I don't look at my board all day and come to see this thread with so many posts made me think some drama ensued but instead was met with some tame banter! I agree with all the unpopular opinions. Especially with the football and sports in general! My hubby loves all sports especially football. I put in NY wedding vows that he will forever be able to watch football. I just can't stand watching sports on TV. Take me to the game and I'm having fun!
My UO is piercing babies or very young girls ears. I strongly believe that it should be the choice of the little girl, not because the parents want them to look more girlie. So until they can ask themselves they should not get their ears pierced.
I got DD's ears pierced at 2 or 3 months old and now looking back I'm like "omg I can't believe I did that" and I don't think I would ever be able to do it again. There was a lot of pressure from DH's side of the family to do it; they're Mexican and i got the impression that there's a cultural significance to it but I don't know enough to speak on that and may be totally wrong.
The only nice thing that worked out is that now as an almost 5yo she's LOVES them. Plus they healed very nicely since she was too young to play with them and I was able to keep them clean well while they were healing.
BFP #1: due 6/17/2013, DD born 6/25/13 BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016 BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
I haven't read through all of these but I'm so pleasantly surprised at how many of these UOs I agree with. Yay to minivans, boo to home births, boo to guns, boo to Devos, yay to taking sips of DH's alcohol during pregnancy
I definitely took some alcohol sips last pregnancy. You have at least take a sip of beer when you’re pickin’ crabs.
I bought a new car the week before I found out I was expect DS in 2015. It’s a Nissan Altima. It’s fine, But DH is tall and we can’t even RF in the middle. Wish a van was in our future! @kiwi2628 are you in Canada? No vans?
@coffee-saur my mommy wagon now is an outback! I adore it. Definitely going to be sad to see it go. And my first car was an old Toyota Sienna! DH called it the mauve marauder (it was blue. He’s not great at colors). It was a great car until I slowly managed to destroy it. It took me a couple years to really get the hang of driving
We have a 2017 Odessey. I like it except we no longer have DVD players which isn’t a big deal but when you travel weekends for sports it becomes a big deal after a while. I suppose I’m going to have to start looking form something bigger. BARF. I miss my convertible.
Re: home birth I generally agree HOWEVER home birth has been heavily pushed on me this time around knowing it may be only option. My first birth was a precipitous Labour (less than 3 hrs) and I barely made it to hospital in time. This Labour will most likely be quicker and the possibility of delivery on the side of road is REAL. I don't want a home birth and am considering induction. But I do think in some cases, it can be your only safe option.
Re: epidural I totally agree don't be a hero! I didn't have one with DS because there was no time. I do think everyone should go in prepared with the possibility it may not be an option.
Re: guns I live in Canada lol I literally don't know a single person with a gun. The entire idea of it is seems so foreign to me! I do hope the U.S. tackles gun control soon on some level. Change is needed.
@nasalot188 I’m in Canada too, and also don’t know anyone with a gun - well, a handgun at least. I do know a few hunters with rifles/shotguns, but outside of police I’ve never even laid eyes on a handgun. I really don’t get the appeal.
I do get the “no epidural” thing though. I didn’t have one with my first, but had one with my twins since there’s a really high c-section rate with attempted vaginal twin deliveries, and I didn’t want to be put to sleep if there was an emergency. I had them place it, and test it, then turn it off. I hated it while it was working. Crying ugly tears kind of hate. It's just not for me.
Duvet covers are stupid and impractical *says the person who's huffing and puffing after spending half an hour stuffing a king size blanket into a king size duvet that's like twice the size of their body but whatever*
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
I think “controversial opinions” or “controversial topics” is a better thread name, IMO, but I know it’s a “thing” on boards. It always seems many of the opinions are not actually unpopular, and many people often agree, but they are often controversial.
