STM+ Check In (February)

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

@harveyabbey77 That seriously made me LOL. I guess "kids say the darndest things!" is a cliche for a reason. For some reason that reminded me of a time recently when my friend asked her 2-year-old daughter if she liked my son, and she said yes, "because he's funny and has hands." HANDS! What you really look for in a friend!

llamamama14 · February 2018

+1 to teaching anatomically correct names for genitals. * TW child abuse * I've heard the rationale that it will help the child communicate accurately but also without shame or embarassment. (Like if we're embarassed or hesitant to say "penis" our kid will be too and it will add shame and secrecy and discourage reporting of potential abuse.) End TW*

rnielsen321 · February 2018

Oh boy!!! When my DD learns something new, she will "practice" in the middle of the night for a few nights.
New song, clapping, jumping, new words, you name it! Cute. At first

So this weekend my DD decided, No More Diapers. Which would have been okay, and I do want to get to potty training. BUT we are getting big girl bed this week. So i was counting on one transition at a time!

She is fighting when we have to put diapers on her to send her to daycare.... because, Daycare will help potty train, but not with pull ups. Only underpants. And I agree with this. DD has yet to go in the potty at our house, but is on a no diaper strike.

So I have explained that until she goes potty at home, we can't send her to school in unders. You bet this kid will be bare bummed each day after school if she wants it, but I don;t know if my DH fully understands what this transition is going to look like... laundry wise. I am exhausted, thinking about it. Pleased as well she is getting the concept.

On the cute side, this morning she rubbed my belly and said morning baby brother. THen tickled him through my belly button!!!

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

marcus7676 said:

@Xtabbikatx DS is in a center daycare. The other day, the teacher asked what terms we used and I told her. She said that they were recently told that they had to keep terms generic and just use "privates." I'm actually annoyed by it because I want DS to know the proper term and we use that at home. I can understand generally using "privates" if the teachers don't know, or parents prefer it, but they still have to use "privates" with DS even though we've told them we prefer otherwise.

This would bother me. My daycare talks to the kids about privacy (mainly due to bathroom use) and asked each of the parents what their preference is. Then they keep that with the kids. I am not sure how more generic you can be using the proper terms.

mytinc · February 2018

As for daycare's terminology I clarify that yes, penis, butt, breasts, and vagina are all private parts/private areas because we don't let others touch or see them. I also started making the kids wash their own bodies (privates included) at about age 3 (making sure they were doing it properly. I think that helps to let them know that those specific words are all included in "private areas". Does the daycare prohibit the words penis and vagina, @marcus7676? Or are the teachers just not allowed to use them?

marcus7676 · February 2018

@mytinc I'm not sure if the words are prohibited or not, just that when referring to a child's penis or vagina, they have to use "privates."

catlady1215 · February 2018

I posted this in the deals post. but incase anyone here missed it. if any of you have old expired baby items, babies r us is having their trade in event starting next week!

got to pull out my carseats for real this time and get those checked.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@catlady1215 Do you know what they take? Is it just car seats? We have a super old pack n play id love to turn in.

catlady1215 · February 2018

@sunshineandwhiskey believe so! here's what the website says......

catlady1215 · February 2018

sorry thats so big.
But it also says they'll take gently used clothing and donate them to families in need, and you'll get 25% off your clothing purchase.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@catlady1215 Sweet! Thanks for looking it up - i guess i couldve haha (facepalm)

catlady1215 · February 2018

@sunshineandwhiskey I didn't think it was on the site actually, so I was surprised. I swear I looked for it not that long ago and didn't see any dates posted.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

meg95995 - I do something similar. Instead of a journal I keep a planner and write down funny things or anything I think I may want to remember.

I was running behind yesterday morning (story of my life) and DD (18 mon) was on my lap as I was putting her shoes on. I remembered last minute that I had to put laundry I had started the night before in the dryer before leaving so I said "oh shoot!" and she immediately started chanting "damnit damnit damnit". Oops...

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

I don't know where to ask this so I am going ask here and maybe someone else can figure out where to post it.

