FFFC

scottishlass1213 · January 2018

Thought I would start! What ya got today?

scottishlass1213 · January 2018

So we found out last night we're having another boy. I cried for 5 minutes on the couch and I think freaked DH out. I'm not unhappy, I love being a boy mom and had an inkling that is what I was meant to be, but just knowing this is it and not getting to see what a girl would be like or have a relationship with a girl like me and my mom has makes me really sad. I'm hoping it passes....

juliebird6 · January 2018

@scottishlass1213 Hugs, lady. I don't think that's flame worthy at all. It's okay to feel sad about that.

lakesideknitter · January 2018

Kind of tame, but I've been having WAYYYY too much caffeine this pregnancy. With DS, I was able to give up coffee completely for the first 18 weeks or so, and then definitely stayed under the 200 mg until he was born. This time around I've been at the 200mg limit pretty much every day, and I probably go over by a little bit at least twice a week. Oops.

Firemanswife11 · January 2018

lakesideknitter said:

Kind of tame, but I've been having WAYYYY too much caffeine this pregnancy. With DS, I was able to give up coffee completely for the first 18 weeks or so, and then definitely stayed under the 200 mg until he was born. This time around I've been at the 200mg limit pretty much every day, and I probably go over by a little bit at least twice a week. Oops.

Me too. I stick to coffee mostly but there are some days I've definitely gone over because of a large diet coke!

kcdo1010 · January 2018

Also going over caffeine suggestion. Probably because I couldn’t tell you what 200mg equates to. Oops

babybeanmetcalf · January 2018

scottishlass1213 said:

So we found out last night we're having another boy. I cried for 5 minutes on the couch and I think freaked DH out. I'm not unhappy, I love being a boy mom and had an inkling that is what I was meant to be, but just knowing this is it and not getting to see what a girl would be like or have a relationship with a girl like me and my mom has makes me really sad. I'm hoping it passes....

I'm a little worried that I will react this way if I find out I'm having another girl. I'll be so sad and I'm already feeling bad about it even though we dont know the sex yet. We can totally have our ways and just trade. Haha! Congrats on another lil boy!!!!

princesslockness · January 2018

A 2L of Dr. Pepper has 231mg of caffeine. So I'm good on that front.

@scottishlass1213 I'm sorry. I don't think that FFFC is remotely flameworthy as long as you move on and are ready to embrace and enjoy the new LO. Its hard to see a wish or dream leave.

My FFFC is I'm going to be taking an extra 45 minutes off every time we have a softball game. My Assist. Principal suggested the time I would need to leave compared to when the girls get released. Its an entire 30+ minutes more than I was thinking, but if the boss says so I'll take it.

hardlyhannah · January 2018

I am so annoyed because I thought of a really good one last night and now I can’t remember it.

juliebird6 · January 2018

I wear my bras like 150 times before washing them.

scottishlass1213 · January 2018

I mean I know I will be so in love with him and even a 3rd child wouldn't guarantee a girl. I think also on top of that, my kids won't have any cousins either so there's not even chance of being an Aunt to a niece that's adding into that either. My sister and BIL won't have kids and my husband's brother is never going to have kids either and that's it, both of us have small families.

derbysquirrel · January 2018

@Juliebird8307
Same. I justify it by telling myself that I'm keeping them from wearing out too fast since my (atypically sized) bread are so expensive, but really I'm just lazy, and only have a couple that I really love.

ecwk · January 2018

@scottishlass1213
I don't think that's flame worthy at all. I think it's totally OK to feel sad that you will never get to experience being a boy/girl mom. I don't know if I am explaining this the right way but if I have another boy, I would be thrilled to have another boy and simultaneously be a little sad to not have a girl, if that makes sense. I would not be sad that my boy isn't a girl. So no flames from me, I bet now you can start thinking of all the amazing things that come with having 2 boys. It's going to be a lot of fun!!!