Whether it’s a mimosa with brunch, a new fun cocktail specialty at dinner or a glass of wine with dinner, or even sharing a bottle of wine with friends, weekend dinner plans with friends almost always involve a drink. Honestly, I do not miss drinking, but I do get nervous about being “outed” on my pregnancy before we are ready to share the news.
I guess part of what I don’t get is why people don’t recognize that this is going to be an issue well in advance of actually getting a BFP.
I completely understand what you mean about everything you do socially involves drinking. I live in St. Louis- home to Anheiser Bush; I could smell the brewery walking out of my coffee shop this evening- and it isn’t just the smell that permeates the city; alcohol is a huge aspect of everything social. It is a big joke in my department that I “don’t drink”, but I’ve had to learn all the defensive tactics that get discussed in the “how to hide that I’m not drinking” threads to make it through holiday parties and work conferences.
At the same time, because my colleagues and friends so rarely see me drink, there is no question as to why I don’t drink. And for the occasional person who asks “It’s free booze! Why aren’t you drinking?!?” It is really easy for me to say “because I choose not to”, and everyone around me knows that there isn’t an ulterior motive.
It’s not like people would have to completely give up alcohol before pregnancy, but it seems like it would reduce stress if their friends and colleagues knew that sometimes they don’t drink because they just don’t want a drink that night, so when they can’t have a drink for three months it isn’t news that someone isn’t drinking.
FYI -I’m not a teetotaler, I just rarely drink- especially since in most cases I am my own designated driver.
@lynzev I also carry. I have some pretty strong opinions on this topic but I will try to state them politely lol. My probably UO I don’t understand people who get upset that some of us who are trained and have a license to do so carry a gun. It’s possible one of us could even save your life! DH won’t let me forget and leave the house without mine especially now with the baby. I believe in very thorough background checks and training before being allowed to buy a firearm. I also firmly believe not just anyone should be able to have a gun. The process now is not strict enough by any means and lots of people have guns that shouldn’t. That being said, I think taking away all our guns is an utterly stupid idea which will do more harm than good. The people who really shouldn’t have guns will ALWAYS find a way to get them. If we can’t even keep drugs out of the bad guys hands how the hell do you think we can keep guns from him? Yet you want me to give up my only means to protect myself from those guys? Thank you but I will keep my guns to protect myself and my family as much as is in my power. I would feel horrible if I forgot to carry one day and something would happen to my child that I could have prevented had I been carrying. It’s not for everyone I understand but I think people should take comfort, not be scared, that there are trained people carrying around them who wouldn’t think twice about saving an innocent life. I would do anything to protect my loved ones but that being said, I really hope I never actually have to pull the trigger.
@lynzev I also carry. I have some pretty strong opinions on this topic but I will try to state them politely lol. My probably UO I don’t understand people who get upset that some of us who are trained and have a license to do so carry a gun. It’s possible one of us could even save your life! DH won’t let me forget and leave the house without mine especially now with the baby. I believe in very thorough background checks and training before being allowed to buy a firearm. I also firmly believe not just anyone should be able to have a gun. The process now is not strict enough by any means and lots of people have guns that shouldn’t. That being said, I think taking away all our guns is an utterly stupid idea which will do more harm than good. The people who really shouldn’t have guns will ALWAYS find a way to get them. If we can’t even keep drugs out of the bad guys hands how the hell do you think we can keep guns from him? Yet you want me to give up my only means to protect myself from those guys? Thank you but I will keep my guns to protect myself and my family as much as is in my power. I would feel horrible if I forgot to carry one day and something would happen to my child that I could have prevented had I been carrying. It’s not for everyone I understand but I think people should take comfort, not be scared, that there are trained people carrying around them who wouldn’t think twice about saving an innocent life. I would do anything to protect my loved ones but that being said, I really hope I never actually have to pull the trigger.
Just playing devil’s advocate...but if something did happen while with your child, don’t you think your instinct would be to get away? Not fumble with a gun while holding your child?
