STM + check in 1/10

serenbach · January 2018

How far along are you?
9+1

Boy/Girl/ Team Green/Don't Know Yet?
Team green (found out last time)

How old are your other kid(s)?
DS who was 3 in October

Rants/Raves/Questions (related to being a STM, stages your kids are going through, or anything else)-
Im already losing my mind at the thought of how much childcare I will be paying for with 2, it’s been so stressful with just one trying to figure out if family will look after him on certain days and being let down at the last minuet and ringing the Creche to try and get him in! But he started school in January (UK based so they start mornings when they turn 3) so I’m hoping things will ease by the time I finish my maternity leave.

GTKY: What is something you thought you needed the first time around but never actually used?

Scratch mittens! I had soooo many of them and I don’t think they ever stayed on for more than 0.1 seconds!

juliebird6 · January 2018

@princesslockness @delujm0 @LizQ2 You ladies are giving me hope. Mine will be exactly 16 months apart and some days I am terrified and horrified, like WTF have I done to myself? Is this going to be awful? But reading your comments about your kids being best friends makes me feel slightly better about it. Still pretty worried about the first year though. Gonna be rough. Like straight on antidepressants, rough.

delujm0 · January 2018

I think it depends on the baby's personality, like @lizq2 said. DD1 was a living nightmare as a newborn, she had reflux and colic and I threatened to cut my maternity leave short several times to go back to work just so she could scream at someone else for 8 hours a day. We almost didn't want a second kid after that experience. That said, once she hit 3-4 months she became a lot more reasonable, and is a great toddler.

DD2 has been the most chill, easy baby ever. It took her a bit longer to start sleeping well at night, and she hates naps, but she's so happy and easy that I don't even care. If we got another one like DD2 i don't anticipate it being all that bad. As long as DD2 continues to remain reasonable at least haha. If we get another one like DD1 I may lose my mind. But at least I know now that the crazy time should go away after 3-4 months.

LC12261012 · January 2018

How far along are you?
11w2d

Boy/Girl/ Team Green/Don't Know Yet? I think this time we’ll go to one of those elective ultrasound places to find out before the A/S. The one by me starts at 14w.

How old are your other kid(s)?
DD is 4, DS is 11 months.

Rants/Raves/Questions (related to being a STM, stages your kids are going through, or anything else)-
I’m starting to feel a little guilty for not giving my DS enough time to be “the baby”. I’m just hoping they will have a great bond.

GTKY: What is something you thought you needed the first time around but never actually used?
I think we used most of our stuff with our first, and almost all was used again with our second. Saved everything so it will be getting a third use.

ashleyandjody · January 2018

@westphilly Were you in Jan16 BMB? I spent time in there after I had DD because my EDD with her was Feb. 4th. DD has already started acting 2, so I'm dreading what happens when she actually turns 2 in a couple of weeks. Here lately she has been spitting water on the floor and thinks it is the funniest thing.

westphilly · January 2018

@ashleyandjody I was, sort of. I started out and kind of made it to the private group(BurnBook I think?), but got booted out for not participating enough. At the time, we had just gutted our house, I was working part time, and I was in grad school full time. So, I was a little busy. And, really panicked about our house, because our contractor quit and moved to CA right before we started, but after I found out I was pregnant. So, we had to scramble, and hire people ourselves and be our own general contractor. 2.5 years later, and our house still isn't finished. So, we decided to just go for #2! LOL.

DS was due Jan 7, but born Dec 30 (thank you extra tax break + keeping all of the med expenses in one year!). Two is much harder than I thought. He's been such an easy kid so far, and this has hit me hard. Plus, my patience is thin and i can feel the pregnancy hormones making me get angry quicker. This morning, he did not want to brush teeth after breakfast. And then was just in meltdown mode, which takes awhile to recover from. We didn't have time for the recovery, so I had to force him to get dressed, which I hate. I really like working with him to do things like getting dressed. I found myself missing the infant days of just bundling them up and off you go. They definitely like to test a lot at this age! The water spitting sounds familiar! Although, i'm sure some other moms will tell us that threenagers (and older) is going to be even more challenging, so... ugh.
I have to remind myself of the great parts though, like when he runs to me with arms wide open yelling "mommy!" and i can see that i'm his whole world. Or when he's sad or sick and the only thing that calms him is snuggling up with me. Or when he says "Luv woo!" I know I'll miss these days when he's older, so I have to keep that in perspective.

serenbach · January 2018

@westphilly I second that with the pregnancy hormones! I feel guilty because I’ve been getting so cross about things that I would usually just shrug off but I just get so irritable over little things. Toddlers are hard, and pregnancy is hard first time round let alone second time when you have a toddler who makes it their mission to test you daily and you’re running on empty (or decaf coffee).

westphilly · January 2018

@serenbach I'm starting to get terrified of the first few days postpartum. If this pregnancy is anything like last time, the hormones right now are nothing compared to those first few weeks after delivery. I was a giant mess. How am I going to be a giant mess and still be a good mom to a toddler who doesn't really understand why I'm a giant mess?!

livinthesunnylife · January 2018

@westphilly Do you have people that can help? DH just started at a new company and actually gets paternity leave now! Just two weeks, but should be long enough to help me with that initial recovery.

ashleyandjody · January 2018

@westphilly You almost made me cry with the good moments of your post! I'm crying at everything these days though...oh pregnancy hormones.

ble1 · January 2018

How far along are you? 8 weeks today

Boy/Girl/ Team Green/Don't Know Yet? We're finding out. Last time we went to an ultrasound place at 17 weeks and were told the gender and we got dvd of him moving all around which we got to share with family.

