@BostonBaby1 If I end up with a c section, agreed, I will have to. but I will likely end up in a fight with her most days-speaking out of experience with the last section. Unfortunately she is only available like 1, maybe 2 days a week anyway...so still don't have a clue what I would do. We'd have to get my son in a big boy bed, at least for naps, no matter what if I had another section. Luckily, chances of that should be super low.
Call every single person I know in tears and beg them to take care of my toddler during the day? That's pretty much all I have. Or my husband takes two weeks of leave, but then we would literally have to borrow our mortgage payment from someone...
Not to mention the therapy. After last time, I can't comprehend having surgery ever again.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@BostonBaby1 If I end up with a c section, agreed, I will have to. but I will likely end up in a fight with her most days-speaking out of experience with the last section. Unfortunately she is only available like 1, maybe 2 days a week anyway...so still don't have a clue what I would do. We'd have to get my son in a big boy bed, at least for naps, no matter what if I had another section. Luckily, chances of that should be super low.
Call every single person I know in tears and beg them to take care of my toddler during the day? That's pretty much all I have. Or my husband takes two weeks of leave, but then we would literally have to borrow our mortgage payment from someone...
Not to mention the therapy. After last time, I can't comprehend having surgery ever again.
So I really think that you can manage pretty well as long as you’re not trying to pick him up out of the crib. You might not have to transition to a bed but naptime could be in bed with you. You don’t pick up from the floor. You sit on the couch and let them come to you to climb up. There are definitely ways to get around it. Believe me, if you need the tips and tricks, I will be happy to help you crossing that bridge when we get to it. But I was thinking you would need your mother-in-law for a couple days to watch DS in the unlikely event that you have a RCS. I wanted to have a VBaC but I did not progressed past a fingertip and they would not induced at that. The safer option for me was to go ahead with the RCS. I did not have my pain controlled well in the 12 hours post surgery but that’s because my epidural had fallen out and I cannot take oral pain medications. So I was behind the eight ball. But after catching up which took about 48 hours, I didn’t find the second section to be any more difficult than the first. I had a scheduled c with DS and I do think that they can often go much smoother. I was surprised at how much easier it seemed the second time around. I don’t think I was actually feeling better physically but, I didn’t have time to consider that. I know that sounds strange but I was so pulled in different directions that thinking about myself and how my recovery was going was last on my list. I suppose it went fine though. Because I was normal walking around again. Only I would say it took about two weeks longer to get back to the same point. I was quite happy with that considering the fact that my then 14-month-old did not walk at all yet. As I said, I’m happy to help. I’m most likely going to have another RCS because my hospital does not do VBaC following 2 sections and being 40. I know that there are hospitals that do, but I love my hospital and I love my OB and the experiences that I had there were excellent. I trust them and will go with them. My desire to stay within the current network is greater than my desire for a VBAC. So I am doing this again. Only this time I will have a 2 year old and a 12 month old assuming I make it to due date. It can be done. We will get through it together.
I put together dd’s easter eggs during her nap... forgot a basket, we have no baskets of any kind, apparently I’ve regifted them... looks like we’ll be gathering eggs with a pail... so much for thte adorable photo ops.
Pregnant brain strikes again!
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@BostonBaby1 I appreciate your offer, I'm sure I'll look for tips and tricks-but his crib has him on the mattress on the floor, and he literally won't sleep with me anymore. I tried when he was sick even, for a little guy that didn't sleep in the crib until he was over a year old....he's way too attached to it. And the stinker can only make it onto the couch like half of the time...plus there's a flight of stairs between our kitchen and living room. Luckily he can make it up and down those, but another surgery would make it so so hard to even get to the couch.
I was only a section due to breech. I only had 3 weeks to find a doctor before I went into labor, couldn't find a supportive one to turn or let me deliver. If he hadn't been a preemie I may have convinced someone to try to turn him or I may have tried to deliver without a doctor, but preemie.
He was descended most of the way when they yanked him out-so I'm pretty hopeful this time. I have a great home birth midwife, so fingers crossed!
I could barely walk for months after last time, and bled for nearly 2.5 months after. It was really very bad-and apparently I can't use epidural or spinals. So general it would be. Trying to avoid that at nearly all costs...I'd really like to meet this baby before my mom does. And in less than 8 hours after birth.