@mama2bofthree legit point there. I keep mine in a place now that I am very comfortable and familiar with to keep that from happening but with a child there...I guess it would depend on the situation. Some dude just being creepy sure I’d just leave. But if physical danger was imminent I’d fumble for a second rather than just try to run.
I guess I just don't understand what situation you think you'd run into? Perhaps I live a very sheltered life, but I've literally never been in a situation where I wish I had a gun with me. That being said, DH and I have guns that we keep in safes. We go on dates to the shooting range sometimes and DH actually goes to the range himself after the kids bedtime. It's a hobby for him that he enjoys. I looked up Japans policy on guns and I really liked it.
Missed most of this thread yesterday, but I just have to say how impressed I am with the thoughtful, respectful discussion from all you ladies!
+1 for team SUV. I have a Honda CR-V and love it! It was close between that and the Subaru Forester. If we have more than two kids, I’d go for the Pilot, no question!
@DunkinDecaf pro SUV here! 100%. We have a 2013 Toyota 4Runner. DH and I are both very tall (he’s 6’4 and I’m 6’0) so we wanted something we wouldn’t have to hunch over. While I’m a FTM and have no car seat experience, we do have 3 large dogs and having the big SUV is a dream come true (plus they love the window in the back that rolls down!)
The whole “bad guys would still get guns” scenario has actually been disproved in many countries. Notably Australia, which still hold the record for the most deadly mass-shooting in history. After the Port Arthur massacre in (I think) 1991, the Aus government cracked down on guns, changed gun control legislation and made it way harder to get guns (and had a buy back program to encourage people to give up their existing guns). Haven’t had a mass shooting since (and before someone asks, there had been something like 13 in the 17 years prior).
Canada has strict gun laws, and the gun deaths per capita is soooo much lower than America. Australia is 1.4 deaths per 1 million people, Canada is 5.1, and America is 29.7.
@jynjer91 while I understand your desire to protect yourself and your family, the idea that you carry a gun with you at all times still terrifies me. No matter how much training a person has, there is always the chance that something can go wrong, and in a high stress situation if you were in a scenario where you might actually need to use it, your training would probably not be the first thing on your mind, and your fight or flight response would take over. In my opinion, having more people carrying guns, even if they’re the “good guys” doesn’t make make us any safer, it just presents more opportunities for things to turn deadly.
And I don’t agree with the argument that having good guys with guns will stop the bad guys with guns. I know it’s just one example, but just look at the school officer in the Parkland shooting. He was a “good guy” with a gun, and he didn’t even go in to try and stop it, despite his weapon. Obviously one person doesn’t make the case, but like I said earlier, I think that in many cases, the instinct to get away from a bad situation is stronger than the one to try and fight back.
Also, to address the sentiment one of us could even save your life! - I didn't ask for that. If I won't shoot someone on my behalf, I certainly don't want someone else to either.
The concept that good guys with guns promote safety is unfounded and I believe it also perpetuates fear mongering that is, quite frankly, way out of control.
I live just outside of Detroit and went to grad school downtown. There were plenty of times walking to my car at 9:30pm that I wished I was able to carry. Just me. I haven't purchased a gun yet though because I haven't taken my concealed carry class. I think it's important to be trained before I carry. I've shot several times, including ARs and AKs. They're not my preference of a gun, but it was interesting to try them.
in a scenario where you might actually need to use it, your training would probably not be the first thing on your mind, and your fight or flight response would take over.
One thing to understand is that regular training actually becomes part of your fight or flight response. If your only training is a single CCW class, it won’t help, but if you are going to the range once a month, the associated physical actions become as familiar as driving your car. (This is part of why I trained BJJ- I’m pretty sure my risk of being raped is higher than getting shot at the mall, and at this point, even not having trained in a few years, some movements are instinctual.)
