2nd Trimester week of March 18th

safire3 · March 2018

Thank you @TravelingCouple!
@cseley321 I guess so. I also go to the MFM so maybe that’s why my OB doesn’t feel the need to do it. Who knows. At least I will get frequent ultrasounds through them to make sure baby is growing well.

So I just made my second trip to my local BRU and everything is still full price! The first time I went (last week) they told me they would be starting liquidation today. The sales person said ‘not sales but liquidation’ so wasn’t sure what that meant but went to check it out anyway. Today they say they have no idea when they will start because the company hasn’t told them yet. I think I’m going to give up on chasing this. DH doesn’t think I should buy anything major until after the shower anyway but I see people saying they saved hundreds of dollars and feel like I’m missing out!

hottietoddy · March 2018

@safire3 maybe check out babies r us online they have some deep discounts for things there. They are not labeled as liquidation but clearly it's items that are lower on stock or they are trying to get rid of. I got a nice stroller $100 off. You can look at things in store if you need to before buying.

safire3 · March 2018

Ahhh so that’s where the deals are. I will definitely check it out. Thanks @hottietoddy!

Aera11 · March 2018

@jr102217 so glad you were happy with the new therapist! and yay for vagina kicks haha

I feel like I get summersaults in the vagina now.

@Holls214 the room looks great!

@cseley321 that's wonderful that you'll be able to bring your kids around their grandparents now! and the owls are super cute.

@safire3 my OB just started measuring me and my last appointment when I was 25 weeks and then again this week at 27. I thought the same thing, that it was weird they weren't measuring me yet but then the little tape measure came out. Glad you're echo was normal!

I totally forgot HDBD this week! I'll try to remember to do one tonight or tomorrow. DH just started painting the nursery!

sarcasticowl · March 2018

Hey all, I just wanted to mention something that made me burst out laughing today at work: On one of our previous threads, someone asked about peeing in a cup at every appointment, so I knew to expect it at my 4 month appointment on tuesday. Figured it was the standard check-for-UTI-and-protein thing. But the results didn’t come back the next day. Thought it was strange but then I thought maybe they wouldn’t bother posting negative results. Well I was SO wrong that I about fell out of my chair today: The results came back in with about 23 lines beginning with “cocaine.” Yup, it was a massive drug test including for all forms of opioids (even NARCAN was on there!). I mean clearly I haven’t been on fentanyl like, uh, ever, but it was funny to me that they never mentioned it and that all I was expecting was a flora count and instead I got to see a list of crazy drugs (with a couple of STD tests thrown in for, I assume, a joke). Oh the things we do for the sake of having a baby

Holls214 · March 2018

What the heck lol? They have me pee in a cup from 24 weeks+. Never asked what they were testing.

that’s funny.

Hopeful_mom · March 2018

Thats kind of amazing - i've never heard of that!! I've been peeing at every appt since week 12. One got sent to the wrong lab and was charged a fortune...i wonder if thats why..hmmmmm

hottietoddy · March 2018

Hey guys,
I saw an add on Facebook that buy buy baby will recreate your babies r us registry for you. You might have to go in the store or at least meet with them on the phone, but that could be handy for those who need to switch from BRU and already had their registry put together. The link to the add is below.

https://www.facebook.com/buybuyBABY/posts/1898825456795499:0

@sarcasticowl haha oh my gosh! So glad you were able to get off all those 10 street drugs and get those 3 STDs you have under control before that test! Haha jk, of course you wouldn't have those issues. Does make me wonder though what weirdos are out there and their poor babies.... I'm sure they have to test and maybe don't even mention it because someone who was doing that stuff would probably lie about it. I read some articles recently saying they still think almost 10% of pregnant women drink and smoke. After going through IF I think we all here would find that pretty imaginable. Here we all are going through hell with our bodies and doing everything imaginable to have a healthy pregnancy.

sarcasticowl · March 2018

And I totally understand the need to test for every conceivable opioid in existence considering the massive problem in this country, but are there a lot of women doing IVF who are still shooting up? Hard to imagine you’d have money for BOTH haha. Not to make fun of addiction or anything, but they know me at this place. I’m sure it’s just a standard thing but it was still shocking.