I am planning on BF with this one. Insurance is going to cover my pump so I am going to try and continue pumping at work. (work is on board and is going to give me a private office so I don't have to break) Does anyone have helpful hints, necessary items and maybe a pumping schedule to get a stash started.
Probably way early on this, but it is my new thing I want to figure out.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@Xtabbikatx As far as a schedule goes, you want to keep consistent with feeding times, so if you were at home and would be feeding baby, you should be pumping.
Ex. 6 a -feed; 9am-pump; 12pm-pump; 3pm-pump. I would always try to pump not too long after getting to work, during lunch, and about 1-2 hours before going home (that way I still had some with which to feed baby when I got home.)
I stocked my bag with breast pads (rarely needed them with DD; needed them EVERY DAY with DS,) coconut oil (keeps your nips nice and soft, safe for baby, and helps with suction,) and whatever you are pumping into (bags, bottles, or both.) I would also strongly advise extra pump parts, sanitizer bags, and an extra shirt. I know some friends who had issues with letdown, in which case it may be helpful to bring a picture of baby to help get things going.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

@kfren, how do you build a stash while you are breastfeeding at the house? Do you pump between feedings after feedings?

Did you have cooler or a fridge to at your office? Thinking about getting a personal fridge to store, unless a cooler is enough.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@Xtabbikatx When BF at home, you can pump in-between feedings. Be forewarned though, that may increase your supply if you do it frequently enough. I always had one side that produced way more than the other, so when I pumped at home, I would nurse from that side only and simultaneously pump on the other, just to have a little more to add to the stash.
I did have a fridge at work, but a cooler should be enough. You can store BM at room temp for up to 8 hours, but if that makes you nervous, you can always use ice packs.
Kellymom is a great resource tool. There are also tons of BF support groups on FB.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

@Xtabbikatx I agree that Kellymom is a great resource. For me, i had to follow a schedule that worked at work. So, I would pump during my plan, and then during lunch, and if i had to on the drive home. While i was at home, I would pump after a feeding (which as @kfren said, can/will increase your supply). You can also pump in between feedings once you get on a "schedule." I would not worry about starting a stash until your second week or so to let things settle down. Also, once DD dropped a night feeding, you can still get up and pump then. I found (and most other women do too), that the pump session in the morning, 6amish, you will get the most. You'll figure out what works best.

Some moms have put pumping tips in the bottle thread too.

meg95995 · February 2018

@sunshineandwhiskey I love that you would pump on the drive home. I would pump while I drove (setting up before driving, and pulling over to put everything away). I got such a laugh out of imagining the reactions of the people in the cars beside me! I truly don't think anyone ever really noticed, since I use a cover, but it still looks so weird!

aharv77 · February 2018

Maybe I'm a little early to be thinking about this but I'm wondering how far some of you mama's commute to/from work? With our move to a new office building next week, I'm about 40-45 minutes from work to the hospital where I will be giving birth on a good traffic day.

Did anyone commute this far with their first? I had a scheduled induction with DD but even if I would have gone into labor on my own, I was only 10 minutes from the hospital. I'm planning to talk to my OB about it at my next appointment but thinking that trying to plan a "work from home" schedule the last week or two before my due date might be a good idea. Thoughts?

lisa2589 · February 2018

@aharv77 I don’t have a traffic issues but live out of town, about 30 minutes from the hospital. With my first it wasn’t an issue. However I’m wondering how it’s going to go this time with DD in the picture who will need to be taken someplace while we’re en route. Does your kiddo’s location factor into this as well?Maybe I’m the oddball but 30-40 minutes of driving would be the most I would be comfortable with I think. I would suggest trying the work from home option as you near the end if possible!!

aharv77 · February 2018

@l2589 We still have to figure out a plan for DD when the moment happens. Our house is only 10 minutes from the hospital, DD's school and my in-laws all live within a mile of us so I'd imagine they'll play a part in being with DD.

mytinc · February 2018

@aharv77 I worked from home the last few weeks before my due date since my commute was 40 minutes from the hospital & home. Since DS2 had heart issues I was 60 minutes from the hospital for delivery (with the needed NICU for his condition) and worked 90 minutes from the hospital. So I worked from home the last few weeks again.
I ended up getting induced for pre-e both times, so it didn't matter for me in the long run.

marcus7676 · February 2018

@aharv77 We commute about 30 minutes (with HOV) to the office. On a good day, our home is about 25 minutes from the hospital I delivered DS at. Luckily, I went to the hospital at 8 pm with him so no traffic (and no baseball game traffic!). My office is probably 20 minutes from the hospital, but could be upwards of an hour with traffic. My labor with DS was so fast that I'm legitimately concerned this time and considering the hospital near my house (10 minutes away from home, but 30 minutes from work). I have to decide by 28 weeks and I have no idea what to do. My fear isn't going into labor at work (which I did with DS), but the 2 am wake up.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@aharv77 I've given up even trying to have a plan, as both plans I had with DD & DS didn't amount to a hill of beans. My MIL knows she is on standby as far as DD & DS go. She lives 15 minutes away and works about 5 minutes from our house and daycare. DH and I work at the same place, which is 15 minutes from home. Hospital is also 15 minutes from home. Even though I am 30 minutes from the hospital while at work, if I could, I would opt to work at home. I think it would be easier to pre-labor if you were comfy and not stressed out about getting to the hospital.

