Telling your boss...

meltonjl · March 2018

Does anyone else get as nervous as me? I am not sure why I am so anxious when I tell work. Last time I thought I was going to get yelled at. This time I have a much nicer boss and I am still worried. It sucks I feel like getting pregnant and having a full time job is frowned upon. I don't think it's true in most cases, but I can't come up with any other reason I would be so anxious about it!

bel194 · March 2018

I was soooo nervous but I actually told her this morning and her response was, "oh I'm so relieved, I thought you were going to tell me that you found a new job." I think my nervousness was just the usual working mom guilt rearing its ugly head a bit early. My advice is to do it like you're ripping off a band aid. All of the anticipation and building up to it doesn't help and they likely won't be "upset" with you for it. And if they are, then that's their problem..

meltonjl · March 2018

@bel194 I am thinking about doing it this morning too. DH thinks I will feel so much better after. I'm so glad it went well for you. Working mom guilt is the absolute worst! You feel guilty when you are working and you feel guilt when you aren't!

sliztee · March 2018

My boss didn't say explicitly that she thought I was going to tell her I was quitting, but her face sure did, @bel194!

Everyone has been more than excited about the news!

RosieMommy2016 · March 2018

With DS, my old boss said "Well that is inconvenient". I left him for someone else when I got off maternity leave. My current boss got excited and hugged me. I told her the day of my sonogram.

meltonjl · March 2018

@RosieMommy2016 sounds like my old boss! What a jerk. Sorry he said that. Glad your new boss is excited for you. That's so awesome!

nayyohme · March 2018

I'm telling mine this week and I don't know how it will go since we have such a small office. She asked me if I had any vacations planned for the summer so she can work on schedules and I said umm no, not for the summer.

ninji15 · March 2018

I told my boss mostly because I felt I had to at 6 weeks when put on restrictions from the Dr. No ladder work and no more heavy lifting, he just kind of asked how long I wouldn't be able to do those things and to get it in writing if its going to be the whole pregnancy. Uhmmm okay. I have yet to tell HR.

bel194 · March 2018

It definitely felt good to finally tell her!

meltonjl · March 2018

@ninji15 those sound like valid reasons for having to tell your boss. I travel alot and there's been some issues with my appointments already so that's one of the reasons I would like to get it over with!

knottieamusements · March 2018

I told my boss about a month ago because I looked at my calendar, and it had bloomed with appointments. I didn’t want him to think I was flaking out. He also thought that I was leaving, and was super relieved when I wasn’t. He offered a hug, but we both decided that would just be too freaking weird.

Apparently one of the highlights for him is that he will finally get invited to a company baby shower. (We are a small group in a midsize company- mine is the first baby in his group.)

tinattt23 · March 2018

I work from home, so I can put it off a decent amount of time. I usually have a call with my boss once a month or so, so I’ll just throw it in then. He wasn’t thrilled last time, but we’d just gotten through a situation where the first pregnancy lady in my office swore up and down she was coming back to work only to call in and quit on her first scheduled day back. Hopefully now that we just did this whole thing a year ago he’ll have an easier time since he knows what to expect.

purplegoldfish2 · March 2018

@ninji15 He probably wants it in writing to have a record of it. He also doesn’t know if it’s a restriction because you’re pregnant and your dr doesn’t want you on ladders or if there is maybe something going on that you’re restricted for now but if things improve then the restrictions could be lifted (like maybe a subchrionic hemorrhage). My mom was on ladders at work throughout her pregnancy, including the day she went into labor, so it isn’t necessarily a restriction every pregnant woman is given.

firsttimespartanmom · March 2018

I’m going to try and hold off until I get to the second trimester to tell mine so he doesn’t need have to feel like he’s keeping my secret- our department is fairly small and close. With that said, if something happens where I need more frequent appointments or need to stay home, I will have to tell him so I don’t just look like a giant slacker.

chopchop25 · March 2018

I told my two bosses super early and, thankfully, they were ecstatic. I just wanted them to know so early in case I was having any 'emotionally' off days - I'm in a rotational program so performance is analyzed a bit more, and I felt like I needed that disclaimer in case I had a bad day or wasn't able to perform up to my normal self.