[Deleted User] · March 2018

Yeah, I find it pretty shocking the rights we sign away when we go under their care. Like I'm sure somewhere you're signing something that say, we can test you and your samples for whatever we feel like testing you for, (and send you / your insurance the bill), meanwhile if they had to disclose what each sample was for and what they were testing, you might have people putting up a stink, like oh hell no, I'm not paying for you to drug test me???? WTF! I know I'm not on drugs, get a GD warrant!? Sorry if my reaction is a little extra, but I feel like that's a big ole privacy violation right there, and yet nobody says anything because its all been lawyered up in the stack of consents that we sign. Ughhhh.

sarcasticowl · March 2018

@BusinessWife TOTALLY.

safire3 · March 2018

@sarcasticowl at least you are seeing the results. They take my urine every time and I never see any results. Somehow my OB office doesn’t even have a portal. One time they did call me like a week later and left a message on my phone saying my chlamydia and gonorrhea tests were negative. I called back thinking they had called the wrong persons because I didn’t remember doing any of that. Apparently that’s what at least one of the urine samples were for and I didn’t even know it! Who knows what else they have tested me for.

sarcasticowl · March 2018

Here's the list in case you're curious. Dying to know if it's only my office that tests for all this stuff. I have no idea what 3/4 of this is:

Amphetamine Barbiturates
Benzodiazepines Cocaine
Phencyclidine Tetrahydrocannabinol
Creatinine Specific Gravity
pH Oxidants
Adulterants Codeine
Codeine-6-beta-glucuronide Morphine
Morphine-6-beta-glucuronide 6-monoacetylmorphine
Hydrocodone Norhydrocodone
Dihydrocodeine Hydromorphone
Hydromorphone3betaglucuronide Oxycodone
Noroxycodone Oxymorphone
Oxymorphone-3-beta-glucuronide Noroxymorphone
Fentanyl Norfentanyl
Meperidine Normeperidine
Naloxone Naloxone-3-beta-glucuronide
Methadone Eddp
Propoxyphene Norpropoxyphene
Tramadol O-desmethyltramadol
Tapentadol N-desmethyltapentadol
Tapentadol-beta-glucuronide Buprenorphine
Norbuprenorphine Norbuprenorphine glucuronide
Chlamydia trachomatis Rna Neisseria gonorrhoeae (GC) Rna

mbradfo2 · March 2018

The last stuff is STD testing so I'm wondering if there's a law that requires they run it? I know at my 24 week appt the doctor told me they had to do alot of testing for the health department reporting...but it was all blood tests??

Irisheyes81 · March 2018

@sarcasticowl I just laughed SO HARD at your comment of how you could afford to be doing opiates and had infertility. That just made my whole week.

2MomsHoping · March 2018

Sorry guys I haven’t been on top of keeping up with everyone’s posts. Lots of responses below and good news from me. My bump arrived It’s like overnight a couple days ago it just showed up. I don’t think most people would notice it as anything but a big lunch but it’s definitely there!

@laurad75 moving is horrible for stress I can see why you’re having trouble sleeping! Try to get your rest you will get through it. Sometimes listening to podcasts will help me to fall asleep especially if it’s something a little boring, it can keep my mind from racing enough to fall asleep.

@jr102217 I’m not sure I have pregnancy brain but I don’t have my normal dedication to work. I’m usually an in early-out late, check my email around the clock sign up for every project type. Now I’m like oh it’s like 5pm on the dot and I’m halfway out the door. Mine is part distraction I just feel like I have so much more to focus on at home now to get ready and plan. Have fun starting to get the nursery set up. We have just begun working on ours. So fun!

@hottietoddy all your nursery ideas sound so cute. I love the woodland theme and we talked about doing that. We are still not set on a theme. So far the front runner is arctic animals (polar bears, penguins, narwhals, etc.) but underwater theme is also in the mix. One thing we are definitely set on is doing a library wall. I’m a big reader and bedtime stories is one of my favorite childhood memories. We are going to do picture ledges on a short wall in the room and display books there. We will probably do another bookshelf for the overflow. I’ve already gone a bit overboard on the book buying.

@holls214 Your nursery is beautiful. I’m feeling so behind! I have an unassembled crib and a diaper pail. The little man cave sign cracks me up. I love the accent wall with the teal/blue diagonal stripes. I also really like your glider. I heard that style is the best for if you plan to nurse but DW doesn’t like that style. We are still on the hunt.

@mtpbadget I’m sorry you feel so crummy I hope you can get some rest. Yay to passing the glucose test!