For me, I’m not willing to invest that time, so I don’t own a handgun. Even if I did own one, I don’t think I would carry it concealed because of the restrictions on where I could do so. (What do you do with it when you go into a bank, school or the post office? Do I want to get fired if it is discovered on me at my office?)
@muchwanted Twins doesn’t mean you have to get a minivan. Diono makes very narrow car seats and I’ve seen pictures of 3 across rear facing in a Toyota Yaris. I have a Yaris that I got before I even started dating my husband and we’ve had twins in it for 5 years and I’m confident we will be able to find a car seat configuration that will accommodate this baby too. Obviously if you want one, go for it, but know that it’s not a must!
Guns: I am all for people having guns. (Not all people, but they shouldn’t be completely banned.) Our neighbors protected our family with their gun when I was in high school. I also think everybody, whether you have a gun or not, needs to teach their kids gun safety. I saw a study (or test or something) where a real, unloaded gun was left in a room with kids for them to find. Kids that lived in houses with guns didn’t touch it because they had been taught how dangerous the gun was. Kids without guns at home picked it up and played with it. Obviously it was a bit biased because toddlers shoot people more often than never. The thing that stuck with me from that is that I don’t have a gun at home so I am far less likely to talk to my kids about what to do if they see a gun on the table at somebody else’s house. It definitely started some gun safety conversations at home.
My UO: Most people don’t think for themselves. They just follow whatever ideology they chose without really thinking about it and considering that some of the things they “believe” are only because somebody else told them to believe it.
Guns: I am all for people having guns. (Not all people, but they shouldn’t be completely banned.) Our neighbors protected our family with their gun when I was in high school. I also think everybody, whether you have a gun or not, needs to teach their kids gun safety. I saw a study (or test or something) where a real, unloaded gun was left in a room with kids for them to find. Kids that lived in houses with guns didn’t touch it because they had been taught how dangerous the gun was. Kids without guns at home picked it up and played with it. Obviously it was a bit biased because toddlers shoot people more often than never. The thing that stuck with me from that is that I don’t have a gun at home so I am far less likely to talk to my kids about what to do if they see a gun on the table at somebody else’s house. It definitely started some gun safety conversations at home.
This is HUGE. Even if you don't have guns in your home, I believe you should educate your child on what a gun is, what it can do, and what they should do if they find one.
@knottieamusements that’s a fair point. My concern, though, is questioning how many people take a class or two and consider themselves “trained” vs those who go through the type of training you describe. Like I would never complain about a trained police officer being able to carry when they’re off duty, but I think that a lot of regular people might go through some less intense training and have a false sense of security by carrying a weapon.
The bottom line, in my opinion, is that it’s way too easy to get guns in this country. If we had stricter laws like many other countries, regular people might not feel as much of a need to carry in order to protect themselves, because the same threat wouldn’t necessarily be there. I feel that people should have to jump through many more hoops to be able to get and carry a deadly weapon, and they should be required to be adequately trained in using it.
On a side note, while not really related, just look at the process for getting a drivers license... first you have to take a written test, then you need to spend hours practicing under supervision of someone already licensed, and then you have to prove that you can actually drive by taking a road test. Obviously this process isn’t foolproof because there’s tons of crappy drivers out there, but I feel that the idea of it is something that should be applied elsewhere as well if that makes sense.
Like I would never complain about a trained police officer being able to carry when they’re off duty, but I think that a lot of regular people might go through some less intense training and have a false sense of security by carrying a weapon.
You have more faith than I do. I’m pretty sure a lot of police officers and related LE, get initial training, and never step in a range again. It totally depends on the state and the jurisdiction.
But yeah, I totally get what you are saying.
On a side note, while not really related, just look at the process for getting a drivers license... first you have to take a written test, then you need to spend hours practicing under supervision of someone already licensed, and then you have to prove that you can actually drive by taking a road test.
And then you practice all the time by driving. Sure, the first few weeks or months might be a bit shaky, but unless you live in a place like Manhattan, you likely aren’t getting your liscense to never drive again.
