Rants {April}

LaceyBee522 · April 2018

So, we got approved for the three bedroom apartment. Move in date would be May 15. Which should be good news... However, MH is now balking because he's afraid I'll go into early labor and he doesn't think the timing is good for the move. Argh...this is so frustrating!!

doxiemoxie212 · April 2018

@LaceyBee522 but like.... what... NOT moving at all is better...?

mytinc · April 2018

Oh man, I was hoping the apartment saga was decided and done with, @LaceyBee522. Let DH know that timing will NEVER be good. If the babies arrive early at least they sleep a lot as newborns. It will just get harder to try to move if you wait.

kmurdock925 · April 2018

Holy bugs no....I can't even imagine seeing bugs in my food like that...barf

@laceybee522- aahh the apartment! You can't let it get away! The babies won't know/care...just have movers and/or friends ready to move your stuff and get it done! Moving ALWAYS sucks babies or no babies

LaceyBee522 · April 2018

@doxiemoxie212 @mytinc Yes, these are all the things I'm thinking in my head. I'm trying not to get worked up about it. Every time we've tried to discuss it in the past, I've ended up crying, then he just apologizes (for nothing really). I'd like to move to the bigger apartment. On the other hand, if he says we can't do it, at least I will know FOR SURE we're staying in the little apartment and I can prepare appropriately.

meg95995 · April 2018

@LaceyBee522...Have you assembled any of the furniture yet?? It might make him commit to one or the other if you remind him what a PITA it would be to have to assemble it, then disassemble, the re-assemble once you're in the new apartment.

LaceyBee522 · April 2018

@meg95995 Lol! You read my mind! I'm going to put together the double bassinet thing this week. I want to see how much room it takes up. And, it might be a wake up call for him.

meg95995 · April 2018

Seeing is believing!

marcus7676 · April 2018

@LaceyBee522 my friends just moved from Boston proper out to the suburbs. She gave birth a week later. Totally doable!

dinodna3 · April 2018

@LaceyBee522 I moved a week after having DD and it was tough. Mainly because you are so overwhelmed with being a FTM, you don’t have time or energy to put things away and organized. Which in turn makes things more chaotic.

And let’s be real there is never a good time to move.

sabby2 · April 2018

Rant for the day.... another freaking snow storm!!!!

LaceyBee522 · April 2018

@sabby2 That is crazy! I cannot believe it is still snowing!!

MH and I had a talk this morning and we're officially not moving. I'm annoyed. It isn't what I wanted. However, it is good to just know what we're doing. Now I can start prepping stuff at this apartment and figure out how to make it work. Our lease isn't technically up until the end of August. I'm guessing by then MH will have had enough of us tripping over each other, the babies, and the babies' stuff that we'll actually get moved. Le sigh. So much drama for nothing.

emiliadkay · April 2018

@LaceyBee522 I'm sorry the move isn't happening, but glad you have some resolution. August isn't *so* far away, but I feel for you having to go through this apartment hunting bullisht twice. Hope the babies stay put well past mid-May just so you can lord it over him and say 'I told you so.'

mytinc · April 2018

I'm glad a decision has been made @LaceyBee522. Hopefully when you start looking again you'll find an awesome place and get it pinned down early this time.

lisa2589 · April 2018

MH is on the warpath (since last night) about this stupid dump truck model toy thing that is broken... my parents gave it to him years ago as a gag gift when he wanted a new (actual) dump truck for Christmas. I honestly don’t remember when or how it got broken, or throwing part of it away, but it’s been on a shelf in a closet for a long, long time. DD wanted to play with the parts of it yesterday when I was taking things out of the closet, so I let her have it. I mean I knew he’d be irritated that it was broken but he was actually pissed. Like idk know why so irrationally pissed about this stupid toy he hasn’t even looked at in years. And of course I’m pissed because I don’t get why he’s so pissed... yeah, it’s all good over here

sabby2 · April 2018

@2589 maybe something else is underlying? I know I personally can get that way about small, miniscule issues when a number of other stressful or irritating things happen prior... like a "last straw" type of deal. Hope he calms down and realizes in the grand scheme it's not that big of a deal.

