@acciocoffee I'm sorry, you are experiencing a very normal and unpleasant part of ttcal. In some ways, much as I always hope for a BFP, a BFP brings up more complicated feelings than a BFN for me.
@vlagrl29 For women who don't O on their own, the trigger shot forces their body to O. For women who do O on their own, the trigger shot is used for a couple of different reasons. Sometimes a woman Os late in the cycle and the RE wants to force the body to O earlier; sometimes if there are multiple follicles a trigger shot will be given so that all mature follicles will ovulate (as we already discussed before somewhere else on this board I think); and giving a trigger also helps to time intercourse or IUI since typically O will happen around 36 hours after trigger.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@tosh24 like you said, I’m sure the mental aspect of getting past the idea of injecting myself is worse than actually doing it, so I just have to get out of my own head and tell myself it’s no big deal.
Just picked up my letrozole from the pharmacy so I have it on hand whenever AF starts. No clue when that might be, but I’m happy to be ready for it in advance. Would have picked up the ovidrel too, but my insurance needed a prior auth for it, which wasn’t submitted yet. My insurance only just started covering anything fertility related this month, so no one really knows what’s covered or not yet. Said the prior auths can take some time to get approved, so I’m just glad my drs office is proactive about getting the prescriptions sent in ahead of time. Insurance companies really don’t make things easy, that’s for sure.
@pumpkinpancake glad you got meds. Ask pharmacy about any coupons or e-coupons. I use Walgreens and they have been helpful with getting my fertility meds reduced from even what my copay is. It’s worth a shot
@ccvslp SO much frustration! How are you dealing? I need pointers. I guess I am not very patient with this. @dpjennifer I am trying to stay busy in hopes of keeping my mind off of things. But still no AF....
1. Introduce yourself (if new): Had a D&C a week ago for my second loss in a row 2. Status? Waiting on AF; I suspect it will still be a few weeks 3. Rants/Raves: Rant: It's only January and I'm tired of the -30 degree weather and the snow! The hormones are making me grumpy Rave: I'm excited to have an appointment with my family doctor to get a referral to the fertility clinic! Also, I may actually have time to finish a book this weekend before it's due back at the library! Sometimes it's the small things 4. GTKY: What is your favorite bingeworthy Netflix show (or cable if you don't have Netflix)? Ooh, so many good shows on Netflix! Jane the Virgin, Ozark, The Good Wife, Stranger Things, Scandal.... I don't know Shameless, I'll have to check it out!
I just joined this board, but have found it very comforting and full of good information. TW***It's somehow comforting to see that I'm not the only one who has had babies with no issues and now seems to have unexplained infertility***End TW The stress and panic of being 40 and desperately wanting a baby is starting to get to me. Thankfully DH is supportive and is willing to do pretty much whatever it takes...other than get blood taken because he has a phobia about that!
@bakerstreetboys I'm so sorry for your losses. You're definitely not alone. Many of us have similar struggles. This is a great board to find support. Welcome. I hope your appointment goes well.
Edited to add: realizing you already introduced yourself and i already basically said this same thing before! Ha. That'll teach me for getting on here before the sun is up.
bakerstreetboys I had a HUGE fear of needles when I started this process. Now I feel like a human pincushion and I still don't like it, but it doesn't cause my blood pressure to sky rocket anymore. I don't watch them take it, and I still lay down to have it done... but you do what you have to do. Guess your DH will have to suck it up buttercup!
MicahDahn Ugh. I swear TTC and TTCAL especially is all about waiting. Good luck with the patience!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
Hi guys, I'm back after letting things "marinate" in my brain for a few days post RE appt.
@MicahDahn I don't have any great pointers. I feel like a crazy person most of the time. Just know that you're justified in it and so not alone.
@acciocoffee I hope you're feeling as okay as you can be... a big part of me is terrified to leave the bench; I can have all the hypothetical worries I want right now but that's when the fun will REALLY start.
So big update number 1 is that I had a second RE appt with someone different next Tuesday as well (it took like six weeks to get in anywhere and I didn't want to start the clock all over if for some reason I wanted someone else) and I cancelled that puppy. DH and I both agree that it's time to just trust someone and work with someone and stop the incessant googling.. it's exhausting. This first RE comes with glowing reviews and recommendations and works for one of the top hospitals in the nation. Like..... relax for heaven's sake. Easier said than done.