@purplegoldfish2 - We won't get TWO minivans, but I think we need at least one. Part of my problem is the DH's family is VERY tall - He's 6'4, and he's shorter than most of the men (Dad is 6'6"). So many other cars could fit three across, but since we'll have three REAR FACING to start, it gets much more problematic to fit something behind his seat outside of a big minivan. Also, I'm concerned that the Diono seats aren't the best. I've done a lot of reading on this already, and it's just challenging.
Re gun safety and children: There's some research that shows that teaching kids about guns mostly gives parents a false sense of security and doesn't necessarily make the kids much safer. There was one study out of Alabama (big gun culture state) that showed the majority of parents were dead wrong about how much their kids knew about a) where the guns were stored (parents thought the kids didn't know, but the kids were able to say), as well as b) how to access them (e.g., they knew where the cabinet keys were kept). The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends that houses with children (not just young children, but also adolescents, who actually get MORE likely to hurt someone with a parent's gun) have no guns at all; but, if you must have guns, they be stored in a locked cabinet with the ammunition removed.
Also, the best evidence suggests that about 20% of guns in this country are sold without a background check. (You'll hear 40% cited, but that's old and inaccurate). That means that anyone with a criminal history, mental hospitalization history, domestic violence conviction, whatever, can quite easily buy guns and no one will blink an eye. THAT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE, but politicians of one of our two parties are, apparently, totally unwilling to change it.
PS. In most states, being added to the list to prevent new purchases does absolutely nothing to guns you already own. Fun fact.
***TW*** DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
First, I fully understand these things will never change bc voters wouldn't approve it and costs would be high. But I'd love to see it. One of my issues with the way we handle driver's licenses now is that, aside from moving states and other exceptions, once you get your license, that's it. I think as we age, we should be forced to take the road exam every few years (and more frequently in senior years.) I would argue the same for anyone with a gun / license to carry. Once you've got it, you need to resubmit every x years for a background check and mental health exam. We should be able to revoke gun and driving licenses much more systematically.
Overall, not sure if I agree on guns or not. There's certainly no 'need' and regulation should be MUCH tighter, but sometimes I've thought about what I would do if someone broke into my house and I couldn't defend myself. Still on the fence on that one.
So, full disclosure, Jim Jeffries is a dick. Saw him live a couple months ago and wound up yelling at him and leaving early, which I could’ve sworn was something I’d never do at a live performance. That being said, this bit makes some really good points on guns. Well worth a watch.
@chopchop25 yes so much to the idea of needing to be retested for your drivers license. My husband and I have been saying this for years! So many people out there (sorry if this seems like age discrimination, but particularly the elderly) have their licenses because they got them when they were young, but they’re now at a point where they really should not be driving anymore. If you can’t pass another road test (and vision test), then you shouldn’t be able to keep your license.
@DunkinDecaf We recently got a Nissan Pathfinder and we love it. The third row is actually pretty comfortable for adults and the second row has a seat that is able to slide and lean forward while a forward facing toddler car seat is installed on it, probably an infant one as well, so you can still get into the third row even if all the seats in the second row have car seats on them. It’s spacious. I have never tried to put three car seats across the row but I imagine there has to be some combination that works. When the third row is up the trunk space isn’t huge but you can put half down if you’re not using both seats in the back and that helps. When both seats are down the space is huge.
I'm going to avoid the gun debate because I come at it through a different lens than most and I realize that.
Though it's no longer Thurs, I guess my UO is that I dislike the emphasis placed on the gun debate when these terrible events occur, solely because it trivializes the, IMO, much more pressing and concerning issues surrounding mental healthcare and stigma in this country. No one stops to ask or focus on why this person made the decision to enter a school (or place of business, or church, or hotel, etc.) and start shooting. Why was that even a choice that was made? The reason I think that this is the more concerning issue is because at the end of the day, guns are just tools. Someone who is dedicated to their notion of taking others' lives will find a way to do it regardless of which tool they use. I understand that the counterpoint is that if guns were less accessible, it's one less tool, but there are plenty of readily available, everyday objects that can cause mass casualty and the internet can tell you just how easy it is to turn those everyday objects into frightening weapons.
