UO Thursday (3/15)

mytrueloves · March 2018

knottieamusements · March 2018

Okay- this is definitely going to ruffle some feathers, but—

I don’t get why giving up wine/alcohol while pregnant is such a big deal to so many expectant mothers. I honestly have to wonder if people are using wine as an emotional crutch, or have some reliance on it that they are unwilling to admit to.

I’ll freely admit that (pregnancy aside), I rarely drink, but I find both the humor around women and wine (such as birthday cards, cutesy gifts, memes) and the comments about it being what pregnant women miss most to be rather disturbing.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

@knottieamusements definitely agree that the culture around women and wine is weird and a little irritating. Some of those cards and memes imply that women can’t handle their lives without alcohol. I totally get why many women miss it during pregnancy though. I have a glass or two, or a beer almost every evening when I’m not pregnant and it helps me unwind. I don’t miss it now bc I’m constantly nauseous but with my last pregnancy I craved dark beer hard for the last couple months.

ninji15 · March 2018

@knottieamusements I never really drink at all, but I see the appeal of an occasional one here and there (like once a year if that honestly). But like, applebees mudslides are the only things I like because chocolate. Now that its off limits I sometimes catch myself wanting it more than before when I didn't care at all. I guess it may be just wanting what you can't have in general for some. Otherwise I totally agree.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

*deep breath* I think choosing home birth is irresponsible. I have not heard a reason yet for a home birth that makes sense to me.

And while I’m ruffling feathers, I soooo don’t get FTMs who are adamantly against epidurals. I get that perspective from STMs who had a bad experience with an epi during a previous delivery, but otherwise... come on man. Don’t be a martyr. Choosing to be in pain makes no sense to me.

sammierose464 · March 2018

I think I'm more disappointed that hard cider companies keep releasing new flavors and I can't try them! I mostly just miss the taste. There are days when it just sounds good.

I have no issue with having pain meds during birth, I'm more afraid of the needle itself! Although, the conversation in one of the threads about them made me feel a lot better.

jengibre_zorro · March 2018

@DunkinDecaf - i'm with you on this one. Yes, people were born outside of hospitals for centuries. We also didn't have dental care back then. It exists now, and we should use it.
This strikes a nerve because i have reason to believe my neighbors who had the "surprise twin" during the home birth weren't actually surprised, but were actually lying so that they could have a twin home birth, which is illegal in MI. I'm all for going the natural route if that's what fulfills you, but at what cost?

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

@jengibre_zorro gahhhh that’s scary. So what would they have lied to the dr when they had the ultrasound or something? I’m confused

ninji15 · March 2018

Football is boring. There, I said it.

sammierose464 · March 2018

@ninji15 you are not alone

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

ninji15 said:

Football is boring. There, I said it.

cjx95 · March 2018

@sammierose464 yes I miss ciders soo much!! I can't wait for fall to pretend regular apple cider is alcoholic *sighs*

mytrueloves · March 2018

@DunkinDecaf I don't think that's that unpopular of an opinion tbh

ninji15 · March 2018

@DunkinDecaf You heard me!

kimberbeep · March 2018

DunkinDecaf said:

And while I’m ruffling feathers, I soooo don’t get FTMs who are adamantly against epidurals.

Like @sammierose464 said - it's not the meds, it's the needles. And then people say, "Well, you don't *see* the needle..."

Yeah but, think of it like a spider phobia - you see spider, spider crawls behind furniture, now you can't sleep because YOU KNOW IT'S THERE!!

tinattt23 · March 2018

While home birth isn’t for me, I get why some people go that route. Assuming your relatively nearby to a hospital and have a competent midwife who wouldn’t hesitate to transfer if there were any indication to do so (though there are a lot who don’t, but that’s a different issue), there are very few things that can become sudden emergencies without any kind of indication beforehand that things may be going south. However, you are rolling the dice that those very rare things won’t happen. That slim chance is why I personally don’t do it.

I wouldn’t say that I was adamantly against epidurals with my first, but it definitely wasn’t my plan A. There’s a million reasons why I chose to give birth without any meds, but being a martyr definitely isn’t one of them. It’s not that I’m choosing to be in pain, I just decide that, for myself, the risks/side effects of different interventions aren’t worth it. But I realize that things can change during (or even before) birth that tip the balance and push the benefit above the risk. I also could care less whether or not someone else wants to get an epi. Everyone gets to weigh their own pros and cons and make their own choice.

sliztee · March 2018

Y'all ready to get political up in here?

I don't think anyone should need or want a gun. Especially city dwellers, like myself.

sliztee · March 2018

@knottieamusements @DunkinDecaf Oh man, I love me a glass of wine (or two) after work. I also enjoy long walks on the beach and bubble baths.