The things I didn't know I had to hope for.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I put together dd’s easter eggs during her nap... forgot a basket, we have no baskets of any kind, apparently I’ve regifted them... looks like we’ll be gathering eggs with a pail... so much for thte adorable photo ops.
Pregnant brain strikes again!
*Stuck in a box*
We'll be using a Halloween bucket. *Shrugs* At least it's still holiday themed?
@pourmeamocktail Maybe between now and baby time you can work hard to tuck away as much money as possible and do some research on babysitters? If you could hire a "mother's helper" to come every now and then it might take a lot of the stress off of your shoulders. Usually you would not pay them as much as a regular babysitter since you are home the whole time. (Maybe like $5/hr?) But they can help keep your tot fed watered and occupied for a few hours. Just an idea. You'll figure it out one way or another, because that's what parents do.
@pourmeamocktail Maybe between now and baby time you can work hard to tuck away as much money as possible and do some research on babysitters? If you could hire a "mother's helper" to come every now and then it might take a lot of the stress off of your shoulders. Usually you would not pay them as much as a regular babysitter since you are home the whole time. (Maybe like $5/hr?) But they can help keep your tot fed watered and occupied for a few hours. Just an idea. You'll figure it out one way or another, because that's what parents do.
I love the idea, but we already have to figure out a way to lose all of my income long term, plus buy a new car. Hiring help is just not in the cards.
I mean, we'll figure out something if need be, but there really isn't a good or easy solution.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeamocktail I am so glad that you’re in a better place than you were last pregnancy, but, it seems like you still have the same objections to every suggestion coming your way. This happened last time with housing. I’m not going to keep on giving suggestions because without doubt there will always be an objection. You will work it out though. The same way that you worked out last time. I’m sending you the best of luck but I’m going to have to bow out of the conversation. I don’t have the time or energy.
Ok so this is really bizarre. Last night, H and I took DS to get his haircut and right after we went to the grocery store that has prepared food (subs to order, pizza, Chinese, etc). We ate dinner there and I had my H go buy some oreos so I can make dirt and worms for my in-laws house today and while he was gone, DS wanted to get down to walk around. So I get him cleaned up and throw out our trash and he starts to follow this older female employee who's cleaning tables in the cafe area. He then goes right up to her while she's cleaning and lifts his arms and says "Up!", and I tried to discourage him from doing this and going to play instead but he wanted nothing to do with it. Sure enough, the woman put down her stuff and picked him up and held him for a few minutes until my H showed back up, he then threw a fit when we had to go. No idea who he thought she was but it was really strange and incredibly sweet.
Also, he is officially too big to fit in their high chairs so he had to sit in a booster seat. This made me almost cry right then and there lol.
@nlc8424 I think some people just have the right baby safe aura. I think I have it cause I can go anywhere, anytime it seems and someone will just hand me a baby. Even before I had one of my own. I've had so many kids just walk up to me and want to cuddle. I remember being at a party and this little girl's mom was across the room on the other side of the crowd and the little obviously didn't feel comfortable pushing through all the people to get to mom. She looked around, saw me (for the first time) and came over and crawled up into my lap. Her Mom saw and her eyes got real big, but then she just smiled this confused little smile. A few minutes later she came over and told me how just astounded she was because her child is so shy and never talks to anyone let alone let's them touch her. Similar thing happens at weddings a lot. Random crying baby, parent needs extra set of hands, I offer to hold, they say "my baby won't let other people hold them," baby turns and reaches for me, crying stops, parents are amazed. Random lady in clothing store hands me baby and a bottle so she can go try on clothes, my husband walks up and wonders how in the heck do I end up with a baby every time he turns his back for a second!? The only baby my magic doesn't work on is my own, lol! Right? Cause why would it?
I love checking in on this thread since we apparently cut out the toddler talk on the randoms thread. Some of the stories over here made me smile today! I love reading about your little ones and the things currently happening. Especially because one day mine will be at that stage and I want to remember some of the recommendations other moms have made.
Little buddy had his last bottle yesterday morning. We quit cold turkey...formula and bottles all at once. He’s amazing. Granted, sippy cups are basically bottles with a different shaped spout, but he’s onto all milk (which is cheap!) and more in charge of his own thirst.
I also may have taken a picture of my last frozen bag of BM that I thawed for him last week. It was an oddly sad feeling. I’m so thankful I had enough stash to give him a bottle of BM each day until he was one.
