STM+ Check In (February)

dinodna3 · February 2018

Daycare cost is way I don’t work either. It’s hard on me because I truely miss working but unfortunately the industry I choose (hospitality) is not child-friendly at all. The schedules and low pay make childcare impossible.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

Ugh day care cost. We will have two in full time care for 2 years. Maybe only one if we get a lottery spot in the public pre k class. Our daycare cost will be more than our mortgage. It is sad.

catlady1215 · February 2018

i feel for you guys looking at doubling your daycare costs. I'm not even sure how to guess what you'll be stuck paying but I know its NOT pretty. Our moms watched DS for us. But we haven't even worked out if either will take this baby any days or if we're looking at full time daycare. which we should probably do soon. But if DS stays in his private school for kindergarten, that right there is about $400 a month. Then add on daycare. ugh!

aharv77 · February 2018

I can't imagine having to pay for care for two. With DH's move to first shift, we've been able to cancel our after school daycare through the YMCA for DD since she has full day kindergarten, 5 days a week. We were paying $170 a month but now we just pay DH's cousin to bring her to school with her daughters each day, $100 a month.

We'll still have DD in summer day camp through the Y 3 days a week this summer so she gets some interaction with other kids and not bored at home with me and the newborn, so we'll be paying about $120 a week and then we need to start looking at care options for DS who will start when I go back to work at the end of August. I'm expecting to pay about $200/week for full time care.

jsl82 · February 2018

@aharv77 we have to keep DD in daycare a minimum of 2x a week even if we won't be using it (ie. teachers in the summer and anyone on maternity leave). Since we have to keep paying for 2 days we are going to keep sending her. She is only in 3 days a week- with my mom 2 days a week and we still pay $602 a month. ugh. When LO starts in September (first full month), he will cost a little bit more since the cost decreases with age. I'm expecting it to be around $1225 a month for 2 kids 3 days a week. Plus we both got new cars this year- it's like we've tripled our expenses

I just keep reminding myself that having them close in age like this means once kindergarten starts - roughly when our car payments end- we will be saving so much money- though I'm sure we will get hit with some other crazy expense (like we decide to send them to private school for some crazy reason).

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

I am actively choosing not to think about us having two kids in full time daycare. We’ll make it work...but I just don’t want to concentrate too hard on it right now. From our estimates, I’ll still be making more money than we pay for childcare, but not by a lot. I like working so much that I think it will be worth it, but I guess we’ll see.

marcus7676 · February 2018

I know daycare costs vary tremendously by locale but I am so jealous of some of the prices you all are quoting.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

Add me to the huge daycare bill. Luckily DHs parents watch DD twice a week, but this LO will go full time. We’re also looking at keeping DD in daycare twice a week over the summer to kinda help with “feeling normal” instead of pulling her. It’s insane though. 220/week for DD for 3 days with a 10% discount. We will be spending 2000+ a month when this LO starts. Ugh. Hurts my soul.

@jsl82 that is my hope with having them close together too! Just bank all the money once they’re in school.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

@marcus7676 I consider myself lucky that we live in a low cost of living area and we make decent money.

This is the time that I wish my parents lived close by. My Mother would love to watch my kids 2 days a week and that would save us about $400 a month, because my daycare has a part time rate. They also allow us to increase/decrease the attendance rate as needed with each week. Sadly my parents are moving to Korea this summer so that will not be happening.

jsl82 · February 2018

DD has been taking more and more steps lately. I'm pretty sure I'm finally going to have a walker in a few weeks. I also got a backpack with a leash for her over the weekend- I'm way too pregnant to try chasing a toddler running full speed... and soon I will be lugging around her brother too... seemed like the smart idea.

rnielsen321 · February 2018

@jsl82 - great investment! We love ours... Did the zoo, art galleries etc with our DD with a leash. LOVE IT.

catlady1215 · February 2018

Would you girls be at all interested in doing belly shot comparisons one week? or wait till we start a new STM month post even?

just to compare our past pregnancies. it was mentioned awhile back in another post and thought it'd be so fun to see the difference in how we're all carrying!

mytinc · February 2018

With two in daycare full time as well as part time preschool (a few hours a day a couple times a week) our 2017 yearly cost was about $14,000. And we live in a rural area that is much cheaper than big city prices. Thankfully DS1 will be going to Kindergarten this fall... just in time for this baby to start at daycare. So we're looking at similar costs, which I guess is better than going up. I still don't know what our before school/after school plan will be for DS1 since DH and I both work 8 - 5 pm.

murraydog2008 · February 2018

this is totally not new baby related, but does anyone have any recommendations on kids water bottles that they love? We have the contigo ones and I'm kind of over them. They leak when they are sideways/upside-down (which is often in my house) and I don't love how hard it is to clean all the places that tend to get moldy on them. What are your favorites?

mytinc · February 2018

@murraydog2008 - We just bought some thermos brand "funtainers" for our kids. They love them and no spills. This link is from Amazon, but you can probably find them elsewhere.