Futhermore, epidural? More like epi-fuckyes. Give me all the drugs.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

@kimberbeep @sammierose464 totally get being nervous about the needle. That’s not what I meant at all. I meant when you hear people saying they would *never* do an epi because they want a med free birth. I just don’t get that.

@tinattt23 idk. There are usually no lasting issues or side effects. Certainly with you on the “you do you thing” though. I put med-free birth in the same category as running marathons. Clearly some people find it rewarding, but I just genuinely don’t get it.

pumpkinpancake · March 2018

I seem to agree with a lot of the “unpopular” opinions today.

@DunkinDecaf I 100% agree about the home births. There is absolutely no reason to risk the health and life of your baby and yourself just to give birth at home. Even if you’re close to a hospital, if things go wrong, even minutes can make a difference.

I will say though, when I was pregnant with DS, I was pretty adamant about not wanting an epidural (I didn’t rule it out altogether but told myself that I didn’t want it), mainly because I didn’t want to be constrained to the bed and wanted to be able to feel my contractions to more effectively push. I kept an open mind though, and would never try to convince someone else one way or the other.

@stithof yes, yes 100% yes. In my opinion, guns have no place in the home (unless you’re military/police).

@knottieamusements I also don’t really get the alcohol thing. Granted, I was never a huge drinker pre-pregnancy, but I did enjoy a hard cider or wine here and there. That being said, I don’t miss it at all really.

quiltandknit · March 2018

FTM here and leaning toward no epidural. But strangely, it’s not about the pain. I think having half my body numb and being not allowed to get up and move would be super scary. Lack of control over my body would be the issue. However I am fully aware that once labor starts I may change my mind, and that’s okay too. You know what they say about best laid plans...

cdepperschmidt · March 2018

@knottieamusements I actually completely agree. People keep saying oh you must miss drinking. No, actually i haven’t wanted one once. I do however miss not feeling like crap or enjoying food.

@DunkinDecaf i agree with you on both. I don’t want the slim risk of having an issue and not being in a hospital and without my epidural I think labor would have been unbearable.

My UO or maybe not, idk? I think Betsy Devos is literally the biggest bitch. She is trying very hard to ruin public education and she has no fucking clue what she is talking about ever. Also, I can’t stand her fake smile.

klpv415 · March 2018

@stithof Dannnng pullin out the big guns! (See what I did there

)
This may not be the place for this, but I'm genuinely curious to hear more about your opinion. I carry a gun in my purse with me and have a license for it, have gone through training on how to use it, etc, and I keep mine for protection in case I was ever in a situation where I needed to defend myself. That being said, I believe in access to guns but I also believe in gun control and that in no circumstances should any Joe-or Jane Blow walk up off the street or whatever and just be able to purchase a deadly weapon all willy-nilly.

kiwi2628 · March 2018

I find almost none of these opinions to be unpopular...I am agreeing with basically everyone in here, it's great.

sliztee · March 2018

@lynzev Appreciated pun.

This is another unpopular opinion, but even if someone forced me to hold a gun, I would not fire it at someone. I don't believe in any type of violence; physical, mental, emotional, verbal, etc.

Also, it genuinely scares the hell out of me that you carry a gun in your purse. I can't fathom the necessity of that and can only imagine very terrible outcomes.

That said, I'm glad you at least support gun control. That's more than can be said for many gun owners.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

@cdepperschmidt never in my life have I met, spoken to on the internet, or even heard of anyone who likes Betsy DeVos. She is a willfully ignorant moron.

About the guns thing. I’ve never fired a gun in my life, and certainly don’t want one in my home. That said I can imagine wanting one and I think some well regulated guns should be legal. If I had an abusive husband, or a family member with mental health/substance abuse issues who might just show up at my house and threaten me or my kids, I would want a shotgun and I can see myself shooting someone with it.

cdepperschmidt · March 2018

In regards to the gun thing. I really don’t like guns. They make me uncomfortable. My H has one. I went shooting once. I with @stithof I don’t think I could fire it in a tense situation. Also, if the idiot idea to arm teachers takes off I’m finding another job.

klpv415 · March 2018

@stithof Totally get where you're coming from. I think I have a very skewed (read: jaded) view of the world because of my line of work, which is in a maximum security prison which is noted as one of the worst in the country based upon the number of violent offenders we have. I tend to be very scared of the world we live in so I keep a weapon for protection, because I've seen how dangerous people can truly be. It's in a secure holster and has a safety on it so I don't have to be concerned with an accident while its in my bag, and once I have a child I'll re-think this entirely because I don't want it anywhere near him/her.

Edited to add: I will say that even before I took this job, I owned my firearm. I just never carried it on me until I had a terrifying experience after I started working here, and the experience took place outside of work. But I grew up with my father hunting so we had guns in the home but they were always locked in a safe and gun safety is top priority.

