STM/Toddler thread March - Page 4 — The Bump
September 2018 Moms

STM/Toddler thread March

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Re: STM/Toddler thread March

  • DS just said his first purposeful word. Not mama, not dada, freaking “George.” As in the cartoon monkey. I see where I rank. Curious George > parents. 
    My son's first word was ball. Followed by book, up, thank you, and like one more (speech delayed, so that's all we have at 21 months). No mama or Dada yet.

    Separate question: so he's not in daycare or preschool and won't/can't be when baby arrives. I just found out that my mom won't be able to stay with me most likely, and DH has zero more paid days off this year already (stupid job, massive eye roll), he started with only 3, and got the flu the first week of January, I kid you not, and took them all. so he can take maybe 1-2 days off but we can't really afford more unpaid days. So I'm going to be at home alone recovering with a newborn and a just-over-2-year-old. 

    Has anyone else done this? Any tips? 

    I can't handle my mother-in-law for more than a day when I feel like crap, and have pretty much no other friends or family in the area, and financially it's not feasible to get paid help. 
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • edited March 2018
    @pourmeamocktail I’m so so sorry about all this crap you are going through. I have no tips because I’m in the same boat as far as this is kid #2 for me as well. Maybe have MIL come help intermittently with clear rules and expectations (preferably communicated by your husband)? Grandmothers tend to want to do the unhelpful things like hold baby and play with a toddler. Although, maybe keeping little buddy busy would be helpful, too. Could she take him on outings a couple times per week so you can get some one-on-one time with the new baby?

    ETA 

    @jhjocelyn We try to limit TV to just PBS (basically George and Daniel Tiger) and only when absolutely needed to accomplish household tasks while he plays with toys. That being said, I’m sure he still watches too much TV passively (maybe a half hour per day, tops, and the recommendations for his age are NO TV—ha!) He has a lot of George books and such that I think reinforces the idea of George. We read constantly to him, so I’m praying his language development is aided by that. His babbling has absolutely exploded this last week!
    nlc8424
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  • @Wishilivedinflorida oh goodness, not even enough to worry about then! In order to keep dd still for her chest therapy we introduced tv around 9 months, 2x a day 20+ min, if she’s sick it’s 4x a day. Then we hit food battles and the easiest way to cram in food was keeping her distracted, ssooo more screentime happened. She easily gets 4 hrs a day now, I hate admitting to it, but I do watch her development closely. In between meals and therapy it is *almost* never on, she’s well ahead of the game w academic-related stuff, and still plays independently well, so I’m crossing my fingers that we haven’t ruined her for life. It is a constant balancing act to decide what’s more important- bad habits for better cf outcomes, or work out bad habits but struggle with meals/therapy that are already hard... 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

    pourmeanothermocktailstothi
  • Thank you so much, guys! It's really good to hear from people who know someone with some kind of hearing loss because we literally know NO ONE in real life. From what DD's ENT and audiologist say, it's entirely possible that she won't need any kind of intervention and will just learn coping mechanisms (facing speakers with her 'good ear' etc). So that's interesting. 

    We and having her evaluated for speech as a precaution. I think she's basically on level with where she should be but I am staunchly in the 'better safe that sorry' camp for basically all things. Lol! We have an 'intake' appointment scheduled for this afternoon and then her evaluation will be scheduled. Should be interesting.


    We still let DD have her pacifier during nap and at night. She turned 2 at the end of December... and frankly I'm not super worried about taking it away from her. Anyone else? Any paci experience welcome!! Lol
    EErin86
  • @yankeeinthesouth Dd had her pacifier till she was 2 1/2, she had awful reflux and it helped soothe it. By that point she only used it for sleeping, she’s always spit it out once she’s fallen asleep so I wasn’t too worried. We ended it by going camping and teling her “gaga’s don’t go camping”. She asked for it once or twice when we got home but was fine when told she had grown up and didn’t need it. She automatically picked a stuffed animal as her new comfort and now has a bedfull she sleeps with though doesn’t really need. This year’s camping will be “pick one friend to come along and stay in your bed”. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

    nlc8424EErin86
  • @jhjocelyn I think that TV is a godsend for accomplishing stuff with a well kid even, and I’m sure DD will be fine. I think it’s most damaging when it’s on all day and the parent isn’t active in playing with their child. 

    We are team pacifier for sleep only, but don’t care how long that is for the time being. It does interfere with speech if it’s allowed outside of sleep times, so binkies live in the crib only!
  • When my daughter was an infant I used to WISH she would take a pacifier! She never really had any interest. But man, could she cry! For anyone who does want to transition a kid off the pacifier, my friends have had great experiences with the method where you slowly change out the pacifiers to ones that have less and less to suck on, until the kid no longer has any interest. 

