@princesslockness in NYC it's the mayor along with the school's chancellor, but the mayor has the final say. He has a track record of doing this. There was one terrible storm three or four years ago where he put the chancellor on TV saying it was a beautiful day- like we couldn't look out our own windows and see what a mess it was!
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Sorry for all of you dealing with storms! I miss snow so much but don’t miss driving or walking in them.
My WTF - still dealing with a terrible cold. I saw my OB yesterday and asked about cough medicine so I could at least get some sleep. Took his recommendation (Robitussin DM, the night version) before bed and slept like a log. I barely coughed, so that’s great, but all morning I’ve been suuuuper groggy and almost hungover feeling. Made a huge glass of tea to make it through and I’m definitely planning to nap during DS’s nap time. 45 minutes to go...
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
My WTF is a day late, oh well. So this morning my mother called to say that she'd told my dad's sisters, that she's so excited she's almost crowing from the rooftops. We're really close to the one sister, and it was nice to hear how excited she was for us. The other sister's first comment was, "Did she go to a fertility doctor?" Wtf....but whatever.
Then she went on to ask about how my appointment on Tuesday went, and I mistakenly thought we were having an adult conversation, so I was honest about my thoughts and experiences and how disappointed and frustrated I was. Rather than give me support, or just listen to me vent, she proceeds to spend the following 15 minutes telling me that I should go to her OB instead. As much as I tried to reassure her that I am completely, 100% satisfied with my OB, that it was the high-risk OB I was dissatisfied with, she just kept pushing the matter to the point I got frustrated. I've seen her OB, I was not a fan. I'm glad she likes her, but her personality and mine didn't mesh like it does with my current one that I adore. My mother is remarkably ignorant when it comes to medical care, imagine trying to get pertinent details out of her when it came to my dad's care when he was having so many cardiac episodes and what medications he was on in an emergency, I was the "medical translator" and she never remembered anything or wrote anything down. So I don't think she understands what a high-risk OB is, and doesn't care to listen and absorb when I try to tell her, like everything else.
She segued into telling me about how excited my aunt was and how she foresees a visit to Indiana in her future later this year. Mom said that I'd probably have company at the hospital and I kind of groaned. I'm a horrible introvert, I don't even like birthday parties for me because I hate being the center of attention. The last thing I want is anyone but my husband and maybe his family to visit me and see me like that. I don't even really want her to visit, as sad as it sounds. I said that's nice, but added that hopefully everyone can wait for a couple of months after it's born. She asked why. I said because I literally have no idea how to take care of an infant. I have zero experience around babies or children. Before I'm bombarded with guests I'd like to at least get to know my own baby, get settled, heal, learn a routine, learn what the fuck I'm doing as far as a breast feeding routine goes, and literally everything else involved with a baby. She told me I was being silly and didn't need all that time or space, that babies are easy...and that breast feeding is a waste of time. Get the shot to dry you up and just use formula, it's easier.
Then to top it all off, she told me to stop being crabby. Like that's going to work, just flip a switch, and no more crabby. Gee thanks, I never would have known! I said I didn't wake up every morning looking to be crabby, as if it's my life's goal to be a raging, crabby bitch every day, it just happens. She told me that was a cop out, she was never crabby for a single day in her pregnancy. Well isn't that nice. Kind of like last year when I was stuck on the floor bawling with sciatica pain and couldn't feel my left leg, she told me to just suck it up and get up, because her back hurts every day and it doesn't stop her from doing things.
It's just such a stark difference from talking with my MIL and SIL, who actually support me as a member of their family, to the point they're texting with me at midnight to reassure me that things will be okay when I'm a blubbering mess full of doubts and fear, or offering to fly across the country to fight with my high-risk OB on my behalf. It just makes me so emotionally angry to think that I got stuck in a family of narcissists that simply don't care, and the one person who DID care, passed away.
I'm so sorry, @neeraja_k I have a somewhat similarly messed up family, and it sucks. Try to use it as motivation to break the cycle, advocate for your kid and yourself against those toxic interactions. I know it took having a kid to harden my backbone enough to stand up to my dad and various others. Set reasonable boundaries and stick to your guns--if people can't respect that, you have every right to withdraw. I'm really sorry you're dealing with it at all, though. Hoping she comes around and realizes it's not her place to fight you on every decision you make for your child and yourself.
