I'm way late to the party on this thread, but as far as the books instead of cards goes... why not just figure it in as a gift and not a card? I always get a little book for baby showers anyway, so it just means I dont have to buy a card
The thing about books at showers (baby and bridal) that I hate is when people write a note on the inside. I ended up with two of the same cookbook at my bridal shower and three or four (can't remember now) of the same book between two baby showers for my son. Because of the notes written in them, I wasn't able to exchange them for something else. Even a post it would be better at that point. But I'm also super weird about books and can't stand when people write in them/fold pages/etc so thats part of it for me
Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09 DS born 3/11 Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!! divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started) Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!! Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18 TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
I noticed a few people mentioned feeling uncomfortable openings gifts while everyone watches, I can completely relate! At my previous baby shower my friends did a great job at keeping music going, snacks being served and games bumpin’ while I opened gifts. I think everyone enjoyed their time much more that way, and it’s was much more relaxed for me. The people who wanted to watch me open gifts could do so, but everyone else was free to keep enjoying their time visiting and having fun. I would suggest considering voicing that idea to your friends/family who are hosting, it might help! Also, suggesting that the tables are set up so conversation is encouraged. I’ve attended a shower or two where everyone is in a circle or the chairs are in rows facing the guest of honour, yikes, pressure for the person opening! All eyes up front, not something I would have been able to enjoy.
Also, being a STM I would suggest considering the book instead of a card as an *option* for your guests. I’m not one to go back and look at cards much, but my son loves reading and we never have enough books. Also, guests are generally informed of this request at the time they received the invitation, so they can factor the cost of the book into their budget before shopping. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an additional cost.
Any STMs planning on having their kid/kids at the baby shower? It seems like I’m going to have to bring DS because dh is taking the time off for us to go to CA so he’ll probably have to work the weekend of the shower.
I’m a STM as well. Friends and co-workers have offered to host a shower this time, but we have so much stuff already from our first that we’ve declined. Instead we’ll likely have a casual bbq in the summer and rent a bouncy castle or something for our son and other kids, people can come meet baby then if they want. If people’s attention is all on the baby, our 3 yr old son won’t likely notice much as he’ll be having a blast in the bouncy castle. How old is your little one @lincbeesmom ? Perhaps the people hosting or a close friend/family could arrange for some entertainment for your DS? Or perhaps you could brig a gift for him that you know would keep him entertained? Or if he’s old enough, maybe he’ll enjoy being assigned fun tasks like ‘helping’ open presents? Just a thought. also, enjoy your time in CA! Fun!
@mlindzz he’ll be 4 in March. My mom and sister will be there and it’s all family attending so he should have plenty to keep him busy. I already mentioned to my mom that maybe we can take him to target to pick something out or designate one present be to him from his brothers. I just don’t want him feeling jealous since all the presents will be for the babies. He’s not normally a “mine mine mine” kind of kid so I’m optimistic about it. He just loves parties in general haha
So I decided to pop in and see what the party was here and now I’m crying.
@lincbeesmom my godkids came to my shower. I wasn’t asking their mama to get a sitter on a Saturday when her husband had to work. We had little crafts for them for baby and they had a blast.
I had kids at my shower. I went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of arts and crafts supplies and some other little toys and stuff to keep them busy. As for timing for showers, mine was pretty early since I was having twins-I think I was 30 weeks? It was April 12th and my due date wasn't until June 19th. But just to let everyone know, most of the completion coupons aren't sent out until a few days/weeks after your due date. Which doesn't make sense, because you're going to need that stuff before the baby gets here! Here's a weird, ESP-type experience-after I found out that the coupon wouldn't be sent until after my due date, I decided to change my due date on my registries to get it sooner, and I changed it to the day I ended up having my girls. Creepy!
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@sandbar517 I had read the coupons don't come until after the due date so I made mine all for a month earlier. I of course had to explain this to my mother who now believes I'm lying to her and I'm due in April. I haven't told anyone aside from my superintendent and my husband what my real sure date is. Family and coworkers I either tell June or beginning of June. I figure with a may 30th date there's a very good chance we're looking at June and not May.
Amazon is great for registering. My completion discount starts March 12, so that's pretty awesome, and I've already qualified for $100 in diapers and wipes, was able to pick out a free pregnancy kindle book, and got my welcome box in the mail, too.
How are people adding registry info in their invites? I read that it's a faux paus to put it directly on the invite, but honestly all these etiquette rules seem a bit much ...
Not doing a shower until early April so we're going with an April Shower theme - rain boots, rain clouds, duckies, umbrellas - all in a blue, white, gray, and yellow color scheme. It's going to be boyish and cute! I can't wait to help with all the decorations.
