When will you announce?

mockingjay1 · March 2018

@tessiesmom26 - I told my boss in conversation with DS, and with this one I plan to tell her (a different boss) in a conversation as well.

eta: I work in a hospital and my job duties won't change so I don't think they are usually submitted in writing there.

goldfishcraker · March 2018

@tessiesmom26 I had a convo with my boss. Had to tell her early for accommodations, and she has been great. She's fine keeping it from the higher ups for now, but I'll eventually have to put a request in writing so they have a position ready for when I need to go on light duties

firsttimemommyjessie · March 2018

It is so hard not telling everyone! So far at six weeks, I have only told my very close circle immediate family, and best friends. Once I see the ultrasound and heart beat (April 5th) I will tell the rest of my circle. It will not be public until 10-12 weeks. I already have my announcement planned

kbrown2385 · March 2018

I’ve only told two of my friends, *tw* but they’ve been there with all of my losses this past year *end tw*. We will probably keep it from everyone else, including our families until we get confirmation of heartbeat and feel this is a sticky baby, so def closer to 12 weeks. Not sure when/or if we will announce on social media.

4kids2018 · March 2018

I honestly have no idea when I'm going to tell anyone other than close friends and family. I'm only 5 weeks so I have quite awhile to think about it. This is baby #4 for me and it was a huge shock!! My first 3 kids dad passed away a little over a year ago and I had just moved on. But social pressure and pretenses make it hard for me to be excited.

tinypikachu · March 2018

**TW: MC mentioned

I’m 4w2d and telling immediate family today. We’re putting DD in a Big Sister shirt and waiting to see how long it takes for them to figure it out. Tbh, this time around I’ve struggled with telling anyone, even our family, this early but they were there for our loss and I know I’d like their support if anything were to happen. We’re waiting to tell anyone else, including work, until after 12 weeks (probably after the NT scan)

purplefan1 · March 2018

**TW: MC mentioned

I plan on waiting until 13 weeks to tell family. We told family about 8 weeks along after a good scan with our very first that we lost at 10 weeks due to a MMC. The second one (our almost 2 year old) it worked out well that 13 weeks fell over the Christmas holidays so we just incorporated telling people as part of their Christmas gifts. I got pregnant again this past August but it was a very early MC so I told people after the fact. I would love to announce in a way that uses my daughter as part of the announcement. We will be visiting family in Texas around the 13/14 week mark so may tell them while we are on vacation. The rest of my world finds out around the 20 week mark after the anatomy scan, which is what we did with our daughter and worked well for us.

I support people telling whenever they feel comfortable.

aly12986 · March 2018

We've told my mom, my sister, his mom, a few close friends and my j15 mama group.

Go for first ultra sound on the 30th. May announce then.

MouseMama817 · March 2018

We just found out but haven't told anyone yet. We had a MMC last August so I will wait to tell close family until I get the results of my first two HCG tests. After that, close friends will follow but we wont announce to social media or extended friends and family until the first scan.

babyptobe · March 2018

I told some close friends and my parents at what I though was 8 weeks. We had our first OB visit the following week and he pushed me back to 6w6d at that time (I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow). So i had to tell everyone I told that they needed to keep the secret longer! We will be announcing to the world on April 23rd, I'll be 12 weeks at that point.

@sailorosie what a jerk! I'll be putting my employer in a bad position too because I'm due and will be out on maternity during our busiest time of year and being down 1 person will be detrimental to our team. But I'm kind of dancing on the inside because they really beat me up last year! my due date was a mini victory for me LOL. I am waiting until I'm 10 weeks to tell them just to dig the knife deeper

erinmarie86 · March 2018

we told my mom and her husband over the weekend!!! ek! it's nice to tell people...but seriously waiting for my appointment next week for confirmation before really spreading the word...though it will never be announced on facebook (just not our thing)

pink_polkadots · March 2018

Y’all... we told our DD the other night and told her she was going to be a big sister. She looks at us with a straight face... “no... no I don’t wanna do that” and walks away

tessiesmom26 · March 2018

@pink_polkadots That's adorable!

I told my boss yesterday. We had been talking about our disability plans and the new MA rule on pregnancy so it felt like a good time. I said it was still a bit early and he was fine with it and said once I feel more comfortable then we will tell his boss. He asked for my timeline and said we have plenty of time to figure things out. I'm very happy with how it went down and he actually said "Congrats!"