@businessWife that is a big gap between appointments but not too bad. Mine have been spaced 4wks so because of the timing with you 20w ultrasound they may have just pushed you back a bit for the next one. I hope your appointment with this new midwife is less eventful than the last one you had.

@travelingcouple I’m so glad you are feeling better and congratulations on hitting the 3rd trimester. Has it seemed like forever or has time been flying for you?

@cseley321 I’m so happy that you and your husband were able to work out an agreement with your in-laws. Who knows maybe opening the door a crack with you may in time heal things for him too. I wish you both the best of luck. Also your daughter’s nursery is so darling! All the little pink owl touches just go together perfectly!

@safire3 I’m not sure if they do the belly measure thing anymore. I never really understood how that could work. I mean babies carry in all sorts of different ways and all moms are built pretty differently it never made sense to me.

@sarcasticowl that’s so crazy they are testing for substance abuse. I heard some news story about pregnant women being convicted for child abuse for exposing their unborn babies to drugs. I remember wondering how would someone know? I guess that’s how they find out! Well at least that’s one test I’m not at all worried about passing J

@hottietoddy…10% drink and smoke?!?!?!?! That’s crazy to me. I won’t even get my nails painted. I always had painted nails. DW bought me some “pregnancy safe” nail polish and I still wouldn’t touch it with a 10ft poll. Though I’m sure that is a little bit on the paranoid side and a result of what it took to get here.

@businesswife I agree with you. I always ask what’s being tested and let me tell you the errors I have caught. You know what I don’t need three vitamin D checks in one month…thank you very much (old IF clinic seemed to love checking that). The other think I worry about is if someone was on something and knew they were going to test it might prevent them from coming in for care at all.

@mbradfo2 you were a little misled. There are standard reporting laws for STDs. Basically there a list of infectious diseases pretty much all STDs but others too like plague, tuberculosis, Ebola, antibiotic resistant bacteria (MRSA), etc. that all need to be reported to CDC. Generally each state has a department of health that it is reported to and then funneled up. There is no law for required testing. There is only a law that if it is tested and if it is positive it needs to be reported. However as part of the standard of care and physician recommendation these things are ordered to cover the doctor’s butt just in case. The patient has every right to opt out though they usually made to feel like they have the option to. They do this mostly because there are steps that can be taken to prevent the transmission of the disease. It’s horrible to think about but many faithful people get STDs from their spouse who cheated or can be asymptomatic/carrier for YEARS and never know it. How much more horrible would it be to not only receive it yourself as a shock but pass it on to your baby. Also these diseases in some instances can be far more serious in pregnancy/infancy than to a healthy mom so catching it before birth can really make a huge difference and even prevent the baby from getting the disease at all. So as a nationwide practice good, for individuals who are very very low risk…probably a little wasteful. Though I have to say sneaking it in under the table of the patient is super sketchy.

[Deleted User] · March 2018

Congratulations on your bump deciding to make an appearance! @2MomsHoping That's got to be an awesome feeling! I'm definitely showing something, but I'm not sure how truly bumptastic it is yet. But FFFC, I'm not above occasionally rubbing the rlp areas in the front of my hips when out in public, in case there's any question: pregnant, not just paunchy. I know, I'm shameless. :# your library wall sounds amazing! You'll get it together in time, I have no doubt. And that kiddo is doing to be so lucky to have such wonderful, smarty-pants mommies! :D

Aera11 · March 2018

I pee every time too! I'm going to ask next time I go in because I'm curious now. My ob had a patient portal but it's been down pretty much this whole pregnancy which is annoying.

Here's my belated HDBD today at 27w1d -- excuse my painting outfit & maternity shorts in the background haha

Irisheyes81 · March 2018

Hahahaha bumptastic @BusinessWife I rub my stomach in public too. I'm constantly wondering if people think, pregnant or big lunch.

2MomsHoping · March 2018

Ok I'm just going to go on a weird little rant and I'm blaming hormones.

I just came back from going away gathering for a coworker were many people found out about my pregnancy. I got the usual questions when are you due and is it a boy or a girl. I tell them August and that we are waiting until the baby is born. This gives the standard response of "oh I could never do that/that's not fun/or how will you plan not knowing?" followed up with.. "Well, as long as its healthy, right?"

I really don't mind the questioning of waiting to find out. I think it is just a personal thing and I can see definitely benefits to knowing ahead of time. It's just a fun surprise for me and I guess I'm ok knowing I'm a bit of an oddball in wanting to wait. The health thing though. Like whats up with that?

