I am so glad that I am not the only one who finds “gender” reveal parties awful - and primarily for the reason of putting baby in a box.
I also wish a greater proportion of baby’s and children’s clothing was gender neutral. Or maybe just that the social perception that pink, lavender and flowers can only be girl things, and blue, dump trucks, and dinosaurs are boy things didn’t exist.
@knottieamusements We plan on reusing DD's baby clothes, which are mostly super pink and frilly because all of them were gifts, with this baby regardless of sex and we're intentionally team green to avoid overly "gendered" baby clothes.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@knottieamusements I so wanted to be team green with my first but got pressured into finding out. Now with most of my family cut off, I don't have to worry about that this time Of course there are other reasons to be team green, but we both agreed we wanted to avoid the overabundance of pink or blue baby gifts.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@knottieamusements and @mytrue i was team green with my first for basically those same reasons. Shopping consignment somehow made it easier for me to look at piece by piece for a baby rather than feel boxed in, but it helped that my goodwill didn't separate out the clothes, just grouped them by color.
We're pretty Disney obsessed but I think it's different strokes for different folks. Some people spend their money on ATV'S, or RV'S, or on expensive camping gear, that's just not us. For us it's actually a pretty affordable vacation (we live 3 hours out, have a family home 10 minutes away, and pay for annual passes the same way we do for the zoo). It ends up being a nice, cheap getaway for us (less than we'd spend eating out that weekend). Our best friends have a boat and spend more than we do, and that's just not our thing. We traveled extensively in addition to this too though, and plan to continue that with our kids, Disney just is our break.
I can't wait to take my son to Disney. His mom took him a few years ago and they did Epcot and Magic Kingdom. I can't wait to take a week long trip and do all of the parks. However, I think its because of my own experiences growing up. I've been to Disney and Universal several times. I lucked out that my grandparents were able to take us every few years. Our goal was to go next year, but the baby may push that back. However, I've heard going with an infant is actually pretty easy because they are very baby friendly.
@kiwi2628 YES! If I am going to be spending that kind of money- we will be traveling for sure! Not going to Disney. I knew it was stupid expensive, but I guess I never wrapped my mind around how expensive. It's a shame too. I'm sure it's a fun place to take kids when they are little (but old enough to get it). I went when I was 8 and remember having a fantastic time. I just cant see spending that kind of money on it now though!
@knottieamusementsWe plan on reusing DD's baby clothes, which are mostly super pink and frilly because all of them were gifts, with this baby regardless of sex and we're intentionally team green to avoid overly "gendered" baby clothes.
Gah I accidentally quoted twice and the ghost box won’t go away. Anyway, yeah this is us too. I have two daughters and a MIL with pretty frilly taste who LOVES to shop. At this point we’re pretty much stocked on kids stuff/clothing, and I’m not buying new things for this kid because his coat is the “wrong” color. Boy or girl, this kid is going to be wearing a lot of pinks and purples.
I have two daughters and a MIL with pretty frilly taste who LOVES to shop. At this point we’re pretty much stocked on kids stuff/clothing, and I’m not buying new things for this kid because his coat is the “wrong” color. Boy or girl, this kid is going to be wearing a lot of pinks and purples.
@DunkinDecaf and @mytrueloves Same here. My MIL is obsessed with Matilda Jane. Every holiday she buys DD a bunch of Matilda Jane and about 1000 dresses. So if this one is a girl then we are set in the clothing department.
@knottieamusements yeah that’s actually way more likely. I’ll post one pic of him in a pink jacket and the next day there’ll be a gigantic box of “boy” things on my doorstep.
I hate fish frys. I don't know about other areas, but in the Detroit Area they are everywhere on Fridays during lent. My husband's motorcycle club does them once a month all year round and I hate fish. Tonight is their monthly event and my husband really wants me to go because "everyone misses me and wants to congratulate me. I just want to be a hermit...
sammierose464 I'm with you. If DF brings home fish and chips one more time, I might just lose my sanity.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
I loathe "gender disappointment" and can almost guarantee that I will try and fail to keep my mouth shut when that topic rolls up.
