For me, not wanting an epidural is all about the pain. I am a masochist. I actively choose to let people cause me physical pain for fun. There is a difference between bad pain and good pain. There is a difference between harm to your body and stressing your body’s limits. Labor is stressing your body, not causing harm (unless something is going wrong).
Yes, assuming my pregnancy goes smoothly, and I am able to vaginally deliver, at some point in my labor, I may choose to ask for an epidural, but I want to know what that pain feels like before I do so. It isn’t about martyrdom, it is about curiosity. Meow.
@knottieamusements I enjoy your freak flag. You should let it fly more often.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@knottieamusements fair enough! I will admit I did not think of that particular situation, but definitely another one to throw in my “I don’t understand why people run marathons” file. Do you, girl!
@knottieamusements fair enough! I will admit I did not think of that particular situation, but definitely another one to throw in my “I don’t understand why people run marathons” file. Do you, girl!
I assume those people are just a different kind of masochist.
And yeah- they are as weird as I am. One of my coworkers has a 50 State marathon challenge going on.
@knottieamusements fair enough! I will admit I did not think of that particular situation, but definitely another one to throw in my “I don’t understand why people run marathons” file. Do you, girl!
I assume those people are just a different kind of masochist.
And yeah- they are as weird as I am. One of my coworkers has a 50 State marathon challenge going on.
My “UO” is that I hate the term “UO!” We are all entitled to our own opinions!! Sure, people may disagree with an opinion, but as long as we can discuss them in a mature and respectful fashion, they are simply opinions. Why do we need the title unpopular opinion?
My UO is I wish people wouldn't share news (and I mean like actual news, not personal news) on places like FB. People take everything at word and I think it creates so much false information out there about medical things, politics, environmental issues etc... I also don't think that we should treat peoples opinions as equally sacred as facts.
@pumpkinpancake There's a challenge going on in my local rec center to "swim across a great lake", as in swimming enough laps in their pool to cross 56 miles. The time frame was January to April. And I thought THAT was crazy.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
My UO is I wish people wouldn't share news (and I mean like actual news, not personal news) on places like FB. People take everything at word and I think it creates so much false information out there about medical things, politics, environmental issues etc... I also don't think that we should treat peoples opinions as equally sacred as facts.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to comment on some people’s posts with an article de-bunking whatever crap they posted - an article that took me 5 seconds to find.
My UO is I wish people wouldn't share news (and I mean like actual news, not personal news) on places like FB. People take everything at word and I think it creates so much false information out there about medical things, politics, environmental issues etc... I also don't think that we should treat peoples opinions as equally sacred as facts.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to comment on some people’s posts with an article de-bunking whatever crap they posted - an article that took me 5 seconds to find.
This. It’s not that I mind people sharing news. It’s that what they share is never REAL news. It’s almost always extremely biased, full of misinformation, an opinion piece or flat out not true.
When people share legit and unbiased news stories that’s fine, but I rarely see those.
@ladyofarlington - I think that by calling it “Unpopular Opinion”, it allows all of us space to talk about things that we know might be controversial, and warns people up front that they may feel judged for the choices they make.
For example, I think it would be very rude to go into the “Things I miss...” thread, and tell people that I think them missing wine is awful, and have they considered that they may have an unhealthy dependence on it. But I can say that here without stifling that discussion and also giving other people who may quietly share that opinion a chance to air it.
I also have to agree with @lynzev - I thought I might be throwing a molatov cocktail into the room with my UO, but even the people who have disagreed have done so in a constructive manner. This group is pretty awesome.
This will be very UO, and maybe a little FFFC. I'm actually thinking about taking my concealed weapons permit course a week from Saturday. It does include range time, but I've done research that it's safe at this stage since it's outdoors. My husband carries on a regular basis. We have two handguns in a safe next to his bed. We both ride motorcycles and I feel that when riding alone it's better to carry.
I grew up as a military daughter. I've been around guns for a good portion of my life. My 6yo SS knows the importance of gun safety. He knows if he ever finds one not locked up to find a adult immediately.