Her thoughts were this: Not great that I'm having upwards of 40 day cycles at times, she would like me to use letrozole to hopefully "move up" ovulation. No monitoring needed, I don't need to be worried about hyperstimulation with it, and no trigger shot necessary to start since I do O on my own, just late. I asked about the thin lining and she said that it's a bit of a stumper (gee, thanks... lol) but she'd be more worried if my lining had thinned following D&C, which doesn't seem to be the case. She said getting to 7mm would be great (I was 3.5 last cycle) but some women just never get there.... there can be estrogen supplementation but she doesn't want to go with that yet as it can also suppress ovulation and I HAVE had something implant as I am before. We'll do an ultrasound at some point in the next couple months or even when I start medicated cycles around ovulation to see if it varies at all; I don't know, maybe she'd change her tune based on those results. As far as the MTHFR, she barely batted an eye at it (ugh). Wants to check my homocysteine levels, which I'm happy for, but mentioned high dose folic acid and B vitamins if it's high... I know I will take the right form of folate and NOT folic acid and if my homocysteine is high I'll be fighting her to take lovenox while KU for sure.
I'm happy for a plan and that someone who has been doing this for a while and with a reputable place has a positive outlook for me. I guess I'm just nervous about what may happen still and I'm probably going to be nervous no matter what with post loss brain. I need to let go and have faith and I know that. The MTHFR is the biggie for me - I have seen dozens and dozens of stories of women with the same mutation combination as me having multiple losses and even late losses and then going on to successful pregnancies with lovenox. I don't want to gamble that - I don't know if I could forgive myself in that process; I would feel like I should have fought harder. So I'm prepared to be a little "pushy" about maybe consulting with MFM or a hematologist about it somewhere if this RE won't budge. Any thoughts on how to be "pushy" with doctors? It gives me super anxiety and is not my style at all to push back with anyone like that but this is a big deal to me. By no means do I want to experience those lovenox injections for nine months but you can bet I want to have peace of mind and a solid explanation/second opinion on the matter if I'm not taking it.
@ccvslp - I'm glad you have a plan with an RE you do like. I can understand that concern you have about the MTHFR so maybe you should push it and then get a second opinion with a MFM. It can't hurt and will put ease to you mind moving forward. I never felt that an OB got any of my concerns with doing medicated cycles so I met with an RE who put my mind a much better ease. I'll be starting clomid next week and I have to use an estrogen insert for a week to support lining.
@vlagrl29 I plan to get a little pushy if need be, especially if homocysteine is elevated. If RE won't get on board or refer I will see if my OB will refer me to MFM. I still wonder about my lining, too.... we'll see what the next ultrasound shows to start I guess. Maybe I'm not comfortable with this lady? lol.... I DO think though that it's less of that and more of the fact that I'm just going to worry and want to cross my t's and dot my i's no matter what. I just need to accept it.
@zamora_spin It's my understanding that being compound heterozygous (one each of the two mutations, one on each gene) is in itself a risk for clotting, particularly if homocysteine is elevated. I'm really curious to see how that lab comes back, I wonder if I should ask to be tested for others if it is or what they'll think?
@ccvslp Have you had other clotting tests done? I ask because my RE is all about baby aspirin (might not do much, but might help) but said she would only prescribe something more (she said heparin) if I had a proven clotting disorder. (I'm homozygous for an MTHFR mutation). She felt like there can be complications that are not worth the risk unless you have a clotting disorder/suspected immune issue. Idk, everyone's situation is different, maybe lovenox is different, I do think you have to do daily injections with that.
@zamora_spin I have heard that same rationale - that they go with a thinner sometimes for MTHFR only if its paired with something else; which I don't know. I'm actually seeing a naturopath that specializes in MTHFR next Wednesday (he and his wife and two kids all carry different combos). I may ask him about testing for other blood clotting issues, that could give me something to "go into" my follow up RE appt with. I have found functional docs very helpful so far in getting things figured out!
Got the results from both of my ultrasounds. Breast lump is just hormonal. And the pelvic ultrasound came back normal. So i have to call my dr on Monday to see what the next step is.
Re: TTCAL week of 1/22
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@tosh24 the thought of multiple mature follicles still makes me cringe. What you said makes sense though.