    @pourmeamocktail are there any moms groups in your area? I'm a part of of a local moms group that's a "babysitting exchange"...basically it's free babysitting base on a points system, where you earn points for watching other people's kids, and can use the points to "pay" to have them watch your kid. And there's lots of playgroups and stuff too. There's a website www.sittingaround.com that you could check out...but that's really just used for the point accounting; I found the group via some local moms facebook groups. There's still time to make some mom friends who could help out during/after the birth if you find something!
  • @Wishilivedinflorida and @MandyMost Good thoughts, but likely not practical for us. MIL lives an hour away, so it's really an all day or nothing option. Maybe one day a week maximum. I live in a small town, and work 3 days per week. That only leaves two for all doctor appointments, playing with son, and still organizing our house and garage from my mom giving me literally a garage full of stuff when she left the state.

    I can't really imagine trying to fit in making mom friends good enough to take my toddler off my hands for a ton of time, or watching their kids enough that I have "credit" in it. 

    Pretty sure my only real option is figuring out how to manage on my own. Which is a little scary, but not terrifying. It just didn't occur to me until I was reading threads from all of you that so many people are going to be able to have your toddler in daycare or pre school, or have family/friend help. I do wish my husband's job didn't suck so bad on the PTO front, but, at least he's got a decent steady job.
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @pourmeamocktail  Does hildbirth count for FMLA time for your DH? It wouldn’t be paid, but would protect his job and let him help out a little longer if you find recovery tricky?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

  • jhjocelyn said:
    @pourmeamocktail  Does hildbirth count for FMLA time for your DH? It wouldn’t be paid, but would protect his job and let him help out a little longer if you find recovery tricky?
    He won't have had the job for a full year, and considering we just bought a house, I'll be transitioning to a full time SAHM, and we need to get a new car...not only will he not qualify, but we couldn't afford it if he did.

    He could probably take a full week off unpaid, but we probably can't really afford that. Maybe a day or two. But one for labor/birth, and one for the first day. Hoping that I go into labor and deliver on a Friday. 
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    jhjocelyn
  • @pourmeamocktail. Gotcha, I figured it was worth mentioning just in case!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

    pourmeanothermocktail
  • @pourmeamocktail I don’t have any specific advice, but it can be done!  My mom did it with my brother and I. We’re 18 months apart and we lived on the other side of the country from all our family. My dad was working 80-90 hour weeks at the time. We all survived. 
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • Oh my goodness @stothi I think I would have had the same reaction. Haha your kid is becoming master of stalling bedtime ;).

    stothi
  • HAHAHA. Smart kid @stothi!
    _______________________________________________________________________________________________
    MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
    DS born 9/13/16
    BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
    nlc8424stothi
  • @yankeeinthesouth my son actually turned two a few months ago also and we JUST ditched the pacifier last week! He was using for sleeping and napping only (but not using for naps at daycare), we’d broken the daytime use about 10 months ago. 
    He had two in his crib with him and when he woke from nap he had chewed a hole in one. I asked him to throw it away in the garbage since it was wrecked, he did happily (loves throwing stuff away himself!) Then that night he just had the one and we said that’s your only one left! Sure enough he chewed a hole in it that night so the next morning he told ME it was garbage. He threw it out. A couple days worth of begging for it at nap and bed followed by us reminding him they were in the garbage and that big brothers don’t use soothers, and after about 3 days it was a non issue! He only cried for longest of about 25 mins the first night. 
    The opportunity presented itself and we used it, bye bye soothers! I think he really helped he threw them away himself. 
    pourmeanothermocktailnackieEErin86
  • @Patience7150 fingers crossed everything stays well for your daughter! That's a lot for a kid to have to go through but it sounds like this time might do the trick.  <3
    nlc8424Patience7150
  • @Patience7150 Crossing fingers for you and yours. Participate as much or as little as you need to. 
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Patience7150
  • @Patience7150 I'm so sorry that you all had to go through that again, how miserable. Will keep my fingers crossed that this works permanently and your DD feels better!

    Patience7150
  • DD (18 months old) will drink water out of any cup I give her, but not milk. She won't give up her bottle and she has only had one for three months (I nursed until I got pregnant and was not able to anymore). How can I get her to drink milk from a cup?
  • And count me in for not sure if I should keep DD in her crib or transition to a toddler bed. She has not tried to climb out yet so I don't think she is ready, but come September when she is 2 and may be more ready, I feel like I will be so busy/tired with the new little one, I won't have energy to transition her. 
  • DD (18 months old) will drink water out of any cup I give her, but not milk. She won't give up her bottle and she has only had one for three months (I nursed until I got pregnant and was not able to anymore). How can I get her to drink milk from a cup?
    We started watering down the milk/formula in the bottle until it was unappealing to him.
    Can you try watering down the bottle and offering the good stuff in a cup and see if that works?
    Car0liiinepourmeanothermocktailmrsman2018
  • @Patience7150 I’m sorry your DD had to go through that but hoping for better outcomes this time!
    Patience7150
  • @Patience7150 I hope this one fixes the issue. It’s no fun dealing with sick kids and even worse when you think you already fixed the problem and that fix isn’t working. Hoping she is feeling great very soon.
    nlc8424
  • @fwtx5815 that's great! I don't think we're too close yet, going to be 2 in June, but I'll definitely ask when I'm ready!

    fwtx5815
  • @mrsman2018 one of the moms in my previous BMB is a sleep consultant and strongly advises against transitioning to a toddler bed until they are ready. So personally, I would wait.