With that, I think our system is severely lacking in control. That in order to purchase a gun you should be required to take a training course, get a license, and take safety courses. I think the background checks are too lax. I fully support a ban on bump stocks and limited capacity magazines.
Re: Guns. I have had my CCW for ~5 years but have never actually owned a gun. I went to the shooting range one time and had a panic attack before I even started. I decided that if it came down to it and I needed to take action and shoot someone, I don't think I could do it. So I made the decision that I personally would not be a responsible gun owner, but have no problem with others owning them.
Re: FB "news" I deleted my FB account 4 years ago and it's the best decision I've ever made. Yes, I do miss out on some events and family stuff. But not seeing all the bullshit every day is SO WORTH IT. I do have an Instagram, but that's my only social media account. And sometimes that gets annoying too.
Re: Minivans I am solidly team wagon. I am going to try and avoid the minivan as long as humanly possible.
I love that we are getting a good quality UO thread this week!
It's taken me a lot to get to this point, so here it goes:
minivans are the best and SUVs just do not compare.
I was SO anti-minivan. I really wanted a Porsche Cayenne, but with a baby and two dogs, it just wasn’t enough space. Then looked at the Durango. More space, but hard to into the 3rd row. I begrudgingly test drove a Pacifica. Sold. So much space, and still nice to drive. We did a road trip to Disneyland with 4 adults, a baby, and all our stuff and the van still felt roomy and comfy. Minivan for life (or until kids are out of the house).
I'm so annoyed with myself. I was so antivan so I got a GMC Acadia with all the bells and whistles. I can hardly get into my 3rd row, and it only has one top tether for car seats. I think we'll be buying a Chrysler Pacifica in sept and I'm so excited!
This thread is making me reconsider my car plans. H and I have always been vehemently anti-mini van (even though my first car was a mini van and it will always hold a special place in my heart) and we’re working on a list of cars to test drive. We’re going to need to upgrade my mommy wagon before this baby comes. Anyone here pro-SUV? Any pros and cons or favorite vehicles from either team?
@DunkinDecaf I have a Ford Escape and I love her. I don't/won't ever have a minivan- they literally don't exist where I live; no one has them (I actually never thought about that until this thread and I don't know why, but I never see them). Granted I have never had kids so my opinion is pretty much moot, but there it is, lol
Thank you to the people who posted about loving their minivans! If we are really having twins we're going to need one, and it kills me. We'll test drive on the second trimester as needed.
Also, I'm definitely one of those people who really, really misses alcohol. I have a glass of wine almost every day after work, and it's a big part of my stress relief. I rarely drink more than one drink in a day, but man. I miss it!
***TW*** DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
@DunkinDecaf I have a Ford Escape and I love her. I don't/won't ever have a minivan- they literally don't exist where I live; no one has them (I actually never thought about that until this thread and I don't know why, but I never see them). Granted I have never had kids so my opinion is pretty much moot, but there it is, lol
The Ford escapes backseat is tiny. My husband and I couldn't comfortably put our seats back enough with the rear facing car seats. Granted we are definitely tall, but @DunkinDecaf is going to have 3 kids and that wouldn't fit.
So the only SUVs that I think I would consider would be that new chevy traverse, the VW Tiguan, and a Honda Pilot. I would just double check the top tether positions of the 3rd row.
This thread is making me reconsider my car plans. H and I have always been vehemently anti-mini van (even though my first car was a mini van and it will always hold a special place in my heart) and we’re working on a list of cars to test drive. We’re going to need to upgrade my mommy wagon before this baby comes. Anyone here pro-SUV? Any pros and cons or favorite vehicles from either team?
I only checked out the interior of the Odyssey, but it seemed cheap to me.
Pacifica is nice, but we’ve had issues with the electronics. Our warranty is solid, but it’s a pain. Stow and go seats are amaaaaazing.
One thing I’d suggest is hauling the car seat(s) around while test driving to really get a feel for how much room a backseat does or doesn’t have. That was key for us. The Durango was nice and seemed huge, but when we had the car seat in there, the space really wasn’t all that great.
I want the Odyssey for the sliding second row seat! Meanwhile, DH is obsessed with the hybrid Pacifica. Our state has really good incentives for hybrids.