@dpjennifer I am trying to stay busy in hopes of keeping my mind off of things. But still no AF....
Married 12/2014
TTC#1: 4/2017
2. Status? Waiting on AF; I suspect it will still be a few weeks
3. Rants/Raves: Rant: It's only January and I'm tired of the -30 degree weather and the snow! The hormones are making me grumpy
4. GTKY: What is your favorite bingeworthy Netflix show (or cable if you don't have Netflix)? Ooh, so many good shows on Netflix! Jane the Virgin, Ozark, The Good Wife, Stranger Things, Scandal.... I don't know Shameless, I'll have to check it out!
I just joined this board, but have found it very comforting and full of good information. TW***It's somehow comforting to see that I'm not the only one who has had babies with no issues and now seems to have unexplained infertility***End TW The stress and panic of being 40 and desperately wanting a baby is starting to get to me. Thankfully DH is supportive and is willing to do pretty much whatever it takes...other than get blood taken because he has a phobia about that!
Edited to add: realizing you already introduced yourself and i already basically said this same thing before! Ha. That'll teach me for getting on here before the sun is up.
MicahDahn Ugh. I swear TTC and TTCAL especially is all about waiting. Good luck with the patience!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@MicahDahn I don't have any great pointers. I feel like a crazy person most of the time. Just know that you're justified in it and so not alone.
@acciocoffee I hope you're feeling as okay as you can be... a big part of me is terrified to leave the bench; I can have all the hypothetical worries I want right now but that's when the fun will REALLY start.
So big update number 1 is that I had a second RE appt with someone different next Tuesday as well (it took like six weeks to get in anywhere and I didn't want to start the clock all over if for some reason I wanted someone else) and I cancelled that puppy. DH and I both agree that it's time to just trust someone and work with someone and stop the incessant googling.. it's exhausting. This first RE comes with glowing reviews and recommendations and works for one of the top hospitals in the nation. Like..... relax for heaven's sake. Easier said than done.
Her thoughts were this: Not great that I'm having upwards of 40 day cycles at times, she would like me to use letrozole to hopefully "move up" ovulation. No monitoring needed, I don't need to be worried about hyperstimulation with it, and no trigger shot necessary to start since I do O on my own, just late. I asked about the thin lining and she said that it's a bit of a stumper (gee, thanks... lol) but she'd be more worried if my lining had thinned following D&C, which doesn't seem to be the case. She said getting to 7mm would be great (I was 3.5 last cycle) but some women just never get there.... there can be estrogen supplementation but she doesn't want to go with that yet as it can also suppress ovulation and I HAVE had something implant as I am before. We'll do an ultrasound at some point in the next couple months or even when I start medicated cycles around ovulation to see if it varies at all; I don't know, maybe she'd change her tune based on those results. As far as the MTHFR, she barely batted an eye at it (ugh). Wants to check my homocysteine levels, which I'm happy for, but mentioned high dose folic acid and B vitamins if it's high... I know I will take the right form of folate and NOT folic acid and if my homocysteine is high I'll be fighting her to take lovenox while KU for sure.
I'm happy for a plan and that someone who has been doing this for a while and with a reputable place has a positive outlook for me. I guess I'm just nervous about what may happen still and I'm probably going to be nervous no matter what with post loss brain. I need to let go and have faith and I know that. The MTHFR is the biggie for me - I have seen dozens and dozens of stories of women with the same mutation combination as me having multiple losses and even late losses and then going on to successful pregnancies with lovenox. I don't want to gamble that - I don't know if I could forgive myself in that process; I would feel like I should have fought harder. So I'm prepared to be a little "pushy" about maybe consulting with MFM or a hematologist about it somewhere if this RE won't budge. Any thoughts on how to be "pushy" with doctors? It gives me super anxiety and is not my style at all to push back with anyone like that but this is a big deal to me. By no means do I want to experience those lovenox injections for nine months but you can bet I want to have peace of mind and a solid explanation/second opinion on the matter if I'm not taking it.
@zamora_spin It's my understanding that being compound heterozygous (one each of the two mutations, one on each gene) is in itself a risk for clotting, particularly if homocysteine is elevated. I'm really curious to see how that lab comes back, I wonder if I should ask to be tested for others if it is or what they'll think?