doxiemoxie212 · April 2018

@2589 ok wait so... your husband is very upset about a toy dump truck he never actually wanted to have......?

lisa2589 · April 2018

@sabby2 @doxiemoxie212 I know! I was waiting all evening yesterday for the other shoe to drop, like what he was actually upset about and that was just what sent him over the ledge, but nothing ever came up. Today he is just making random jerk comments while DD is happily playing with it, like “Oh that used to be a nice truck but now it’s broken.” I seriously don’t know why this is such a big problem to him. There has to be something else at play.

marcus7676 · April 2018

@2589 not excusing his behavior st all, but do you think this could just be the way his stress over the new baby is showing itself?

lisa2589 · April 2018

@marcus7676 very possible, that was the day I had done major baby prep so he walked in to a kitchen full of bottles, pack n play taking up our room, swing, car seat, yada yada. He did also make a comment about “we still have a month and a half left, right?” So maybe it did overwhelm him that day.
Last night when he got home he didn’t have anything more to say about the broken toy so hopefully he realized what a d*ck he was being.

rnielsen321 · April 2018

@2589 - My DH has been very protective of his "ME" time for the last 4-5 months. Like GAWD forbid I ask him to do something for the home on his days off. He wants to do stuff for his hobby, and go faffing about. Not take care of cell phone contacts, find us a doctor, take the garbage out, put up artwork that has been lying around for months or anything else.

I pushed him on it, because I had enough (both on the spending $$ and the I need isht done around the house to help with the stress), and got the "my life will never be the same after this one arrives. I will be solely responsible for taking care of blah blah blah, and will never ever have time for myself again, wah wah wah" speech. Same one I had before the arrival of DD. Same behaviour, too.

Turns out, we have a better life now, more time as a family and he has more time to enjoy, and his side business, may end up becoming his full time gig in about 18 months. He has just literally talked himself into what is going to happen without actually rationalizing it. After a scheduled rational discussion (yes we are those people), we figured it out, and he is different person all together. Still not super excited about the first 90 days, but way better.

lisa2589 · April 2018

Thank you @rnielsen321. Assuming this actually is the underlying issue, we probably do need to both sit down and have a discussion about what our worries are about life with baby #2 and what our game plan actually is for trying to get things going smoothly with DD and us adjusting and so on. And maybe if I initiate this conversation and something else is really bothering him, he will feel like bringing it into the open then as well. I probably don’t do a good job about checking in with him on how he’s feeling about things since I’m kind of a do it myself person on the getting ready type stuff. And maybe he feels left out because of that?

Austenista · April 2018

@rneilson321 coming to you from the other side of this spectrum. I think my husband copes by being excessively busy with things when new baby/family dynamics change. I have to beg him sometimes to sit down and relax. I was begging him in the hospital to just sit next to me for while and he really struggled to do it. He was obsessed with getting my breast pump, walking the dogs, checking on the baby in the NICU, bringing me food, etc etc. He’s really got into my nesting phase the past couple of weekends though, “what now? What now?” he says. But sometimes can we just relax and snuggle? If we do that though 9/10 he goes to sleep. I think it’s 100 or zero for him, honestly.

stephcat421 · April 2018

@austenista I'm sorry I thought I've done decent with keeping up, but last I saw you were just getting steroid shots and NST.... Did I miss something? You wrote baby in the NICU above!

Austenista · April 2018

@stephcat421 sorry friend, I should have clarified I was talking about DS. I’m still cooking this current inside baby.

stephcat421 · April 2018

@austenista oh I never knew that about YS :'( but glad you're still going strong with your current babe!

Austenista · April 2018

@stephcat421 aww thanks. We were fortunate he was only there for about 7 days (felt like a month!) until his lungs started producing surfactant on their own. He was born at 37 weeks due to my pre-e diagnosis. I'm glad to report he's happy and thriving these days.

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