Re SUVs: if there's even a small chance you might have three kids (like twins!), Never buy the Rav4. It's a great vehicle, but they're jerks that decided to make three cars seats completely impossible. Lots of other SUVs can squeeze them in. If we had it to do again, we'd get the Forester.
***TW*** DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
@ladyofarlington - I think that by calling it “Unpopular Opinion”, it allows all of us space to talk about things that we know might be controversial, and warns people up front that they may feel judged for the choices they make.
For example, I think it would be very rude to go into the “Things I miss...” thread, and tell people that I think them missing wine is awful, and have they considered that they may have an unhealthy dependence on it. But I can say that here without stifling that discussion and also giving other people who may quietly share that opinion a chance to air it.
I also have to agree with @lynzev - I thought I might be throwing a molatov cocktail into the room with my UO, but even the people who have disagreed have done so in a constructive manner. This group is pretty awesome.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. (Said in a “yes, I understnd” tone not in a dismissive one.) I’ve shared the same sentiment on other message boards as well. I understand the point, I dislike the title haha.
Boo, the rest of my post disappeared... my attempt at rewriting it below...
I think “controversial opinions” or “controversial topics” is a better thread name, IMO, but I know it’s a “thing” on boards. It always seems many of the opinions are not actually unpopular, and many people often agree, but they are often controversial. I must say I’m impressed (so far) that people here seem to be kind, open minded, and able to respectfully engage in debate on controversial opinions!
My first post was articulated much better; stupid ap!
@sammierose464 Good choice! I was looking at getting a Focus RS a couple days before my BFP. I'll have two under two now so I'm glad that I didn't pull the trigger yet!
We have a Honda Pilot and I love it! We just have ond but want at least three so I wonder if we will still love it save much with multiple. However we are upgrading DH’s accord this summer so we will be test driving trucks.... and mini vans to his dismay! If we go the minivan route he gets the Pilot so it’s not the worst situation for him.
I don't look at my board all day and come to see this thread with so many posts made me think some drama ensued but instead was met with some tame banter! I agree with all the unpopular opinions. Especially with the football and sports in general! My hubby loves all sports especially football. I put in NY wedding vows that he will forever be able to watch football. I just can't stand watching sports on TV. Take me to the game and I'm having fun!
My UO is piercing babies or very young girls ears. I strongly believe that it should be the choice of the little girl, not because the parents want them to look more girlie. So until they can ask themselves they should not get their ears pierced.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@sammierose464 Good choice! I was looking at getting a Focus RS a couple days before my BFP. I'll have two under two now so I'm glad that I didn't pull the trigger yet!
They announced they were bringing the RS to the US right after I bought my ST. I absolutely love it though. DH has an Escape, so we have a bigger car at least.
Vans: my DH was VERY anti-van! When #3 was on the way, we knew we had to go bigger (So sad about my subaru outback! Loved that car!). I wasn't necessarily against a Sub of some kind, but was not enthused about the gas millage. We went with a Toyota Sienna and I love it! It is so much easier getting the kids in and out with just a button for the sliding doors and for car trips, they are far enough apart that they can't touch each other, which is sometimes important!
I don’t necessarily thinking giving up wine is a big deal, but I do think that in some social circles, not having a glass of wine or a cocktail when you go out to dinner with friends on the weekends is always a red flag to “out” a pregnancy.
I enjoy a nice nice glass of wine or two on the weekends. It’s a social thing. I rarely drink during the week (unless I’m at a work happy hour or a friend’a birthday). However, I almost always order a glass of wine or a cocktail with my meal while dining out on the weekends. Whether it’s a mimosa with brunch, a new fun cocktail specialty at dinner or a glass of wine with dinner, or even sharing a bottle of wine with friends, weekend dinner plans with friends almost always involve a drink. Honestly, I do not miss drinking, but I do get nervous about being “outed” on my pregnancy before we are ready to share the news.
I’ll be completely honest... I had a few sips of a glass of wine when DH and I had dinner at a friend’s house. I also ordered a glass of wine at my sister’s bachelorette dinner and had a few sips. Additionally, I also ordered a mimosa at brunch with friends and had a few sips.