We're also team green, this is our first, and wanting neutral items was a part of that, albeit a small one. Some of our family members are not happy that we're "making them wait 9 months to find out," but I could not care less. This is my show and at least this one thing is going to go the way I want it to.
@zwink1 Tbh, I don't understand gender disappointment at all. Your baby's genitals don't determine their personality, interests, or future gender. Whatever future you're imagining with the sex you want is 100% possible with the sex you get, whatever that may be.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@mytrueloves - I can kind of understand gender disappointment from this position: My mom had three kids, me and my two brothers, and there was something special about our relationship that she didn't have with my brothers. That's not to say I can't have that sort of bond with a boy, but I'd slightly prefer a girl for that reason. BUT I already have a DSS that I love so goddamn much that I really don't give a shit what we end up having.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@zwink1 another UO (or FFFC) but the “ugh you’re making us wait 9m” is soooo me. I want to know all the things!! Now!! I get the various reasons why people choose team green, but if someone close to me did I would very gradually lose my shit. I got annoyed with my friend when she was expecting her daughter because she chose the name and wouldn’t tell me. I’m curious and self-centered and curious!!!
Haha, @DunkinDecaf, my sister has already purchased a sassy onesie saying something about grey and yellow clothes and "surprises." She's right there with you, she cannot even remotely understand how I can not want to find out, and she wants to know ASAP. Luckily, no one who knows this little one is coming has been crazy insistent about us finding out (yet), but even if anyone gets that way, I have a stubborn streak, and I'm much more apt to dig in my heels if people get pushy than I am to cave.
So I remember with my first one I was team gen and it really got to my sister, who just hates surprises and suspense of all sorts lol. It was kind of fun to bug her with it but we also had some opportunities for some conversations about why i was making that choice. It's different for everyone and I totally understand not wanting to explain your choices to everyone who gives you pushback but we're close enough that it was worth . we had some good conversations socialized gender expectations and my desire to let my kid figure out who they are without me being the first person to tell them who they should be. Sorry i know that got a little preachy and i know people have different reasons but it helped her be less impatient. And when we did end up finding out waaay late in the fame ( long story) i shared it with her and she admitted it was less monumental than she expected, lol.
I’m Team Green specifically because I know that, for myself, if I know the baby’s sex before baby is here, I have all this time to dream up what baby might look like growing up. I don’t want that for us- and after baby is here, I can figure things out based on baby’s own cues. (And also because if it is a girl, I don’t want an overload of pink - yes,I absolutely have a bias against pink.)
Regarding pushy people- it is about boundaries. If they can’t respect my choice to not determine gender, how can I trust them to respect my choices about electronics use, day care, after school activities, whatever? There is only one parent in this household, and I don’t put up with other people meddling in my life.
I guess my OU is that I don’t mind pink for my daughter. She picks out bows every morning, and we just go with it! She wore a lot of big brother’s clothes since we were Team Green with her. But she has accumulated “girlie” clothes, which I’m fine with.
FYI, no matter how hard you fight it, you may end up with a daughter like mine: she refuses to wear anything but dresses, her favorite color is pink, and all she wants are bows and frills. I've never exposed her to a single princess in any context. Some things seem innate.
On the other hand, she also loves worms and trucks, so that's good.
***TW*** DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
@mama2bofthree that's not a UO. DD has a feminine streak too
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
There is a vast difference between kids picking out their own clothing and me choosing to put them in frilly pink stuff from the day they are born.
Baby will grow into their own person, and part of my job as I see it is to facilitate that- not to tell them who that person should be. I know too many people who are screwed up because their parents tried to force them to be someone else.
@knottieamusements she wore a huge pink bow the day she was born. After my son, who is all sports, I was excited for all the bows and dresses. But I would never FORCE my kids to wear anything.
@mama2bofthree - One of the great things about the world is that we all get to make different choices about how we do things. What makes me cringe is perfectly normal for other families- and there (usually) isn’t anything wrong with that.
