TTCAL week of 3/26

eleven_ · March 2018

@KristoKekerooni Heating pad? Ibuprofen? Chocolate? I'm sorry you are so miserable

Are you home or are you having to work?

ChloandCoco · March 2018

@KristoKekerooni My doctor gave me a prescription for T3s, but if you don’t want to take that I ended up using extra strength Tylenol and ibuprofen. I would alternate, in order to be able to take more throughout the day. Also a hot water bottle or heating pad will help.
The pain will go away once everything passes.

KristoKekerooni · March 2018

I am at work, which makes it more difficult. I've been trying a heating pad and Tylenol, but I'll add in some ibuprofen. I think I need to increase the dose anyway. I never take more than ~ 250 mg, so maybe I just need to be a little better. Ugh.

Thanks, friends.

eleven_ · March 2018

@KristoKekerooni I take 800 mg of Ibuprofen when I'm having cramps and it's a lifesaver. I swear Tylenol does nothing.

KristoKekerooni · March 2018

Ahhh. Okay. I will try that, then. Thanks, @eleven_

lin0442 · March 2018

*TW- birth mentioned*
I don’t know if this will be encouraging for people, but a close friend of MH’s just had her rainbow yesterday. She’s been trying for years and has had multiple losses, both early and later, and is in her early 40’s. Things can end well for people like her, and it can end well for people like us, too. *end TW*

I’ve felt really down and bitter about TTCAL lately, but seeing someone who’s really struggled finally get what she was dreaming of made me feel a little more hopeful that I can make it through, too. Hopefully we all do, with as little pain as possible along the way.

prpl11butterfly · March 2018

@KristoKekerooni if you can get your doc to write you an RX for 800mg ibuprofen it will last longer. 1 big pill takes longer to dissolve then 4 little bills.

dragonette505 · March 2018

Its been a crazy week, and I'm super behind! So here goes!!!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 losses

Status: WFAF then FET

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Stressing a bit as my thyroid is not where they want it to be for transfer

Any testing coming up/any recent results? blood work and ultrasound with AF as well as frequent blood work for my thyroid (if my thyroid doesn't get its shit together, my fet will be cancelled, so its been days of blood work and back and forth with my docs and generally being angry/frustrated/bitter that my body cant get it together, but also trying to remember that my body is doing its best for me)

GTKY: Do you have any fun summer plans? planning to tag along on my husbands business trip to vegas in early june. In late june taking a sisters trip to Italy to celebrate my little sisters bday and then popping over to Austria to see the in laws.

prpl11butterfly I hear you... the camping sounds lovely, but not if it would be triggering!
lin0442 vegas!! I'll be there after you!
ChloandCoco yay for Hawaii and boo for that assistant calling out sizes... like whats the point of that? Ive been a bridesmaid a few times and that never happened, even in a busy store!
dpjennifer OMG food and wine festival sounds like my kind of festival!!!
eleven_ ugh... so sorry for the BFN's.... early testing can be rough

zamora_spin UGH... also sorry for the BFN's.... Ive had the past few years of no fun trips because of IVF
Kabazaba MLM.... I just tell my friends I don't buy from them... if they drag you make it clear you will go but NOT buy anything. I haven't been invited in years, but I still spend quality time with my friends.
holly321 hope you plan some good distractions for your DD week

kindbytealikat so glad your bday was good!!
lokibear89 Ive always wanted to go to Fiji!
KristoKekerooni I'm so so heartbroken for you... no words... just sending hugs
Kath525 yay! come to NYC (its where I live)
diaphena the beach is so restoratative... I found it to be a good way to help recover.
coco2787 ugh.... I honestly sometimes try to hide in the bathroom on the days the ladies on maternity leave come by to show off the babies

PS...hope your bday was grand!
grebretso So nice you will be taking your inlaws on holiday home.
CraftyG so glad the dinner worked out... what had you nervous about it?
galactickates Id LOVE to see Yellowstone! Ugh... just got a little hitch in my heart because my hubs always says how hed love to take "our family" there

waaaaaaa.... sigh sorry... these fet hormones got me all jacked up! lol
nmbrcrnchr1 sending hugs... that first AF can be a doozy... it just all

dpjennifer · March 2018

lin0442 FWIW, I used to find stories like that encouraging, back when I was 1 or 2 MC in. Back when my OB used to encouragingly tell me "I've seen lots of people have 1/2/3 MC and have success next time." Back before I had a crap-ton of testing done at the REs and they've no idea what's wrong with me. Now, although the people I'm most happy for having a baby are those who have had multiple MCs and/or IF struggles, I'm still bitter. Because even though (supposedly) 60-70% of unexplained RPL sufferers go on to eventually have a baby... there's a huge percentage of women who never end of with a rainbow. I personally know several women who had RPL and went on to have their rainbows, not to mention the stories on here from people I've known over the years. However, statistics have not been in my favor at any point on this journey, and since someone is going to be the depressed childless person represented by the low end of the statistics, and we're about 9 months from pulling the plug on our personal TTCAL journey... every joyful story of someone who eventually 'made it' makes me feel like I am closer and closer to being the one who will be screwed and never get my happy ending.