I totally get it that this is a normal thing to say. Kinda like saying "how are you?" when passing someone in the hallway but today hearing it over and over it just drove me nuts. Like what a weird thing to tell someone as long as its healthy...I mean if my baby comes out with a heart defect I'm not going to say yeah nevermind I'll pass on this one. No of course not most people would love their baby regardless of health or gender. Anyways the more I thought about it and the more people who said it I just can't get it out of my head. I'm sure I've heard this said a million times and probably even said it myself but not I can't unthink this weird alternate meaning. I just wanted to scream do you know what it took to get here I am thrilled for this baby in any state and their health has no impact on my happiness about having a future child...I did not say this. But has anyone else been creeped out by people saying the "as long as its healthy phrase?" Is this just a side effect of being team green or does everyone get this comment?

[Deleted User] · March 2018

@2MomsHoping. Yeah, I hear you there. Actually someone posted about this on my BMB not too long ago, and came up with a whole bunch of static for it. But I totally get it. Let me see if I can find the article that prompted the discussion.

https://www.scarymommy.com/what-say-instead-all-i-want-is-healthy-baby/

So yeah, I mean really, it's a pretty idiotic thing to say, because obviously every parent wants their child to be born healthy. But I pity the fool that stands in the way of this tiger mom if my baby were to be born sick. I think that when babies aren't born healthy, or when children may go through a time when they are sick down the line, it has a way of bringing out a fierceness in a mother's love, not diminishing it. I'm not really even sure how I would respond to comments like that. I agree with you that people just kind of throwing it out there like almost meaningless, but I wonder if something somple, but very direct like, "well, of course I hope they're healthy but I'm going to love them no matter what, maybe love them even <i>more</i> if they are sick!" And look at them like they have two heads??? I don't know if that would make them think, or if it would still just go right over their heads.

Holls214 · March 2018

@2MomsHoping The ish that people say never ceases to amaze me... People have said that to us also. Well lets all just hope the baby is healthy. Exactly like if it is not, I am going to give it back? Wth. Today my new chiro asked a bunch of questions about the baby. Gender, name etc. I shared the gender but I am like quit asking me questions and said we didn't have a name yet even though we do. Maybe people just don't know what to say, so they just talk and say dumb things?

Holls214 · March 2018

@Aera11 your bump is adorable.

hottietoddy · March 2018

@2MomsHoping I got this comment from my psycho mother in law if that gives you any idea of kind of people who say that. She said something about really wanted a boy then, 'we just want a healthy baby'. I think it's supposed to be like, regardless of gender what we hope for above all is just a healthy baby. But the way they say it is so weird. Like you need to be reminded that is the goal? I personally find it so offensive that people (outside of mother and father) care or want a specific gender. For people like us that just want a damn baby, it's rediculous.

Aera11 · March 2018

@Holls214 thank you! I'm starting to feel big.

@2MomsHoping I am team green and that is definitely a statement I/we get a lot after we say we don't know what we're having. Obviously we all want healthy babies/kids/families/friends etc, but life happens and just like @Holls214 said, are we really going to give it back?! uh no. Most people can't even fathom what any of us have been, even that aside, it's just such a bold thing for people to say. I had a cashier at the grocery store say to me today, "you're having a girl". Just like that. I wanted to say I'm not pregnant but I figured that wouldn't go over well when I'd be back every week and eventually with a baby. But who just says that to someone? I also wanted to say, "no, it's a boy." But again, what if it is a girl and I am back. Not like it even matters, but I just replied with we don't know and left. Insert major eye roll.

cseley321 · March 2018

Eh, the healthy baby comment doesn't bother me at all. It's just a way of wishing an expecting family well. I think in general people read too deeply into things and are almost looking for an excuse to get upset. No offense to those who get annoyed by this, we all have our pet peeves!

Holls214 · March 2018

Tonight I also got some side eye from the cashier at the store as I was buying my husband beer to go with dinner. I’m obviously not drinking it myself even though it sounds really refreshing.

it’s so funny to me when people tell you what they think you are having @Aera11. It’s like hmmm. I feel you on starting to feel big. Some days I’m a bottomless pit of hunger too and feel like I’m going to be just huge in 2 months when this baby is born.

safire3 · March 2018

I think the healthy baby thing started with parents saying ‘we don’t care about gender we just hope it’s a healthy baby’. So now when you tell people you don’t know or care about the gender they say the same thing and it sounds a bit off coming from them but I don’t take offense to it.

