Weekly Questions (2/18)

kmurdock925 · February 2018

@doxiemoxie212 - on the same train as those stating to invite them and a) they're adults and can make their own choices and b) give them a side shout out acknowledging their situation. I think more people are offended by not being invited than by being invited and not being in close proximity- especially given that very little family will be attending. It may be different if you could say that you were keeping it to close/immediate fam

buffalove1211 · February 2018

@doxiemoxie212 That is a tough one. Family and close friends I would invite. However, when I get an invite from out of town random friends I for sure feel obligated to send a gift and I'm a little peeved.

krash_ · February 2018

@buffalove1211 maybe I'm a terrible person but when I can't make it to a shower regardless if it's down the street or across the country, I don't send a gift. Actually there have been weddings we couldn't make it to that I didn't send a gift for either.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@krashke Same. If I don't make it, neither does a gift.

emiliadkay · February 2018

@doxiemoxie212 I'll take the minority position and admit I probably wouldn't invite out of town friends to a baby shower unless they're really, really close or I knew they had the time and money to make the trip.

I struggled with a similar decision when it came to my wedding shower, and felt like friends would either (1) misinterpret the invite and think I expected them to make the trip or (2) realize I probably didn't expect them to travel and think I was being gift-grabby . I did, however, make a point of openly talking about the shower with the people I didn't invite and explaining why I hadn't sent them an invitation. I think they were all glad to be off the hook, though a wedding shower's admittedly different in that people are already committed to traveling for a wedding and possibly bachelorette.

As everyone else said, and whatever you decide to do with invitations, communicate and it'll all be fine.

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

I didn't know whether to pose this question here or in the symptoms thread...hopefully it is cool that I picked here. Is anyone else getting kicks/flutters really high in their belly? I swear I'm feeling something right under under my right breast when I'm sitting at my desk. But is it even possible the babies can get that far up yet??

catlady1215 · February 2018

@laceybee522 I've been meaning to google and see where baby would be at this point. but I swear this baby is stretching out in my whole stomach already. I feel things pretty high. but like I've said before.. short torso over here, so I've wondered if that has anything to do with it.

May14th2011 · February 2018

@LaceyBee522 at my last appt, Dr told me baby's feet were up in that area. If they're stretching out, it's definitely possible

katie121209 · February 2018

@LaceyBee522 I recently went into pea in the pod which is generally much pricier than I would shop but found some fabulous soft shorts and pajama/lounge bottoms that work for now and postpartum. I think they were 38 each. I got some great loose nursing tanks that are also super soft and loose. I didn’t expect the c section last pregnancy so I had no loose bottoms to wear so I’m being prepared this time.

amys614 · February 2018

@LaceyBee522 I remember reading something that your body doesn't really differentiate between one baby or two, it just advances and grows quicker to accommodate. That may be why you are feeling little feetsies up higher and earlier because technically you'll always be measuring ahead of where you'd be with a singleton pregnancy, if that makes sense. You get to tell us about all the fun we have to look forward to

How many outfits in what sizes are generally appropriate to have for babies? I know it greatly depends on their birth weight, but on average, how long or how many onsies and outfits would you recommend in NB, 0-3, etc. I know it slows down a little bit once they get a little bigger. I just don't want to buy and register for a bunch of stuff because he's growing out of it so fast.

doxiemoxie212 · February 2018

@LaceyBee522 yeah also echoing @catlady1215 to say that singleton to singleton pregnancy, our uteruses are probably all the same size, but a soccer ball sized uterus in my abdomen (5'8) is going to be super different than a soccer ball sized uterus in someone 5 feet tall. Since you've got twosies going on, I'd guess your uterus is growing faster than us singletons as @amy614 mentioned.

Also, fun fact: a friend of mine's cousin had twins last year and they were both born nearly 11 lbs. She is apparently a very tall/large lady (over 6 feet), but oh man, can you imagine? lol I very much do not want to birth even one 11 lb baby (do you hear me, universe??).

amys614 · February 2018

@doxiemoxie212 omg I can't imagine carrying 20+ pounds of baby plus all the extras. Aaahhh the misery. A girl I work with had ONE 11 pounder and the poor girl was miserable AF for like 8 weeks. I'm scared of even 9 pounds.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@amys614 Personally, i think the number count depends on how often you do/want to do laundry. This is what I try to follow:

NB: No more than 10 outfits/onesies and then 3-4 sleepers. We are a sleeper repeater though if they don't get dirty.
All other sizes up to 9/12 months: approx 30 outfits/onesies and 5-7 sleepers per size. This is to do laundry approx every two weeks, and allows for a min of two outfits a day.

This worked well for us, and you eventually get a sense of what you need to get more off. We use short sleeve onesies alllll the time, so we stocked up more on those. We also bought more sleepers in the 6 month size because i was a lazy mom and would send DD to daycare in them haha

DD is in 18 month clothing right now, and I actually found I bought MORE current clothes because she gets so dirty at daycare now that shes walking/running and getting into everything. And currently, i only do her laundry once a month haha We were fortunate to get 1000s of hand me downs from SIL, so i know otherwise it would be different. I should also add DD was a slow grower haha She's "petite"

Oh - and I also buy "special" outfits too, and will put those to the side for fun occasions (not necessarily holidays).