lin0442 · March 2018

@dpjennifer I’m genuinely sorry that all of this has been so awful for you, I really am. I understand what you mean about the statistics- they’ve bit me in a different way, but I get the fear and anger around them, the feeling that you’ll be the person stuck on the bad side with no answers and a bunch of doctors just shrugging over it and moving on to ‘easier’ patients. Hopefully wherever this journey takes you (or any of us) that you find some amount of comfort and peace. I’m sorry this is all so unfair.

ChloandCoco · March 2018

@lin0442 Those stories used to give me hope, especially after my first and second loss. But reading that on the day I got another BFN (and I will probably be bench for the next 4 months, and we might even stop TFAS), does not help my with my bitterness.I find ZERO comfort in hearing them.
It's kind of like the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You", the ladies all tell stories of how a woman stayed with her boyfriend for X number of years and he finally proposes. Those ladies are the exception, not the rule.
So, it's just like what @dpjennifer said, with RPL, even though the stats should be in our favor, there are still a lot of women who never end up with their rainbow.

eleven_ · March 2018

Reading about other women who get their rainbows makes me feel so happy for them. I follow a lot of women on IG who are struggling with RPL and when they finally get their rainbows, I cry with joy for them. It does not give me hope for myself though.

zamoraspin · March 2018

@KristoKekerooni I had the worst pain during my first AF after my D&C. I hadn't taken it in forever, but Midol was the only thing that touched the pain. I also drank Red Raspberry Leaf tea, don't know if it helped but between that and the Midol I stopped doubling over in pain. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

holly321 · March 2018

@dragonette505, is this a new thyroid issue, an ongoing problem? If they unfortunately can not get it where it needs to be, is there a plan in place for next time? Good luck to you.

AFM, it is CD1. It is hitting me harder than I expected, I think I was holding on to more hope than I realized.

Kabazaba · March 2018

Ugh.. sorry I am so slow at responding this week. Crazy work week, per usual, and feeling slightly under the weather, so I've been either in the office or in bed. Starting to feel better though so hoping I can catch up some.

@holly321 - So glad you and DH are in a relaxed place about TTC and feeling OK about where you are in the process!

@kindbytealikat - I will work on saying no to people. I don't have fun at them or enjoy them, I just feel easily guilted into it I guess. FX for FIL's surgery tomorrow. Also, as a displaced Texan, I highly recommend visiting in early May and avoiding visiting in August at all costs. My dad's ranch has already had several 90+ days this year, and we're only about a week into spring.

@lokibear89 - Fiji sounds amazing! I just Google-imaged Rarotonga and that also looks incredible. I feel like you must be in Australia though I don't know that for sure? Apologies if you aren't, and you've said, and I'm just making an ass of myself. ANYWAY, whether you are or aren't, I only bring it up because I am obsessed with Australia despite having never visited (yet!) - or, at least, obsessed with Australian accents, TV shows, and movies.

@kristokekerooni - I am so sorry for your loss and your long journey. I am also so sorry that these losses are so painful - emotionally and physically. Agree with PP upping to 800 mg ibuprofen, from the doc if possible, and heating pad. If it's any comfort, the blood associated with my MC was horrible but short-lived, and stopped hurting

@kath525 - Sorry you're still waiting to O - hope your doc supports beginning testing so you can start getting some answers. And, I hope you have a happy Easter

@diaphena - Glad you're feeling more like yourself, it's such a roller coaster on any given day (for me, anyway). I'm glad you're taking your time to decide what to do with the ultrasound pic. The day we got home from the OBGYN and learned about the MMC I immediately threw away the small little baby book someone got me that we started, while screaming THIS IS A BOOK OF LIES, with DH just patted my back. Wish I'd taken my time to think that through a little more carefully. Oh well.

@coco2787 - Happy (now belated) Birthday!! I hope you had fun at dinner last night. And how heartbreaking that trip home must have been. Luckily, everyone knows what happened to me so we aren't running into any "when're you getting preggo" comments right now (for once -- used to get them all the time before we actually started trying).

@grebretso - I hope you have something fun planned while DH is out of town. If you have to miss your O due to his travel, at least make it worth it (margaritas on margaritas on margaritas).

@craftyg - I wish I had the reputation of not buying things so no one expected me to, I just need to start saying no to the dang parties to begin with. My own damn fault for agreeing to go. Welcome back to the boards - hope your return also means you are moving out of your depression.