Plus 1 for the last bottle - I just decided that today was the day. DD is 18 months old and has only had a bottle for 3 months and she did pretty well! The first two cups of milk I gave she only drank a small amount, but her nighttime cup, she did great.
I feel like a super mean mom right now One of Buddy's (many, many) bedtime stall tactics is to throw his blanket, pillow and loveys out of the crib and then ask for them back. I've been saying lately that I'll only give them back one time and then no more. I decided even that's too much game playing and tonight warned him before he threw them and then each time he threw something that I would not give anything he threw back. Not even one time. Well, he threw out every single thing and I didn't give anything back. Now he's rolling around his empty crib really sad and I feel like a monster. But I did the right thing, right? I very clearly told him that I wouldn't pick up his stuff if he threw it, which means that I had to follow through and not pick it up. I told him he could have everything back tomorrow. I just feel really bad. I don't normally feel bad enforcing rules/what I said, but I feel so so bad about this What would you all do?
Eta: maybe 10 minutes after I posted this, he started sobbing hysterically that he needed his blanket. I went back in and said if he was ready to lie and go to sleep that I would put the blanket on him one time. He went straight down with no fuss and finally went the f to sleep. I did not give back his pillow or any of the loveys, just the blanket cause he was using his genuinely distressed hysterical cry and not his just loud/angry/frustrated/I'm 2 and I cry about stuff cry. I can't ignore his genuinely distressed or in pain cry. I feel like I'm not really supposed to.
So now I don't now how I feel. I feel less like a monster since I caved and gave back the blanket, but feel... Frustration? Failure? I don't know what exactly, that I didn't stick to a firm no on everything. Ugh. Parenting is hard
@stothi that's a tough call. I'd like to say if it were me I would have stuck my guns and said "too bad kid, you knew what the consequence was (and presumably understood what you said), and you made your choice so now you deal". But, it's been *knocking on ALL the wood* a long time since my son has cried hard before falling asleep. So I'm not sure that I would have followed through. I think the best thing you can do is talk about it a lot during the day, "buddy you really need to sleep at night because it makes us feel better, let's us grow strong, helps us play, and if you don't want to sleep with a blanket it's okay, but once mom leaves the room she goes to sleep too" kind of thing. Toddlers are so meant to test boundaries constantly, so if this happens again I would highly consider ignoring it since it seems like a tactic to get you back in his room. Just my 2 cents, but I could be more tough love than you like!
ETA: I'm sorry if you were just looking for some sympathy since I should have started with that first. Yes, parenting is really hard and especially so when you're by yourself and having to call all the shots without any reinforcement from your husband. Plusalso, I'm sure that last night didnt ruin your little one either way and you did what you needed to do based on your gut .
@stothi I probably would have caved too. That hysterical crying is tough. And then felt bad about caving. We’re working really hard on doing what we say over here, whether it’s good or bad (so if we say he can have a cookie after daycare, he gets a cookie after daycare even if it seems like he might have forgotten)
Oh no @stothi that hard crying is the worst. Granted my DS doesn’t talk yet, but we generally let him work through his more “whiney” cries himself while going to sleep...but that hysterical/pain cry just can’t be ignored. I would have done the same thing you did. Hopefully he got two good messages: that his antics won’t be bought into, but that mommy still loves him and cares.
@stothi I think you did the right thing. I mean tech. you caved but you also got the message across. Parenting IS hard! There is this series on FB, with this wonderful woman (I don't remember her name) who acknowledges how hard this stuff can be. It's awesome and when I feel like a monster sometimes I look up one of her videos. Don't know why, but this made me think about it.
@stothi - You did partially stick to it so be proud of yourself for that. Clearly he really wanted his blanket to fall asleep so it seems like you did the right thing. Maybe he'll realize that he's not getting everything back so if he wants it he needs to not throw it.
If he keeps up with it, then you might have to stick to not even giving the blanket back, but I wouldn't worry about whether it was the right or wrong thing to do for 1 night since he was so upset!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
@nlc8424 I actually wanted advice so, you were on target. Sympathy is nice too Cause dang it all, parenting is hard!