Maybe my FFFC is when people complain of 'gender disappointment', meaning that they're upset that their child is not a boy/a girl, it really bothers me. I particularly dislike it because it's IMO a very insensitive comment to make when there are so many people who struggle to have children at all. Any time I have seen it posted, it's a pretty tone deaf comment to make. So unless someone is posting it in a forum dedicated to it, I just feel like it has the potential to really hurt others. Flame Away, I can take it.

derbysquirrel · January 2018

Since I'm only having one, I'll be a bit disappointed with whichever sex I don't have. When people ask what I'm hoping for, this is really what's in the back of my mind. I want both, but only one child.

delujm0 · January 2018

I'm with @ecwk it's totally reasonable to mourn a bit the loss of ever having one sex or the other, without actually being upset at the sex of your child. Totally understandable. Not understandable: people that have actual full on hissy fits about the sex of the child, are actually upset about the sex of the child, or are having another kid solely because they want one sex over the other (I mean it's still just a 50/50 shot, so be prepared to be disappointed). And it's the absolute worst when it's a person who plans to have additional children anyway but NEEDED this child to be one or the other. WHY.

my previous BMB had a serious dust up about this. Some B posted multiple threads about how she has 3 boys and needed this one to be a girl, and when the regs tried to set her straight she reported all of us and several people got banned. I only got one warning, but it was bullshit. My warning has since expired, so if this happens on this board, I am ready to go back into battle haha.

FWIW, I have 2 girls and truly don't care what this one is. If it's a boy, great, we don't have one of those yet and DH would like that. If it's another girl, great, we're already good at girls and have everything we could possibly need clothing wise. Truly no fucks given, even though it is definitely our last child.

kcdo1010 · January 2018

This pregnancy has turned me into the laziest SAHM ever. It’s pretty embarrassing how much time I’ve spent in bed/on couch and how much isn’t getting done around the house. 5+ loads of laundry need to be done, there are always dishes in the sink etc. I mean, it’s 942am and I’m laying in bed with my 3yo watching a movie. I brought a storage tub up with me to pack away Winter/Christmas clothes. It’s staring at me.

I cry cry a little inside, with joy, when my 7yo tells me she wants hot lunch. Holy victory for lazy self! LOL

meeks2020 · January 2018

I totally feel the desire for one sex or another. I absolutely love my son and I know I would be happy for him to have a brother, but I am really hoping for a girl and would need to mourn that 'loss' if we had another boy. I never had a mom or sister I was close with and would love to have a female offspring so I could have some sort of mother-daughter relationship I never had. Idk if that makes sense to anyone else. This will be our last either way, and I would love watching my son grow up with a little brother if it is a boy, but there's that big part of me hoping for a girl.

jsnakehole · January 2018

I'll definitely have some feelings if I end up with a boy- I really want a girl, and DH desperately wants a girl (I think mostly because he had a bad relationship with his father, and is worried if we have a son they'll have a similar relationship because his father didn't model how to be a good dad to a boy). But we plan on having at least two more, so we'll get that girl eventually. I'd really like a girl because my brother is having a girl, and I have a female cousin my age and we're so close. I'd love for my niece and daughter to have that relationship.

My FFFC is that I super judge the parents in my class when I message them about a behavioral issue with their kid and they read the message and don't respond. I can always tell they didn't address it with their kid and the problem just continues. I have one girl in my class I'm really starting to dislike (another FFFC- I have kids I really really dislike) because she's sneaky bad- she keeps bringing toys to school and putting them in her desk when I tell her not to, she doesn't do her work, she bothers the other kids at her table, is super nasty to other kids, and is just generally a big a problem. I message the parents, they read the messages, don't respond, and the problem continues. She's driving me nuts and I feel like the parents just don't care.

scottishlass1213 · January 2018

Yeah @ecwk , totally what you said. I'm not unhappy - I think 2 boys will be great and our first one was super easy and still is in personality. I guess its more just imagining what could have been for a girl, even if that wasn't even guaranteed either. Plus, I wanted to name her after my mom if we had a girl.

dirtanddiamonds · January 2018

scottishlass1213 said:

So we found out last night we're having another boy. I cried for 5 minutes on the couch and I think freaked DH out. I'm not unhappy, I love being a boy mom and had an inkling that is what I was meant to be, but just knowing this is it and not getting to see what a girl would be like or have a relationship with a girl like me and my mom has makes me really sad. I'm hoping it passes....

