Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
slr1229
member
Re: Sleep Support Thread
Other things that have been working for us are getting a really tight swaddle (I love the copper pearl blankets... they are stretchy so you can pull them really tight!), gas drops on occasion when gas seems to be the issue, and I usually feed him, change his diaper, then swaddle him up and feed him again if he wants to or just hold him... this way when he does fall asleep he's already swaddled up so laying him down is easier/less wakeful.
My first was not as good of a sleeper and the only thing that worked for him was the rock and play (we didn't try the dock a tot with him).
I will say that consistency is key, but we ended up going with whatever got us some sleep. Also, make sure you aren’t switching sides too early when breastfeeding. The hindmilk helps them sleep. Sometimes I’ll pump for 5-10 minutes and then put him on so he only gets hindmilk.
So wake them up for scheduled feeding? Or on demand feeding? On demand at night and scheduled during the day? What are you guys doing? At first the NICU insisted we do scheduled every 3 hours, but the pediatrician seems a bit more lax and also their EDD was today, which might change things for us personally. But assuming a full term regular size baby, do you guys trust the baby to wake him or herself when it's time to eat or do you wake them at set times?
Edit...I should also add that I co-sleep. It's easier with breastfeeding for me, but it's also probably why my kids aren't great at sleeping all night until they wean. They like the boob in the mouth all night long and I am a constant reminder. I have tried to change this habit, but it doesn't work for me.
Doing daily diaper free time, changing them constantly, plus lots of diaper rash cream to try to heal their butts. How long does it normally take for it to go away if you're on the right path to getting rid of it?? MH said he saw a little blood there on one yesterday and we feel so bad :'(
As others have said, don't beat yourself up. You're doing the best you can to resolve it, and some babes are just sensitive.
We keep the house pretty cool, which the guidelines also recommend, but then we sleep under two blankets!
My MIL keeps sending me gowns but I just like having my babies legs more confined.
Our place is cold at night this time of year too--we have horrible insulation and even though we set the thermostat to 70 it feels so drafty everywhere plus our kids have temperature control issues due to their small size. So given all that for sleep put them in long sleeves, pants, hat, and socks, and then use a swaddle me or halo plus 2 blanket swaddles around it. We started off with fewer swaddles, but it wasn't enough in our house.
We use a zip up and one or two swaddle blankets, plus a hat.
Ok, we will learn to swaddle. Plus that's technically a blanket, so maybe that will make DH feel better.
I agree with @mdfarmchick that it is really depends on the baby. When she's up at night, the most she's doing is grunting and little whining, so I'm able to let her self sooth and I can sleep through that for the most part.
If it's a bad night with more substantial crying, I have been doing the 5 S's from "The Happiest Baby on the Block" It's a book (also video version) on Amazon. The S's stand for swaddle, side position, shush, swing, and suck. You can literally just google is without having to buy anything to learn how to sooth your babe. I find that this has been super helpful so far!
ETA: my son was closer to 3 months before he started fighting his swaddles.
my son was swaddled until 4-5 months but needed a velcroed swaddle as he would wake himself with scratching. The we switched to a sleep sack with arms out at the different sizes until at around 18 -20 months.