@marcus7676 I would have had the 2am wake up with DS, had I been asleep. DD had a stomach bug and just as she stopped getting sick, I started. By the time I called the OB, made arrangements for DD, and got to the hospital, I was 8 cm.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

@aharv77 We live about 35 minutes from the hospital. The first time around we just planned to go when I was in labor, but instead I went to see my doctor and he said with my blood pressure and other symptoms I should just head to the hospital for induction.

This one we are doing a planned c-section.

For most people 30-45 minutes is not a big deal as long as you have a driver. You don't want to be having contractions and driving. Usually people are in labor for hours. Always exceptions to the rule. Working from home if given the option is probably a great idea. Most places would rather you work from the house than go into labor at work.

rnielsen321 · February 2018

@aharv77
I commuted 60 minutes to and from home and was 75 minute to 80 minutes from the hospital with DD. Now, there were probably 2 -3 emergency hospitals between my work and home as we were in Toronto. So I was never that concerned with not being able to get to my hospital. As it turns out I was induced due to cholostasis, so was working from home off and on for the 2 weeks leading up to when I delivered. And there is a 70% chance I will be diagnosed again, so I suspect this will be a process for me.

Now, we just moved this summer and I am 25 minutes from home 35 from the hospital, with another hospital on the way, so I am confident it will be okay. I am more concerned as to DD logistics (daycare pick up, overnights, car seats etc. my parents are in their 70s)

dinodna3 · February 2018

Our hospital is never more than like 15 mins away from where I would be. So I’m not concerned on getting there in time. I am concerned on who will watch DD and DS if I go into labor early. My parents would usually be the ones watching them but they decided to book a trip to Mexico mid-May. So I told
my sister and her H, they are on call when my parents are gone. They are child free and have never watched the kids overnight. Also, DH travels anywhere from 2-10 hours away for work. He knows not to book any meeting out of town the last two weeks (learned that the hard way with DD, where he was 5 hrs away) but if I go early it will be a scramble again.

Lolalipsy · February 2018

My 4-year old catches me getting undressed and comments how big my tummy has grown. So I say, yes sweetheart that's what happens when you have a baby your tummy and other things get a little bit bigger. So she looks me up and down and says, "yes, and the tops of your arms Mama".

May14th2011 · February 2018

My 2yo ds is going to hourly care today for two hours for the first time. I'm excited for him, but also freaking out. He definitely needs to go, I'm hoping interaction with other kids his age will help him talk more, but I'm worried he's going to be scared. He's very outgoing and bold so I'm sure he'll be fine but mom worries, you know...

llamamama14 · February 2018

@may142011 He'll be fine.

DS started a 2s preschool last fall and there were lots of worried mommas and crying kids but everyone's loving school now.

Ignorant question- When your kid is invited to a birthday party at a place like Gymboree or a trampoline park is the assumed etiquette that the hosting parents pay for everyone? We're just entering the world of kid birthday parties with our 3 y.o.

mytinc · February 2018

@dinodna3 - My parents are also my go-to for our kids (they live within a mile of our house), but they'll be in Africa until May 19, which is when I'm 37 weeks. I was induced due to pre-e at 38 weeks with DS1 and 37 weeks 3 days with DS2. So I'm figuring it may be even earlier this time and my parents would be completely out of pocket.

MIL is over an hour away and is one of those people that literally takes 2-3 hours to prepare to leave the house and once she's at our place she's kind of useless as far as helping with the kids (she's 75 and if she doesn't want breakfast until 11 am she honestly doesn't think to make anyone else breakfast either). I'm almost thinking of contacting our previous in home sitter that we used until about a year ago (she's 23 and needed a job with benefits, but watched the boys at our house for over a year before that). Perhaps I can work out a deal to have her on call if necessary...

aharv77 · February 2018

@llamamama14 If DD is invited to a place like that for a birthday, the hosting parents have always paid. And likewise, we hosted a few of DD's friends at the local trampoline park for her birthday this past year and paid for her friends. I usually assume they'll pay but plan to have money on hand just in case they don't!

dinodna3 · February 2018

@mytinc Ah, that would stress me out. Hope you can find someone to watch the boys as a back up.