MouseMama817 · March 2018

@pink_polkadots Omgosh that is hilarious!

kenzleefrenz · March 2018

Ill be 21 when i have my first. But i think ill tell my close family at 12-14 weeks.. But my family is not Okay with the idea of children before marriage.. Its nerve racking.. How should i tell them..? And do you really think 21 is too young to have a baby? if you have a career a car in college exc. If youre mature for the age then i dont think its something bad.

lurvleybunchococonuts · March 2018

@kenzleefrez Not trying to be rude, but close to every single one of your posts so far has something to do with your age. Seems like you're the one with the problem being young. When I was 21 I *thought* I would be ready to have a baby, and do some people do it successfully? Yes. But good lord I'm glad I didn't. I thought I was a mature 21 also, "with a car and career." But spoiler alert, maturity isn't summed up by having a job, a vehicle, and going to school. It's about making smart choices in life and is a constant on-going/changing thing. Your views on things will shift as you age. What was important at 21 (to me) is vastly different from what I find important now (31). I truly wish you the best and I hope you're able to find a some younger FTMs to connect with here. Just be prepared for your entire life to change. Also, again IMO, if you're mature enough to have a baby than you damned well should be mature enough to not give an eff what your family thinks about you having said little one outside of marriage. I'm not going to say what's "right" for you, because who knows, maybe you'll rock at being a mom. My only advise is stop focusing on your age and focus on the LO you have on the way and making the best life possible for him/her. Good luck!

kenzleefrenz · March 2018

Thanks.. I really dont mind my age its just something big i have to also think about and i just thought i could ask for some advice.. Family is a big thing and i just want to try to have support. not stress and drama. Thats not what i ment by the job thing and all that thought.. I was more trying to explain i wasnt a bumb sitting on the couch waiting for a parent to cater to me. But thank you for replying.

lurvleybunchococonuts · March 2018

I hear ya and there's no reason not to ask advise regarding your age, but you really don't need to do it in every post and it will come across better if you are direct about it (not hinting at a subject 8 times). More so than ever before you need to stand up for yourself, if you have a question be direct and ask it. If you have an opinion than state it. You can still be respectful & polite while being direct. You're no longer "almost 21 year old college student". You're mom. You HAVE to act like it.
I completely understand family being a big thing, but honestly, if they're unsupportive, than you find people that are supportive to be around.
I didn't get the implication that all you do is sit on a couch for a parent to cater to you. I don't know many 20-year-olds that do that. I have a very good relationship with my parents, but I've been on my own supporting myself since I was 18 so that thought never crossed my mind.
You haven't said, but if you're still living at home with your parents I'd recommend changing that sooner rather than later, but again, that's something you need to decide. Again, good luck.

MouseMama817 · March 2018

kenzleefrenz said:

Ill be 21 when i have my first. But i think ill tell my close family at 12-14 weeks.. But my family is not Okay with the idea of children before marriage.. Its nerve racking.. How should i tell them..? And do you really think 21 is too young to have a baby? if you have a career a car in college exc. If youre mature for the age then i dont think its something bad.

I totally understand being nervous to tell your parents. When I was pregnant with my first I was 26 and married and still nervous to tell my father! My advice is to prepare yourself for the possibility that they may not be thrilled at first (I only say this because you mentioned their beliefs on children before marriage) Give them space to come around on that but as @lurvleybunchococonuts said, your obligations aren’t to anyone else now but your LO. Find your supportive people and draw strength from them. Age has little to do with maturity and if you’re worried about some sort of social stigma (which is the vibe I’m getting at least), don’t. It has no bearing on the type of mother you’ll be and you won’t care about any of that nonsense when your baby is born. Priorities!

prairiemomma82 · March 2018

Anyone with older kids?? We have a blended family (mine boy 13, boy 11, and girl 8; his boy 13 and girl 10. My kids are here nearly full time, his part time) We lost one last year and they were all devastated, we told them early. They still bring it up (the girls specifically) since then, both teens have specifically said “NO MORE KIDS IN THE HOUSE!!” Ha! (It’s weird telling kids when they know very well where babies come from haha) anyway, 7 weeks or so now, have heard a heartbeat... they’re concerned (especially my daighter) that I’ve had so many appointments lately, and keep asking why I’m always tired...REALLY want to tell them, but also, don’t, ya know?? Feeling a little more confident now, but also scared and don’t want to put them through grieving again.

Note: my ex already knows because my daughter has been texting him saying she’s worried about mommy.

Tips/advice?? TIA!

kenzleefrenz · March 2018

Thank you its nice to hear people that understand the parent side of it and not a judgemental family point of view. I am sorry to post it everywhere.. I didnt quite understand the message boards. I didnt know who if anyone would respond i didnt think multiple people would read the boards i posted on. Sorry for the annoyance.