Is anyone else working on their own shower? My best friend is hosting and taking on a lot of the responsibilities, but there's a bunch of stuff I'll be doing, too.
@psreddengoulet yes the amazon registry is awesome. I’m not having a shower since this is baby #2 but the welcome box, completion discount and diaper credit is awesome. I’ve just been adding any and everything we purchase to our registry first if it counts to the diapers lol even things completely unrelated to baby seem to count
For my first, I'm pretty positive where I was registered was on the invitations. Since a baby shower is a gift giving event, I think it's understood that places you're registered would be on there.
Also, I did NOTHING for my baby shower except provide a guest list and say where I was registered. I showed up at the date and time I was told. All showers I have attended (bridal and baby showers) were all done by the host and the person who it's for had little to no involvement in planning. The way I see it, the event is for that person and not som
All I did for my shower was provide a list of guests and bring some spinach dip haha
the places I was registered at were included on the invitation and the Facebook invite. I think only three people shopped from my registry so it wasn’t a huge deal either way.
Im still in the “you don’t plan your own baby shower” camp but to each their own
I agree with @lincbeesmom....you shouldnt be hosting/planning your own shower. So there is nothing wrong with saying "so and so is registered at babies r us and amazon" on the invite, since the invite isnt coming from the mom-to-be. Now, if your invite says that you are hosting and to RSVP to you (already bad ettiquette IMO) then putting "im registered at.... " does seem ridiculous. But, again.... the invite should be coming from the host, not you...so no issues with putting registry info on it.
So I know this is going to sound super ungrateful, and it's not that at all... does anyone else desperately NOT want a shower?
I hate being the center of attention. This is technically our third baby (1 boy each from our previous marriages) but our first together. We don't have a ton of stuff from when the boys were babies- mine was mostly destroyed by my ex when I left it in our house during the divorce and his ex sold almost everything they had so he has none of dss's baby stuff- but we're also in our 30's and pretty settled financially.... I don't know, I just feel awkward about the whole thing. My family knows how I feel and I think they'll listen. I'm sure my mom and sister will end up doing something little, but I think it'll be more like an immediate family lunch at my parents' house type thing. I'm not supposed to know, but they're planning me a "little" shower at work (one of my mom's best friends works for the same company as me, so she told my mom what they're planning) the issue is, "little" means all the women in the plant, it's 50-60 people. That's not little in my book... Again, I appreciate it so so much, I know I sound like a spoiled brat, I just hate having a ton of people focused on literally my every move (we have to cram it into under an hour because it's a production facility and we only get 30 minutes for lunch most days so when we've had them here before there have been no games or music or anything because there isn't time) I'm dreading it to a level I cannot explain.... ugh, I'm a terrible person.....
Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09 DS born 3/11 Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!! divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started) Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!! Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18 TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
@ladystinson Don't feel bad, I'm the same way. This is our third girl, and we planned on having more kids, so kept all of our stuff. I know my family won't do anything (second showers/sprinkles are not popular around here), but one of my work friends told me they're planning a "surprise" shower for me at work (I didn't work here with the first two). I asked her to please not do anything, we had twins so we actually have twice the amount of stuff we need (we've actually been selling the extras of the big stuff-high chairs, swings, etc). Her answer was, "You know they're going to do *something*", so she said she would try and tell them to just do diapers/wipes or gift cards or something like that. I've decided to just try and be grateful, and just let them do what makes them happy. Just vent to us, and then paste a smile on and try your best to enjoy it.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@sandbar517 that's about where I'm at. I just feel like I've been such an attention whore here. I started here right at the beginning of my divorce and since everyone was kind of in the loop of my crazy, I made a huge divorce cake that fed our plant twice over lol MH had started here a month after me and started his divorce about 6 months after mine was finalized. Then we started dating the month his was final, got engaged 3 months later, married 3 days after that. He was in the process of buying a house during that which was finally complete 2 weeks after we got married. Then they threw us a joint wedding shower/house warming at work about 2 months after we got married. Then 2 years later we're back at it with a baby lol I'm a whole lot of attention whore lol
But I will paste on a smile, too. I know they're excited and of course it's coming from a good place so I'll shut up and just internally crawl out of my own skin with awkwardness lol At least my mom is getting details and she doesn't think that baby showers should be a complete surprise since by that point you usually feel huge and are potentially not putting as much effort into looking like something lol so even if it's a "party for so-and-so" to get you there, she believes that you should be prepped to be around a large group of people, so she'll give me the date when she finds out. I love her!
Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09 DS born 3/11 Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!! divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started) Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!! Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18 TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
@ladystinson I also have a hard time being the center of attention. It makes me very uncomfortable. I felt the same way at my wedding and was so relieved once the formal parts of everything were over. My BFF is throwing me a small sprinkle with my closest friends and family that I am not stressed about. My office decided to plan a shower for DH and I at work since we both work for the same school district. I was a little stressed about it, but it's during lunch, so it is only 45 minutes and at least I have DH with me.
@mileswithmyles that's what I'm hoping! DH is getting ready to travel at the end of march to train a new employee of his (he manages IT for our whole company) so I'm hoping he's back so we can tag team it. He loves to be the center of attention and is a total ham lol
Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09 DS born 3/11 Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!! divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started) Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!! Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18 TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
@ladystinson I am the same way. I don't think that you are ungrateful. you are entitled not to want a shower. I tried protesting and gave up with my first pregnancy.
I am not into showers. traditions be damned. My MIL insisted on throwing a shower for me. We didn't do games cuz I didn't want to, and it was co-ed which really was a requirement for me. Most of my friends were guys and well my theory was it takes two to make a baby, if I have to go to the shower, so does my baby's father! Since it was summer time, we basically just did a BBQ. Easy going, so honestly it wasn't bad, maybe even a lil fun because it was laid back and more like a friendly get together. Not that there is anything wrong with traditional baby showers.
If people don't put where you register to on your invite, how will your guests know where you are registered? I didn't realise that was taboo.
I get a baby shower this time, not cuz I want one but cuz MIL likes to throw parties. I am giving her free reign this time. But it will be op-ed and via FB event invite to make things simpler, I don't like wasting paper invites. Also my son is 6.5, we gave away and donated all his stuff long ago. We actually have basically all the big ticket items already do to buying them ourselves or hand me downs, so my registry is filled with things that I think are more fun for others to buy. Clothes, diapers, small toys, baby towels, random things.
Oh and don't worry if you get too many diapers of the same sizes. Stores will let you exchange them for the size you need.
@doubleblessings1124 I love the pics! We did a happi woodland theme for ds 1st birthday, it’s a cute theme
We are not having a big shower for number 2, but I’m sure my office will throw a little sprinkle. My co-workers are super supportive and love buying baby stuff. I don’t need much.
I’ve been to a few showers that had large guest lists and I wish they had split them into multiple showers instead. One of the ladies got so many presents it took her a few hours to get through everything. It’s a fine balance, not spending too much time opening each gift, but not rushing through and looking unappreciative.
My baby shower for ds was around 32-33 weeks and it was perfect. I was a comfortable size and it was enough time before baby came to figure out what else I needed to buy.
@squashandlaces are sprinkles like mini showers and ppls don't buy off a registry? Just curious. Seems like it's done more by coworkers but I don't really honestly know
@kendrajos Sprinkles are "mini-showers" usually thrown for second (or third, or fourth, etc.) babies. It seems they are more popular in certain areas of the country than others, or by people at work (or family even) that just want an excuse to have a party Sometimes they are thrown because it's been many years since mom has had her last baby and doesn't have any of the equipment needed anymore, or maybe because the baby is a different sex than the first, or whatever. I think it mostly depends on the mom, and the reason it's being thrown, whether or not they make a registry for it.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@sandbar517 lol then I might be having more of a sprinkle... though with lots of ppls because my MIL likes to throw parties! My son is 6.5, and although we had gotten rid of all his baby stuff, we have been acquiring the big items throughout the pregnancy so we don't actually need much. But there will be games and food and stuff. I dunno it's all confusing and honestly I don't care what she has planned as long as she feeds me! :P
My friend is throwing me a sprinkle in April. I'm actually a little uncomfortable about it because DS is only 3, but a lot of people have asked about it. I have a car seat, PNP, swing, stroller,diapers (we cloth diapered DS), etc, so really I just registered for a few bottles, decorations for her room, and a carrier. I don't think I have anything over $50 in either of my registries. A lot of people are just excited to buy clothes for a little girl.
Re: Baby Shower Thread
The thing about books at showers (baby and bridal) that I hate is when people write a note on the inside. I ended up with two of the same cookbook at my bridal shower and three or four (can't remember now) of the same book between two baby showers for my son. Because of the notes written in them, I wasn't able to exchange them for something else. Even a post it would be better at that point. But I'm also super weird about books and can't stand when people write in them/fold pages/etc so thats part of it for me
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
Also, being a STM I would suggest considering the book instead of a card as an *option* for your guests. I’m not one to go back and look at cards much, but my son loves reading and we never have enough books. Also, guests are generally informed of this request at the time they received the invitation, so they can factor the cost of the book into their budget before shopping. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an additional cost.