@dpjennifer - I have blocked, even family members, who do MLMs on social media, it's the worst. I am friends with you on FB/IG/whatever because I like YOU, not friggin oils, or makeup, or bags, or whatever you are trying to hawk in my general direction. I def need to start saying no.

@galactickates - Congrats to your friends! Also, you should def go to Yellowstone this summer!! I went years ago (when I was a teen), but am trekking back this year with DH and dad. It's gorgeous, highly recommended.

@nmbrcrnchr1 - Sorry it's been a rough week. I'm glad you're done with testing and hopefully it will be a little easier without the constant reminders of your loss.

@dragonette505 - FX your thyroid improves and transfer goes well. If not, are you going to an endocrinologist? I know one of my friends struggled with thyroid issues while going through IUI and IVF and there was some medication that was like a miracle drug for her after a few months of no improvement. FX it is where it needs to be and transfer goes well; and if not, that you also get a miracle drug.

lokibear89 · March 2018

@Kabazaba NZ which is near Australia but a much less grating accent if I do say so myself.

dragonette505 · March 2018

holly321 said:

@dragonette505, is this a new thyroid issue, an ongoing problem? If they unfortunately can not get it where it needs to be, is there a plan in place for next time? Good luck to you.

AFM, it is CD1. It is hitting me harder than I expected, I think I was holding on to more hope than I realized.

Ugh.... I think CD1 sux any way you slice it... so sorry this wasn't your cycle

My thyroid issue is ongoing... my problem is I cant seem to take any of the medications ive tried so far... they all make me sick. The best way for me to manage it is to strictly control my diet, and I admit, I haven't been as strict this past year what with all the ivf cycles and pregnancies and miscarriages and surgeries.... and the past two weeks were extra bad as I had family in town and I ate out several times which is always bad. I just have to see if I can normalize in enough time to transfer

dragonette505 · March 2018

@Kabazaba sorry youre feeling under the weather... season change is always when little colds get me! Ive seen a bunch of endocrinologists, and so far, no dice... my thyroid is "normal" but low for how they like to see it for infertility treatments. Everytime I am medicated, and so far ive taken all of the ones ive ever heard of, I tend to go in the other direction and go hyper... heart palpitations, dizzy spells and etc.. a few times ive had to be hospitalized after taking thyroid hormone replacement, and a couple times ive had to take beta blockers to get my heart rhythm back to a normal rate.... sux to be one of those people who cant even take the meds to regulate. I do just wish I could take the darn pill and get my levels where they want them to be

coco2787 · March 2018

I have no extra advice on pain relief @KristoKekerooni but I’m SO sorry to hear you have to be at work during all of this. I wish you were able to take more time to heal, both physically and emotionally. It’s so unfair what you’ve been asked to endure.

Kabazaba · March 2018

@lokibear89 ahh, NZ, somehow I missed that's where you're from. Well, I will say then that based alone on LOTR and the Hobbit I imagine your home is basically full of magic and greenery.

@dragonette505 Ugh that sounds like a nightmare

Well I hope low normal is good enough then.

dragonette505 · March 2018

@Kabazaba me too!

It was awful, but ive been willing to try anything (obviously) even though its always a hot mess!

lickastick · March 2018

dragonette505 said:

@Kabazaba sorry youre feeling under the weather... season change is always when little colds get me! Ive seen a bunch of endocrinologists, and so far, no dice... my thyroid is "normal" but low for how they like to see it for infertility treatments. Everytime I am medicated, and so far ive taken all of the ones ive ever heard of, I tend to go in the other direction and go hyper... heart palpitations, dizzy spells and etc.. a few times ive had to be hospitalized after taking thyroid hormone replacement, and a couple times ive had to take beta blockers to get my heart rhythm back to a normal rate.... sux to be one of those people who cant even take the meds to regulate. I do just wish I could take the darn pill and get my levels where they want them to be

@dragonette505 YGPM re: thyroid stuff.

CraftyG · March 2018

Thank you everyone for the kind welcome back! I believe that my depressions lifting (or becoming more manageable) and I’m feeling more positive about being back here with y’all.

@KristoKekerooni I’m so sorry that you’re still dealing with work with all of this going on, I know it’s not my place/ may not be an option but could you take some time off sick? Also you can double up on painkillers if they’re from a different group e.g you can take ibruprofen and paracetamol together, I like to stagger them an hour apart so that I’ve always got pain killers working.