I have three girls. My sister has three girls. My SIL has three. My cousin has three boys. And my other SIL has four boys. None of us got a mix. Lol!! We’ve all had to go through our own bout of acceptance. My mom cried when my last was announced as another girl. She only has girl grandkids. Clearly it’s hard on her. Lol. Don’t feel bad. It’s normal. But once that baby is in your arms. It doesn’t matter anymore. Hugs.

Im secretly hoping for a girl again just because my mom is a turd. That’s my FFFC. Lol.

dirtanddiamonds · January 2018

princesslockness said:

A 2L of Dr. Pepper has 231mg of caffeine. So I'm good on that front.

@scottishlass1213 I'm sorry. I don't think that FFFC is remotely flameworthy as long as you move on and are ready to embrace and enjoy the new LO. Its hard to see a wish or dream leave.

My FFFC is I'm going to be taking an extra 45 minutes off every time we have a softball game. My Assist. Principal suggested the time I would need to leave compared to when the girls get released. Its an entire 30+ minutes more than I was thinking, but if the boss says so I'll take it.

on that topic, there’s a story floating the internet of a woman, I think she was Asian or islander, going to an abortion clinic and aborting twin baby girls. Perfectly healthy. Because she already had girls. And this was when she was 20-22 weeks pregnant. Kills me.

livinthesunnylife · January 2018

@dirtanddiamonds I hope that story isn't real :'( :'(

Growing up I always thought having 2 kids was perfect. But after having DS change my entire world into magical amazingness, I have felt like maybe 2 isn't enough. I joke that I might need 7. DH is still on 2. If at some point I have to agree to be done at 2, it's going to break my heart. So the sex matters way less to me than that decision on being done or not.

calimom2524 · January 2018

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my FFFC is that I want ticker changes!!! Nobody even did a DD check in this week!

dirtanddiamonds · January 2018

@livinthesunnylife It is really real. Albeit, she is bipolar and has been told she is or has BPD. So, she’s not all there. So, really, I shouldn’t take it to heart. But she’s still my mom. And she has some good moments. But she’s extremely narcissistic and the whole only granddaughters thing is very hard for her. Eye roll. It is what it is. I love her. Despite her insanity.

livinthesunnylife · January 2018

@calimom2524 dude....do it. You want it by day of the week that we're flipping? I can do Fridays, that's my day. We need a leader for each day.

calimom2524 · January 2018

livinthesunnylife said:

@calimom2524 dude....do it. You want it by day of the week that we're flipping? I can do Fridays, that's my day. We need a leader for each day.

Yes, and I'm Friday too so we can hang there

livinthesunnylife · January 2018

@calimom2524 Ok, I'll hunt one down and we'll start today!

juliebird6 · January 2018

@calimom2524 @livinthesunnylife YASSS. I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I'm a Thursday change-over so I will totally do those and whoever wants to join in can.

princesslockness · January 2018

@juliebird6 @calimom2524 @livinthesunnylife I will do Mondays again.

princesslockness · January 2018

Double post but oh well.

I had some mourning to do when we found out E was a girl. I had always dreamed of all boys, hate pink, and had only sisters growing up. I NEVER wanted a girl, just didn't see it being anything remotely fun unless she was a super tomboy. Now that little girl is wonderful. I am glad that I have her, but it took until she was born to fully come around.