Like @hottietoddy said what does annoy me is when people express their wish for us to have a certain gender. Like I have a half sister who lives in another state. After I had the NIPT blood work I told her it was about 99% that we were having a boy but it would be conformed for sure at the anatomy scan. She still went on the say ‘well I hope it’s a girl’. Like I just told you it’s most likely a boy. I guess that means you won’t love him as much as you would if he were a girl? Andplusalso we are the actual parents and we really don’t care one way or another, especially after all we have been through so who are you to have a preference?

[Deleted User] · March 2018

@safire3 omg that must be maddening! At least being team green, mostly I have heard the boy mom's want me to have a boy, and the girl mom's want me to have a girl, just so we are on the same "team". Lol. So I get it, but ultimately the baby already is what the baby is!

Speaking of which, 16 weeks today, and while I have been feeling what I was questioning for a week or two here, I think I may have felt the real thing??? Just sitting here in my chair, but the tv had a really loud moment, and I could swear I felt the little flutter bubbles, like in the front of my tummy. I hope I start feeling it more consistently so I can be sure!

safire3 · March 2018

Awwww @BusinessWife it probably is. I started feeling baby move at 16 weeks too. Apparently that’s early for us FTMs but my placenta is posterior so I guess that helps. I was sitting in my car feeling what I though was gas when I realized it was too persistent and kept coming in the same spot. Then I said out loud ‘is that you?’ as if he would answer

Feeling baby moving around in there is definitely one of the best parts of this process!

2MomsHoping · March 2018

@businesswife thank you for the article. I think IF and pregnancy have made me so hyper aware of what I say to people now. I know I’ve been guilty of thoughtlessly saying things in the past and I like your suggestion about saying something. Often people don’t really realize what they are saying or how its received by the other person I just want to make sure it doesn’t come off snarky so it’s a hum let me think moment rather than embarrass the person or make them defensive.

@Holls214 the name thing is another one! DW and I are about 99% set on our boy and girl name picks but we don’t want to share because the middle name for a boy and the first name for a girl would include a family name from my side and if we change our mind I don’t want to disappoint on my side of the family or invite controversy/jealousy from my in-laws about naming the baby after someone. My MIL can be a bit territorial but we decided that since baby will have DW’s last name and I took DW’s last name I would get total middle name naming rights (which I negotiated up a bit for a first name for a potential daughter) . MIL is already miffed that the baby is not genetically her daughters and I don’t want to pour any gasoline on that fire that the baby will get a family middle or first family name from me on top of the genetics. I don’t want to defend our choice so I keep on just playing it like we are still deciding. Not sure how long I can keep that up, I’m a bad liar and have been getting lots of requests and suggestions for names.

@hottietoddy lol that mother-in-law of yours I wouldn’t doubt she would be an offender of this phrase. I don’t know why the gender preferences don’t get to me. My in-laws are rooting for a boy (they haven’t had one in the family in 40ish years). My family is rooting for a girl (they haven’t had one since me so that’s a 37 year run! Either way someone will be thrilled and the other side will get over it :P I really can’t decide which I want more either one would be fun!

@aera11 hhahahaha I have a quick mind too and the those phrases to throw someone off after they say something always run through my head are so tempting aren’t they. Even if you (and I) are too nice to fight fire with fire you do have to admit that mental comeback does take the edge off.

@cseley321 and @safire3 your statement about not getting upset about it is totally fair. I know it’s not ill intentioned I think it was just the day and hearing it so many times in a row that just set me off. Everyone has their buttons I suppose and I definitely wouldn’t hold it against anyone who said it.

@businesswife that sounds like the baby to me. Mine started out really occasionally, almost felt like tickles from the inside. I don’t think it’s too early. I wasn’t sure about mine but that its feels about the same but has been getting more frequent and stronger makes me pretty confident I was right in diagnosing those first little movements. Congratulations!

hottietoddy · March 2018

Congratulations on feeling the baby move @BusinessWife! I don't know if I've felt anything yet. I am overweight and heard sometimes can be harder to feel. But he seems to be moving all around on sono each time, so not too worried. I feel like I can wait a little longer to be kicked in the vagina (like some others said they felt)! Haha

2nd Trimester week of March 18th

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