@holly321 I’m sorry sometimes CD1 can be such a shocking thing when it happens even though you’re expecting it. I recommend hugs, wine and emotional movies

@dragonette505 thank you! I’m sure it was just my anxiety playing with my head but I’m not the most liked with my in laws so I always get nervous before seeing them haha

cate03 · March 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 CP 2/16/18

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? A good friend who knew about my CP told me she was expecting last night. I had a feeling she was when I saw her last month but it was a week after my CP so she must have held back from telling me. At the same time I wish she had told me over text instead of in person. I'm happy for her but its hard to not think about our own situation. You can tell she was completely oblivious to what we are going through when she was making comments about how easy and quick it was. I'm only thankful we were in a car about to drop them off and I was able to hide my face. As soon as they got out I lost it and DH and I spent the rest of the car ride trying to talk through it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? not at this time

GTKY: Do you have any fun summer plans? My extended family is renting a lake house this summer, first time we will all be together in years!

@Kabazaba Ugh MLM. I have someone who has invited me to 3 different MLM company parties in the last year and not even for herself but for her SIL. Thankfully we aren't close so I've been able to avoid it (she is inviting all her FB friends). Unfortunately a friend I am close with also just invited me to one so now I can't avoid it.

@holly321 DH is the same way about the deductible but he is obvious so I actually had to stop bringing it up.

dpjennifer · March 2018

cate03 Sorry for your friend being oblivious. Unfortunately MC/IF/RPL are impossible to understand unless you've actually been through them. Also, with the stigma surrounding MC for so long, only now are people starting to talk about it, so no one really knows what to say.

ChloandCoco · March 2018

Well, ladies, I've decided to take a few months off TTC. If we do decide to try again, it won't be until July or August. I really hope that none of you are here when/if I come back! Thank you so much for all the support over the last 10 months, I wouldn't be in a good place emotionally without you.

kindbytealikat · March 2018

@ChloandCoco We will miss you around here. I hope you are able to check in from time to time. Hugs as you face these difficult months and decisions.

@cate03 I'm so sorry that is tough.

galactickates · March 2018

@chloandCoco I'll miss you. Hope the time your taking for yourself goes well. I know that's not an easy decision to make. I hope when you decide to try again it isn't for long. If you ever miss us though we're all hanging out on the chit chat board

it's under specialty. I can also send you the link. There isn't any ttgp talk over there. It's a nice break from it all but still nice to keep in touch with everyone. Just wanted to put that out there in case you ever miss us.

ChloandCoco · March 2018

Thanks @kindbytealikat and @galactickates , I'll still lurk, but it will probably be on a weekly basis just to keep track of all you ladies.

CraftyG · March 2018

@ChloandCoco Good for you for making the best decision for you! I hope that this time out helps you clear your head and I’m sure that we’ll all be thinking of you

eleven_ · March 2018

@ChloandCoco You will definitely be missed around here! I hope you are able to find peace and think about other things than TTGP during your break. I'm not going to lie, that sounds really nice right about now.

dragonette505 · March 2018

CraftyG Its taken me many years to feel a natural comfort level with my MIL... There was a language barrier for a while too. But mostly we come from such different acting families that it took a while for us all to get used to each other....
cate03 my mouth just dropped! I don't know what to say about your friend... was she getting ready to make it public and just wanted to warn you? Otherwise... ridiculous!! So sorry!!
ChloandCoco Try to enjoy your months off.... I know it can be hard, but it might be nice to be "normal" for a little while.

suzycupcake · March 2018

@KristoKekerooni I hope the pain has lessened by today and I'm so sorry that it hurts so bad. I wish I had more comforting words to say. And being at work like that?

I can't even imagine. Big hugs to you

@dragonette505 I've been thinking about you and was going to send you a dm about it. How is the Lupron going? Where are your thyroid levels at now? I wondered if she put you back on the Levo yet.

Idk how any of you ladies took ibuprofen. You are much stronger than I. I had to take narcotics though not voluntarily. My husband yelled at me to. He knows when I don't want it that means I need it.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

pcos, low p, 1 loss last cycle

Status: tww

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? What's going well for me this week is I am working on a project so it takes my mind off of a lot of things and makes me feel good. I enjoy accomplishing especially when I can't seem to accomplish fertility.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I will be testing on Saturday at 14dpiui

GTKY: Do you have any fun summer plans? No. We don't usually think that far ahead. I would like to travel somewhere though. Hmmm. I did hear that the bahamas are clear of the zika virus now. That's an option. I've always wanted to go see the clear waters, but I don't want to do anything touristy. I love the ocean. It calms my entire being for some reason. It would be great to go diving again.

@galactickates I've been meaning to ask you. How's decorating going? Don't suppose you'd be interested in chatting with me about it. I'm still knee deep in doing my own home and I'd love to get your opinions on some stuff.

coco2787 · March 2018

Take care of yourself @ChloandCoco, we'll miss you around here. I hope the break is healing for you

kindbytealikat · March 2018

Thank you everyone for birthday wishes and well wishes for FIL. The surgury went well

cate03 · April 2018

@dragonette505 @kindbytealikat @dpjennifer
Thank you all. I am thankfully for this space to be able to talk about these things.

TTCAL week of 3/26

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