How old are your other kid(s)? 13 month

Rants/Raves/Questions (related to being a STM, stages your kids are going through, or anything else)- poor ds he got a cold the day after Christmas and last week we took him to dr and he got antibiotics. He is still on them and now has a virus. He's had the virus since Tuesday and still has a cold and dr told us to wait until this weekend to see how he is.

GTKY: What is something you thought you needed the first time around but never actually used? I would say newborn clothing like others. He didnt get much use out of it. We did receive a really cute newborn outfit that he wore home.

ssthomps · January 2018

livinthesunnylife said:

@westphilly Do you have people that can help? DH just started at a new company and actually gets paternity leave now! Just two weeks, but should be long enough to help me with that initial recovery.

I second this, it is really important to have help. I hope there are friends or family that can give you a little break when needed. Remember to ask, because people can’t mind read. So be open and honest about the help that you need.

serenbach · January 2018

@westphilly it’s a really overwhelming thought isn’t it, I had almost forgot about those raw emotions that surface during that time. I guess the only consolation that I have is that I will be prepared for them whereas last time I was not at all. Lots of pep talks to DS about all the different ways this baby will affect everyone and this time round I think I will allow myself to be emotional and vulnerable at times and accept help when it’s offered instead of thinking I’m the strongest most independent women to ever birth a child. Will you have any extra support during those first few weeks? I’m hoping my partner will be able to have more than 2 days off this time.

calimom2524 · January 2018

@westphilly Having a threenager is super unfun, I swear, but the twos are no joke too. I have DS1 who is 5 and DS2 who is 3 and both have been completely different on when they've gone through their challenging stage. DS1 was basically a PITA from 18months-4 and DS2 has been super easy and chill until 3 and he is now a total lunatic lol. All of this just to say, three may not be worse for you than two! You never know. You're doing a great job and your son loves you very much. Going from one kid to two is very challenging and yes the first days are kind of like "uhhh...what did I do?" but there are so many touching moments as well. Think of when your DS gets to meet new baby for the first time, that's something you only get to experience once and it is magical. As with all major life changes, it will take time for you all to find your new normal, but you're going to be just fine.

westphilly · January 2018

Awww, you're all making me cry! I know it's going to be great seeing DS become a big brother. He's so sweet with the babies at daycare and I know he'll be with this one too. He keeps saying he wants a sister too which tells me he is understanding what we're telling him, at least as much as a two year old can process. And, yes, I will be prepared for those emotions/hormones this time, whereas last time I did not know what postpartum would be like.
And, I do have good help. My SO will take off for at least a week, more if I ask him to. My mom will be there a lot, and I had lots of friends drop by last time too. Thanks for the reminder to ask for lots of help! Will need to keep telling myself that.

Secretstapler · January 2018

@redheadbride15 Oh, man, I didn't even think about how DS would react to seeing the new baby with a pacifier. He was super addicted to it until about 23 months, then he seemed to decide he just didn't need it as much and could talk better without it, so he cut back a lot. But he still loves it and uses it for sleeping and randomly throughout the day, and we haven't made any effort yet to restrict it. Now I think we need to come up with a plan for getting rid of it before he thinks the baby stole it. I think the timing is going to be the hardest part, we did a lot of traveling, then he got sick. I'm worried we won't know we're in a good window until it's over.

How far along are you?
9 weeks tomorrow!

Boy/Girl/ Team Green/Don't Know Yet?
Don't know yet. I'm pretty sure we're finding out. I don't like calling the baby "it".

How old are your other kid(s)?
DS turned 2 a couple of weeks ago.

Rants/Raves/Questions (related to being a STM, stages your kids are going through, or anything else)-
The poor kid has a cold right now, so we've been keeping him home for a couple of days. He's actually pretty sweet while the ibuprofen is working, and he's been extra cuddly. But we've watched more kids TV in the last 48 hours than the previous 24 months. I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home parent in general, but especially while exhausted and nauseous. It's hard to leave the couch.

GTKY: What is something you thought you needed the first time around but never actually used?
The only thing I can think of is a high chair that clamps on to the table. I still like the idea, but it didn't work with our table, so it didn't get used. I'm actually a little afraid to check DS's closet, there are likely things we never used because I forgot they existed.

princesslockness · January 2018

@redheadbride15 @Secretstapler L is at the ‘ I need it to sleep’ stage. We decided we were going to do the ‘paci fairy’ is taking them to someone else who needs them. Hopefully I can come up with something to show the fairy cake to give #3 them, so he won’t be jealous.

redheadbride15 · January 2018

@princesslockness that’s a good idea! How old is your LO? I don’t think DS would “get it” now (he’s only 19 mo) but he’ll be 26 mo when baby is born... maybe that’s old enough to rationalize with? Maybe that’s too much to hope for though... I have no idea!

@Secretstapler we’re also dealing with the back-to-back traveling and illnesses issue, not to mention a sleep regression (which may be related to said traveling/illnesses) so now is NOT the right time to say bye bye to paci... but I’ll be looking for an opportunity in the next few months. Of course we have a cross-country flight in April which I’m already worried about...

princesslockness · January 2018

@redheadbride15 He is 29 months, so almost 2.5

ecwk · January 2018

Guy I regret not doing my kegels last time around. I'm so weak down there still but I feel like it's worse recently!!! Crossing my legs to sneeze is a habit at this point

I was going to get some Ben Wa balls but idk if they Can be used during pregnancy!!!

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