Thank you everyone. Buddy stayed asleep all night after he fell asleep so I feel pretty strongly at this point giving the blanket back was the right move. The tentative plan for tonight is to remind him before even going to his room that if he throws stuff, he doesn't get it back, remind him again once he's in the crib and then if he throws it, I will go back in his room, once, if he cries, but only to really quickly say, "you threw the blanket so you can't have it tonight. You can have it back tomorrow. I love you. Good night." Then if it happens again the next night move to not giving the blanket back AND not going back in to talk about it. Even if he cries I think for me it's the easiest to stick to being a hard ass if I do one step at a time. Like, I feel less guilty if I feel like I didn't just spring something on the kid. But I'm gonna live in the land of hope today that maybe, just maybe, not giving his loveys and pillow back was enough to get the message across. A girl can dream!
Well, it worked for tonight! I reminded buddy during his bath before bed that if he wanted to keep his things, he shouldn't throw them and that I wouldn't give them back if he did. I reminded him again just before I put him in the crib. Once in the crib I told him that I was going to bed and if he needed a hug and a kiss that he needed to get it now because I wasn't coming back in. He fought sleep for "only" an hour and a half, didn't throw anything and didn't cry for me to come back (other than briefly asking for me to come back and put the blanket on him, but he didn't use his distressed voice so I didn't go in.) That was the most successful bedtime we've had in almost 2 months!!! Normally he'd have fought sleep for another hour or more Now I'm really worried that he's sick or something cause I didn't do anything all that different from normal...
Well Lady hasn't taken a nap at all for close to 2 weeks now. I'm thinking this isn't a sleep regression and I'm just one of the unlucky parents whose kid stops napping at 1 year old. This is not working well because my 30-year-old self has not given up naps. And I don't plan to. I've been putting her in her PnP for about an hour of quiet time unless she's really screaming for me before then. But that's not giving me enough time to meet my nap quota, lol. I just get soooo sleepy. And now I'm really scared about how little sleep I'm going to get when this baby comes. I might just need my mom to come over every day for my naptime or something! But good news this week is that at 20 months old, Lady is finally drinking cow's milk!!! She hasn't had juice in 3 days! Yay!
@Car0liiine that’s terrible! I wouldn’t be able to survive without my weekend naps. Maybe it’s just a really long phase? I feeling like we had a lot of trouble with sleeping for a few months before DS turned 2.
On a completely unrelated note, has anyone found any good toddler books about becoming a big brother/sister or having a new baby in the house? DS seems to be have some trouble understanding the idea and he loves to read so I thought some books might help. But I haven’t loved the few I’ve tried so far.
Its ok. But then again, DS is only 12 months. It was more of a cute thing than something he “gets.” It’s pretty simple, so he will at least sit through the whole thing.
We like the Daniel tiger one (Big Brother Daniel). There are also a couple episodes that address prepping for a baby, the baby’s arrival, and changes at home with a new baby.
Re: STM/Toddler thread March
Call every single person I know in tears and beg them to take care of my toddler during the day? That's pretty much all I have. Or my husband takes two weeks of leave, but then we would literally have to borrow our mortgage payment from someone...
Not to mention the therapy. After last time, I can't comprehend having surgery ever again.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I put together dd’s easter eggs during her nap... forgot a basket, we have no baskets of any kind, apparently I’ve regifted them... looks like we’ll be gathering eggs with a pail... so much for thte adorable photo ops.
Pregnant brain strikes again!
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
I was only a section due to breech. I only had 3 weeks to find a doctor before I went into labor, couldn't find a supportive one to turn or let me deliver. If he hadn't been a preemie I may have convinced someone to try to turn him or I may have tried to deliver without a doctor, but preemie.
He was descended most of the way when they yanked him out-so I'm pretty hopeful this time. I have a great home birth midwife, so fingers crossed!
I could barely walk for months after last time, and bled for nearly 2.5 months after. It was really very bad-and apparently I can't use epidural or spinals. So general it would be. Trying to avoid that at nearly all costs...I'd really like to meet this baby before my mom does. And in less than 8 hours after birth.
The things I didn't know I had to hope for.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I mean, we'll figure out something if need be, but there really isn't a good or easy solution.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Also, he is officially too big to fit in their high chairs so he had to sit in a booster seat. This made me almost cry right then and there lol.
I've had so many kids just walk up to me and want to cuddle. I remember being at a party and this little girl's mom was across the room on the other side of the crowd and the little obviously didn't feel comfortable pushing through all the people to get to mom. She looked around, saw me (for the first time) and came over and crawled up into my lap. Her Mom saw and her eyes got real big, but then she just smiled this confused little smile. A few minutes later she came over and told me how just astounded she was because her child is so shy and never talks to anyone let alone let's them touch her. Similar thing happens at weddings a lot. Random crying baby, parent needs extra set of hands, I offer to hold, they say "my baby won't let other people hold them," baby turns and reaches for me, crying stops, parents are amazed. Random lady in clothing store hands me baby and a bottle so she can go try on clothes, my husband walks up and wonders how in the heck do I end up with a baby every time he turns his back for a second!?
