I imagine they do, but I'm planning on laboring at home as long as I can, so that's when the doula will be most helpful I think. They don't want you getting to the birth center until contractions are 3 mins apart. Or maybe 5 for STM.
@comealongponds thank you so much for that info! I am not in this situation but its good to know my thoughts were totally off!
@castlec3 I am really sorry for putting the wrong info out there! I am glad you do your own research and we have such knowledgeable ladies on the board to set me straight and give you the RIGHT information!
@zande2016 I thought about a doula as well, but DH was the only doula I needed! He was amazing and gentle and so good at giving reminders on techniques without making me feel pushed into things or like he was ordering me around. And if you met him, the fact that he could do that would surprise you, lol! Anyway, just saying you could try and educate your hubs, or educate together, and he might do a really great job advocating for you and/or leading you through the birth and pain techniques, especially at home. I was induced, so I was in the hospital for the entire process, but until I pushed, he was the only person in the room with me unless the nurses came in to check the baby's HR. And I was at a hospital (albeit one with low intervention).
I'm catching up so I can't tag everyone, but sending support to those struggling with sleep or LO non cooperating:)
@SmashJam@ckmb_knottie@zande2016 I am honestly unsure if I wanna go unmedicated but I would like you to try. the reason why I want a doula is because I also want to labor at home as long as I possibly can and because I want to avoid interventions at the hospital; having someone knowledgeable vouching for me while I'm there would be helpful. I need to start interviewing people.
Post partum doula is what I'll do if I can't afford one for labor, and I plan of putting that on the registry actually! I have a lot of contacts through my prenatal yoga teacher training and have heard that many put their services on the registry in lieu of items. Personally, I love that! They also do lactation consulting (some do) and even help with things around the house if needed - though my mom will do that, lol (I have high expectations, this is her first and potentially only grandchild!).
@ckmb_knottie that does sound steep. Which state are you in? I'm clueless on $$. @SmashJam definitely also considering DH being my doula! He is super open to learning, he is calming, patient... everything I am not!
@zande2016 I'm getting slammed with taxes this year, I already know...but I might give up fancy baby items and splurge on the doula... we'll see!
My mom was my doula last time, my husband is great and all but he's is clueless in situations like that and my mom had 4 kids of her own and was there for all her grandchildrens births so she was a big help. But this time we will prob need her to take care of the toddler. Postpartum doulas do so much, from lactation support, helping with baby, folding laundry etc. Also apparently a lot of women in my area hire "baby nurses" or "night nurses" for a few weeks or couple months but even if we could afford it that's not really my style. Helpful for some though
@zande2016 agree on the night nurse. Not my style either. I know a couple of friends who hired them. bu DH has paid paternity leave and my mom will be there during the day so I *think* we can at least try to survive nights on our own (---> regrets saying this in 6 months)
@zande2016 that makes sense! Also..forgot you had done this before and probably knew what your hubs was capable of! I hope I didn't sound too incredibly know it all!
Now post partum doula...that sounds amazing!. I'll have to see what is up in our area in terms of that!
No worries @SmashJam! Last time I was also induced and asked for an epidural right away so (hopefully) this will be a totally different birthing experience for me. I am trying for an intervention free water birth out of the hospital if my blood pressure cooperates, so it's sort of new to me.
@kissableviv how are you putting that on your registry? What registry are you using? That's a great idea! Also when it comes to unmedicated I almost threw in the towel first time around. Later the midwife told me my ability to move and do squats and lunges to get my sons head out of my pelvic bone was what saved me from a c-section, if I was medicated I wouldn't have been able to do it, and c-section avoidance was in my birth plan (I have never had surgery and it scares me!). So second time around, I went for it all in knowing that the freedom might save me from intervention. They also discharged me 20 hours after birth (and would have done it at 12 hours, but there was a snow storm) so I could go be with my daughter at the other hospital, which they would not have done if I had the epidural or any narcotics. So at this point all I know is that it has been one of the big things on my side post birth and during birth (although admittedly the last thing is not a normal situation). My births, however, have been 6.5 hours and 5.5 hours respectively, from "Oh shit, whats that weird feeling" to baby. So I didn't have to endure it for as long as some!