Mental health is NOT the cause of gun violence. The vast majority of people with a mental health diagnosis are not violent at all. One study found that if all the mental health problems in this country were suddenly cured, only 4% violence would end. Moreover, people with a mental health diagnosis are far more likely to be victims of violence rather than perpetrators. We have no more mental health problems in this country than our peers, but we're outliers on gun violence, and only the availability of guns explains the discrepancy.
Focusing on mental health instead of guns is stigmatizing and wrong.
***TW*** DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
Re: mini-vans... I purchased a new Crosstrek 2 years ago, and a few months later, my husband purchased a new Wrangler. Is there any reading/articles anyone can point me to in regards to car-seat compatibility? I mean, at this point since the cars are so new, we're probably stuck with what we got. Just wondering, after seeing everyone talk about it, if there's more info out there.
@muchwanted. I see that i should have been more clear, because in fact these two points are often used to counter one another, and that's not the vein I was going for. Not once did I say that mental illness was the cause of gun violence. I also did not mention anything about individuals with mental health diagnoses.
My specific point was on the accessibility of and stigma against mental healthcare in this country. Which, again IMO, has a negative correlation to individual actions. I'm not at all saying that I think that we need to focus more on those with mental health diagnoses, but rather that we need to develop a more positive relationship with mental healthcare so the decision to engage in a mass shooting doesn't arise. Anyone who instigates a mass shooting undoubtedly has some serious deep seeded thoughts that require intervention.
Idk guys. My friends minivan has a button that moves the front seat up, the another button the tilts the second seat WITH a rearfacing car seat in it so that you have to enough room to get into the 3rd row. That and automatic sliding doors... idk how you beat that. Because my Acadia is comfortable for probably 6 adults (and other skinny adult) but add car seats and it's a whole different ball game.
With that, I think our system is severely lacking in control. That in order to purchase a gun you should be required to take a training course, get a license, and take safety courses. I think the background checks are too lax. I fully support a ban on bump stocks and limited capacity magazines.
Yess I agree so much!! I think it's awesome you want to get your permit. I just took a course recently on familiarizing yourself with a variety of handguns and I loved it! DH and I plan to buy a couple soon and I want to take a few more courses with the same instructors to get familiar with that specific gun and safety. I think if you know how to use it and are trained properly it isn't a problem to have one as well.
Re: UO Thursday (3/15)
The only nice thing that worked out is that now as an almost 5yo she's LOVES them. Plus they healed very nicely since she was too young to play with them and I was able to keep them clean well while they were healing.
BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016
BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
I bought a new car the week before I found out I was expect DS in 2015. It’s a Nissan Altima. It’s fine, But DH is tall and we can’t even RF in the middle. Wish a van was in our future! @kiwi2628 are you in Canada? No vans?
Re: home birth
I generally agree HOWEVER home birth has been heavily pushed on me this time around knowing it may be only option. My first birth was a precipitous Labour (less than 3 hrs) and I barely made it to hospital in time. This Labour will most likely be quicker and the possibility of delivery on the side of road is REAL. I don't want a home birth and am considering induction. But I do think in some cases, it can be your only safe option.
Re: epidural
I totally agree don't be a hero! I didn't have one with DS because there was no time. I do think everyone should go in prepared with the possibility it may not be an option.
Re: guns
I live in Canada lol I literally don't know a single person with a gun. The entire idea of it is seems so foreign to me! I do hope the U.S. tackles gun control soon on some level. Change is needed.