May14th2011 · February 2018

@murraydog2008 we like the camelbak bottles, but if the kids chew on the spouts (which mine do) they leak. Right now we're using Bubba brand bottles with hard plastic spouts, but they do leak if left open when laid down.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

I absolutely hate any/all drinking apparatus designed for children (at least all the ones I have tried and there have been many.)

marcus7676 · February 2018

@murraydog2008 We use the Kika Pura which are pretty good.

murraydog2008 · February 2018

@kfren I'm feeling that same way about them. I've tried so many different kinds and they either break too easily, leak or get moldy. My kids are good water drinkers so I want to keep that going with good water bottles.

murraydog2008 · February 2018

@mytinc thanks for the link. I haven't tried those ones yet. They look good and it's nice to hear they don't leak! I'm thinking of their easter baskets this year.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

Conversation between myself and 3year old DS

Mom: Are you going to be a good big brother to sister?
DS: yes
Mom: Is sister going to sit on mom's lap?
DS: DS sits on mommy's lap.
Mom: Sister is going to sit on dad's lap?
DS: *Gives me a utterly confused look* Sister needs to stay in the belly.

My poor son. His world is about to be rocked.

jsl82 · February 2018

@Xtabbikatx at least you can try to prepare him- DD is 13 months old so she has no idea how much her world is about to change.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

@jsl82 very true, and I think he will be okay once she gets here and we get in a routine. Mommy and Daddy will just have to make sure we are giving him attention and he learns how to share us.

rnielsen321 · February 2018

My DD actually said her baby brother hurt her in the belly the other night. Like she was quite upset.
I assured her it was by accident, and that he didn't mean to.
I asked if he could kiss it better... she said yes.
So we both lifted our shirts and touched bellies.
She said, "all better" with a smile on her face and that was that...

Broke my heart a wee bit.

She says hello and kisses him (my belly) every morning. And so far has suggested Brody (friend) and George (Peppa Pig) for names...

murraydog2008 · February 2018

My daughter had a really rough transition when brother was born! She was 2.5 and she'd sit there and give him the stink eye when he was 2 weeks old and yell "Don't look at me ELI!"......she was not a fan. Now they are 7 and almost 5 and best buddies, but wowza in the beginning it was rough for her. She probably would have had the perfect personality to be an only child. It's either that or she should have been a twin so they both started at the same time. But going from being the center of our world to having to share it with her brother as really challenging. I'm thinking this time will be much different because she's so much older and wants to help more. My son could careless about what's happening as long as the baby doesn't mess with his tractors.

jsl82 · February 2018

Hey ladies- I have a question about my 14 month old that I feel like many of you have already experienced so may be able to help. DD was REALLY sick last week- ear infection that was not helped by the original antibiotic. She was waking up a few times in the night- but she was in pain and burning up so we understood it. Since her fever finally broke over the weekend we have noticed that she is still waking up during the night- but now it is taking 2 hours to get her back to bed. She is eating during this time too- I can give her 8 oz of milk, an apple sauce pouch and still nurse her to get her to calm down enough to fall back to sleep. This is exhausting for MH and myself- but we are worried that we are creating a monster by feeding her and this will become a habit that we cannot break. I'm hoping that it is just a growth spurt- since she is eating like a full grown man during other times too. Did any of your LOs have a midnight snack stunt during any growth spurts? How long did this last? Is this normal or should we be trying to sleep train again?

kmurdock925 · February 2018

jsl82 - no expert here but have had my fair share of sleep issues with DD1 (19 months now). I've noticed that after a period of sickness or teething where her sleep was off it takes a few weeks to get back on track and usually have to do some more sleep training to reinforce that. They latch on to these new/bad habits so quickly and hold on so tightly. For me- because I didn't want to create another habit to break- I don't give food/milk in the MOTN unless 1) I know she didn't eat a good dinner, then it is a one off not every night snack time 2) she is sick and needs a drink.