    As for the bottles, if they are eating a well balanced diet and getting enough fluids, they can go without milk for a few days (probably longer but I’m not a pediatrician and don’t want to give medical advice). Hide the bottles, offer water and maybe milk in a cup, and after a few days hopefully your kid will forget about the bottle. That was the only thing that worked for our kid. She eats a lot of cheese so as long as she was hydrated I wasn’t worried.
    nlc8424pourmeanothermocktailmrsman2018
  • @jhjocelyn we LOVE our white noise machine and actually kind of have double. One in the room and a tower fan outside the door to drown out noises from the kitchen/living room and my dogs. Also, my kid is starting to ask for juice more often than milk and I've gotta cut him back.  FWIW, I do always dilute his juice half and half with water, but I need to dilute it more so he will drink water better.

    mrsman2018
  • @nlc8424
    Yea I gave up worrying a long time ago and just chuckle at my pre-parent ideals.

    I would actually LOVE if she would drink juice! Because of the cf she sweats out a lot of extra soduim(fun fact, kissing her tastes like a day bythe ocean). Which is where gatorade over juice came in, but for a while she stopped drinking anything but milk and water, so on hot days it was hard to get in the extra salt. Now she will drink unflavored pedialyte (“salty water”), or water... we tried clear gatorade and she was all excited, then didn’t touch it once it was in her cup(resulting in not enough miralax yesterday and extra miralax today *eyeroll*). Unflavored pedialyte, even the knock off brands are expensive! Powdered gatorade is cheap! Please kid, drink the cheap stuff! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

    nlc8424EErin86stothipourmeanothermocktail
  • My daughter disliked all types of milk after a while. To get her off the bottle, I did a sort of in between sippy from Tommy tippee because the bulk of it was shaped the same as her bottle. Then after that, my MIL started taking her shopping for all sorts of fun cups with silly straws and her favorite characters etc. Anything she thought was fun we went with, even if it was messy. Love the 99 cent party cups you can get at cvs/target btw. By 2 the only milk she would drink was flavored milk. Instead of a ton of that I started giving her calcium enriched orange juice and pushing cheese as snacks. It's probably not doctor recommended but i figure shes getting calcium and vitamin d.
    mrsman2018
  • Does anyone have/use the vtech monitor? I’m loving the talk back feature but completey confused in the actual monitoring... is is supposed to fade out and then only kick on when she makes additional noise other than the noisemaker?? ...I think that is what it is doing? But, my brain is seriously having trouble not hearing the white noise to know it is working...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

  • My LO went through a long phase where she would not drink anything out of any container except breastmilk straight from the tap. Not even all my frozen milk which I still don't have the heart to throw out even though it's all over a year old. Not even fresh pumped bm. WCM? Chocolate milk? Water? Strawberry milk? Juice - maybe. 
    So it was at the point where she was dehydrated and still refusing anything so we started pushing juice mixed with water, usually had to be a little more juice than water. We still offer water and milk frequently but she rarely takes more than a sip. Now she is finally drinking more than 8 oz every day, but now we have a juice addict. 
    Pre-child me would be judging so hard. I had planned to never even give her juice. She drank a few sips of cow's milk yesterday and I could've cried. She's almost as picky with food, god help us.
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cdfa8" alt=" IAmPregnant Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

  • @jhjocelyn That’s weird. I have the Vtech Safe and Sound and you can always hear the white noise machine. We turn it down to a really low volume so it doesn’t keep us up. Which one do you have? 

    DS is going through some sort of sleep regression/separation anxiety thing. At first it was protesting when put to bed, so we are re-Ferbering a bit. But now he’s also waking up hysterical at night and can’t be consoled for a while. So much for my unicorn sleeper. 
  • @Wishilivedinflorida my guy gets nightmares and you have to wake him up before you can get him comforted and back to sleep. Sometimes I literally have to shout at him over the scream crying, "hey! Hey! Wake up and look at mama! Look at mama!" Once he wakes up for a second, he almost immediately just slumps over and goes back to sleep. Or we turn the light on for just a minute to wake him up or we step outside for a minute to snap him out of the crying cycle.  Obviously if it's diaper, hunger or teeth those things don't work, but that's what we do for nightmares. Just holding him or rocking him doesn't do it. We have to "snap him out of it" first. 
    EErin86
  • @pourmeamocktail  I’m sure that this is not what you want to hear, but unfortunately, if you do wind up with a repeat C-section, you’re going to have to suck it up and accept your mother-in-law‘s help. Actually, you’re going to have to think her for doing it because you will need the help.  I hope that you were able to have the VBAC that you want but given the circumstances, I don’t see any other choice than to arrange for a back up plan involving your mother-in-law. 

     Having had  The experience myself does not make me an expert, but I can tell you that there is no way I would’ve been able to do it without some help most of the day at the very beginning.
    fwtx5815
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