I would love a postpartum doula after my c section! But last i checked they were expensive in my area. I have a few family members offering to fly up to help. However it makes me nervous because my mom and MIL can drive me nuts very quickly. My sister and SIL are teachers so i feel like i need to prioritize them due to having limited vacation time. DS will still be going to his sitter.
@SmashJam your story is a big reason why I want to avoid medication if possible! Also because I'm a complete control freak and can't imagine being numb from the neck down or too "out of it" to make decisions, or be totally aware of what's going on at all times. @kissableviv I'm in Ohio, I'm looking into a few other doulas who are closer to $900. They generally have 1-2 pre-birth visits and a post-birth visit. I think my hospital has a post-birth nurse visit also, so I guess I feel covered for post birth, but I also know I have no clue what I'm talking about, yet
@SmashJam I second what @ckmb_knottie is saying and I think that's exactly why I want to labor at home if possible because I want the ability to move, squat, use the ball, etc. I know how a lot of those movements can help move the baby naturally.
I can’t recommend laboring at home enough! I labored at home until I couldn’t take it anymore and sure enough when I got to the hospital I was already 9cm. Labor got sooo much more painful in the hospital, I think because I had to sit or lay down while they measured me and moved me around. Being able to move how you need to and walk off the pain helps SO much.
Just want to add that for ladies feeling open to epidurals, if done right (story later), work really well and do not always slow things down. My 2nd labor progressed quickly and easily after my epidural was put in when I was at 7cm dilated. I did NOT get pitocin during labor either. Once the meds took effect I couldn't feel anything from the waist down while pushing and DS was still high at first so the doctor let me rest for an hour as the meds slowly wore off. When she came back I pushed again for another half hour and baby was out. I was up and moving about an hour later and recovered super well. I didn't tear like I did the first time (I was worried my scar tissue would be weak but it held up). I also didn't have a spinal headache. My only complication was an infection developed in the amniotic fluid during my hour of rest and DS had to go to NICU immediately for testing/monitoring. He was only there for a few hours but we had to wait 48 hrs for his culture to come back clean. I was allowed to remain admitted the entire time even tho I felt great.
My first labor was waaaay harder. I was admitted earlier (at 4cm) and my epidural I eventually got did not go well. They took it out and put in a spinal and that only worked on half my lower body and the other half was excruciating pain. I pushed hard for 3 hours, had a vaginal tear, and ended up with a horrible spinal headache for over a week after (if u get this, GET a blood patch right away!).
Obvs this did not deter my decision to try the epidural again, and both deliveries we're at a local major teaching hospital. And my doctor was not the one who delivered either of my babies (her practice rotates days) and it was no big deal at all. The doctors who delivered my babies were awesome.
For #3, my husband thinks I could go without the epidural so I want to try to see if I can. He said I did so well last time (with his help) while laboring at home. We'll see!
I want to start a new thread about this so it doesn’t get buried, but I’m skerred.
Moms on progesterone support - did you spot when you weaned off? I had an ultrasound yesterday so I know everything is fine but afterwards there was slight spotting when I wiped. I just went down to one 100mg pill on Wednesday.
@Lelo2006 I did not spot, but my dr told me it was a possibility after coming off.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@flockofmoosen3 I am allll about the epidural. I got one with my twins because there wasn the risk of an emergency CS with twin B since he was breech (twin B is higher risk of cord prolapse and distress) and there was the potential they would need to turn him internally or externally once A was born or deliver him breech.
It also made me progress waaaaay faster as well. I got to about a 4 without it (despite them trying to stop labour since I was preterm). My contractions were 2-3min apart from the get go and progressed non-stop within two hours. I couldn’t relax, nitrous made me nauseous and morphine didn’t even make a dent. Once I got the epi I was able to relax and I got to 10 in just a few more hours. I’m team epi again this time since I did end up with an urgent CS with the twins (malpresentation) and now if i TOLAC im at risk of rupture and I’d rather not need a GA if that’s the case.
