Ask a S+TM Anything - February Edition

lakesideknitter · February 2018

@redheadbride15 do you have any friends close by? Or any coworkers that you are close with and trust? For me, it would not be an option for DH not to be there (as long as DS was with someone I trusted).

elsieisamoocow · February 2018

@redheadbride15 We are in that situation this time. The family we do have nearbyish is not the most helpful/able to help. We will probably have to have my FIL be on call and drive the hour to our house when I start going into labor. If I had a history of going full term we would just have my mom come in town for the week or two surrounding my due date, but I doubt that’ll happen. I have some friends who have toddlers and have generally flexible schedules so I may ask them to be on call for me if they’re able when it gets closer, I’m just worried it’ll be in the middle of the night, or DH will be at work an hour away and have to meet me at the hospital or come home and take me... ugh this is stressing me out. Sorry, so not helpful!

lolog531 · February 2018

I think the schedule vs no schedule is such a situational thing - some of it works for some and not for others. DS has always loved a schedule. From when he was a baby his feedings were always ‘right on time’, sleeping he’s been going to bed at the same time since I can remember. I’m hoping he can keep up with this schedule with mixing in #2, but we will just have to see how it goes! I know sticking to a schedule will be a bit tougher this time around.
ETA I do like ‘routine’ better! We definitely have our routine down between me, DH and DS. We will just have to figure out a new routine once #2 comes around!

They'll be at the same daycare for a couple of years, so drop off and pick up will be okay - I’m more worried about getting all of us out the door on time!

redheadbride15 · February 2018

@elsieisamoocow Sorry you’re in the same boat! I’m stressed about the timing too! My DS came at 37 weeks and my labor was FAST for a FTM. I can totally see myself having a baby before DH can arrange something for DS.

@lakesideknitter I don’t really have friends in town that I know well enough to ask to take on that responsibility, especially if it’s the MOTN. My brother is local, but he has NO idea what to do with a toddler! I also can’t trust him to pick up his phone in the MOTN (or be sober without sufficient advanced warning lol). My mom lives very far away and will also be out of the country for most of August. My dad lives 3 hours away and has lots of health problems, so that’s not going to work either.

dirtanddiamonds · February 2018

calimom2524 said:

I have a question for moms that have more than 2. How was the transition from 2 to 3 kids? I've heard from some of my friends it was easier than 1 to 2 and I've heard from others it was so much harder. Obviously everyone's different but this is something I'm so worried about.

2 to 3 was a lot easier for me, compared to going from 1 to 2. Just adding one more to the chaos was NBD. Lol.

dirtanddiamonds · February 2018

redheadbride15 said:

Question about childcare for your older kid during labor and delivery and postpartum hospitalization. Were any of you in a situation for baby #2+ where you have no local family or friends who can fill this role? What did you do? I just found out my mom won’t be available around my due date so I have no idea what we’re going to do with DS. The idea of DH having to miss the delivery is heartbreaking.

I was in this exact same situation and we lied to the hospital. Said grandma would be here soon. And my older DD (she was 5) was in the room when we delivered. Nobody said a thing even though it was technically against the rules.

princesslockness · February 2018

@redheadbride15 I think you could find a college or high school kid who could maybe help. Other than that I have no advice. It isn’t awful not having your spouse there. H wasn’t even aware I had a cs with L, as his phone died, so he showed up after everyone was out of recovery. For E he had L in the waiting room as E came faster than anyone thought she would. It’s not ideal, but you can do it if nothing else is available.

hfooter · February 2018

redheadbride15 said:

Question about childcare for your older kid during labor and delivery and postpartum hospitalization. Were any of you in a situation for baby #2+ where you have no local family or friends who can fill this role? What did you do? I just found out my mom won’t be available around my due date so I have no idea what we’re going to do with DS. The idea of DH having to miss the delivery is heartbreaking.

Do you have any close friends in town? That’s what I have seen other moms do in this situation. And what I would do if we didn’t have both grandmas in town.

delujm0 · February 2018

redheadbride15 said:

Question about childcare for your older kid during labor and delivery and postpartum hospitalization. Were any of you in a situation for baby #2+ where you have no local family or friends who can fill this role? What did you do? I just found out my mom won’t be available around my due date so I have no idea what we’re going to do with DS. The idea of DH having to miss the delivery is heartbreaking.

We had one of the teachers from the daycare on standby just in case, and my in laws came down when I hit 39 weeks with the intention of staying until DD2 was born. Good thing they came when they did because she was born less than 48 hours later.

My mom is retired now so she'll probably come around 36-37 weeks and stay a month or so. But my BFF just moved back to town also, so she or her husband could also come fill in if I go really early, until my mom can make it here (about a 9 hour drive).

7425cait · February 2018

With my glucose test they told me to eat normally up until the day of. I'm a believer in keeping up with normalcy before these things cuz I wouldn't want to trick the test. Anyway, my test was incredibly easy. It was a drink that tasted like gatorade. I drank it and then 1 hour later had the blood draw. It wasn't a whole day event with the chalky stuff.

redheadbride15 · February 2018

@princesslockness and @dirtanddiamonds Thanks, your stories make me feel better, that it may not be the end of the world if we can’t figure anything out.

ladygali · February 2018

Ok, here’s my silly question. How long should I expect it to take to get out of the house to go somewhere with two kids? DS takes more than a little motivation to get moving and I’m worried it’ll take more than the half hour it does now.

pghctwife · February 2018

@redheadbride15 not me but when I was a kid I stayed with neighbors etc when my siblings were born. My parents didn’t have family local etc.
my youngest brother we went with my friend who’s mom was my gs leader. My mom was friendly with them but definitely not *friends.*

i think you’d be surprised how willing ppl are to help - if absolutely be happy to help someone if I could. And maybe mention to your bother and he might rise to the occasion.

pghctwife · February 2018

@ladygali maybe get not be bad early on as long as a diaper etc doesnt derail you. The good thing about babies is they are portable lol.

pghctwife · February 2018

@redheadbride15 if you are on a local fb page you could post for an on call sitter too, a daycare worker or college student who’s home for break.

pghctwife · February 2018

@calimom2524 0-1 was the hardest, 1-2 easy. 2-3 a tiny bit harder but there are reasons -

my oldest is and always has been my hardest kid. My second is eaaaaasssssy (easy baby for me, hard for dh bc he was a stage 5 clinger). My third was the easiest baby. But 2-3 was a little harder bc age 4 for my oldest was absolute hell and it made everything in our world hard.

Dh found 2-3 harder I think in part bc he was thrown into zone defense for the first time but never had to before - as a SAHM I was always zone defense with 2 kids.

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