Edited again to add: After reading other posts, I want to clarify, just in case, that my gun is a basic handgun as well. I don't walk around with an AR-15 in my bag.

mytrueloves · March 2018

It's my opinion that everyone should be taught how to operate and shoot guns for emergency situations. I don't own a gun and I'm pro-gun control but I feel like it's a good skill to know. In the same vein, I think it's important for people to learn to hunt and fish and then harvest / prepare it safely, again for emergency purposes. I consider it part of learning survival skills.
And this is coming from someone who was a long time vegetarian and then vegan.

kimberbeep · March 2018

@mytrueloves - While I get the idea behind what you're saying, I'll just eat grass. It's fine.

mytrueloves · March 2018

@kimberbeep Fair enough

klpv415 · March 2018

@kimberbeep I don't think grass has that much nutritional value haha. You probably wanna at least find some fruits and beans.

Lisa3379 · March 2018

Let’s see...

There is nothing better than a glass of wine after a rough day. I miss it, but I’m not fiending over it. Mmm... wine. Ok I’m done.

Totally weirded out by people wanting to give birth at home, unless the hospital in their area is total crap or they were traumatized somehow once. Assistance at the push of a button? Yes please. Help on-site if the shit hits the fan? Umm, duh. No brainer for me.

Guns. We have two guns at our house - basic handguns. Locked up and out of sight. I like the fact they are here just in case, but I see zero reason for anyone to have weapons that can fire dozens of rounds in a matter of seconds, other than to feel like Rambo. And I think the whole “we need to protect ourselves from a tyrannical government” is a disingenous reason. Although with our current administration...

Betsy DeVos is an absolute moron... but that seems to be par for the course for anyone connected with the Trump circus. They’re either breathtakingly incompetent, unabashed liars, or completely corrupt.

My UO? Health care should be free for everyone.

sliztee · March 2018

@DunkinDecaf As someone who was a domestic violence advocate for 8 years, having a gun in the home with an abusive partner increases the chances of the victim being murdered by at least 400%. There presence alone typically escalates a situation, not deescalate.

KFrob · March 2018

@kimberbeep I have a fear of spiders, in throws of labor I wouldn't notice or care if they were crawling on me haha. I feel like the pain quickly gets you over fears. I've never been so strong and in control in my life as when they told me not to move while contracting to get that epi! I honestly don't know how anyone does it without one, but then again I was completely unprepared (no classes, or hypnobabies, or anything).

pumpkinpancake · March 2018

@Lisa3379 yes to healthcare! So much is wrong with the health insurance system in the US, and it amazes me that the government is too concerned with the bottom line for the insurance companies and for the money in their pockets to give health insurance as a right to everyone.

On a a side note, I must say I’m really enjoying the UO thread today. Lots of controversial opinions, and all respect so far!

hellopartyof5 · March 2018

It's taken me a lot to get to this point, so here it goes:

minivans are the best and SUVs just do not compare.

tinattt23 · March 2018

@KFrob I think there is such a difference between a planned med free birth and a surprise one. It’s one thing going into with a certain mindset and coping tools and mechanisms. It’s another to be thrown into it with no preparation. Way more traumatizing I’d imagine. So maybe my UP, I think everyone should arm themselves, at least little bit, with some pain management techniques, no matter your plan. You never know if you may have that super fast labor with no time for an epi or if the anesthesiologist is going to be back up and take three hours to get to you.

mytrueloves · March 2018

@Lisa3379 I completely agree with that UO

I guess my UO is that I'm switching to midwife care and opting for a home birth if all checks out at the NT and anatomy scans and my OB maintains that I'm low risk. My hospital birth with DD was completely awful and not in the "they didn't listen to my birth plan!" way but the "medical incompetence nearly made me lose my uterus" way. That being said, I waiver sometimes because while the birth was terrible, the room service, round the clock care, and night time nursery were awesome post-birth.

DunkinDecaf · March 2018

stithof said:

@DunkinDecaf As someone who was a domestic violence advocate for 8 years, having a gun in the home with an abusive partner increases the chances of the victim being murdered by at least 400%. There presence alone typically escalates a situation, not deescalate.

I was imagining a situation where they did not live with me. It would obviously matter what the deal was. I also can’t imagine having an abusive partner who lives with me and my kids (though I know that may be a naive thing to say), so in my head this is a “someone shows up at my house” situation.

Lisa3379 · March 2018

hellopartyof5 said:

It's taken me a lot to get to this point, so here it goes:

minivans are the best and SUVs just do not compare.

I was SO anti-minivan. I really wanted a Porsche Cayenne, but with a baby and two dogs, it just wasn’t enough space. Then looked at the Durango. More space, but hard to into the 3rd row. I begrudgingly test drove a Pacifica. Sold. So much space, and still nice to drive. We did a road trip to Disneyland with 4 adults, a baby, and all our stuff and the van still felt roomy and comfy. Minivan for life (or until kids are out of the house).

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