I do get the “no epidural” thing though. I didn’t have one with my first, but had one with my twins since there’s a really high c-section rate with attempted vaginal twin deliveries, and I didn’t want to be put to sleep if there was an emergency. I had them place it, and test it, then turn it off. I hated it while it was working. Crying ugly tears kind of hate. It's just not for me.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I completely understand what you mean about everything you do socially involves drinking. I live in St. Louis- home to Anheiser Bush; I could smell the brewery walking out of my coffee shop this evening- and it isn’t just the smell that permeates the city; alcohol is a huge aspect of everything social. It is a big joke in my department that I “don’t drink”, but I’ve had to learn all the defensive tactics that get discussed in the “how to hide that I’m not drinking” threads to make it through holiday parties and work conferences.
At the same time, because my colleagues and friends so rarely see me drink, there is no question as to why I don’t drink. And for the occasional person who asks “It’s free booze! Why aren’t you drinking?!?” It is really easy for me to say “because I choose not to”, and everyone around me knows that there isn’t an ulterior motive.
It’s not like people would have to completely give up alcohol before pregnancy, but it seems like it would reduce stress if their friends and colleagues knew that sometimes they don’t drink because they just don’t want a drink that night, so when they can’t have a drink for three months it isn’t news that someone isn’t drinking.
FYI -I’m not a teetotaler, I just rarely drink- especially since in most cases I am my own designated driver.
Also, Betsy DeVos is a complete moron who is highly unqualified for her position.
+1 for team SUV. I have a Honda CR-V and love it! It was close between that and the Subaru Forester. If we have more than two kids, I’d go for the Pilot, no question!
Canada has strict gun laws, and the gun deaths per capita is soooo much lower than America. Australia is 1.4 deaths per 1 million people, Canada is 5.1, and America is 29.7.
take over. In my opinion, having more people carrying guns, even if they’re the “good guys” doesn’t make make us any safer, it just presents more opportunities for things to turn deadly.
And I don’t agree with the argument that having good guys with guns will stop the bad guys with guns. I know it’s just one example, but just look at the school officer in the Parkland shooting. He was a “good guy” with a gun, and he didn’t even go in to try and stop it, despite his weapon. Obviously one person doesn’t make the case, but like I said earlier, I think that in many cases, the instinct to get away from a bad situation is stronger than the one to try and fight back.
The concept that good guys with guns promote safety is unfounded and I believe it also perpetuates fear mongering that is, quite frankly, way out of control.
For me, I’m not willing to invest that time, so I don’t own a handgun. Even if I did own one, I don’t think I would carry it concealed because of the restrictions on where I could do so. (What do you do with it when you go into a bank, school or the post office? Do I want to get fired if it is discovered on me at my office?)
Guns: I am all for people having guns. (Not all people, but they shouldn’t be completely banned.) Our neighbors protected our family with their gun when I was in high school. I also think everybody, whether you have a gun or not, needs to teach their kids gun safety. I saw a study (or test or something) where a real, unloaded gun was left in a room with kids for them to find. Kids that lived in houses with guns didn’t touch it because they had been taught how dangerous the gun was. Kids without guns at home picked it up and played with it. Obviously it was a bit biased because toddlers shoot people more often than never. The thing that stuck with me from that is that I don’t have a gun at home so I am far less likely to talk to my kids about what to do if they see a gun on the table at somebody else’s house. It definitely started some gun safety conversations at home.
My UO: Most people don’t think for themselves. They just follow whatever ideology they chose without really thinking about it and considering that some of the things they “believe” are only because somebody else told them to believe it.
Edit it for clarification
However, I still believe that if we didn't have guns...it wouldn't be an issue to stress so vehemently with our kiddos.
The bottom line, in my opinion, is that it’s way too easy to get guns in this country. If we had stricter laws like many other countries, regular people might not feel as much of a need to carry in order to protect themselves, because the same threat wouldn’t necessarily be there. I feel that people should have to jump through many more hoops to be able to get and carry a deadly weapon, and they should be required to be adequately trained in using it.