@Lelo2006 I stopped taking progesterone around 10-11 weeks and had no spotting. I was worried too, but my Dr convinced me that I probably didn't need it past implantation anyway, and that REs are usually over-cautious. Whether or not that's true, it helped.
I am definitely team epi. even though dd went into distress (it was not from the epi) and I had to have an emergency C. I progressed a lot faster once I was able to relax and feel more calm
@comealongponds and @lindsayleigh1989 that makes sense that being able to relax and stay calm during labor helped the progression. I felt the same way in birth #2. I just felt I needed to make the point that epidurals aren't bad in case someone felt guilty for wanting one with some members talking about going med-free. I know I felt pressure to do the same when I was pregnant with #1 because it was talked about so much and all I heard were bad epidural stories.
I'm jumping in about the epi without reading everything, sorry!
So, I wanted to avoid the epi at ALL cost, well the epi and pitocin.
I was induced at 41 weeks, pumped full of pitocin for 12 hours and had my water broken by my doctor before caving and getting the epi. I'm so glad I did, I was exhausted and it let me sleep and my body relax. I had DD another 12 hours after that, pushed for 20 minutes. Full disclosure, my blood pressure crashed super low right after getting the epi and I had to have meds to bring it back to a safe level, though I think that happens and it isn't a huge deal. I also had the shakes off and on during labor after getting the epi. However, it was totally fine and I'm open to the epi again.
So I should clarify, absolutely no one should feel guilty for wanting the epi, it's just something i decided not to do this time based on my own personal experience. I was induced a week early due to high blood pressure, got the Epi as soon as they broke my water, felt no pain after that, had zero complications, and had my baby 8 hours later. But, something they put in that Epidural made me itch like crazy. It was horrible. Also, I was chained to that bed for like 8 hours and it was not comfortable. The itching was so bad they had to add Benadryl to my iv, which helped but knocked me out. It was good to rest, except I was terrified I wouldn't be able to wake up to push, and was miserable trying to be present for the experience while physically unable to. Then the itching came back, more benedryl, repeat process. During pushing, I was so numb I had no clue when I was contracting to know when to push. When they inserted the epidural, they couldn't feel my spine because I was soooo swollen, so they went in blind and hit the wrong spot at first. That was excruciating and honestly to this day sometimes I feel soreness in that spot. So even with all those negatives, I might have chosen to get one again, but I had other negative experiences after my son was born, some may or may not have to do with the epidural, but it was enough to make me decide I want to avoid being in a hospital at all next time. With the birth center, you can't get an epidural. It's just not an option there. So by default, the choice is made I won't be getting one (unless I get High BP again and need to be induced). If induced again, there's a good chance I'll get the epidural bc pitocin contractions are no joke. I don't want to scare people so I won't go into details about my decision not to use a hospital again, just wanted to share my positive and negatives experiences with the epidural and tell FTM to do what feels right for them.
@flockofmoosen3 I ALMOST jumped in and edited my words to add that no one should feel guilty wanting an epi-but then I realized my post was more geared towards people that were interested in going med free and not making people feel better about the epidural. I definitely don't want people to think the only way to birth is going med free-but someone specifically tagged me and said they weren't sure about going med free so I added my story, and in no way intended it to make those who did their birth with an epi feel like they made a bad choice, so if I did, that wasn't my intention.
I am proud of my birth story, as well all should be, regardless of how we did it, because we grew tiny humans and that's the end result!
In theory I would love to do natural and unmedicated, but after my son's delivery I am all for hospitals and medecine for this next one. Delivery was complicated and terrifying for both my son and I, and being in the hospital realistcally saved both our lives, so that's definitely what I'll be doing again. Im always a bit envious of things like water birth, though, they look like incredible experiences, just unfortunately not in our cards. I also had a 28 hr labor with my son with intense back labor so I'm glad I got an epi. Epidurals do not cover back labor, and I'm not going to lie, that sh*t is excruciating. I honestly don't know how I would have been mentally with all the delivery hardships if I hadn't gotten those couple hours of reprieve from labor before my water broke and the back labor kicked in (granted, I'd also been up up for like 48 hours, so that wasn't helping).