Wow @neeraja_k I’m sorry she’s acting like that! I hope that you’re able to keep standing up to her and create those boundaries.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Sorry you’re having to deal with that @neeraja_k at least you have your supportive in-laws, but I know that doesn’t make up for a disappointing relationship/interaction with your own mom
@neeraja_k Hugs girl. That is one tough situation to be in. But it sounds like you have good support from your in-laws which is great. Plus, you know you have support here. I hope that typing all of that out helped you feel better. I know, that I often feel better about situations if I can just get all of my feelings out on the subject.
Re: WTF Wednesday 3/7
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
My WTF - still dealing with a terrible cold. I saw my OB yesterday and asked about cough medicine so I could at least get some sleep. Took his recommendation (Robitussin DM, the night version) before bed and slept like a log. I barely coughed, so that’s great, but all morning I’ve been suuuuper groggy and almost hungover feeling. Made a huge glass of tea to make it through and I’m definitely planning to nap during DS’s nap time. 45 minutes to go...
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Then she went on to ask about how my appointment on Tuesday went, and I mistakenly thought we were having an adult conversation, so I was honest about my thoughts and experiences and how disappointed and frustrated I was. Rather than give me support, or just listen to me vent, she proceeds to spend the following 15 minutes telling me that I should go to her OB instead. As much as I tried to reassure her that I am completely, 100% satisfied with my OB, that it was the high-risk OB I was dissatisfied with, she just kept pushing the matter to the point I got frustrated. I've seen her OB, I was not a fan. I'm glad she likes her, but her personality and mine didn't mesh like it does with my current one that I adore. My mother is remarkably ignorant when it comes to medical care, imagine trying to get pertinent details out of her when it came to my dad's care when he was having so many cardiac episodes and what medications he was on in an emergency, I was the "medical translator" and she never remembered anything or wrote anything down. So I don't think she understands what a high-risk OB is, and doesn't care to listen and absorb when I try to tell her, like everything else.
She segued into telling me about how excited my aunt was and how she foresees a visit to Indiana in her future later this year. Mom said that I'd probably have company at the hospital and I kind of groaned. I'm a horrible introvert, I don't even like birthday parties for me because I hate being the center of attention. The last thing I want is anyone but my husband and maybe his family to visit me and see me like that. I don't even really want her to visit, as sad as it sounds. I said that's nice, but added that hopefully everyone can wait for a couple of months after it's born. She asked why. I said because I literally have no idea how to take care of an infant. I have zero experience around babies or children. Before I'm bombarded with guests I'd like to at least get to know my own baby, get settled, heal, learn a routine, learn what the fuck I'm doing as far as a breast feeding routine goes, and literally everything else involved with a baby. She told me I was being silly and didn't need all that time or space, that babies are easy...and that breast feeding is a waste of time. Get the shot to dry you up and just use formula, it's easier.
Then to top it all off, she told me to stop being crabby. Like that's going to work, just flip a switch, and no more crabby. Gee thanks, I never would have known! I said I didn't wake up every morning looking to be crabby, as if it's my life's goal to be a raging, crabby bitch every day, it just happens. She told me that was a cop out, she was never crabby for a single day in her pregnancy. Well isn't that nice. Kind of like last year when I was stuck on the floor bawling with sciatica pain and couldn't feel my left leg, she told me to just suck it up and get up, because her back hurts every day and it doesn't stop her from doing things.
It's just such a stark difference from talking with my MIL and SIL, who actually support me as a member of their family, to the point they're texting with me at midnight to reassure me that things will be okay when I'm a blubbering mess full of doubts and fear, or offering to fly across the country to fight with my high-risk OB on my behalf. It just makes me so emotionally angry to think that I got stuck in a family of narcissists that simply don't care, and the one person who DID care, passed away.
I have a somewhat similarly messed up family, and it sucks.
Try to use it as motivation to break the cycle, advocate for your kid and yourself against those toxic interactions. I know it took having a kid to harden my backbone enough to stand up to my dad and various others. Set reasonable boundaries and stick to your guns--if people can't respect that, you have every right to withdraw. I'm really sorry you're dealing with it at all, though. Hoping she comes around and realizes it's not her place to fight you on every decision you make for your child and yourself.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!