I am excited for my little one more than anything. Im sure family will come around to the idea some time and if not thats not my priority. To keep my little one and myself is. Ty

MouseMama817 · March 2018

@kenzleefrenz Not an annoyance! But I do recommend reading the "Read First: Board Organization" thread near the top of the message board just to familiarize yourself with how the everything works. When I first joined TB as a FTM I thought others were being obnoxious and uptight about where things were posted but it really does get chaotic if there's not some organization. I hope it isn't discouraging when we tell you that. My BMB was invaluable to me as a FTM; I learned so many things I never would've known about had it not been for the ladies on this site so I hope you'll stick around so we can all support each other through this exciting time!

Edited for spelling

tinypikachu · March 2018

@kenzleefrenz maturity =/= age. I moved out on my own to a different country at 20, then got engaged, and then got married at 22. I grew up real fast and was ready for the move at 20 and big changes after that. Not everyone is really ready to marry at 22, but I feel I was. I’ll be 29 when this little one is born and I have an 18 month old and a happy marriage so I definitely don’t feel it was a mistake. I’m saying that what others may not be or have been ready to do at 21 has no bearing on what you are or are not ready to do. I can’t say that 21 is too young because I don’t know you. But I don’t judge you and nobody can. I understand where you’re coming from with the apprehension regarding telling your family and I think being apprehensive about it has little to do with maturity and more to do with caring about your family and wanting their support. But I agree with others: this babe is your priority now so if they don’t support you, all you can do is move on and hope they come around. Stick around, read the pinned posts. A BMB is a huge help, no matter your age

hollyeva · April 2018

We have a small group of friends we've always told early (around 5 weeks) so I had some people to talk to about the pregnancies. This time I'm waiting a little bit (I'm 6 weeks today) before I tell them. We're going to be on a trip to England in May at the 13 week point. I'm thinking we'll do a big family picture at Big Ben or some other historic place in London and then announce it then to the rest of the world. I don't think DD1 or DD2 know, although DH and I have plenty of conversations around them about it, but it's always inference as opposed to outright talking about it.

MojieJo · April 2018

We tell people in stages from immediately to 12 weeks to...whenever they find out from someone other than us or via social media if they can be bothered to check and see if we're still alive.

So far, my parents, DH's mom and her husband, DH's sister, BIL, their kids (our only nieces and nephews), my uncle and our mutual best friend know (most were told on Easter, but my parents knew immediately and DH's mom knew around 6 1/2 weeks since we were waiting to surprise her for her birthday).

Pretty much everyone else will be finding out around 12 weeks in a blanket social media announcement (or much later/indefinitely later/never unless someone else tells them if they're one of the people in our lives who don't give a crap about us or what's going on in our lives; sadly that includes my brother and DH's dad).

One exception will be another mutual friend of ours who will be told around 12 weeks, but in person, before our social media announcement since it needs to be handled delicately and we don't want to blindsided him or his wife (** TW ** they've had two losses in the last couple years, including a stillbirth).

I actually really hate social media, but it's the only way to easily tell DH's family as a whole. My family mostly doesn't care (we're not close at all) and aren't on social media (or aren't friends of mine if they are, I really don't even know) so they'll either find out eventually or they won't (most don't even know about our twins because they're not a part of our lives in any way, shape or form, and wouldn't care).

Eveinshock · April 2018

I have to confess. I told my parents yesterday. They got so happy and then I told them April Fools! Then I felt so bad, but I want to surprise them a better way than just blurting it out!

prairiemomma82 · April 2018

So, the most important announcement on my mind is telling our kids (ages 13/13/11/10/8) Thursday morning is our first official OB-GYN visit, hopefully we will see babe is growing and healthy, and nail down an EDD. They will all be with us this Thursday after school. If all is well at the appt, we are debating just printing this and putting it on the fridge, then let them figure it out (they're all smart cookies) Thoughts?

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/bm/rbhnnnmsdmwo.jpg

lurvleybunchococonuts · April 2018

@prairiemomma82 Aww, I love it! I think that's a super cute idea!

bqtmom25 · April 2018

My SIL just announced her 1st pregnancy (my 4th)

a month before our EDD! I'm hoping everyone will be super fantastically over the moon excited but I'm nervous now. People tend to be less thrilled after 2+ babies anyway and now I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to compete or stealing her thunder.