@SmashJam You absolutely nailed it about having pride in one's own birth story, whatever that looked like. Every story is incredible, and ever mama is one tough chic
Adding a comment to say that I also think there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting an epidural, I'm a FTM so I'm sure I have a lot of hopes and dreams that may be crush once I get to the big day and you know what I'm totally open to whatever happens as long as the babe and I are healthy and safe and that whatever is done to me in terms of interventions is necessary to get us both home safe:)
Also, while having a COLD this holiday season I was mumbling to DH "this sucks without meds, I'm gonna need an epidural when I give birth"...so yeah, I have a lot to learn if I even want to consider no epidural!
I didn’t have a birth plan. I just figured I’d see how it went. I labored for 36 hours.
First 12 was cervidel (spelling?) - then pitocin - so I got an epidural. I’ll be honest the worst part was the epidural - then after about 16 hours it stopped working so when I went from a 4-10 and pushing I was No longer medicated.
Again in I will have no plan going in and will just see how it goes. I feel having to much of a plan of how you want things to go sets you up for disappointment
I certainly don't feel guilty about getting an epidural for both births of mine. I was sooo happy with my 2nd experience, when everything just seemed to go right compared to the first time.
I am looking forward to finding out if I can do 100% med free this last time, but just as a personal challenge. DH was a fantastic doula last time so we're gonna give a shot!
Funny story...with DD my MIL somehow got roped into holding one of my legs while I pushed for 3.5hrs, so she is super familiar with my lady parts now. Haha, she was a good sport and isn't weird about it. She was visibly relieved tho when I said she wasn't obligated to help with DS lol!
@flockofmoosen3 my MIL came to help us at home the first week home and I was having major issues breastfeeding. She eventually got to know my upper body very well. I just let it hang out after a while because of how sore and my nipples were bleeding. Walked around with pumps attached to me. Hope that won't be the case this time around, but family members better be ready for the unexpected!
I went in with the plan for no meds but that if I absolutely needed the epidural then why not! My birthing center was very good at not having strong opinions or swaying moms one way or the other because the bottom line is epidurals don’t effect the baby negatively, which is what I always thought! I was induced because I was 41weeks, but once my water broke my labor was pretty quick and I was ready to push within a few hours. My midwife said it didn’t make sense to get an epidural at that time because my body was so ready at that point. So I didn’t and out came my 9lb 14.5 oz baby! Couldn’t even tell she was so enormous until my mom said “she’s huge!”. Moral of the story is to do what the body needs! No shame in that at all
I did the same as @julianne0. Planned unmedicated but kept the epi card in my back pocket. I was induced at 41 weeks but was able to avoid pitocin. I had a LEEP procedure that left scarring on my cervix though, which caused me to go from a 1 to a 6 with intense pains when the scar tissue broke. I didn't feel I could get on top of the pain after that (even with a doula) so I got the epi. I loved my birth and don't regret anything about it. I won't be hiring a doula this time though - the nurses at the hospital I delivered at are amazing!!! She brought the peanut ball, encouraged me to walk, etc before my doula got there and took over.
Re: Questions w/o 1/8
@castlec3 I am really sorry for putting the wrong info out there! I am glad you do your own research and we have such knowledgeable ladies on the board to set me straight and give you the RIGHT information!
ETA: words
@SmashJam @ckmb_knottie @zande2016 I am honestly unsure if I wanna go unmedicated but I would like you to try. the reason why I want a doula is because I also want to labor at home as long as I possibly can and because I want to avoid interventions at the hospital; having someone knowledgeable vouching for me while I'm there would be helpful. I need to start interviewing people.
Post partum doula is what I'll do if I can't afford one for labor, and I plan of putting that on the registry actually! I have a lot of contacts through my prenatal yoga teacher training and have heard that many put their services on the registry in lieu of items. Personally, I love that! They also do lactation consulting (some do) and even help with things around the house if needed - though my mom will do that, lol (I have high expectations, this is her first and potentially only grandchild!).
@ckmb_knottie that does sound steep. Which state are you in? I'm clueless on $$. @SmashJam definitely also considering DH being my doula! He is super open to learning, he is calming, patient... everything I am not!