Sorry, that got longer than i intended.

lisa2589 · February 2018

@amys614 I’m actually going through my baby clothes as we speak and here's what I’m noticing. NB- not much, enough for a couple weeks- maybe a month. Heavy on 0-3 and 3-6 (my kid lived in onesies so probably 10 of those each size, 4-5 sleepers, plus a few cuter outfits for when we went places) hardly any 6-9 and 9-12 so those must have went fast (probably 5 or 6 onesies/pants, 3 sleepers + a few randoms ). Probably about 15 total 12 month outfits. 18, 24 month and 2T are pretty similar in size so once we got there it was interchangeable. Fair warning though I am an over-preparer so I have probably more than other moms would find necessary. It wasn’t uncommon for me to leave the house with 2 changes of clothes in the diaper bag just in case, so having that many total outfits felt necessary to me and cut down on my laundry frequency when I was still working full time.

krash_ · February 2018

@amys614 FTM as well so not from personal experience but I would make sure you have a few NB outfits too. NB sizes say 6-9 lbs and up to 21.5 in. Even if baby is 8+ lbs at birth they will lose a little before they start gaining back. I'm not sure how quickly they will grow out of the NB size and I'm sure that would depend on the baby but you don't want to be doing laundry twice a day.

I am planning on stocking up on plain white long sleeve Gerber onesies in NB. Maybe like 10 of them? Fairly reasonable when they come in packs of 5 for like $10.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@amys614 I second @krashke on the NB outfits. DH was 10+ lbs at birth and DD was 8lb14oz, so I knew DS1 was going to be big. I didn't buy a single piece of NB clothing. He was 8.5lbs at birth, but lost a full pound before we left the hospital. Had some friends not had a few NB pieces in the tub of clothes they lent us, we would have been in trouble, since he wore NB for about two weeks.

amys614 · February 2018

Thanks everyone! So at least 2 weeks to a month worth of NB. That helps. I was struggling how to split up my registry clothing sizes.

Totally changing gears here, but did we decide on the next book yet? I may have missed it.

dinodna3 · February 2018

11lb twins is insane! That’s so much weight to be carrying around.

Austenista · February 2018

For us, we stuck to footed pajamas pretty exclusively in the NB size. If baby weighs more than six pounds you probably don't need NB diapers. You can use them if you have them, they'll work, but they were putting size 1 on DS in the hospital at 6lbs7oz so you don't have to stock up on those. He also was born at 37 weeks for frame of reference. Of course that varies.

I brought nb and 0-3 in the same outfit for going home. As a side note I happened upon the exact same outfit in his size at 1 year and put him in it on his birthday too. Just because it made me happy. If DS2 was going to be born in winter instead of almost July, I'd just use that same outfit to bring him home.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/an/168bxhzecmmr.png

He's going to have containers and containers of clothes from his brother to work through (luckily enough I had a friend with a May baby who donated a ton of clothes to me when DS was born and I just stuck long sleeved onesies under for him. This one can wear the short sleeves comfortably). That said, I'm thinking of ordering something cute from Etsy that says something like "big brother, little brother" for them to wear on their first day home together.

Something like this would be what I have in mind. I think it boils down to personal choice. As Doxie pointed out, if you are going straight home, there's really no use for pomp and circumstance unless you want to do that in which case there absolutely is because there's no right way to do something like this. I think in the case of ordering something like this I'll go ahead and get 0-3mos because too big is better than too small. If I were buying something from a store, I'd get both sizes, keep a receipt, and if baby comes out too big for the smaller, just return it for $$ you can use elsewhere.

krash_ · February 2018

@Austenista that set from etsy is really cute and very reasonably priced for the two outfits. I have looked at just the outfit for baby and they are closer to $50

Austenista · February 2018

@Krashke I was clicking through her other options and noticed she has those wacky pants in different sizes too. I was just wondering to myself what she'd charge me if I messaged her to throw in those pants in DS's size as well, because like you said, that's a great price for everything to begin with.

aharv77 · February 2018

@Austenista Great find on the Etsy listing! I've been looking for something similar for DD and DS but not over $50. These are adorable!

mytinc · February 2018

krashke said:

I am planning on stocking up on plain white long sleeve Gerber onesies in NB. Maybe like 10 of them? Fairly reasonable when they come in packs of 5 for like $10.