@llamamama14 I’ve only been to one party like that and the hosts paid for it. I’m assuming that is the norm.

catlady1215 · February 2018

you ladies have me all worried. I haven't thought much about going into labor and what our plans would be for DS cause i'll be a planned csection. And when they induced me at 39wks, even after 2 long days, my cervix didn't budge.. steel trap! so I've just told myself that my body just won't do it and i'll calmly walk in there at 39 weeks again.

But ya never know huh!? my parents do live 5 mins away. and come back from vacay when I'm 37wks... but they have a summer camp that my mom spends a lot of time at and my dad works a lot. MIL lives 20 mins away in the opposite direction of the hospital. And all our siblings are the same if not farther. atleast DS will be 5.5 so shouldn't be bad to manage till someone met us there to take him.
I'm actually alittle more worried about DH and work. he's on the road all day, not in an office. and could be anywhere up to 1-1.5 hours away at anytime.

Austenista · February 2018

I live about 30 mins from the hospital. Before we moved (last time), I was 8mins. I have no real plans this pregnancy because of how everything went down last time with the pre-e. I really hope I don't get pre-e again - I'm taking two baby aspirin and bp meds in an effort to prevent it - but in the back of my mind, I know there's a possibility that it's going to happen all over again. My dad and sister live 2.5hrs away. If OB decides to induce me abruptly like last time, I'll try to either stall until my family can come to be with the boy, or leave him at home with DH and go alone until DH can join me.

If I am blessed enough to get to go into labor on my own, I want to stay home as long as I can before I head to the hospital which should give my fam time to get here. If I have to go before they can arrive, I suppose we'll just take DS with us if I'm laboring and can't drive myself. Last case scenario, I do have a friend he can likely stay with near us until my family can come.

jsl82 · February 2018

@aharv77 with DD I worked for the most horrible company when it came to WFH (I once had pink eye and was home for 3 days to not infect the ENTIRE office and they bitched that I excited our 2 day policy). I took a regional train and Path (north NJs subway) to get to the office. During rush hour (with express trains and maximum train departures) it was a 1 hour commute for me. During the day, when I would have to wait longer for a train and would have to take a local- it was closer to 2.5 hours. HR didn't care- and I was tempted to talk to an employment lawyer about their WFH policies violating NJ's disability policy. DD was due the 8th of January, so I saved all my PTO/ sick time and used it all at the end of December. I was on PTO when I went into labor. With a June EDD you would need to make sure your office's policy's towards WFH align with any plans you are making. Most doctors will have no problem with giving you an extra couple of weeks of STD prior to your due date- but my OB said she needed to start documenting "complaints" in the weeks before to justify the claim.

Talk to your boss/ HR and your OB soon, so you aren't stuck when the time comes.

AFM, speaking of child care for the older kids- are any of you starting to freak out about the extra child care costs? Our daycare cost are going to slightly more than double when I go back to work in September. It will be like having a 2nd mortgage! I know we will managed- but the realization hit me this month when I was submitting my dependent care FSA.

pupsicle23 · February 2018

@may14th2011 My DD still resists drop off, but she loves school. Since moving up to the next toddler room, she talks nonstop about her friends and games they play. She’s learned so much. I’m actually worried about keeping her so stimulated when I’m home with her.

ugh yes to costs. Between my teaching salary and commute, we decided I’ll just stay home next year. Provided DH and I work things out. But if I need to work, I need a lesser commute. My principal is wonderful and trying to figure out a way for me to work part time on case management (I’m a special education teacher) and do paperwork at home/bring the kids to school once a week or whatever, since I’ll likely be replaced by a brand new teacher.

rnielsen321 · February 2018

With Canada's generour 1 year mat leave, and DD starting all day Junior Kindergarten in Sept 2019, we will only have 2 in full-time daycare for 4 months. PHEW! Timed that right! Not looking forward to the balloon in payments, but at least it is not going to drown us. We did make the move to a smaller city, (pop. 500,000) from Toronto in July, in part because of the incredibly high cost of daycare, and activities etc. Really glad we made the transition.

May14th2011 · February 2018

Daycare costs are why I don't work right now. (Well, the largest reason). I have no degree, so any job I get will be minimum wage, and won't come even close to covering daycare for 3 kids.
But I am working on my novel so maybe I'll get that done and submitted to publishers this year.

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