@zande2016 I'm getting slammed with taxes this year, I already know...but I might give up fancy baby items and splurge on the doula... we'll see!
Now post partum doula...that sounds amazing!. I'll have to see what is up in our area in terms of that!
My only complication was an infection developed in the amniotic fluid during my hour of rest and DS had to go to NICU immediately for testing/monitoring. He was only there for a few hours but we had to wait 48 hrs for his culture to come back clean. I was allowed to remain admitted the entire time even tho I felt great.
My first labor was waaaay harder. I was admitted earlier (at 4cm) and my epidural I eventually got did not go well. They took it out and put in a spinal and that only worked on half my lower body and the other half was excruciating pain. I pushed hard for 3 hours, had a vaginal tear, and ended up with a horrible spinal headache for over a week after (if u get this, GET a blood patch right away!).
Obvs this did not deter my decision to try the epidural again, and both deliveries we're at a local major teaching hospital. And my doctor was not the one who delivered either of my babies (her practice rotates days) and it was no big deal at all. The doctors who delivered my babies were awesome.
For #3, my husband thinks I could go without the epidural so I want to try to see if I can. He said I did so well last time (with his help) while laboring at home. We'll see!
Moms on progesterone support - did you spot when you weaned off? I had an ultrasound yesterday so I know everything is fine but afterwards there was slight spotting when I wiped. I just went down to one 100mg pill on Wednesday.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
It also made me progress waaaaay faster as well. I got to about a 4 without it (despite them trying to stop labour since I was preterm). My contractions were 2-3min apart from the get go and progressed non-stop within two hours. I couldn’t relax, nitrous made me nauseous and morphine didn’t even make a dent. Once I got the epi I was able to relax and I got to 10 in just a few more hours. I’m team epi again this time since I did end up with an urgent CS with the twins (malpresentation) and now if i TOLAC im at risk of rupture and I’d rather not need a GA if that’s the case.
more calm
So, I wanted to avoid the epi at ALL cost, well the epi and pitocin.
I was induced at 41 weeks, pumped full of pitocin for 12 hours and had my water broken by my doctor before caving and getting the epi. I'm so glad I did, I was exhausted and it let me sleep and my body relax. I had DD another 12 hours after that, pushed for 20 minutes. Full disclosure, my blood pressure crashed super low right after getting the epi and I had to have meds to bring it back to a safe level, though I think that happens and it isn't a huge deal. I also had the shakes off and on during labor after getting the epi. However, it was totally fine and I'm open to the epi again.
I am proud of my birth story, as well all should be, regardless of how we did it, because we grew tiny humans and that's the end result!
@SmashJam You absolutely nailed it about having pride in one's own birth story, whatever that looked like. Every story is incredible, and ever mama is one tough chic
Also, while having a COLD this holiday season I was mumbling to DH "this sucks without meds, I'm gonna need an epidural when I give birth"...so yeah, I have a lot to learn if I even want to consider no epidural!
First 12 was cervidel (spelling?) - then pitocin - so I got an epidural. I’ll be honest the worst part was the epidural -
then after about 16 hours it stopped working so when I went from a 4-10 and pushing I was No longer medicated.
Again in I will have no plan going in and will just see how it goes. I feel having to much of a plan of how you want things to go sets you up for disappointment
I am looking forward to finding out if I can do 100% med free this last time, but just as a personal challenge. DH was a fantastic doula last time so we're gonna give a shot!
Funny story...with DD my MIL somehow got roped into holding one of my legs while I pushed for 3.5hrs, so she is super familiar with my lady parts now. Haha, she was a good sport and isn't weird about it. She was visibly relieved tho when I said she wasn't obligated to help with DS lol!
I was induced because I was 41weeks, but once my water broke my labor was pretty quick and I was ready to push within a few hours. My midwife said it didn’t make sense to get an epidural at that time because my body was so ready at that point. So I didn’t and out came my 9lb 14.5 oz baby! Couldn’t even tell she was so enormous until my mom said “she’s huge!”.
Moral of the story is to do what the body needs! No shame in that at all
For reference, I'm in TX and my doula was $500.