Just as an FYI - Gerber baby clothes tend to run small. Baby will grow out of those onesies before Carter's or other brands. Sizing is not equal across brands, and sometimes even within brands. Makes it all the more difficult to figure it out the first few months.

krash_ · February 2018

Speaking of coming home outfits...we are team green so I was thinking about getting an outfit like this from Etsy that has the option of a hat or a bow. Is it hypocritical of me to have something at the ready that is immediately gendered?

kmurdock925 · February 2018

krashke - with the caveat of me having zero beef with gender specific clothing...I don't see how it is hypocritical at all. I don't remember if you had a specific reason for being team green other than just wanting the surprise but I don't see how being team green correlates with gender specific clothing...to me it just means that you wanted to be surprised at birth

krash_ · February 2018

@kmurdock925 TBH the main reason I wanted to be team green was to avoid getting bags upon bags of hand me down clothes. I just don't have the patience to go through all of them. I also really don't like the overly gendered stuff like a "ladies man" onesie for a boy or "dad says I can never date" one for a girl. I'm assuming after baby is here we will get some more gendered outfits.

doxiemoxie212 · February 2018

@krashke sex matters, if it didn’t you wouldn’t care at all. Choosing to be team green just means caring in a different way. It’s okay to want to put your baby in a bow or a hat depending on what he/she is. I get irrationally upset when strangers think my dog is a boy even though obviously it doesn’t matter. And I also conceptually hate gender binaries. But I still want to put this girl in a bow headband lol — too cute not to.

May14th2011 · February 2018

For the record, you can put a headband and dress on your daughter and people will still say "what a cute boy!" Some people are just... silly. (Not really the word I want, lol, but nicer than what I could say)

Also, I hate the shirts with words on them, for the most part. Target now has some really great uplifting, positive message clothing which I love. Stuff like "be thankful" or "be curious, be positive, be you". I love it.

+1 to Gerber running small. Not like slightly small but like newborn barely fit my preemie, and she was in 6-9m Gerber clothing by 2 months.

rnielsen321 · February 2018

Soooo... as a STM, who's LO was in 2T by her first B-day... and 4T by her second, And never fit NB (23 IN, 8 lbs 12 oz at birth at 36wks) the sizing will be specific to your general genetic make up. We went through a ton of clothes, in lots of sizes, and so we didn't buy a lot in advance, as I never knew what size she would be with the seasons.

+1 to Gerber running small and narrow
Old Navy Baby stuff has off sizing to other brands
Joe Fresh is cut WIDE
Carters has a great exchange policy, so don't cut all your tags off.
Cat&Jack and Carters in the US are larger than the Carters in Canada

Just my 2 cents.

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

@krashke I'm team green too and I don't think you're being hypocritical. You do you, man!

Austenista · February 2018

@krashke same to hating the messages on onesies. Some of them are fine but I hate the ones that say things like "Lock up your daughters" or "ladies man." You're literally sexualizing a baby, which is gross. That said I love gendered outfits that are just cute. Lord help my child if I ever have a girl. I'm going to have a lot of pent up energy for bows and flowers after having two boys and it's going to be all for her.

dinodna3 · February 2018

I loathe gender messages on kids clothes too. I find it so creep and weird to specialize babies like that.

@doxiemoxie212 I hate when people call my dog a girl too. She can have a giant pink bow on her collar and people will still be like “aww, he’s so cute, what’s his name?”

silvergreen · February 2018

+1 gender neutral! I don't know why but I find the neutral stuff more cozy-looking, boy or girl. I think it plays into that "hygge" vibe I love so much. I also want to avoid hand-me-downs because I don't want to offend anyone by not using/donating probably almost all of it. Sorry SIL, we have super different tastes.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@silvergreen When SIL gave us all her girl clothes, and i'm talking 30 boxes, I made sure to ask, "you don't want these back, right?" And thankfully she was all for donating what we didn't use! I definitely only kept like 10% of what she gave us, because lets face it, clothes change over time, and so does style!

elsie42 · February 2018

I hate the creepy/sexual sayings on baby clothes too. Someone mentioned Target upthread and just wanted to +1 that for cute/appropriate gendered clothing. A friend gave us a cute onesie from there after we found out that baby is a girl that says "Never underestimate the power of women and girls" - I love it! I also don't see a problem with putting a bow on your daughter or dressing her in pink if you like. I love neutral stuff but I like pink/girly things too so she'll have both. You do you!

marcus7676 · February 2018

@elsie42 I buy DS shirts with sayings like that - - my favorite was Target's "Strong Like Mom" shirt that came out last year. I bought it in multiple sizes.

katie121209 · February 2018

DD still has very short hair so doesn’t seem to matter if I dress her in pink people still call her a boy! It’s so annoying. When she was very little I loved all the gender neutral onesies the best.

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

These have sayings on them, but I think they're cute - definitely cheesy (<---see what I did there?). We gave them to my in-laws for Christmas as a part of our reveal. If I can get them back from them, we'll use them to take the twins home in (pic in spoiler).

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/9y/5i38a5xk117r.jpg

And for good measure, these are the onesies we used to announce with my parents. These have a little more innuendo, but my parents are big wine drinkers, so it made sense. (in spoiler).

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/0l/urfyokth5nka.jpg

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

@LaceyBee522 I bought my H a matching “drinking buddies” set for Father’s Day last year (his has a beer bottle, my son’s has a baby bottle). I generally hate clothes with sayings, especially “suggestive” ones, but I thought this was really cute. Photo under spoiler.

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

Haha! @MoonOverGoldsboro I think that is adorable!!

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