On a side note, while not really related, just look at the process for getting a drivers license... first you have to take a written test, then you need to spend hours practicing under supervision of someone already licensed, and then you have to prove that you can actually drive by taking a road test. Obviously this process isn’t foolproof because there’s tons of crappy drivers out there, but I feel that the idea of it is something that should be applied elsewhere as well if that makes sense.
You have more faith than I do. I’m pretty sure a lot of police officers and related LE, get initial training, and never step in a range again. It totally depends on the state and the jurisdiction.
But yeah, I totally get what you are saying.
And then you practice all the time by driving. Sure, the first few weeks or months might be a bit shaky, but unless you live in a place like Manhattan, you likely aren’t getting your liscense to never drive again.
Re gun safety and children: There's some research that shows that teaching kids about guns mostly gives parents a false sense of security and doesn't necessarily make the kids much safer. There was one study out of Alabama (big gun culture state) that showed the majority of parents were dead wrong about how much their kids knew about a) where the guns were stored (parents thought the kids didn't know, but the kids were able to say), as well as b) how to access them (e.g., they knew where the cabinet keys were kept). The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends that houses with children (not just young children, but also adolescents, who actually get MORE likely to hurt someone with a parent's gun) have no guns at all; but, if you must have guns, they be stored in a locked cabinet with the ammunition removed.
Also, the best evidence suggests that about 20% of guns in this country are sold without a background check. (You'll hear 40% cited, but that's old and inaccurate). That means that anyone with a criminal history, mental hospitalization history, domestic violence conviction, whatever, can quite easily buy guns and no one will blink an eye. THAT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE, but politicians of one of our two parties are, apparently, totally unwilling to change it.
PS. In most states, being added to the list to prevent new purchases does absolutely nothing to guns you already own. Fun fact.
DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
After much more of the same...
First, I fully understand these things will never change bc voters wouldn't approve it and costs would be high. But I'd love to see it.
One of my issues with the way we handle driver's licenses now is that, aside from moving states and other exceptions, once you get your license, that's it. I think as we age, we should be forced to take the road exam every few years (and more frequently in senior years.) I would argue the same for anyone with a gun / license to carry. Once you've got it, you need to resubmit every x years for a background check and mental health exam.
We should be able to revoke gun and driving licenses much more systematically.
Overall, not sure if I agree on guns or not. There's certainly no 'need' and regulation should be MUCH tighter, but sometimes I've thought about what I would do if someone broke into my house and I couldn't defend myself. Still on the fence on that one.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4g8777
Edited for spelling typo.
Though it's no longer Thurs, I guess my UO is that I dislike the emphasis placed on the gun debate when these terrible events occur, solely because it trivializes the, IMO, much more pressing and concerning issues surrounding mental healthcare and stigma in this country. No one stops to ask or focus on why this person made the decision to enter a school (or place of business, or church, or hotel, etc.) and start shooting. Why was that even a choice that was made? The reason I think that this is the more concerning issue is because at the end of the day, guns are just tools. Someone who is dedicated to their notion of taking others' lives will find a way to do it regardless of which tool they use. I understand that the counterpoint is that if guns were less accessible, it's one less tool, but there are plenty of readily available, everyday objects that can cause mass casualty and the internet can tell you just how easy it is to turn those everyday objects into frightening weapons.
Focusing on mental health instead of guns is stigmatizing and wrong.
DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
After much more of the same...
My specific point was on the accessibility of and stigma against mental healthcare in this country. Which, again IMO, has a negative correlation to individual actions. I'm not at all saying that I think that we need to focus more on those with mental health diagnoses, but rather that we need to develop a more positive relationship with mental healthcare so the decision to engage in a mass shooting doesn't arise. Anyone who instigates a mass shooting undoubtedly has some serious deep seeded thoughts that require intervention.
@kimberbeep are you a ftm? I can't remember.