I think key here is that I only had a few sips (after extensively discussing this with my OB) and only because it’s easier to have a few sips than reveal my secret. I also think its definitely a cultural thing that certain countries are hyper sensitive to it and I find it absolutely fascinating!
As soon as we announce, I do not plan to order any more disguises. I honestly do not miss wine, but I have become more aware about its centralized presence among my group of friends. Thankfully I can easily say I gave it up for Lent until we announce.
I do plan to actually have a couple sips of champagne when I give my MOH speeches and toast at my sister’s wedding and my BFF’s wedding, though. Again, I spoke at length with my OB about this and my OB strongly believes a handful of sips throughout a pregnancy is really no big deal. If I thought it would harm the baby in any way shape or form I would not have any alcohol.
I also think it is it is funny that I know I will probably be judged for admitting that I’ve had and will have a few sips of wine / champagne during my pregnancy because it inaccurately depicts my life and makes me seem like I need it or depend on it or something, when in actuality it is a purely social thing. Different strokes for different folks.
OH! And one of my besties (who was born in a European country) shared that her midwife advised her that if she went into labor at night, she should have a glass of wine and go back to sleep before heading to the hospital. I thought that was so interesting!
@ladyofarlington I’ve said this before, but I always take a small sip of whatever DH is drinking. Tiny amounts like that are so unlikely to do anything (I’m sure I’m doing more harm breathing smoggy California air, honestly) and the sips I take are all I need to get over any hankering I have for a drink.
Re: UO Thursday (3/15)
DunkinDecaf said:And while I’m ruffling feathers, I soooo don’t get FTMs who are adamantly against epidurals. I get that perspective from STMs who had a bad experience with an epi during a previous delivery, but otherwise... come on man. Don’t be a martyr. Choosing to be in pain makes no sense to me.
FTM here, and I don’t want an epidural.
TW for waving my freak flag and possibly TMI
For me, not wanting an epidural is all about the pain. I am a masochist. I actively choose to let people cause me physical pain for fun. There is a difference between bad pain and good pain. There is a difference between harm to your body and stressing your body’s limits. Labor is stressing your body, not causing harm (unless something is going wrong).
Yes, assuming my pregnancy goes smoothly, and I am able to vaginally deliver, at some point in my labor, I may choose to ask for an epidural, but I want to know what that pain feels like before I do so. It isn’t about martyrdom, it is about curiosity. Meow.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
And yeah- they are as weird as I am. One of my coworkers has a 50 State marathon challenge going on.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
of misinformation, an opinion piece or flat out not true.
When people share legit and unbiased news stories that’s fine, but I rarely see those.
For example, I think it would be very rude to go into the “Things I miss...” thread, and tell people that I think them missing wine is awful, and have they considered that they may have an unhealthy dependence on it. But I can say that here without stifling that discussion and also giving other people who may quietly share that opinion a chance to air it.
I also have to agree with @lynzev - I thought I might be throwing a molatov cocktail into the room with my UO, but even the people who have disagreed have done so in a constructive manner. This group is pretty awesome.
I grew up as a military daughter. I've been around guns for a good portion of my life. My 6yo SS knows the importance of gun safety. He knows if he ever finds one not locked up to find a adult immediately.
With that, I think our system is severely lacking in control. That in order to purchase a gun you should be required to take a training course, get a license, and take safety courses. I think the background checks are too lax. I fully support a ban on bump stocks and limited capacity magazines.
I have had my CCW for ~5 years but have never actually owned a gun. I went to the shooting range one time and had a panic attack before I even started. I decided that if it came down to it and I needed to take action and shoot someone, I don't think I could do it. So I made the decision that I personally would not be a responsible gun owner, but have no problem with others owning them.
Re: FB "news"
I deleted my FB account 4 years ago and it's the best decision I've ever made. Yes, I do miss out on some events and family stuff. But not seeing all the bullshit every day is SO WORTH IT. I do have an Instagram, but that's my only social media account. And sometimes that gets annoying too.
Re: Minivans
I am solidly team wagon. I am going to try and avoid the minivan as long as humanly possible.