The only baby my magic doesn't work on is my own, lol! Right? Cause why would it?
I also may have taken a picture of my last frozen bag of BM that I thawed for him last week.
One of Buddy's (many, many) bedtime stall tactics is to throw his blanket, pillow and loveys out of the crib and then ask for them back. I've been saying lately that I'll only give them back one time and then no more. I decided even that's too much game playing and tonight warned him before he threw them and then each time he threw something that I would not give anything he threw back. Not even one time. Well, he threw out every single thing and I didn't give anything back. Now he's rolling around his empty crib really sad and I feel like a monster. But I did the right thing, right? I very clearly told him that I wouldn't pick up his stuff if he threw it, which means that I had to follow through and not pick it up. I told him he could have everything back tomorrow. I just feel really bad. I don't normally feel bad enforcing rules/what I said, but I feel so so bad about this
What would you all do?
Eta: maybe 10 minutes after I posted this, he started sobbing hysterically that he needed his blanket. I went back in and said if he was ready to lie and go to sleep that I would put the blanket on him one time. He went straight down with no fuss and finally went the f to sleep. I did not give back his pillow or any of the loveys, just the blanket cause he was using his genuinely distressed hysterical cry and not his just loud/angry/frustrated/I'm 2 and I cry about stuff cry. I can't ignore his genuinely distressed or in pain cry. I feel like I'm not really supposed to.
So now I don't now how I feel. I feel less like a monster since I caved and gave back the blanket, but feel... Frustration? Failure? I don't know what exactly, that I didn't stick to a firm no on everything. Ugh. Parenting is hard
ETA: I'm sorry if you were just looking for some sympathy since I should have started with that first. Yes, parenting is really hard and especially so when you're by yourself and having to call all the shots without any reinforcement from your husband. Plusalso, I'm sure that last night didnt ruin your little one either way and you did what you needed to do based on your gut
If he keeps up with it, then you might have to stick to not even giving the blanket back, but I wouldn't worry about whether it was the right or wrong thing to do for 1 night since he was so upset!
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
Thank you everyone. Buddy stayed asleep all night after he fell asleep so I feel pretty strongly at this point giving the blanket back was the right move. The tentative plan for tonight is to remind him before even going to his room that if he throws stuff, he doesn't get it back, remind him again once he's in the crib and then if he throws it, I will go back in his room, once, if he cries, but only to really quickly say, "you threw the blanket so you can't have it tonight. You can have it back tomorrow. I love you. Good night." Then if it happens again the next night move to not giving the blanket back AND not going back in to talk about it. Even if he cries
I think for me it's the easiest to stick to being a hard ass if I do one step at a time. Like, I feel less guilty if I feel like I didn't just spring something on the kid. But I'm gonna live in the land of hope today that maybe, just maybe, not giving his loveys and pillow back was enough to get the message across. A girl can dream!
That was the most successful bedtime we've had in almost 2 months!!! Normally he'd have fought sleep for another hour or more
Now I'm really worried that he's sick or something cause I didn't do anything all that different from normal...
This is not working well because my 30-year-old self has not given up naps. And I don't plan to. I've been putting her in her PnP for about an hour of quiet time unless she's really screaming for me before then. But that's not giving me enough time to meet my nap quota, lol. I just get soooo sleepy. And now I'm really scared about how little sleep I'm going to get when this baby comes. I might just need my mom to come over every day for my naptime or something!
But good news this week is that at 20 months old, Lady is finally drinking cow's milk!!! She hasn't had juice in 3 days! Yay!
On a completely unrelated note, has anyone found any good toddler books about becoming a big brother/sister or having a new baby in the house? DS seems to be have some trouble understanding the idea and he loves to read so I thought some books might help. But I haven’t loved the few I’ve tried so far.
https://www.amazon.com/Big-Brother-Caroline-Jayne-Church/dp/0545688868
Its ok. But then again, DS is only 12 months. It was more of a cute thing than something he “gets.” It’s pretty simple, so he will at least sit through the whole thing.