Edit: to take away the 2nd and 3rd picture. My Mac didn’t show them in the post.

calimom2524 · January 2018

Being a boy mom is SO FUN. This one better be a girl, though. But look at the way DS2 is just in constant awe of DS1. I love watching them grow up together.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/c7/agbj1kpjqvdh.jpg

Firemanswife11 · January 2018

@princesslockness she's cute.... but that strawberry cake looks delicious. LOL!!

calimom2524 · January 2018

My FFFC: I drink wine in pregnancy. Not the first tri, but once second tri hits you better believe I enjoy me a glass of wine once in a while. Not like every day by any means, but I definitely still indulge when I want to. FLAME AWAY!

princesslockness · January 2018

@Firemanswife11 Thanks!! The cake was really good, and I have had it several times since.

hezzer78 · January 2018

@dirtanddiamonds OMG that story about the Asian woman is terrible - maybe there's more to it than that? Like maybe another reason?? Is it even true?

@princesslockness @calimom2524 Awww! How adorable!!

I'm all for ticker changes. I switch on Thursday so I'll join you @julibird6!!

My FFFC is that sometimes when ordering sushi or chinese food takeout, I pretend there's someone else in the room with me so they won't think I'm ordering all that food for one person.

juliebird6 · January 2018

@hezzer78 I'm dumb. I actually change on Wednesdays, so I'll take that day!

hezzer78 · January 2018

@juliebird6 No worries! I'll take Thursday then!

alinafed · January 2018

ecwk said:

@scottishlass1213
I don't think that's flame worthy at all. I think it's totally OK to feel sad that you will never get to experience being a boy/girl mom. I don't know if I am explaining this the right way but if I have another boy, I would be thrilled to have another boy and simultaneously be a little sad to not have a girl, if that makes sense. I would not be sad that my boy isn't a girl. So no flames from me, I bet now you can start thinking of all the amazing things that come with having 2 boys. It's going to be a lot of fun!!!

Maybe my FFFC is when people complain of 'gender disappointment', meaning that they're upset that their child is not a boy/a girl, it really bothers me. I particularly dislike it because it's IMO a very insensitive comment to make when there are so many people who struggle to have children at all. Any time I have seen it posted, it's a pretty tone deaf comment to make. So unless someone is posting it in a forum dedicated to it, I just feel like it has the potential to really hurt others. Flame Away, I can take it.

I read your comment a couple times and just want to clarify - IYO is gender disappointment always disappointment about the sex of the actual child? Because I have used that term in the past about myself but NOT to mean that, to mean what you said in the first paragraph about not experiencing the other sex. Just genuinely curious to hear more of your opinion on this because at first I could not reconcile your two paragraphs, but then reading it a few times I THINK you are saying the difference is disappointment about the sex of your actual child vs not experiencing the opposite sex? I just ask because I never thought of gender disappointment to really be about the former but the latter (though maybe the technical definition would say it is). Hope this is clear and makes at least a little sense!

ecwk · January 2018

So we are not doing the due date week check ins? Just wanted to clarify.

@hezzer78 mmmmmmmmmmm I want chinese food now!

@princesslockness @calimom2524 your kids are toooooo cute!!!

princesslockness · January 2018

@alinafed I know you weren't talking to me, but I am answering for myself.

On my other 2 BMBs and everywhere I have 'heard' of gender disappointment it has been used to refer to unhappiness, or stronger emotions, with the actual sex of a child. I believe @ecwk 's second paragraph was directed at some of the posters in THIS thread.

ecwk · January 2018

@alinafed I mean that when someone says they are upset/angry/depressed that their child is a boy or their child is a girl, that pisses me off. There is a subtle but distinct difference between saying that and saying "oh, I'm thrilled to be having another boy but I do feel sad at the thought of never having a girl".

Edit to clarify: the first situation above is what I consider "gender disappointment" because any time I have read such things here or on other forums, that is how it is expressed.

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