I hate fish frys. I don't know about other areas, but in the Detroit Area they are everywhere on Fridays during lent. My husband's motorcycle club does them once a month all year round and I hate fish. Tonight is their monthly event and my husband really wants me to go because "everyone misses me and wants to congratulate me. I just want to be a hermit...
Pretty much every restaurant in Wisconsin has a Friday fish fry year round. For a long time I thought that was a universal thing. Nope, just another weird Wisconsin thing I guess...
Haha, @DunkinDecaf, my sister has already purchased a sassy onesie saying something about grey and yellow clothes and "surprises." She's right there with you, she cannot even remotely understand how I can not want to find out, and she wants to know ASAP. Luckily, no one who knows this little one is coming has been crazy insistent about us finding out (yet), but even if anyone gets that way, I have a stubborn streak, and I'm much more apt to dig in my heels if people get pushy than I am to cave.
Sounds a lot like your little peanut.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
You know what, I didn't even think of that until you said it, @pebbledam, but you're totally right! I guess this little one is already inheriting some of our personality traits. Thanks for that sweet thought!
I'm late but my UO is that I love baby showers. I love the games, the food, the gifts, seeing the mama to be, etc.... Sure, it's awkward when it's yours to get showered but I love remembering all the preparation of the shower and celebrating DS1 who we waited so long for. It makes me sad that we don't get to have those celebrations for future babies with those we love. We were Team green with dS1 and I loved it at my shower because I feel like people actually bought off the registry since they didn't buy clothes lol
I'm kinda excited for mine. I just found my bio dad in January, so his side of the family is super excited about me being pregnant. It'll be nice to celebrate with everyone too.
I find American baby showers weird. I’m in Western Canada, and here The showers are more like a Sip-and-See (or whatever you want to call it). They happen couple weeks after baby is born, so you get to meet baby as well as give gifts. And yes people still get big items, like swings, pack-and-plays etc, because you can really get by without a lot of that stuff in the very beginning. But it does tend to lend itself to very traditionally gendered clothing gifts.
Re: UO Thursday (3/8)
I don't like cats, I’m a dog person all day.
Sigh. No, Bono. No.
I also wish a greater proportion of baby’s and children’s clothing was gender neutral. Or maybe just that the social perception that pink, lavender and flowers can only be girl things, and blue, dump trucks, and dinosaurs are boy things didn’t exist.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I’m also generally with you on fish. Sometimes I can eat it, sometimes it turns my stomach.
We're also team green, this is our first, and wanting neutral items was a part of that, albeit a small one. Some of our family members are not happy that we're "making them wait 9 months to find out," but I could not care less. This is my show and at least this one thing is going to go the way I want it to.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
So I remember with my first one I was team gen and it really got to my sister, who just hates surprises and suspense of all sorts lol. It was kind of fun to bug her with it but we also had some opportunities for some conversations about why i was making that choice. It's different for everyone and I totally understand not wanting to explain your choices to everyone who gives you pushback but we're close enough that it was worth . we had some good conversations socialized gender expectations and my desire to let my kid figure out who they are without me being the first person to tell them who they should be. Sorry i know that got a little preachy and i know people have different reasons but it helped her be less impatient. And when we did end up finding out waaay late in the fame ( long story) i shared it with her and she admitted it was less monumental than she expected, lol.
Regarding pushy people- it is about boundaries. If they can’t respect my choice to not determine gender, how can I trust them to respect my choices about electronics use, day care, after school activities, whatever? There is only one parent in this household, and I don’t put up with other people meddling in my life.
On the other hand, she also loves worms and trucks, so that's good.
DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
After much more of the same...
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
There is a vast difference between kids picking out their own clothing and me choosing to put them in frilly pink stuff from the day they are born.
Baby will grow into their own person, and part of my job as I see it is to facilitate that- not to tell them who that person should be. I know too many people who are screwed up because their parents tried to force them to be someone else.
Pretty much every restaurant in Wisconsin has a Friday fish fry year round. For a long time I thought that was a universal thing. Nope, just another weird Wisconsin thing I guess...
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
We were Team green with dS1 and I loved it at my shower because I feel like people actually bought off the registry since they didn't buy clothes lol