I found these adorable onesies that say cousins are besties and think I'll gift two matching ones with a note and a chance to soak it in but then say 'call me!' Then I'm not sure how to tell the rest of the family and friends. Probably shirts for the kids and maybe one for me that says, if you think my hands are full you should see my heart. Hopefully it'll remind people that all babies are a blessing before they say anything less than kind.

runningyogimama · April 2018

We announced to our families over the weekend and I told my supervisor and manager yesterday. I’m short/petite and with this being baby #3, there is NO hiding it, so I’m going to start telling other people at work who I see on a daily basis, and I might post on social media next weekend (I prefer people just knowing over having to tell them/thinking I’m just getting fat, ha).

MouseMama817 · April 2018

I’m thinking of ordering onesies from Etsy that say “Hi Papa/Nana, see you in November.” For my parents. Whenever they get here is when we’ll announce to them. I’m not quite sure how to announce to the rest of the fam.

edited for grammar

mrsdrez · April 2018

We won't be announcing until after 12 weeks **TW loss** we had a loss at 6 weeks last time, and a close friend of ours just had a loss at 10.5 weeks so we just want the surprise and excitement to be for a sticky baby **end TW**. I have told my best friend for support and I'm happy I told her because she's helped me out in a few situations and I've told another friend because she's also my Naturopath. I'm trying not to even plan anything just yet because that was honestly one of the hardest part with the loss, just having plans that we weren't able to carryout.

mama1824 · April 2018

We told immediate family this last weekend. My parents caught on right away when we showed the “kids eggs” my in-laws.... not so much.... they were like what’s Bab???? Lol. We revealed via Skype with both set of parents because they live out of state and I just sent this photo to my brothers and sister in laws.

Hoping to tell close friends after we hear heartbeat Friday and get ultrasound pic. Won’t post on social media until mother’s day and I get girls shirts.

* other two eggs are my girls (Savannah - Savvy and Madelyn - Maddy)

MouseMama817 · April 2018

@mempartyof3 That’s adorable!!

So we’ve decided to announce to my parents tonight when we go to their house to celebrate my dad’s birthday. I had to sneak out for my 7pm (so weird) u/s appointment so they wouldn’t see me leave because they live right across the street and I didn’t want to come up with a fib to explain where I was going. So now I’m sitting outside the imaging center 30 minutes early and hoping they get me in and out quickly so I don’t raise any extra suspicion and ruin the surprise. So excited!!

middleschoolmommy · April 2018

I announced to my coworkers this week after seeing the heartbeat. Now they know why I've been so worn out! I told my direct team members in person, but I sent out the following text to everyone on my grade level:
"What do you guys think about the shirt I got my son?"

Image: https://img1.etsystatic.com/192/0/16090695/il_570xN.1453079703_b6bs.jpg

lurvleybunchococonuts · April 2018

In general pretty much everyone knows, my workplace I told yesterday (had told my direct boss pretty much immediately). Majority of my family found out the day we found out/or very soon there after. Only people I haven't told are friends that I don't see on a day-to-day basis. Likely will jist post on FB but wavering between doing it now and saying the hell with it even being so early. Or waiting for 1st tri to be over.

nervous0220 · April 2018

@babyptobe My husband also is looking forward to telling his work that he'll need some parental leave. We're due right in the middle of their busy season, they're already planning on requiring overtime rather than hiring proper staffing, and a b**** that he works with whose inability to correctly do her job results in chaos for my husband's department has already been dropping snarky comments about how "nobody'd better need any personal time". We're going to hold off until traditional time frames for this one.

MouseMama817 · April 2018

@nervous0220 Yikes!! That doesn't sound like it'll be a fun conversation. Is paternity leave as protected as maternal?

brookepdavis · April 2018

I finally told my sisters the other day. I was going to tell them in person this weekend, but they straight up asked me over text and I didn't want to lie, so I just told them. They're now the only two people that know other than DH and my first BMB. I don't think I'm going to tell my parents until after my first ultrasound in a few weeks. I'm trying to be sensitive to my sister because her wedding is in May and I really don't want to steal her thunder with a baby announcement at the same time. So I need to tell my parents and in-laws before the wedding, but probably no one else until after. It does feel good to tell my sisters though. They know about my loss history (my parents don't) so they're sensitive to the fact that it's very early and I'm still anxious about everything.

nervous0220 · April 2018

@MouseMama817 He can take FMLA. We're still talking about how much time he'll take. He's thinking he might take 2 weeks. I'm lucky. I have 16 weeks fully paid maternity leave, and my workplace is very good about it. If my husband worked where I worked he would get 6 weeks of fully paid parental leave, but he doesn't want to do what I do.

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