@lincbeesmom my godkids came to my shower. I wasn’t asking their mama to get a sitter on a Saturday when her husband had to work. We had little crafts for them for baby and they had a blast.
As for timing for showers, mine was pretty early since I was having twins-I think I was 30 weeks? It was April 12th and my due date wasn't until June 19th. But just to let everyone know, most of the completion coupons aren't sent out until a few days/weeks after your due date. Which doesn't make sense, because you're going to need that stuff before the baby gets here! Here's a weird, ESP-type experience-after I found out that the coupon wouldn't be sent until after my due date, I decided to change my due date on my registries to get it sooner, and I changed it to the day I ended up having my girls. Creepy!
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
How are people adding registry info in their invites? I read that it's a faux paus to put it directly on the invite, but honestly all these etiquette rules seem a bit much ...
Is anyone else working on their own shower? My best friend is hosting and taking on a lot of the responsibilities, but there's a bunch of stuff I'll be doing, too.
The April Showers theme sounds super cute!
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
Also, I did NOTHING for my baby shower except provide a guest list and say where I was registered. I showed up at the date and time I was told. All showers I have attended (bridal and baby showers) were all done by the host and the person who it's for had little to no involvement in planning. The way I see it, the event is for that person and not som
the places I was registered at were included on the invitation and the Facebook invite. I think only three people shopped from my registry so it wasn’t a huge deal either way.
Im still in the “you don’t plan your own baby shower” camp but to each their own
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
So I know this is going to sound super ungrateful, and it's not that at all...
does anyone else desperately NOT want a shower?
I hate being the center of attention. This is technically our third baby (1 boy each from our previous marriages) but our first together. We don't have a ton of stuff from when the boys were babies- mine was mostly destroyed by my ex when I left it in our house during the divorce and his ex sold almost everything they had so he has none of dss's baby stuff- but we're also in our 30's and pretty settled financially.... I don't know, I just feel awkward about the whole thing. My family knows how I feel and I think they'll listen. I'm sure my mom and sister will end up doing something little, but I think it'll be more like an immediate family lunch at my parents' house type thing. I'm not supposed to know, but they're planning me a "little" shower at work (one of my mom's best friends works for the same company as me, so she told my mom what they're planning) the issue is, "little" means all the women in the plant, it's 50-60 people. That's not little in my book... Again, I appreciate it so so much, I know I sound like a spoiled brat, I just hate having a ton of people focused on literally my every move (we have to cram it into under an hour because it's a production facility and we only get 30 minutes for lunch most days so when we've had them here before there have been no games or music or anything because there isn't time) I'm dreading it to a level I cannot explain.... ugh, I'm a terrible person.....
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
But I will paste on a smile, too. I know they're excited and of course it's coming from a good place so I'll shut up and just internally crawl out of my own skin with awkwardness lol At least my mom is getting details and she doesn't think that baby showers should be a complete surprise since by that point you usually feel huge and are potentially not putting as much effort into looking like something lol so even if it's a "party for so-and-so" to get you there, she believes that you should be prepped to be around a large group of people, so she'll give me the date when she finds out. I love her!
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
@ladystinson I am the same way. I don't think that you are ungrateful.
I am not into showers.
If people don't put where you register to on your invite, how will your guests know where you are registered? I didn't realise that was taboo.
I get a baby shower this time, not cuz I want one but cuz MIL likes to throw parties. I am giving her free reign this time. But it will be op-ed and via FB event invite to make things simpler, I don't like wasting paper invites. Also my son is 6.5, we gave away and donated all his stuff long ago. We actually have basically all the big ticket items already do to buying them ourselves or hand me downs, so my registry is filled with things that I think are more fun for others to buy. Clothes, diapers, small toys, baby towels, random things.
Oh and don't worry if you get too many diapers of the same sizes. Stores will let you exchange them for the size you need.
We are not having a big shower for number 2, but I’m sure my office will throw a little sprinkle. My co-workers are super supportive and love buying baby stuff. I don’t need much.
I’ve been to a few showers that had large guest lists and I wish they had split them into multiple showers instead. One of the ladies got so many presents it took her a few hours to get through everything. It’s a fine balance, not spending too much time opening each gift, but not rushing through and looking unappreciative.
My baby shower for ds was around 32-33 weeks and it was perfect. I was a comfortable size and it was enough time before baby came to figure out what else I needed to buy.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17