With that being said- every kid is different and you have to go with your mom gut as well

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

+1 to what @kmurdock925 said.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@jsl82 I agree with @kmurdock925, DD is also 19 months, and have had to deal with a lot of sickness and mid night wake ups. We never give anything, water or food, during the night. Even if she didn't eat dinner because we want to enforce the fact that we eat at certain times, and that is what is expected in our house (No flames doing things another way!) We definitely have to retrain sleep though, and usually the next couple days or so are a little rough after sickness/crazy nights. These kids will definitely hold on to bad habits as long as you let them. But again, go with your mom gut! You know your kid best.

lisa2589 · February 2018

Like @kfren and @kmurdock925 said, after 1 year, as long as I know she’s not sick or skipped supper, I try to only give her water at night. For me it was kind of like a message to her more on her level- I will always give you some water because I don’t want you to feel thirsty, but we’re not getting in the habit of whatever we want during the night. That being said- it’s so tough being that mom, especially during the middle of the night when they’re tired and their feelings are a little more tender than usual

. I’m sorry mama, I hope you can get through this in just a couple more nights!

jsl82 · February 2018

Thanks ladies I guess I was hoping to hear that this is normal and she'll go back to normal in a week- a girl can dream! Guess DH and I need to go back to sleep training.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

I say this having gone through it this week. We have had a VERY rough 2ish weeks so the point of I don't even remember what got us off track in the first place and likely a delayed 18 month regression. I did some serious sleep training this week while DH is out of town for work and while it broke my heart and I felt like a terrible mother the first night (I think I posted about it in here somewhere? Maybe it was just my july 16 board) she slept a solid 12 hours last night. But yeah- I def don't feed at night...I think she stopped getting a bottle in the MOTN around 9 months? and she was later compared to a lot of kids and that was that. While I say I only give a snack if she didn't eat a good dinner I say that as something I would consider- I never have actually gotten to the point of doing it. I'm HUGE on routine- especially night, and meal times are no exception.

2589 said- nights are so hard when you know they're more sensitive and you're more sensitive because all you want to do is sleep. That is personally, when I feel the most useless because I just feel like I don't know what she needs or what is wrong, therefore making me helpless.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@2589 @kmurdock925 so much yes to the more sensitive LO and more sensitive you. I think all my breakdowns, and frustrations happen in the middle of the night. It is heartbreaking feeling helpless.

marcus7676 · February 2018

@kmurdock925 - we've been very lucky that DS has never asked to eat MOTN (or woken up MOTN after eating a bad dinner) (we were due for a good sleeper after he didn't sleep at all for the first 6 months). I would do your best not to offer food because habits can be formed in something like 3 days. You may need to sleep train a bit again when she's healthy. But I echo what the others have said.

mytinc · February 2018

One thing I've found is that if you're consistent with anything (sleep training included), a bad habit can usually be broken in 3 to 4 days. The hardest part is staying firm in what you want to happen. We just had to break my 4 year old from having Daddy sleep in his bed every night. Breaking a bad habit sucks while you're doing it (so much easier to give in), but in the end it's worth it.

mytinc · February 2018

AFM, We just had our 3.5 year old in to see an eye doctor today as he's been showing signs of being farsighted (always standing right in front of the TV saying he can't see otherwise, and leaning in super close to the pages when we're reading books - nose almost touching the page). The doctor (not a pediatric eye doctor) believes he has extreme farsightedness and is having us go to Children's Hospital to see their eye doctor for a second opinion next week. Looks like we'll have at least one kid in glasses. I'm just wondering at this age how easy/hard it will be to keep glasses on a kid.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

mytinc - no 1st hand experience but I've had young cousins in glasses at that age and from what I've seen in other mom groups it isn't super uncommon and is pretty successful. The way children's glasses are designed help them to stay on. I've also heard that once the child realizes how much better they can see with them they're typically cool with them. FX

mytinc · February 2018

Thanks @kmurdock925. DS2 is certainly our kid that goes to the doctor. He has a cardiologist, urologist, family doctor (we don't see a pediatrician, just a general doctor), endocrinologist, allergist, and now this. I wish he could catch a break. At least we already know our way around Nationwide Children's.

It's seriously to the point where DS1 (who has no health issues) tries to tell us that he also has heart problems or needs to see the doctor for XYZ reason because he feels DS2 gets special treatment by going to the doctor all the time.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

@mytinc - awe sweet ds1...if he only knew

rnielsen321 · February 2018

OH BOY... on the sleep MOTN feeding thing... We are not doing well with DD. She is 2yo, and is up 5-6 nights a week, at varying times. Always with a bottle of milk (we tried water, it gets everywhere) and then back to bed.
We don't co sleep. She was A DREAM sleeper for the first 15 months. Through the night no problem, then whammo! Change! Now, she is in the 95th percentile, grows like a weed (I am looking at 5T clothes for her next season) and is happy happy. My DH works a midnight shift, and I can honestly say, she wakes most nights about 20 - 30 minutes after he gets in the door. And she sleeps through the nights most often when he is off. Soo... chicken and egg?

She did sleep the night through last night, however, even with a mere 4 oz before bed, she woke up at 6 am with soaking sleeper, soaked diaper and wet sheets!!!

So, TL;DR - feel your pain, good luck, no advice over here.

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