty much because I’m lazy and forget to go shopping. But really, thinking back to my wedding, it was nice to have a nice wad of cash that we got for our wedding. We bought a tv and a mattress that we weren’t planning on getting.  Cash is nice too!
  • BrittG13BrittG13 member
    edited April 2018
    @SmashJam For sure, I had some splurge items on mine, including a kitchen aid and I put the 4moms breeze on my baby registry and someone loving bought it for us but nearly every item on theirs is what I’d call a splurge and insane..I also know a lot of people going will not be able to afford 90% of what they put on there and the rest wouldn’t buy it on principle..we’re talking an $800 Wall Decoration item...
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  • julianne0julianne0 member
    edited April 2018
    @hillbillywife right- like put a range of things on there that vary in prices for those that can afford it and those who can’t! Common curtesy  ;) 
    @BrittG13 $800 wall item?! That’s just crazy. That’s like delusion thinking to me 
  • cseley321cseley321 member
    edited April 2018
    @BrittG13 so I used to work at the bedding and kitchen area of Macys, and the people doing their wedding registry vs when the guests came in to buy the items was PRICELESS!

    Step 1: Couple registers for a $3,500.00 bedding set (among other ridiculously priced items).

    Step 2: months later I get customers asking "so, what the heck can I get on this registry for $50.00?" I smile and hand them 1 pillow sham, or two towels (since there is nothing else under 100.00 on the registry at all)

    Step 3: Couple comes back later to return their 2 towels, set of pillowcases, and one glass vase that they got from their registry and wonder why they got so many off registry items.... know your guests!

    ETA - i think baby registries are a bit different. Everything I added was something I was considering purchasing on my own. After the shower I just went out and bought the remaining items as needed. I feel like a lot of people doing the wedding registry just put frivolous crap on there that they would never actually spend their own money on
  • I agree with the registries. There are a few items I put on my list that I’d actually like a better one of (ex: mattress) but don’t feel comfortable having an expensive one on there. Same with the changing pad. I put a regular one on there. Since finding out baby will have a cleft, and all my reading about how it *can* (but not always) lead to weight gain issues, I’ve debated taking the regular one off and adding the hatch one that weighs baby. But then I think I’m being paranoid. Lol. So I am leaving it alone. I figure IF baby has weight gain issues and I need to monitor in between appointments or feel like baby isn’t getting enough to eat, then we will buy it ourselves. 
  • I am here for the completion discounts for sure! I have an amazon and target registry for this child since we need a few things but I have no showers planned and we haven’t advertised it and for that matter they’re set to private so no one could look it up anyway...

    It just caught me so off guard because we’ve been to a lot of weddings, some quite well off, and they never asked for anything close to all that!
    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • tarheelgirl8tarheelgirl8 member
    edited April 2018
    Since we’re on the topic of registry tackiness....My parents want to buy us something bigger for the baby.  This is our second, same sex and same season.  We already bought the few things we did need (another video monitor, car seat, etc).  Is it totally tacky to ask for a one or two month cleaning service?  I cannot think of anything else we need!  

    ETA:  brutal honestly please, ladies
  • @tarheelgirl8 I don’t think that’s tacky, they want to do something and you already have the big ticket items. I would totally suggest a cleaning service, but maybe wouldn’t specific the time frame you want unless they asked. 
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