ninji15 · March 2018

@purplegoldfish2 true, but the type of work I do he should kind of figure I won't be able to do it much longer plus the added liability. I by no means want to milk this pregnancy but I don't want to be on a 12 foot ladder or higher up even in a man lift pulling cable being offset by a large baby bump. I also get on roof tops regularly. My coworker fell off a tall ladder last summer and it was bad, hes super good with the type of work we do. Now if I am just jumping on a 6 footer I am more willing to bend the rules and already have, I also lifted large racking equipment after I got my bfp. Since the spotting I have tried to be more cautious of the lifting. I just figured it would be more common sense, but I plan to get it in writing soon.

Sidenote they hired me for this during my first pregnancy, I was 6 months at the time went into preterm labor at 33 weeks and was told light duty. Had her at 36 weeks so in theory they should be understanding about this too as time goes on. Fingers crossed.

Mylitta · March 2018

I'll wait until 14ish weeks. My job duties will need to change at that time. I won't say anything until that's the case though. I'll also have to get dr orders for that, but it's a paper trail type thing. The thing is that if I tell anyone at work, they're pretty much required to let it become public knowledge/pass it up the line and everyone else suddenly knows. Hence my reasoning for keeping it to myself.
However my appointments don't conflict with work in any way so I don't have to worry about that.

purplegoldfish2 · March 2018

@ninji15 That totally makes sense and I didn’t mean to imply you were trying to milk it or anything, just pointing out that even typical restrictions for one dr office isn’t something another office restricts without another reason.

ninji15 · March 2018

@purplegoldfish2 Oh, I know that you weren’t implying that. My boss is just pretty much implying it and that’s where my tone is coming from I guess. I totally get what you are saying.

klpv415 · March 2018

I told my boss super early, basically for the same reason @chopchop25 said, and also because I'm impatient. She was ecstatic and got teary-eyed. In my head I was thinking "Well this is awkward." I've only been at this job for 4 months lol.

sunnyknightsarah · March 2018

I haven't told my boss yet and I'm definitely nervous. My boss is very kind but she's also a badass executive (which I love about her) but I'm sure she will be thinking about what impact this will have on the company. I work for a very large Fortune 50 company but I am the only one in my specific role. I don't have a backup or a team who can help or take over any duties during vacation days/sick days/maternity leave so I am definitely nervous to tell her.

I am going to sit down with HR next week to find out our specific maternity policies so I can make a plan and then talk to her mid-late April. She is based in California and I am based in Colorado so I don't see her in person a lot but I feel this is face-to-face news. I need to tell her before I start to show and word gets back to her.

Also, my job is a 2-year rotational position that's over at the end of this year (and I will either have to find a new job or I can leave the company and transition to a SAHM for a while) so I'm hopeful that this is decent timing and she can opt to hire my replacement early and have me train them and then I will leave my position when I go out on maternity leave. I don't know, we'll see. I still feel like the kid who doesn't want to disappoint the teacher lol.

nasalot188 · March 2018

I'm planning to tell my boss next week after my 12 wk scan! She was great with DS, gave me a big hug. I think this time she is fully expecting it and it won't shock her.

quiltandknit · March 2018

I work in a doctor’s office with one physician. He figured it out pretty quick when I started looking sick. He’s keeping the secret now. I don’t plan on telling my director or any other staff until after the 12 week ultrasound.

nugget2ehf · March 2018

I'm planning telling next week after 12 wk appointment, but I'm also wondering if I should wait a bit longer, because we have our yearly reviews coming up. I want to make sure I get my good yearly raise before telling (not that I think it will affect it really), but it may also be a good time to start talking about the plan and discussing options, like working part-time for a while after maternity leave. So I haven't fully decided.

My job is secure, so I'm not worried about anything. And by the time baby comes, I will have been here just shy of 6 years. And I'm also the only licensed engineer (other than my boss). He's very flexible and laid back, so I feel like he will work with me. But it's also a large company, so don't know how that will all work company policy-wise.

meltonjl · March 2018

Well I told my boss...it was fine. He seems happy for me. I am glad I got it over with! I won't be 12 weeks until Sunday but I never know when my boss will be on the road and if I will ever see him again! Well I knew I would but did not know how much longer I could go without telling him. Plus I feel like I am starting to show. Does anyone else feel like that?