I love that we are getting a good quality UO thread this week!
Thank you to the people who posted about loving their minivans! If we are really having twins we're going to need one, and it kills me. We'll test drive on the second trimester as needed.
Also, I'm definitely one of those people who really, really misses alcohol. I have a glass of wine almost every day after work, and it's a big part of my stress relief. I rarely drink more than one drink in a day, but man. I miss it!
DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
After much more of the same...
Pacifica is nice, but we’ve had issues with the electronics. Our warranty is solid, but it’s a pain. Stow and go seats are amaaaaazing.
One thing I’d suggest is hauling the car seat(s) around while test driving to really get a feel for how much room a backseat does or doesn’t have. That was key for us. The Durango was nice and seemed huge, but when we had the car seat in there, the space really wasn’t all that great.
Re SUVs: if there's even a small chance you might have three kids (like twins!), Never buy the Rav4. It's a great vehicle, but they're jerks that decided to make three cars seats completely impossible. Lots of other SUVs can squeeze them in. If we had it to do again, we'd get the Forester.
DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
After much more of the same...
My 6yo fits fine, but we will see how adding a rear facing car seat and not just a booster seat.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. (Said in a “yes, I understnd” tone not in a dismissive one.) I’ve shared the same sentiment on other message boards as well. I understand the point, I dislike the title haha.
Boo, the rest of my post disappeared... my attempt at rewriting it below...
I think “controversial opinions” or “controversial topics” is a better thread name, IMO, but I know it’s a “thing” on boards. It always seems many of the opinions are not actually unpopular, and many people often agree, but they are often controversial. I must say I’m impressed (so far) that people here seem to be kind, open minded, and able to respectfully engage in debate on controversial opinions!
My first post was articulated much better; stupid ap!
My UO is piercing babies or very young girls ears. I strongly believe that it should be the choice of the little girl, not because the parents want them to look more girlie. So until they can ask themselves they should not get their ears pierced.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
I don’t necessarily thinking giving up wine is a big deal, but I do think that in some social circles, not having a glass of wine or a cocktail when you go out to dinner with friends on the weekends is always a red flag to “out” a pregnancy.
I enjoy a nice nice glass of wine or two on the weekends. It’s a social thing. I rarely drink during the week (unless I’m at a work happy hour or a friend’a birthday). However, I almost always order a glass of wine or a cocktail with my meal while dining out on the weekends. Whether it’s a mimosa with brunch, a new fun cocktail specialty at dinner or a glass of wine with dinner, or even sharing a bottle of wine with friends, weekend dinner plans with friends almost always involve a drink. Honestly, I do not miss drinking, but I do get nervous about being “outed” on my pregnancy before we are ready to share the news.
I’ll be completely honest... I had a few sips of a glass of wine when DH and I had dinner at a friend’s house. I also ordered a glass of wine at my sister’s bachelorette dinner and had a few sips. Additionally, I also ordered a mimosa at brunch with friends and had a few sips.
I think key here is that I only had a few sips (after extensively discussing this with my OB) and only because it’s easier to have a few sips than reveal my secret. I also think its definitely a cultural thing that certain countries are hyper sensitive to it and I find it absolutely fascinating!
As soon as we announce, I do not plan to order any more disguises. I honestly do not miss wine, but I have become more aware about its centralized presence among my group of friends. Thankfully I can easily say I gave it up for Lent until we announce.
I do plan to actually have a couple sips of champagne when I give my MOH speeches and toast at my sister’s wedding and my BFF’s wedding, though. Again, I spoke at length with my OB about this and my OB strongly believes a handful of sips throughout a pregnancy is really no big deal. If I thought it would harm the baby in any way shape or form I would not have any alcohol.
I also think it is it is funny that I know I will probably be judged for admitting that I’ve had and will have a few sips of wine / champagne during my pregnancy because it inaccurately depicts my life and makes me seem like I need it or depend on it or something, when in actuality it is a purely social thing. Different strokes for different folks.
OH! And one of my besties (who was born in a European country) shared that her midwife advised her that if she went into labor at night, she should have a glass of wine and go back to sleep before heading to the hospital. I thought that was so interesting!