@hannaht8516 If I were you I would wait until your review. I did that last time at ~14 weeks. It made it less stressful and I just told them at the end when they asked if I wanted to discuss anything else.

chopchop25 · March 2018

Glad it went okay @meltonjl!

chyvie · March 2018

I'm waiting for my performance raise, which should be given by the end of the month. I asked HR lady yesterday to get feedback on when the raised would come because they are late this year. I told her I was pregnant and wanting to share the news but ideally wanted to hear about the raise first. She said ultimately they can't hold back a raise due to pregnancy, so I shouldn't be worried but I could wait until I'm ready. Problem is I want to announce on social media for Easter, but have coworkers on my FB. So I will tell them next week even if the raise hasn't come.

nmadjeski · March 2018

I haven't told my boss yet as I am also waiting for my review. It should be next week. I wanted to wait until after 12 weeks but my boss only visits my store once every 3 months so I just want to get it over with.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

Told my bosses two weeks ago. The one year old threw her milk and the three year old suggested we name it after her.

meltonjl · March 2018

@DunkinDecaf I die. That reminds me of those NyQuil commercials.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

@meltonjl yeah, days off aren’t really a thing, but I’m currently taking an hour off. Thank you, Little Mermaid.

chyvie · March 2018

@DunkinDecaf so funny!

krzyriver · March 2018

*TW*

I told my boss right when I found out at 4 weeks via email. She's never in my office and I can never get her on the phone. I told her right away because I have a history of loss and knew I'd be out of the office for a day or two if something happened. I was also in and out of the ER a lot with DS and I'm the only front desk person at my dental office. She was glad she had such a huge heads up on my maternity leave, thank god.

purplegoldfish2 · March 2018

@hannaht8516 How are you doing at work? If the pregnancy has affected your work, telling them before the review and mentioning that you’ve been feeling pretty sick could help in the review. They may see you as newly pregnant and trying instead of kind of slacking for no reason. If your office is anything like mine was, performance the month leading up to review counted way more than the rest of the year.

jennybean80 · March 2018

I told one of my unit managers this morning, since I’m likely going to be pulled off work in 14 more weeks. I feel like they needed the heads up, and I’m going to need to leave early for an appointment in a couple of weeks.

nugget2ehf · March 2018

@purplegoldfish2 Luckily, we haven't been very busy for the past few months. So even though I have been exhausted and unmotivated, it has come at the perfect time. So I haven't had much to do anyway.

pajamstagrams · March 2018

I had to tell my new boss at 6 weeks (less than 1 week after finding out myself!) because she had called to tell me I had gotten the new job I interviewed for, which requires occasional travel to an offshore oil platform. I was super nervous because in the interview I was saying how I was looking forward to being a liaison between offshore and onshore (because I had no idea nor any intention to be pregnant at the time-I found out 12 hours after the interview), and that's going to be difficult because I can't travel offshore anymore. She has been super great about everything so far and we had a nice chat yesterday about the onsite daycare at the office. Now if only everyone else would stop asking me when I'm getting offshore...that would be great and I could stop lying! I'm currently around 10 weeks so I may tell the rest of the team in a few weeks.

sparklingwhit · March 2018

I told my boss because I had so many appointments and had to leave early a lot. He was happy for me. Now I’m leaving for a new company and start on the 2nd and I’m afraid to tell my new boss. Oi!

HoosOnFirst · March 2018

I’ll tell my boss at 14 weeks. It’s my second so it shouldn’t be a big deal.

midwestmom12 · March 2018

I’m very nervous to tell work this time around. This will be my third maternity leave in the 5 years I’ve been with my company. The good news is they know how I perform while pregnant and once I’m back...the bad news is they probably feel like I do nothing but get pregnant on my free time. Starting to show so I’ll have to tell my boss and colleagues in the next few weeks.

tropical1982 · March 2018

I had to tell my boss soon after I got a positive test. I work at a chemical plant (accountant) and we have to notify them so our work area is checked. I am restricted from the actual plant for safety for the rest of the pregnancy. My boss was happy and a bit surprised.

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